Exposed Secrets

By April Nichols Baker

Thirty four year old Alexandria Marie Bell appears to have it all. She is beautiful and has started a highly successful law firm in Manhattan. The only thing missing is love. Finding a man is no problem. They are practically falling out of the sky. But she doesnt want just any man. She wants Maxwell Pennington but that can never happen. He loves control almost as much as she does. Plus he is a Senior Partner in her law firm. To top it off Alex has too many ugly dark secrets that must never come to light. If they were to cross that line she runs the risk of Max learning who she really is and he would leave her anyway. Its best to stay single and dream about the life that she will never have.
Maxwell Pennington is sexy and brilliant. He could charm the panties off any women with the exception of one. Alex Bell. She wants him. That is not a secret but what he cant figure out is why she is so determined to keep her distance. All he has to do is find a way to break through her walls. His luck with women has not always been the best. Partly due to his control issues and partly due to his choice of women. Alex is different though. She will not just allow him to control her and that is fine with him. Nothing turns him on more than a feisty woman. They would be perfect together. But there is more to Maxwell than meets the eye. He has secrets of his own.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 16, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496925671

April Nichols Baker

April Nichols Baker is a native of Georgetown, Ky. For a majority of her life she has worked in the health care field with people that have traumatic brain injuries (TBI) .She now works in a family medical practice. She has always loved reading books and writing her own stories in her head. She has finally put the pen to the paper and doing what she loves. When she is not writing she enjoys spending quality time with her friends and family. April has been married to the love of her life Neil for 16 years. They have three children. Happy & Blessed is what comes to mind when she thinks of her life.

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AuthorHouse™ LLC

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© 2014 April Nichols Baker. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/25/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-2568-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-2567-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014912246

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and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Alex

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Max

Chapter Six

Alex

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Max

Chapter Nine

Alex

Chapter Ten

Max

Chapter Eleven

Alex

Chapter Twelve

Max

Chapter Thirteen

Alex

Chapter Fourteen

Max

Chapter Fifteen

Alex

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Max

Chapter Eighteen

Alex

Chapter Nineteen

Max

Chapter Twenty

Alex

Chapter Twenty-One

Max

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Max

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Alex

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Max

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Alex

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Epilogue

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

Christie Gilkey- You have been with me from childhood to the present. I thank you for everything you have done for me. Your editing skills are brilliant. I Love you sis and I cannot even begin to thank you for everything you have done for me. Cheryl Sidney- You have been in my corner pushing me for over seven years to write a book. I finally did it. Thank you for the encouragement. You are golden and will always be loved. Misty Dawn-Thanks for all of those nights I picked up the phone to call you about the book. I rambled and you never hung up on me. Love Ya! Valery Gossey- You are my biggest fan or so that is what you tell me. I just want to thank you for telling me to go for it. I love you mom. Thanks for believing in me. Angel and George Nichols- My sister, my brother and my life. Thank you for always being there. I love you both more than anything. Beverly Townsend thanks for your time and your artistic ability. Love you. Monica Drane, Thank you not for only being my sissy, but for standing in the Gap for me! Love you. Neil Baker-Thank you for loving me and putting up with me. You never complained on those nights that I locked myself in our bedroom to write. Nalycia, Neil II and Nehya Momma loves you to the moon and back!!! (F.O.E)

A.Nichols Photography

Cover by: Angel Nichols

Edited by: Christie Couch- Gilkey

A Special Thank You to Sarah Lee

Thanks to all of my friends, family and fans. Twitter & Facebook!

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the people that go through hard times feeling as if they are alone. Just know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. To My Grandmother & Grandfather Gossey I owe you everything. You are truly the salt of this earth. I Love and Miss you both.

Prologue

To: [e-mail]

From: [e-mail]

Subject: My thoughts

Sent November 2 2012 at 2:23 AM

Dear Journal,

I had that dream again. Only it’s not a dream it’s my reality. Over the years they have become few and far between, but when I do have one it puts me in a bad place. Sometimes it’s over no sooner than I awake. Other times it takes me weeks to get it out of my system. Well that’s not entirely true. I will never truly be over it. There will be no normal life for me. NO happily ever after. That night my life changed forever. It ruined me. My innocence was stolen. Afterward, I allowed myself to fall head first into a life of destruction, and self-sabotage. As much as I hate to admit it, I blame myself. My daddy taught me better than to let my guard down in strange places, but as soon as I’m away from home his words are forgotten. I allowed myself to become a victim and now I’m a slave to that title.

