Your Life of Poems

By Sean Michael McCarthy

My first book was mainly based around myself and my hardships and emotions and experiences and thoughts and the collection spans some 10 years.

This follow up book however, is written more for others and is a collection put together in 2016/17.

Inspiration was taken from world events, past and present, and from the loss of loved ones and friends suffering. I write to express the feelings others have trouble finding words for.

I hope you enjoy and that maybe the words help. Theres something for everyone and most subjects are covered if you take both collections.

I think I have exhausted my thoughts for now so plan to take a break and try my hand at writing a novel so keep your eye out.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jun 19, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524682491

Sean Michael McCarthy

Our Life of Poems is the third and final works of my trilogy. In memory of my Dad Michael Frederick McCarthy and his big sister Shelagh Barnard, [McCarthy], of Merthyr Tydfil, [originally Beech Terrace kids]. I miss you Dad x If you missed my first two books, [My Life of Poems and Your Life of Poems], I have added a few examples from each book so you can maybe see how my style has developed, [for better or worse depending on your own taste]. I hope you enjoy and maybe find comfort as I know others already have and thank you all who have supported me and encouraged my writing these past few years. Next is my novel, too long on the back burner.

Book preview

161. Horrors seen have I

My dread prevails in lingered thoughts,

the horrors seen have I.

Still beats my heart, my broken soul,

so many friends seen die.

Nought left have I to recognise,

discard the lay of you.

The drowning blood of stifled sob,

why must these things, we do.

My scrambled mind that makes no sense,

such horrors that me scar.

My glaze tear eyes in focus not,

thousand yards, my look, so far.

In grasped aghast at things seen done,

such wanton Reapers sweep.

I fear my soul will endless taunt,

nightmare dreams, forever, keep.

The run return in endless loop,

hands full in overflow.

My rescue fails amass so grand,

lost hearts slip stopped, from slow.

How can we churn so many dreams,

our ruin of fellow man.

How steams the husks of once alive,

lost race of also ran.

My boots stained red by crimson drops,

smeared prints of fingers grasped.

Eyes locked in last of realize,

final breath that you, shall gasp.

Each return in hope forlorn,

whispered words in silent prayer.

Promised you to get you home,

my burden now, to bare.

Medic screamed so orderly,

man down again so soon.

My heart weighed full of woeful loss,

this day, not yet, reached noon.

Piled high a heap of bloody boots,

stacked tall the wooden cross.

A line lay out of blanket shrouds,

to tally count this cost.

Still beats my heart, my broken soul,

so many friends seen die.

My dread prevails in lingered thoughts,

the horrors seen have I.

160. Think of you my friend

17626551_10155173505729993_2502989852662500162_n.jpg

Today I took a moment,

to think of you my friend.

My hugs and words are not enough,

they’re all I have to send.

To lose a something precious,

in two comes tear to heart.

For you it was your shine to life,

what words, and where to start.

How fast this time in passage,

for me a quick ten years.

Each day, for you, eternity,

with thoughts all drowned in tears.

Was heaven short of Angels,

tales of fairies, had no end.

Lost planets floating dark night skies,

needed light,of soul, to send.

Did God peruse his many choice,

decide to pick the best.

With gentle hands come lift your heart,

your Lauren passed his test.

His Angels needed wonder,

the cherubs, new delight.

That peace reward to soul so brave

deemed time, to end, the fight.

Our hearts stopped slow by devastate,

all rhythms lost the beat.

How now our stares to daydreams lost,

this game, of life, feels cheat.

Dear Janine, my friend so brave,

what battles you have had.

None so great as those this day,

that come, and leaves, such sad.

Please stop and take one moment,

let glisten tear to eye.

Look up and feel the extra shine,

to brightness, star, float by.

That gentle wind that cools you,

the sway of hair from view

Lauren sends such gentle touch,

hey Mum, I’m here, love you.

Let shudder you your sadness,

let drift to breeze your mourn.

The end has come as no such thing,

your child, the stars, reborn.

My hugs and words are not enough,

they’re all I have to send.

Today I took a moment,

to think of you my friend.

159. Haunts frequent

Why must your haunts frequent my life,

each time my eyes are closed.

The shadow of your spirit walk,

leaves heart,so hurt, exposed.

I pass each day in use to be,

the places we once went.

Hear echoes of your distant laugh,

our many, moments, spent.

My souls refuse to grasp the truth,

all dreams that trick my mind.

Whole worlds of sleep stood next to you,

awake, to cannot, find.

My jigsaw piece so incomplete,

the blue sky border lost.

Time they say, can heal all wounds,

heavy weighs, the painful, cost.

These gaping holes you’ve left behind,

what hopes have we to fill.

