Ex-Girlfriends

By LeRoy Charles Brown

Ex-Girlfriends, although not the first book written by LeRoy, is a labor of love for him. It holds a special place in his heart and tells a story that may seem so familiar to so many. It tells the story of a boy who became a man but could never stop playing boyish games until the games became reality and that reality became his life. What would you do if every woman you ever dated began to die one at a time? Even worse, the one thing they all have in common is that they all dated you! When his relationships end, they are really over!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781479782383

LeRoy Charles Brown

Biography LeRoy Brown (LeRoy Charles Brown, Jr.) Author Born 10/28/59 Birthplace: Bronx, New York LeRoy Brown wrote his first story at the tender age of eleven. It was a submission for a contest being held by Reader’s Digest when he was in grade school. His story won the contest, and from that day on LeRoy considered himself a writer. Throughout his life, LeRoy always wrote poetry, stories, etc., but everything he wrote, including letters, memos, and reports written for his employers in the business world, he considered literary works. A document that would take him thirty minutes to write, he would spend days, sometimes weeks, reviewing, changing, and perfecting. It is this commitment to excellence that has given him the ability to tell his stories in a way that the reader sees it through his eyes.

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Copyright © 2013 by LeRoy Charles Brown.

ISBN:          Softcover          978-1-4797-8237-6

                     Ebook              978-1-4797-8238-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 1

IT WAS A very hot day when Rel walked out of the front door and down the long steps of the Bronx County Supreme Court building. The heat was very noticeable because he had not felt the sun for quite sometime, and it felt good to feel it shining on his face. The fact that he was walking out of the building at all was a miracle. He never believed that the circumstances surrounding his being there was enough to alter his life. But he also knew that anything was possible in the kangaroo court that had become the New York City justice system.

The irony of it all was that after all this time there were only three people standing outside waiting to meet him when he was released from the Supreme Court building that day. They were his cousin Nancy, his partner EJ, and his girl Kelly. No reporters, no cameras, no protestors, no cops, just the normal street scene in front of the court building on a Monday morning. This seemed to Rel surreal in light of all the attention that had been paid to his possible release over the past few months and the circumstances that led to his being there. His arrest and the subsequent trial could be described as nothing less than a three-ring circus of reporters, policemen, angry friends and family, and curious onlookers. Funny how life changes from day to day, and boy did Rel’s life undergo a major change.

I guess if you really wanted to pinpoint how it all began you would have to start with Robin. Rel met Robin strictly by chance. He had been playing basketball all day and was tired, sweaty, and had begun to break out in heat rash as he was known to do. Now if you don’t know anything about heat rash, you have to get that salt and perspiration off of your skin as soon as possible. Failure to do so will result in a case of heat rash that will have your skin itching and cause a breakout of these tiny red bumps that burn and sting.

Well, this was what Rel was experiencing when he met Robin for the first time. He had just left Forty Four Park and was on his way home. Rel was walking down Marmion Avenue at the point where it intersected with Elsmere Street when he saw this light-skinned red bone with light brown hair and light brown eyes. He remembered thinking that she was the finest honey he had seen all summer, but he was itching too bad to even think about stopping to talk to her. As he passed by her, he got this terrible stinging itching feeling on his back that he was trying to reach but could not. Oooh, he said as the stinging sensation ran down his back and caused a chill. Robin stopped in her tracks, looked at him, and said, That is so rude! Whatever happened to hello or good afternoon or how are you? ‘Oooh’? Is that your idea of a greeting? You jerk! she shouted as she turned and walked away. I wasn’t even talking to you, Rel said as he started to run toward his apartment building.

Robin never stopped or turned back but she heard what he said. She thought to herself, Well, if he wasn’t talking to me then what was that ‘oooh’ about? Rel did not stop or turn back either. He needed to get to the shower in the worst way and he was not going to let some stuck-up chick get in the way of that. As he reached his building the usual suspects were out in front hanging out. What up, Rel? everyone said. What up y’all? Can’t talk, gotta run. What, you got the trots? Mo asked. Mo was his boy who lived across the street. They had been playing ball together earlier, but Mo left early as he usually did so he could be the first one to hit the block and tell stories about what he did on the court. Yo, this nigga got the runs, Mo cracked as everybody started laughing. Whatever, Rel said as he jumped on the elevator up to the fourth floor where he lived. As he reached the fourth floor and the elevator door opened, he was fumbling with his keys and ringing the doorbell at the same time. No one was answering and he was trying to open the door with the key. You could see the pain on his face. Just then the door next to his opened and Shawna came out. What up, Rel? she said. Rel did not answer. He was too busy trying to scratch his back and open the door at the same time. Shawna started laughing. Heat rash? she asked as she proceeded to gently scratch his back with the palm of her hand. Shawna had seen this before and knew that she could not use her nails or it would make matters worse.

