Wise Up: No Learning Is as Big as Life Itself

By Soni Shalini

My debut book Wise Up is a bringing together of all worldliness and wisdom that heaped upon my soul, as I walked, hand in hand with life, breathing, feeling and touching it, moment by moment. It is not a biography, but whispers of wisdom by handpicked living souls that crossed my path and touched my life. Here, I have tried to paint my experiences into lessons of learning in three compartments, primarily, my childhood, secondly mothers illness and ultimately my soul mate who has been a life coach, in a vibrant, entertaining, amusing but intriguing and inspirational manner. The book is a complete walk through of captivating, alluring and spellbinding stories of value and wisdom; articles of worthiness that showcases gospel of learning, these stories are real life experiences as well as grandmother fables. I believe these gems and jewels will touch the core of your heart, soul and spirit, encouraging you to live an ecstatic, hearty and blissful life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing India
• Release date: Jul 7, 2015
• ISBN: 9781482848014

Soni Shalini

“Wise Up” is the maiden venture of Soni Shalini as an author. She is a freelance life coach writer, who works for one mission and one purpose, to touch and transform, many and myriad lives through the might of her pen. She has graduated from Avila Convent (Patna Woman’s College), accomplished her Master Degree, followed by a professional degree in Law. Being a conscientious soul, her leanings are messages of human virtues that I am sure will boost the life of the readers.

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Soni Shalini.

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4828-4802-1

                Softcover        978-1-4828-4803-8

                eBook             978-1-4828-4801-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

www.partridgepublishing.com/india

INDEX

Part I

1. Setting out on a new journey

2. How I was born

3. Mom and me

4. Father and me

5. Brother and me

6. Power of courage

7. Happiness, the ultimate bliss

8. Trust and be trusted

9. Bitterness is a curse

10. Truth Triumphs

11. Simplicity is a virtue

12. Humility is humane

13. Gratitude is Godliness

14. True love is unconditional

15. Patience is power

16. Putting pen to paper

Part II

17. Death is a new beginning

18. Power of intention

19. Suffering, our greatest teacher

20. Present is a present (gift)

21. Life without purpose is worthless

22. Awareness, the breath of life

23. Recognising human instincts

24. Live your dream

25. Secret of success

26. No risk, no game

27. Ego is self-destructive

28. Intuition, our inner guide

29. A perfect end

Part III

30. Road to greatness is tough

31. Synchronicity, a godly coincidence

32. Knowing thyself

33. Karma, the heavenly justice

34. Nature, the true home

35. Consciousness

36. Life is above being right or wrong

37. Power of love

38. Love and attachment

39. Detachment in love

40. Love is a behaviour

41. Life is unpredictable

42. Farewell

DEDICATION

Papa & Mummy

This is for you!!!!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

A s my book sets off on its creative cruise, exploring ideas, walking through words, sailing into sentences, flying on the pinion of pages, eventually being brought together into a book, touching many and myriad souls in a gracious and gratifying way, my book owes benediction to one and all. My special thanks to my entire family and friends, my overwhelming gratitude to my husband and children, who always kept their faith alive in me and walked hand in hand with me in the journey of my book. Although very few of you are featured in the content of the book, all of you live in its spirit. Thank you all!

PREFACE

R umi says, ‘Anyone who genuinely and constantly with both hands looks for something will find it.’

I had always dreamt to be an author. Since my adolescence, there had been myriad endeavours to satiate my appetite for writing a book, but all were simply wild goose chase. My dream of being an author was shelved and did take a backseat in the wake of my studies, though, off and on, I did keep the ball rolling by penning down a few articles, but there was no fire in my belly to publish them in book form. We all know, ‘Responsibility thy name is life!’ Got married, had children, that made me hold the bag of burden most of the time, but still, I was hanging tough on my dream and I did not give up writing, stretching myself to become a superwoman, who is like a six-shooter at a time. I geared and accelerated myself with full might to write a book. I named the book Ahead of Time and worked on it day and night during my leisure and was fortunate enough to complete one-fourth of it, but sadly, it was put on ice.

Years have rolled on. Today, once again with all hopes, my writing passion has wheeled me into my age-old fanaticism of being an author. After many years, the intensity is like a dam that is under too much pressure—it could burst open with just a small crack and would lead to the birth of an author. Life and experiences have made me a mature woman, and there is no dearth of topic. Being a wisdom seeker for the past few years has pushed me through many realities of life. Who am I? What is the purpose of life? What is life all about? Now, when I look back into my life, I can only visualise the lessons and gather all the wisdom.