This dream feels so real that I can almost feel his hands squeezing my breast and taste the beer on his tongue. I always feel dirty when I wake up. Just like all the times before I immediately hit the shower, trying my best to scald my skin in a futile attempt to erase the feeling that he is still touching me. Too bad those memories can’t be scrubbed from my mind. If that were possible then I would do it in a heartbeat. Maybe then I could actually have a normal relationship with the man that I dream about on the nights that these stupid nightmares don’t rule the night. Instead I have allowed my life to be ruled by fear and shame.

I am walking down a dark hallway at a random frat house right off campus. The music is loud causing my head to hurt even more. The hallway is never ending. How do I get out of here? I try door after door looking for my escape but there is none. My mind is telling me that I am in danger, somebody is following me. I can feel him breathing down my neck, but when I turn around he is gone. The voice in my head is telling me to run, but for some reason my feet will not move. I’m standing there waiting on the evil to find me. He can sense my hesitation and just like that my demon grabs me by my throat, and drags me back down that never ending hallway and into one of the bedrooms. He shuts the door and I try to scream but nothing will come out….

My life changed significantly seventeen years ago. There’s only one person that knows what I went through and I intend to keep it that way. He was there for me and I love him for that. Right after the worst day of my life he tried to kindle a romantic relationship with me, but the thought of it just brought back to many bad feelings. It was doomed before it ever began. Truly he would be the perfect mate, but he deserves somebody who can give him what he needs. It was so unfair to him but it is what it is. The fact that I’m not emotionally available and probably never will be, hurt him and I knew it. He has not been a part of my life in a very long time, but yet I still have him tucked away in a place that I reserve those who I call friend.

Chapter One

Alex

Criminal law is my passion. My reason for living. I’m good at my job and I know this. I don’t know where I would be without that purpose. My personal life on the other hand leaves little to be desired. There is no man to speak of. I’m damaged goods. I don’t trust men. The demons from my past won’t let me.

My confidence and passion in the courtroom are legendary. Or so I’m told. Too bad I can’t find my worth in my personal life. The physical beauty is there, I’ve never doubted that. I’ve been told how beautiful I am all my life. There is no doubt that I could get a man if I want one. Sometimes I allow myself to fanatisize about how life would be. I do get lonely but when it becomes overwhelming I just throw myself into my work. It keeps me grounded.

I’ve always had a hard time finding female friends. They all seem to think I’m after their men. Hell, even the ones I don’t knowt hold on to their husbands, like my whole reason for being is to steal away their man. Please! I don’t even want a man. Well that’s not entirely true. There is only one man that would even make me consider a relationship. The catch is, he’s off limits. So he will just have to continue to visit me in my dreams.

There are a couple old sayings about beauty. The first one is Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. People take the magnificence of nature for granted, and refuse to see the true splendor of the blooms on a Japanese Cherry Blossom tree, or the exquisiteness in the Smokey Mountains right after a fresh snowfall. There is true beauty in the way a man in love looks at his wife, like she is the only woman in the room or the way a mother looks at her newborn baby with true wonder and joy. All these things are raw and honest beauty. The saying that best fits me goes like this; Beauty is only skin deep. Yeah, that fits me to a T. Once you make it past the surface there is only ugliness and darkness. That wasn’t always the case but unfortunately, life’s unpredictable circumstances made me that way.

The bumps and the bruises have in some ways made me stronger. I had to learn to rely on me. If something needs to be done then it’s up to me to ensure that it happens. When a problem arises, I fix it. I refuse to be the damsel in distress, sitting around waiting on somebody to come to my rescue is not my thing. Regrettably, my weaknesses far outweigh my strengths. I’m incapable of love, trust and emotional honesty. Nobody will get close to me because I will not let them.

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Life has left a bitter taste in my mouth that only a bottle of wine, or a few shots of patron can strip away. Loneliness and sadness cover me even when I’m in a room full of people. In some ways it shields me from hurt and disappointment, so I cling to it. It’s a vicious cycle, if I let anybody close then they will know. They will be able to feel all the ugliness and eventually my darkness will consume them. They too will be held captive in my little piece of hell.

Many painful lessons were learned, and with that people had to be cut from my circle. My mother for one. Most of the bad shit that I have had to endure was at the hand of my own personal Mommy Dearest. While most women love and nurture their young, my mother loathed and disregarded me, as if I was nothing more than a piece of ugly unwanted furniture. She did have some love in her though. My brother and sister were treated with kindness and love. She fussed over them when they were sick and praised them in all things, even when it was undeserved. She also seemed to love my dad, although looking back I think she loved his money and what he could do for her. Showing him affection is how she was able to pull off the illusions that she felt anything for him at all.

On more than one occasion I caught her glaring at him with the same blatant contempt that she usually reserved for only me. Many nights were spent in my childhood home wondering what I did that cultivated such hate filled animosity. Hell I still wonder. There are no good memories from my childhood that pertain to my mother. Not even one.