She took the keys from him, opened the door, and continued to scratch his back as she unlocked the door. Once inside, Rel rubbed his back against the wall while Shawna set up the shower. Shawna lived up the block around the corner, but she was crazy about Rel and would do anything for him. That was the reason she became such good friends with Dina and Katy, who lived next door to Rel. It was also part of the reason why she remained best friends with Mary, who lived across the street. Mary was Rel’s girl and Shawna knew that in order to be friends with Rel she had to be friends with Mary.

It’s ready, Shawna yelled and Rel came running into the bathroom. He was itching so bad at this point, he started to get undressed before he closed the door. Shawna was surprised and stood there watching as Rel took off his clothes. Rel realized what was going on, and he slammed the door in her face. You don’t have to be rude, Rel, Shawna said, you are the one who left the door open. By now Rel was in the shower and was vigorously scrubbing the salt off his skin. The water caused a stinging sensation, but anything was better than the itching and burning he was experiencing. Shawna sat looking out the window while she waited for Rel to come out of the bathroom. She saw Mary come out of her building and begin to cross the street. She watched as Mary stopped to talk to Mo, probably asking where Rel was. As Mary entered the building, Shawna turned to the bathroom door and said, Yo, Rel, I’m leaving. See you later, okay? Okay thanks, Shawna, Rel said. No problem, Shawna replied. Rel heard the door close and turned off the water. Shawna went back over to Katy and Dina’s apartment and was inside looking through the peephole before Mary reached Rel’s door. Rel was done showering and was toweling off when he heard a knock on the door. Come in, he said as he stepped out of the bathroom. He was expecting Shawna but instead it was Mary. Rel was surprised and you could hear it in his voice and see it on his face. Hey, Mary, what’s good? Why you look so surprised, Rel? You expecting someone else? You got some other chick up in here? Stop bugging. Ain’t no chick up in here. Check the place if you don’t believe me. I think I will, Mary said. She started walking around the apartment, looking in every room. She was checking closets, looking under beds. Rel, meanwhile, got dressed. He had put on everything except his sneakers when he heard the familiar squeak of his mom’s bedroom door. Yo, Mary, he yelled, you know you playing yourself. Naw, Mary said. I know you got some trick up here and I’m going to find her. Yeah, all right, Rel said, but I’m telling my mom you were in her bedroom. Right then. Mary stopped in her tracks and shut the door. Rel’s mom did not play, and she did not like any of the girls Rel had ever been with except for Mary. Mary had put in a lot of work kissing Rel’s mom’s ass, and she was not about to let it all go down the tubes. Stop playing, Mary said. You know your mom loves me. Yeah, but not after I tell her you were over here when she wasn’t home and was snooping around in her bedroom. You better not tell her that, Mary said. I’ll kill you if you ruin my relationship with your mom. How are we going to get married if your mom hates me? Married? Where is that coming from? Rel asked. We just finished high school not long ago. We are both still in college, still living with our parents, and you talking marriage. Slow your roll, girlfriend. Here we go, Mary replied. Rel, we been together since I was twelve and you were thirteen. I know you creep and you probably hittin’ your friend next door behind my back, but I love you and I tolerate the nonsense because I believe one day we will be together. Really, Rel said. Well, what about your girl Shawna? You never accuse me of hittin’ that. Hell no! Mary said. Because Shawna’s my girl and she would never violate like that. She keeps tabs on you for me and tells me everything you do and say. I knew she was a spy, Rel said. That’s why I don’t say shit around your girl. Yeah well, I still want to be with you, so yeah, I’m talking marriage, Mary said. Wow, Rel said, I’m hittin’ my friend next door, you just finished searching my home because you don’t trust me, but you want to marry me? That’s bananas. Besides, I see Shawna way more than I ever see Katy or Dina.