While walking on the path of life, we meet myriad and million but only handpick a few and put their hallmark on our hearts, and a candle within us is ready to be lighted, a void in our soul ready to be fulfilled. This book is a garland of gems collected throughout my life to adorn my being. It is not a biography, but whispers of wisdom that touched my life by handpicked living souls that had crossed my path. I have tried to paint my experiences into lessons of learning in three compartments, primarily, my childhood; secondly, Mother’s illness; and ultimately, my soulmate, who has been a life coach.

It is an honest attempt to convey the learning of life through the medium of real life stories. We know that every life is unique and so are the experiences of life. However, all of us go through phases of happiness, sorrow, exhilaration, and depression in our life and the lessons drawn are quite similar for most of us. I hope the readers would be able to relate to my experiences and my learning may be relevant for many of you. In case my experiences and learning help in improving the quality of life of my readers in any way, it would be the biggest achievement of my life, and I would consider that my mission of life has been accomplished.

Last but not the least, read and learn everything that comes your way, but turn on to your own inner self for the call of wisdom because every life is unique. These lessons will focus and light your path, but how you walk on it will be your own unique bandwagon. Rumi aptly sums up, ‘Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.’

PART I

CHAPTER 1

Setting out on a new journey

E yes brimming with tears, as I closed my eyes for prayer, the drops rolled down my cheeks, my hands joined in prayer posture, my tormented world racing inside came out in an overwhelming emotion, in my prayer, as usual, I started conversing with God. My conversation with him has always been one sided, ‘I spoke and he listened.’ I remember, when I was a mere minor, I used to sit every night in an intimate talk with God, discussing the whole day as to how it had been, all grudges and grievances, sharing all good and gratifying experiences. This habit to converse with God since childhood eventually metamorphosed into my second nature and it has been an old hat now.

As I was about to start my conversation with God, there was sensitivity inside that things are falling apart, bringing into my being a constant vacuum. As I opened my mouth, my speech cracked down, wet whistling my words and tone, only murmur and purr broke out from me. I put immense effort to breathe away, tranquilising the volcano in my heart, and started speaking, ‘Oh God! Take me to your abode, our abode and everyone’s abode. I am a complete stranger here, in my reasonably long life. Although I had come alone but to my utter dismay, I am still alone. There shall be many friends, was shown the lay of the land, but could not connect with one true life. There has been really no true comrade, they think, I am a creature from another world. Dear God, why did you bless me with the virtues of selflessness, innocence, and purity of heart, it is out of the place, to be left in the cold. There is no understanding for these things in this world.’

With my immense gratitude, I thanked God for listening to me patiently and passionately, as I walked down from my room to the lobby, striding and pacing towards the passage of my room, my mind was exploding with my thoughts of worriment. I tramped, murmuring to myself, ‘If you have shown up the baggage of goodness, simply live and see, you will be milked out at every juncture, snatched of all belongings of your being, and you will be left naked. The world is for the opportunists, self-seekers, manipulators, and extortionist and not a safe place for real and soulful beings.’ Morose and taken down, as I gathered myself to sit in my sling (a bright red couch, extraordinary in its shape, with fingers folded in a meditative mode), I slipped into my memory lane reminiscing, moving around on the road of thoughts, walking slowly.

Yes! It has been aptly said, ‘Big calamity brings big change.’ My journey into wisdom was the outcome of a thunderous and stormy incident of my life. My mother, who had been my friend, philosopher, and guide, throughout my life, was now about to leave me for her final abode. She was diagnosed with cancer of the gall bladder in its last stage, which has already taken its root in her kidney and liver and was constantly and hastily spreading towards her brain and heart, just a matter of months. I remembered, only yesterday, she had been hale and hearty, absolutely no signs of any unforeseen calamity, everything was fine. But today, she was in immense pain, fighting with the deadly disease.

I have been a witness to her death, watching her die every day. This was my first experience to see a loved one slowly slipping from us. I didn’t sob but drank my tears, trying my best to keep her happy and occupied, with too much on her plate, so that she should not feel the pain, keeping herself busy through and through. From disease to her death had been a whole lot of learning for me and eventually proved to be a stepping stone on my path to wisdom.

Many are born and many die, but this compassionate emotionalism comes to some handpicked sensitive souls who experience every experience of life. What Buddha learned under the ‘Banyan Tree’, through constant and long meditation towards enlightenment! What Mahavir learned on the bank of the free-flowing river! I am no Buddha, no Mahavir, and will never dare to compare myself with these godly figures; just a flash of lightening came unto me, which turned my path from a happy-go-lucky person to a wisdom-seeking adult. No matter if it’s a small history now, when I had pounded the pavement of adolescence, to embrace adulthood, but truly my maturity was placed in my lap during my Mother’s death.