I knew that somebody loved me. My Daddy made sure of that. There was never any doubt that he favored me above anything and anybody. Maybe that was the problem. She was jealous of the affection that he had for me. Or maybe he loved me extra special because she didn’t. It’s hard to tell the difference. I have decided to work on letting it all go. No longer will she be allowed to define me. My dad is the one light spot in the midst of the chaos that is my life. I have been through so much because of my so called mother but at the end of the day and in spite of it all, she must know that I may bend, but she will never break me. I’m just too damned stubborn to let her.

Because of my childhood, I crave control. It is everything to me. I crave it like a junkie craves that next high. Or like a sexually frustrated housewife craves the orgasm that her husband can never manage to give her. Come to think of it, an orgasm would be great right now and not one that B.O.B is responsible for. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to just feel the hard length of a man pressing his erection into my core. To have him just take control and let me live in the moment. He could take me to the edge over and over again, and I could just enjoy sexual bliss and then watch as he grits his teeth, fighting to hold onto his control. Just so he could make me come one more time. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything other than the way he makes me feel. That is a fantasy though, giving up that type of control could lead to places that I’m not able to go. Nothing but hurt would follow. It’s best that I remain alone.

There is no reason to pull any man down into the depths of emotional despair with me. No need to make somebody hurt just because I hurt. I don’t mean to be hateful, but I don’t know how to change, that’s all I’ve known. Being in control is a vice I use to keep others at bay. I will not allow anyone else to have the power to destroy me the way she did. No. Control is my only weapon and I will be damned if I willingly hand it over to any man.

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That way of thinking led me to the life I live now. After graduation I busted my ass to get ahead. Long days and nights were spent at the law firm. I was lucky enough to be hired on at the same firm that I interned at. Some nights I wouldn’t even go home. The private shower in my boss’s office was used often. Come to think of it, permission was never granted but I suspect that he knew. He gave me a pass because half the time he was the beneficiary of all my efforts. I won cases and still they did not see my worth. Or they did and just refused to promote me. Not to toot my own horn but I was fucking good at my job. I graduated from college third in my class, and still couldn’t make partner?? All this and yet I stayed, hoping that things would change.

They always say be careful what you wish for. Things changed alright. One day I walked into the firm and to my surprise the office slut was promoted to Jr. Partner. She had only been there two years to my four and likewise only carried about half the workload. Making matters even worse she was everything I was not. She was all bottle blond to my jet black, blue eyes to my hazel. Her 5’11 towered over my 5’4. She was built just like the men at my firm liked them. Tall and skinny everywhere except for the tits. That was the only thing we had in common, we were both well-endowed. The similarities ended there. I’m curvy and actually have an ass. The good old boys at the firm probably think I’m fat because God forbid if a woman weighs over 110 pounds.

Anyway the day I walked in to the news that blondie got the promotion was the turning point. I’d had enough. Right then and there the decision was made for me. My time there was up. Thank God my savings account had enough in it to hold me over. My days at Brockman Reynolds and Gaines were over. Ungrateful bastards.

I stood up from my desk and breathed in the moldy, dust filled air knowing full well that my days in the basement floor research room were over. I would never step foot in this place again. My best course of action was to hand in my two week notice, but I just couldn’t stomach the idea of spending any more time making these ingrates money.

The next few hours were spent typing up my resignation and gathering my things. Not that there was much to gather. This place never felt like home. I never had the sense that I belonged. Handing Mr. Gaines my letter of resignation was easier than expected.

He begged me not to go. Promises of the next promotion were made but the damage was done. Respect for the powers that be was no longer possible. Not for the first time in my life, I had no control over the situation. Leaving was my only option.

I took matters into my own hands and started my own firm. It was hard at first. I had to find a building, until then my efficiency apartment was home base. It wasn’t much to look at. But, most of my time was spent at the library, or on the phone with perspective clients. I had put my name out there by handing out business cards and word of mouth. All that was left to do was sit back and pray that all my efforts were not in vain.

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Not long after leaving the firm, calls from former clients began to come in. I had a reputation for being great at my job. They wanted me. For so long I had been their contact go to person so their relationship was with me, not the firm. My boss was virtually a stranger to them. Plus he was an alcoholic and everybody knew it. Who wanted a damn drunk representing them in the court of law. They wanted me. The clients understood my worth and realized that it was my blood, sweat and tears that kept them afloat. Those fuckers should have never let me go!

Business got so good that I hired another attorney. Maxwell Pennington. I had the pleasure of watching him spin his magic in court several times. If he was lucky enough to have a woman presiding over the case, then