That was Mary, always pressing Rel about other girls. She had been Rel’s girl since they were twelve or thirteen years old, but as she said, Rel creeped! Let’s see, there was Yolanda, Loretta, Gwen, Barbara, and last but not least Dawn, and those were the ones that either Mary or Shawna knew of. Now don’t get it twisted. No way Mary knew about all of these girls. She knew about Barbara because she lived right around the corner. Word got back to her that Rel was seen coming and going from her house on the late night, so she put two and two together and he did not deny it. At the time, Mary wasn’t putting out, so Rel used that as his excuse. After that, though, she started giving up the rhythm, so he had no excuses, which meant it all had to be on the low.

The situation with Barbara was easy though. It was convenient and uncomplicated because Barbara had a man. It didn’t matter that it was someone he knew, a cat named Bobby who everyone suspected was gay. But you know he was one of the boys and he hung with the crew, played ball, could throw down and the whole nine, so no one even questioned it. It all started innocently. Rel stopped by one day looking for Tony, Barbara’s brother, and Barbara answered the door. She was wearing cutoff jean shorts and a tank top with no bra. She was looking real hot and said she was home alone because her brother Tony, who was supposed to be there, had gone to the store. Barbara asked Rel if he wanted to come in and wait and he said yes. She headed to the back of the apartment to her room and Rel followed her. By the time he reached her room, she was sprawled on the bed reading from a textbook. What you up to? Rel asked. Studying for school, you know I’m a genius, Barbara said. Yeah, Rel said, you are very smart when it comes to school, but you’re not that smart when it comes to relationships. If your man finds out I was up in here alone with you we got problems, and I will have to put in some work on money ’cuz he already thinks he is some kind of thug. He doesn’t own me, Barbara said. Besides, he don’t even trip like that ’cuz he knows I will kick him straight to the curb! Yeah okay, that’s what you girls always say, but when it comes right down to it, it’s the same old same.

They continued in conversation for a few minutes and then ended up making out on the bed until Tony and Bobby showed up. Rel left with Tony and Bobby and no one ever knew what had transpired. After that day, Rel slid by there every once and a while just to break it off, but it was never anything serious. Barbara considered herself Rel’s girl but it was never a public thing. It was private, real private. Barbara’s sisters and brother eventually found out, but no one else knew. At parties, cookouts, and other functions, Barbara was with Bobby and Rel was dolo. You see, Mary’s people were real religious, you know, to the point where it was cultlike, and so she didn’t have the opportunity to get out and hang at the social functions that often. The few times she did, she would always go buck wild and get drunk and make a fool of herself, which would have her on lock for months, sometimes a year at a time. The relationship Rel had with Barbara was real cool. They respected each other, talked on the phone regularly, and every other week Rel would slide by and handle business, so it was all good.

Barbara and Mary had already had their confrontation. Mary stepped to her one day in the middle of the block when everyone was out straight on some. I know you fucking my man. But the nana can’t be any good, though, because every time he leaves your house, he comes straight to mine to get some. Obviously your shit is tired. Barbara played it right, though. She was like, Mary, you trippin’. Me and Rel are just friends because he hangs with my brother Tony. You see me all the time with my man Bobby and Bobby and Rel are cool. You’re being real disrespectful insinuating that your man would violate like that. That’s what Rel loved about Barbara, she was always airtight with hers and you could never catch her sleeping. Sometimes she would holla at Rel and say, Bobby’s tripping, so don’t come around for a while. Then a few weeks later she would call and say, Come through and hit me with that rhythm stick. She was straight up with no BS at all.