CHAPTER 2

How I was born

W e know in the depth of our hearts that we are fearless children of divine light and walk down to this earth with our little hands and feet, to crawl and experience the beauty and wisdom of the world and also to spread our own grace and inner knowledge among our fellow beings, thereby embracing their acumen in our being. It was my time to pack my bag and set for another precious journey. The world has always enchanted me, no matter how odd it may sound to my soul, but it’s true. With more and more experience, I was coming down to earth this time. As I chose to descend down to live a blissful life on this planet earth, with the knowhow that I am a speck of the master creator, who has instilled the whole book of wisdom into me, and realising that here we are accountable for our own mistakes and deeds. I uttered, ‘Let us do something outside home and outside self, making our journey worthwhile.’ Yes! I was on a creative pursuit, packed like sardines with wisdom from my many previous lives, and my soul has been on this loving lesson from ages and ages yet moving on another journey of lessons on life.

As I was descending on to this mother earth, I was in my natural rhythm, reminiscing its complete fantasy, its air, its mountains, its oceans, its soil, its trees, plants, and the living creatures. I was coming down to make a living, always aspiring to inspire and simply flying on my wings towards a new journey of life with my overwhelming baggage of love, care, and compassion. I believed, love is eternal and once its sweet caramel taste has touched one’s lips, he or she will be forever ensnared in its blinding net.

I was born

With God’s grace, I was born with all of nature’s glowing beauty: black curly hair, fair and bright complexion, eyes that sparkle with its heavenly innocence—it created the impression that the whole universe could be seen into it, very expressive. I believe it was not just me, but every child who is born is angelic because he is natural, pure, unadulterated, twenty-four carat pure gold. My small fragile self curled in my mother’s arms, thrumming with life. I grasped her thumb with my warm little fingers, looking at her face, gurgling softly. Light emanated from my mother’s brown eyes and she smiled and reciprocated my tiny little smile, which warmed up my heart. I felt the warmth of eternal love, at once my eyes closed with the overwhelming feeling of love in those brief moments. I thought, ‘I was rightly born,’ finding my mother, my world. This has been the beginning of my long affectionate association with my mother. My world shrunk down to the size of my mother and I started seeing my needs and desires in her, and she was alert and alive to my calls. With my every cry she was on her toes, slowly and nonchalantly, without much ado, she became indispensible to me. My life started dancing around her as I thought I got the best bargain, God gave me the best mother.

My mother for sure was a woman out of the ordinary, a beautiful combination of a breadwinner and a homemaker, absolutely ahead of time, out and out an extrovert and personified the word life, constantly bursting and bubbling with life. She came from an affluent and uptown family, living a happy-go-lucky life through and through but still her eyes looked for the good in others; lips spoke kindness, simply hard to reckon on as to how many lives she had touched positively with her generosity and selflessness.

CHAPTER 3

Mom and me

I n my cradle days, I was so wrapped in myself that I could not fathom her holding all the household bags, but unpretentiously floating in seventh heaven as all my calls were taken care of. Yes! Children are for themselves; as long as their needs are taken care of, they are satiated and serene.

As I woke up from the slumber of nettlehood, I was blessed with a brother, who came in her lap on an auspicious day, which was Jesus Christ’s birthday, twenty-fifth of December. Truly! Jesus was born in our family as he proved to be a great soul and signed in to this world with all the heavenly virtues, and he did eat, sleep, and drink with this godly goodness from the word go, on all accounts. Now I was not alone, but both of us were part of her unconditional love.

I extended my little hands for help

My awareness towards my mother matured, as I saw her stretching herself between home and work, I opened my little hands to share her load; my hands were just a mole in the mountain of her responsibilities, really too small to take up any business. She had been taking care of my father’s extended family, with her money and material, surprisingly alone in this race, and I started holding her in high esteem, admiring her through and through, she became my first inspiration. I remember one small incident that I ventured into, simply extending my little hands to help her.

Long back when I was three years of age and had not perfectly stood on my two legs, my concern for my mother flowered, somewhere in the corner of my being I had become considerable enough to string out my little hands to soothe and comfort her. But Mother was too protective about us, and she safeguarded us from crisis. Yes! This is the name of thy mother. It has been one summer vacation when my extended family, which happened to stay with us, left for their vacation for a month. We did not go as Mother was deputed as an invigilator for some examination.