Reaper cares no consequence,

swallows all, his bitter, pill.

Why must your haunts frequent my life,

each time my eyes are closed.

The shadow of your spirit walk,

leaves heart, so hurt, exposed.

Come moments of my waking self,

the precious seconds few.

My heart plays tricks of have you near,

my hands, reach out, for you.

Fingers grasp their reach through dark,

cool breeze of floats the air.

Thumps heavy heart of realize,

all dreams, you’re gone, not there.

Up well the eyes in tearful moist,

slow trails in salt to cheek.

In silent hug to pillow sob,

your name, I anguish, speak.

These days that pass to weekly months,

so long stretch out the years.

To lose your haunt within my heart,

brings drown, to soul, of fears.

Why must your haunts frequent my life,

each time my eyes are closed.

The shadow of your spirit walk,

leaves heart, so hurt, exposed.

158. So, to me, it seems

Who is this person by my side,

which walks with me through dreams.

Such comfort ease of someone known,

or so, to me, it seems.

My drifted haunt of once walked hills,

through fields of childhood days.

Who claims this spirit in tag along,

that edge of vision stays.

Are you ghosts of loves first loss,

or make believe I’ve thrown.

The shadow of your presence shades,

dream worlds, of wonders, shown.

Again I climb the hill aged ten,

the lonely boy, the fool.

The taunts, the tease and trip me ups,

the ginger kid, new school.

Yet fade of dreams in recollect,

such glow of wonders gold.

Beside of me your Angels guard,

the yearn, times lost, behold.

Quick fade to view, my young first kiss,

the mist of dreams reveal.

The walk along with holding hands,

soft lips, of Tracey, steal.

Fast forward blurs the rewind clock,

to Christmas’s long passed.

The creep downstairs for joyous peeks,

see all, from Santa, asked.

Sometimes the shadows that I explore

seem lost, no place, not known.

The trepidation, speeds beat of heart,

the shivers, ache, to bone.

Yet fingers curl my hand held tight,

all slips to fear are saved.

Who is this guide, such reassure,

my soul, my spirit, braved.

I love to drift my worlds once lived,

see friends again long lost.

Such adventures played in summer days,

through winters snow and frost.

Each walk along, down memory lane,

seems sad, submerge of heart.

How missed, the gone, the happy times,

so few, and far, apart.

But tears, if they should dwell remorse,

your lead to brighter skies.

How quick you take my hand to bring,

the laughter back to eyes.

I live again that snowball fight,

like Tarzan, swing from trees.

Rough the tumbled fun with friends,

all trousers, ripped, at knees.

Whole days spent down amongst the woods,

here’s Howard, there’s Michelle.

Our Zorro wars with wooden sticks,

about, with laughter, fell.

Sometimes my dreams fill serious,

a search for something, lost.

A part of me, in fall away,

what consequence the cost.

Was I aged ten or maybe twelve,

misplaced my make believe.

How could I, all magic drop,

walk away, behind me, leave.

This waking world so subjugate,

how stifles it all dreams.

The pay the man dictates of life,

such evil plots and schemes.

No wonder how we run for free,

in sleep desire escape.

The world we walk with open eyes,

so full of pillage, rape.

So slips my soul with welcome ease,

to days of gone before.

Mountains climbed with Wesley, John,

such depths, did we, explore.

Yet each and every journey take,

my edge of vision blurs.

Who is this constant guide of mine,

each trip of mine, chauffeurs.

The comfort arm, such steadfast grip,

my reinforce of nerve.

What for the join in tag along,

my wonders you observe.

Do you note the perfect days,

my hearts desire lined.

Are you here to help the search,

for magic lost, help find.

Are you faith or guiding light,

thrown down by God above.

Why do we dream these ghostly haunts,

people, places, love.

Are worlds awake all purgatory,

and dreams just paradise.

Do Angels shadow steps we take,

our souls, to catch, entice.

To see the smiles of those gone lost,

hear laughter in their voice.

I walk the halls of once before,

in dream, we meet, rejoice.

Such comfort ease of someone known,

or so, to me, it seems.

Who is this person by my side,

that walks with me through dreams.

157. How

How time free falls the ever near,

gone fast the fun filled days.

How soon comes I in stand alone,

no child, beneath, my gaze.

How cruel this world does separate,

brief joined to tear apart.

How now numbed in lost for words,

this drowned, by loss, this heart.

How can I, not turn, look back,

such sadness in your cries.

How hard to take that step away,

a piece of me, it dies.

How can you still love this Dad,

who leaves you all alone.

How can I, break change the rules,

make up, amend, atone.

How can Fathers, leave their sons,

abandon, little girls.