By the time Mary and Rel finished their discussion about marriage and all the other drama Mary constantly brought, there was just enough time for Rel to put in work before his mom got home. His mom worked at the hospital, so she was on a regular shift. It wasn’t like she could just leave and come home early or anything. He knew she worked from 3:00 p.m. to midnight and would be home by 12:30 a.m. It was 9:00 p.m. now, so he had just enough time to hit it, shower, and be in bed before mom came home. The only thing he ever had to worry about was the fact that Mary lived right across the street, and anytime she came into his building everyone knew, including her mom. If Mary was in that apartment for more than thirty minutes, Mary’s sister Jane would be ringing the doorbell. This meant only one of two things: either all was dead because Jane was blocking or he had to pay her to chill until they were done so Mary’s mom would think she was blocking. Every once in a while Rel could rent a good movie and get Jane to sit still and watch it for an hour and a half so he could handle business, but that did not work very often. Tonight it was going to cost him ten dollars and he was prepared to pay. Mary had on a tight top and a little denim skirt with high heels, and she was looking real hot. She was wearing his favorite perfume and wore her hair out. Whenever she came over dressed up like that it was because she was ready. I mean, she was not only horny, but as also in the twelve-day safe zone of her cycle, so he could handle business with no worries. They had been using the rhythm method for several months and it was working out just fine.

An hour and a half went by and Jane was pounding on the door, Come on, Mary, I want to catch the store before it gets too late and Ma won’t let me go. Mary and Rel were ignoring her until she started to threaten to leave, at which point Mary said, I better go. Okay, Rel said. Am I going to see you tomorrow? You know you can see me whenever you want. That is not the point. Which one of your hookers you hooking up with tomorrow? Here we go, Rel said. I’m a holla at you tomorrow because I cannot do this tonight. Here we just had a great time and you want to mess it up with drama. You are the biggest drama queen I have ever known. Yeah okay, whatever, Mary replied. Hey, yo, Mary, Rel said. Go get your sister for a minute. For what? Mary said. I need to ask her something. So Mary went and got Jane and brought her in the room. As soon as she came in she said, Rel, why the bed all messed up? What were y’all doing? What you talking about, Jane? We ain’t been doing anything. Yeah right, I’m telling my mother that you and Mary were up here doing the nasty. What? Rel said. Stop trippin’. We don’t do those things. We are waiting until we get married. Yeah right, Jane said. I’m telling. Rel was like, Okay, how much you want? I don’t want any money from you. You already gave me $10. I want something else. At this point Mary was getting irritated. Jane, I’m going to slap you if you don’t stop the nonsense. Go wait in the hall. No, Jane said, and if you put your hands on me I’m telling Mommy everything, about all the times I’ve waited in the hall while you two were in here having sex. You think I don’t know what’s going on? Shut up, Mary, Rel said. Let me handle this. What you want, Jane? Let me whisper it in your ear, Jane said. Okay, Rel replied. Rel had this shocked look on his face but quickly downplayed it. He said, Okay, Jane, wait out in the hall for a minute. Jane left the room. Now Jane was only thirteen years old at the time, so this was a difficult situation for Rel to deal with. What she want, Rel? Mary asked. Listen, I’m going to tell you this, but you can’t let her know you know and you are going to have to go along with this. What is it? Mary said. Just tell me. Okay, but don’t trip! I won’t, I promise, Mary said. Well, Rel said, she said she has never seen a man’s penis before and she wants me to show her mine. What? Oh hell no, Mary said, that’s out. I am not going to have you perverting my little sister. What other choice do we have? You know she will go tell your mother and you will be in prison for the next who-knows-how-long and then you will be trippin’ about who I’m sleeping with and the whole nine. She just wants to see it. I’ll show it to her real quick. She will freak out and run out of the room and then we are in the clear. Besides, after that, if she ever threatens to tell on us again, we can use this against her. You have to stop trippin’ for a minute and understand the benefit of this situation."