It was her daily routine to cook before going out to work; one day as she was busy cooking lunch for us on the kerosene stove, boiling some rice in a vessel on one burner and had placed some lentil on the other burner, I was sitting beside her, simply handing out my company without bugging or giving her any hard time. Silently, I was watching her cook. In the mean time, the bell rang; she bounced on her feet to find out who was at the door, showing me the ropes before departing, ‘Sony, do not touch anything or you will get burnt, call me when you see water spilling over the vessels.’ I simply nodded my head in a positive gesture and saw her get up and go to the veranda briskly, just like the dickens. I stood watching her go. The moment she was out of sight, I wheeled my full body to be on the job, watching the bowl of boiling rice as instructed by my mother. Within a blink of my eyes, water from the vessel started pouring outwardly, falling on the stove. I held myself for a few minutes but found the water rushing down profusely, so instead of calling her, I stood up, switched off the stove, took a towel, held the vessel in a tight grip, and strained the water in a container, placing the rice in the side of the corner. My mother too had an ear for the rice on the hearth; she turned up to the kitchen in a haste, just to see the rice being done by me and the vessel being placed on the side shelf. She yelled and screamed at me, ‘Why did you do so, it’s so risky, God forbid, if any untoward incident would have taken place.’ She was cold as ice and shivered.

But I smiled within myself, ‘Oh! No matter what, but I have done it, at least a small helping hand to my mother.’ In a short span of time, she calmed down and said in a mild pitch of a voice, ‘Child, it’s always good to be helpful, I appreciate your gesture, but it is simply playing with fire at your age, so never venture into such things. I would always love your helping hand but first grow your hands big enough to help me. Today your hands are too small to help; had anything perverse taken place, I would have never forgiven myself. So for my sake, for your sake, never do anything that is big enough for your little hands.’ My education had started, at a tiny age of three, I was walking strong beside her; she was no more alone, though my hands were small, I was blessed with a big heart and could feel her bugs and botheration towards the family.

My childhood has been a huge learning experience as I happened to be a sensitive soul, in my tiny head, I thought, ‘My mother was no less than Mother Teresa of my family and society. What Mother Teresa has done for the underprivileged, my mother stood for her family. Her compassion for others and generosity were at par, and the only slogan that I remember today is, Charity begins at home! Her house was a temple, where all relations and relatives were warmly welcomed and supported. She earned, bolstered, and boosted an extensively extended family.’

I was in my stream of consciousness and could not see the watch. It was since an hour, I was simply floating and swimming in my ocean of thoughts, diving too deep to really come out but time was rolling, it has been too late for a cup of tea. I forced myself out of my nostalgia, ‘Oh! It was eight,’ I gathered myself, making my way to the kitchen, to make a cup of green tea.

‘Tea, I never had tea or coffee until my adulthood’—simply a flash of memory. The story goes, ‘When I was four months old, my uncle made me drink a cup of boiling tea and my mouth got sizzled and it became a cautionary tale of warning for me throughout my life. I smiled simply at my childishness, as to how innocent children are born and eventually grow until and unless they are not indoctrinated by the family, society, and the world as a whole. As I made a cup of tea, it proved to be more like a kind gesture towards myself; it was the need of the moment. Taking the sip of my well-made beverage, slowly I dragged myself onto my red couch. I murmured, Tea is the best balm for fatigue, I might feel better.’ Once again, my thought flow had taken a reverse gear and I moved into my childhood remembering my mother.

When I was on my legs, my mother took me and brother for a daily breath of fresh air, a morning stroll, and while we walked hand in hand, for an hour, she imparted day-to-day beautiful stories through which we were made to learn the wisdom of life. This had not been a routine affair, but whenever she bargained time from her work, heart, and home for us.

For me, her wisdom was more profound than any fictitious story, what I really learned from her association were the worldly values and the practical lessons that are still placed deep into my heart and soul. On the contrary, I believe anecdotes and parables do not have a long life, because it is channelled through the mind and not the heart. Our struggles, experiences, and worldly knowhows make a perpetual place in our heart—this has been my worldliness and perception about life.

I will share with you a true story Mother narrated to us about one of her colleagues. It was an enchanting love story to the heart. I do remember—

We were like close-knit family, thus we often visited each other. My first brush with the lady in question was in a get-together fashioned by them. Till then, I did know her through her stories; this true tale had become part and parcel of society gossip. As we hit the party, Aunty looked enthusiastic and introduced her better half to the guests like a proud peacock, ‘He is my soulmate.’ For a fraction of a second, I was speechless and inquisitive to know the meaning of the word soulmate. Uncle, who had been unfortunately a leper, was acquiescently hanging out with one and all, sharing pleasantries and laughter. No matter how tender and immature I was at that time, the incident shook me from my root, sowing the ever-growing seed of love which eventually flowered within me. Today, I understand their love as soul connection, an honour of God; it had the depth of the ocean, the height of skies, the heat of fire, and the whole beauty of nature. Yes! Their love had no logic and did speak from the irrational wisdom of the soul. It has been truly said, ‘Only with the heart one can see things rightly’ and ‘Love is blind only to the eyes; the heart can perceive things clearly.’ I am expounding this beautiful true tale of amazing love.

We believe it to be the gospel truth that we ought to be a prince or princess to be loved, but it’s not