How can life, with wonders got,

such cruelty, at me, hurls.

How can I, make you see,

hear and understand.

How hard my love has stuck to you,

my heart, is in, your hand.

How soon comes I in stand alone,

no child beneath my gaze.

How time free falls, the ever near,

gone fast, the fun, filled days.

156. Taken they, the chance

Who could have made so many great,

had taken they, the chance.

Filled the days with pure content,

beneath the stars in dance.

How now the sad do stand with tears,

abandoned, void, alone.

Hindsight shows with torture cruel,

what happy chance was thrown.

The once up high on pedestal,

not seen beneath worlds gaze.

The long for lost forgotten dreams,

the spurn of perfect days.

The settled not for what was right,

a lust for greener grass.

The greed for thoughts of I deserve,

what destiny did pass.

That constant search for things of wrong,

ignore the floods so right.

Who hears the flow of silent tears,

the drown alone each night.

What turns the heads of given all,

contents of heart destroyed.

How moments quite now daydream drift,

life then, was so, enjoyed.

How jigsaw piece of perfect fit,

so quickly loses shape.

Creeps niggled doubt in dowse of flame,

desires stripped, by Devils, rape.

Don’t stop, don’t think, don’t analyze,

don’t cause such smooth to crack.

For those that do will heart repent,

alone, along, the track.

The perfect love, so rare in life,

two souls in game, set, match.

Keep close an eye, for hearts can fall,

drop not, your win, your catch.

See those that mourn the music’s end,

forgotten how to dance.

Who could have made so many great,

had taken they, the chance.

155. Catch of eye to dare

The stand so lost in all alone,

no catch of eye to dare.

Pretend distract of touch screen phone,

eyes closed, to sunshine’s, glare.

Seats all full, no standing room,

such squash of side by side.

The desperate long to get their soon,

this awkward, social, ride.

The glared disdain to words of greet,

don’t talk to me you freak.

Old worldly manners of offered seat,

lost kindness, we secret, seek.

So packed in silent, tension, strain,

what world controls each mind.

The thrown together, commute by train,

false fears, that cloud, each mind.

Women, children, old and young,

business men in suits.

Down and outs beg coppers flung,

a busker, playing flutes.

School kids standing, nothing, noughts,

entrapped by screens on phone.

The gadgets used to banish thoughts,

and shadows of alone.

Excuse me Sir, excuse me please,

you stand upon my toe.

The look of blank, as me he frees,

with dirty look, in throw.

Whose people are these empty shells,

are they loved or even liked.

Such purgatory of living hells,

mean hearts, so bristled, spiked.

This world turned mean by dog eats dog,

all kindness tarnished weak.

Our dreams fade lost in misted fog,

too scared of fears to speak.

A smile when offered to looks my way,

my reassure appease.

Such looks of shock, no words to say,

a face, in terror, freeze.

How you can in this travelled crowd,

sit scared and all alone.

I feel such urge to scream aloud,

to you, awake, be thrown.

Do hearts like mine, all scream in pain,

my voice, it’s mute, want rid.

Reach out the yearn to talk again,

share thought, and dreams, amid.

Put smiles across those furrowed brows,

lift ease all shouldered weight.

Fill silent voids with gasps and wows,

disperse the fears we hate.

The stand so lost in all alone,

no catch of eye to dare.

Take friendly seed and see it sown,

as words, in greet, we share.

154. In silent troop

How we marched our dark resolve,

in shadows walk of death.

In silent troop for Reapers den,

how fear, does quite, each breath.

Such heavy trudge the tired to limb,

with sadness beat to heart.

Forlorn the look of snatches back,

how longed, the rewind, start.

Take me home, come rescue me,

so tired of tears I cry.

Each moments rest, comes eye to close,

the haunts, of friends, seen die.

The endless snake through no mans land,

this serpent of lost souls.

No dare to dream or wishful hope,

cast off, discarded, goals.

How dark resides in spirits fade,

the know of what to come.

The screams of men for pity me,

slow fade of life from sun.

How walk do we in single file,

through footsteps of before.

Beside the way, the shattered limbs,

once men, now gone, no more.

In silent troop for Reapers den,

how fear, does quite, each breath.

How we marched our dark resolve,

in shadows walk of death.

153. Heart in devastate

How breaks the heart in devastate,

such shatter to the world.

The mind so blank and lost for words,

to abyss, my soul, is hurled.

The take away of oh so pure,

how cruel this life of ours.

Another Angel took too soon,

now floats, amongst, the stars.

No words have I in cannot say,

what comfort scant, ignored.

My sorrow bleeds in empathy,

my tears, for loss, now poured.

These nightmares wished to be not true,