Mary was heated at this point. She could not believe that Rel was even considering this, but even worse, that her thirteen-year-old sister was finally interested in boys and the first guy’s thing she wanted to see was Mary’s boyfriend’s. Fine, Mary said, but if you are in there for more than two minutes I am going to come busting in that door. Rel laughed, What do you think is going to happen? At my age I’m going to be messing with your thirteen-year-old sister? Jane? They both laughed. Yeah okay, when you put it that way. Yo, Mary, Rel said. Play it off, okay? She does not want you to know. Okay, just hurry up. Mary left the room and told Jane, I don’t know what you two are up to but it better not involve me. I will be waiting for you in the hallway. You got two minutes and then I’m coming to get you. Jane looked at Mary in disbelief. She could not believe they were going along with it, but she was glad they were. This was the best possible introduction to the male genitalia that she could have because it was her sister’s boyfriend, so nothing could go wrong. Jane went in the room and shut the door. She waited until she heard the front door close and then she turned to Rel and asked, Did you tell her? No, Rel said, are you crazy? Do you think she would have left you in here with me if she knew? Okay, Jane said. Well, you better hurry up because she said she is coming back in two minutes. Well? Let me see. Rel never thought he would be nervous but he was. He wasn’t even hard because this was so weird. He unzipped his pants and Jane moved closer. Little did she know that after Mary left the room, Rel took a fake one he got from the sex shop and stuffed it in his pants. It was huge, about twelve inches long. It was about his complexion, so it would pass for real. He said, You better come closer because it is going to be quick, and if you miss it I’m only doing it once. Jane came closer, and when she was about two feet away, Rel slowly pulled it out and just let it point straight at her. Jane screamed, Oh my god, that thing is gigantic. You can’t possibly put that in my sister! And she ran out of the room screaming. By the time Mary came in the room, Rel was on the floor, laughing. Mary was like, What happened? Jane is in the hallway scared to death. Rel finally composed himself long enough to pull the fake one out of his pants and hand it to Mary. Mary started laughing hysterically. No, you didn’t, she said. Oh yes, I did, Rel replied. She will probably be scarred for life, Mary said. Yeah, but at least you won’t have to worry about her having sex with any boys anytime soon.

They laughed and joked for another five minutes while Jane waited in the hall. Then Rel had an idea. Why don’t you stay and braid my hair? Can’t, Mary said, got to go. Please? Jane is on smash right now. She is not going anywhere. Just have her come in and watch TV while you do it. No, I need to go talk to my little sister so she does not end up traumatized and become a nun or something. Okay. Well, I’m going to holla at Katy and have her come and take care of that for me. Yeah right, Mary said. That hoochie is not coming in this apartment tonight. It is only 10:45 p.m. and your mom is not coming home until after midnight, and that is just too much time for you to be alone with Katy. She is my girl and all that, but I do not trust her with my man. She always wears those tight tops showing off those watermelons. I can’t compete with that. Mine are not even half the size. Let me use your phone. Mary picked up the phone and dialed. After a few rings, she spoke, Yo, Shawna. What’s good, girl? Yeah, I’m chillin’ with Rel, but listen, I got to run and he needs his hair braided. Look out for me, okay? He wants to have Katy do his hair, but you know what time it is.

Now Shawna and Katy were cool, but Shawna wasn’t really feeling Katy on the low. Just like Mary, Shawna was convinced that Katy was scheming on Rel, and she was not having it. Shawna knew Rel was creeping with Barbara, but she knew that he was chillin’ ever since the day that Mary confronted Barbara. So as far as everyone knew he was just dealing with Mary. Shawna’s attitude was if anybody was going to get with Rel besides Mary it was going to be her. I feel you, Shawna said. I got you, girl, and you know your man is safe with me. I know that’s right, girl, that’s why I called, okay? And let me know if any of those thirsty tricks call while you’re here. I got you, girl, Shawna said. I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes. Now Shawna lived right up the block and around the corner, so fifteen minutes was not unrealistic.

Mary and Jane bounced, and Shawna was at the door in fifteen minutes just like she said. As usual she was wearing a tight little top and some tight jeans. Now don’t get it twisted. Shawna was holding. I mean, Mary was prettier than Shawna and had long, beautiful hair. But when it came to the body, Shawna was banging. She was packed and stacked and was cute. The only issue Rel had with Shawna was her hair should be longer, and he just was not feeling that at all. But recently she had gotten this real cool weave. Rel suspected it was mainly because she knew he wasn’t feeling the short hair.

Shawna never knocked when she was expected. She would just open the door and walk in. Rel was an only child whose father had passed when he was fifteen, so it was just him and his mom living there, and she knew his mom wasn’t home. When Rel heard the door, he shouted, Shawna, is that you? You know it, Shawna said. Who you thought it was? Katy? Oh, you got jokes, Rel said. Okay, but let me ask you something on the real. You be peeping in the bathroom while I’m naked, showering, and sliding by all the time when Mary is not around. As soon as you know Mary’s coming, you slide off. I never rat you out, but every little thing I do you tell her about it. What’s really good with that, Shawna? I thought we were tight and shit?"

Shawna hesitated for a minute, looking down at the floor. Rel