Self Inflicted Destruction: A Guide Book for Multiple Sclerosis Patients

By Nora Aloraini

For a Saudi teenage girl it took me a lot of courage to do this but In this book I will share with you my story with multiple sclerosis in details.
And I have contacted multiple sclerosis patients and let them write down what are their most hated symptoms and how does it feel to them and how they overcome it when it strikes them and gathered it all in this book.
I hope that this book will be the guide that I needed for myself when I was first diagnosed, the guide that will help you overcome this disease and prove to you that youre strong.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 20, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503579323

Nora Aloraini

My name is Nora Ishaq Ibrahim Aloraini and I am from the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, You never see a book or a movie about a Multiple Sclerosis patient right? Well, now here it is In your hands is a book about a girl with multiple sclerosis written by the girl herself. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 16 years old. When I was first diagnosed I needed answers, I never heard of what M.S was and the internet couldn’t provide me with what I needed to do when I got this symptom in public or what to do to avoid it.

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Nora Aloraini.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 06/19/2015

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Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

I really don’t know how to start this;

It’s just another book or whatever you want to call it.

Dear reader:

I highly doubt that you’re reading this because you care, you’re probably just feeding your curiosity and that’s okay because it is human nature. I am writing this because it is time for a change.

I used to ask myself why do you smile to people you can’t bare the sight of?

Why are you nice to people who treat you badly?

Why are you shy? . . . afraid?

You’re going to die anyways so why?

They’re only going to remember you for a few years… and then those who remember you shall pass away too… and it will be like you never existed.

And that is one of the reasons why it is time for a change.

In these upcoming pages I will share with you my story;

I don’t usually share stories or even talk about myself, but at least I might be remembered with this little book of stories.

Chapter One

16 years ago I was born in Riyadh/Saudi Arabia

My mom is a house mother and my father is a council in the Saudi embassy, I have two sisters older and a younger brother

We moved a lot because of my father’s work, and as a kid I loved it but as a teenager I hated it so much I hated getting attached to people then never meet them again and that is one of the reasons why I don’t have many friends

Our last stop was in Tunisia

I made a lot of friends and got attached to many of them, I used to come back from school and sit with my parents and talk about what I did in school and not a single weekend passed without me hanging out with my friends.

Once, I got back from school and when I reached my room I found a guitar on my bed and it was one of the sweetest moments ever

I rushed down while screaming there is a guitar on my bed!! Who got it for me who who

It was a lovely surprise from my parents because they knew how badly I wanted to learn how to play the guitar.

And my father signed me up to a music school so I can learn how to play the guitar… and everything was going too good

Way too good… it couldn’t possibly ever last.

After living in Tunisia for two years we went back to Riyadh and as days passed by I started feeling numb, I thought it was normal to feel numb because I was depressed… but it wasn’t

Day by day it started getting worse and I was so naive I ignored it.

My father had to travel for work so it was just us

And our home felt empty without my father’s voice.

Time passed and I couldn’t bare how numb my skin felt, I was afraid that im going to get paralyzed and I just had to do something about it

And so I took a razor

taking that razor blade and deciding to cut myself wasn’t an easy thing to do at all, but my skin was so numb and I was afraid that I might not feel anything anymore

And That this was just the beginning of if all

And I thought that if I cut myself I would feel, even if it was pain

 . . . afterall pain is a feeling too… and I just wanted to feel anything.

I took a deep breath and held the razor blade and my hand was shaking like crazy, I wasn’t afraid of if I cut myself it would hut actually I was afraid that if I did cut myself it wouldn’t hurt

And so I did… the cut was where I felt numb the most, it was on my leg

And no, it didn’t hurt as it was supposed to and I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore

I was traumatized.

Days passed and I didn’t tell anyone about that. I was… and still is afraid.

To be honest I never told anyone about it except for my bestfriend kitto.

Days later I tried to continue practicing how to play my guitar, because I did not want to forget what my music teacher have taught me, and there is no music schools in Riyadh so I just had to rely on the little things he taught me and youtube.

I noticed that my fingers were too numb… i couldn’t press on the strings I was too weak

And so I tried and tried and I had no control over my fingers whenever I want to press a string my finger moves to another side

And I had no control over how my fingers move… they just moved on their own

I couldn’t believe it and it made me so upset, I thought that I have forgot how to play the guitar already. But no.

So I just grabbed my finger with my other hand and pressed it against the string so I can at least make one good note… Only one

I lifted my hand away from my finger hoping that my finger would stay on the string on the same strength, but as soon as I lifted my hand my finger moved away

I was upset