Nuts, Squirrels and Knotholes in the Family Tree

By Dan Steinbeck

Book Summary Nuts, Squirrels, and Knotholes in the Family Tree

Many families have funny stories, and poignant moments passed through generations. Often, these stories are lost, because they arent written down. Some details of the antecdotes in this book are permanently lost, as are an untold number of then humorous occasions.
For years, when family stories were told and retold with laughter, author Dan Steinbeck threatened to make them in a book. Some of the family - hopefully without regrets now encouraged him, and this is the result.
This book is a compilation of short and generally humorous stories, specifically of the David Steinbeck family and ancestors, and extended branches in the family tree, all in northeast or eastern Missouri, west central or central Illinois.
As may be obvious from the title and the cover, this is not a serious book, but the incidents are all true. Nuts, Squirrels, and Knotholes in the Family Tree was truly a family project, generations in the making.
To be less mortifying for family members to have their humorous personal accounts included, the author bared his soul and included many of his own antics and circumstances.
Its helpful, but not absolutely necessary to know any of the people in the book.
It is the authors wish that fond family times will be recapped and recounted as he shows some of the great times of his family, and offers proof that yes, there are Nuts, Squirrels and Knotholes in the Family Tree.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 13, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479736379

Book preview

Nuts,

Squirrels

and

Knotholes

in the Family Tree

Dan Steinbeck

Copyright © 2012 by Dan Steinbeck.

Cover Illustration by Carla Steinbeck

Library of Congress Control Number:        2012919681

ISBN:                   Hardcover           978-1-4797-3636-2

                             Softcover             978-1-4797-3635-5

                             Ebook                 978-1-4797-3637-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

A compilation of anecdotes of the David W. and JoAnn Crawford

Steinbeck family and several extended and associated families in Northeast and Eastern Missouri and West Central and Central Illinois.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

118529

CONTENTS

Introduction

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1 Mom and Dad

Chapter 2 Love in the air

Chapter 3 Birth stories

Chapter 4 Holidays and Special events

Chapter 5 At College—For Study and Work

Chapter 6 Military

Chapter 7 Sibling war

Chapter 8 Performers and the fine arts

Chapter 9 More about Dan

Chapter 10 Grandparents

Chapter 11 More about Deanna

Chapter 12 More about Jennifer

Chapter 13 Pets and the animal kingdom

Chapter 14 Thought for Food

Chapter 15 Uncle Sonny

Chapter 16 Carla

Chapter 17 Extended family

Chapter 18 Andrew and Shannon

Chapter 19 Just child’s play

Chapter 20 Parties

Chapter 21 Pranks

Chapter 22 Modes of Transportation

Chapter 23 To your health

Chapter 24 Vacations

Chapter 25 Miscellany

Chapter 26 Miscellaneous Pearls of Wisdom

DEDICATION

This book is lovingly dedicated to the memory of those family members who left earth before they got to read this in print, but certainly played a huge role in the personal development of myself and/or others in this book, and the often-humorous examples they left, comprising a much richer legacy than wealth could ever provide.

INTRODUCTION

ALMOST EVERYONE HAS something from their family life that has been worth a few chuckles or smiles at least. I say that understanding that not all family lives are happy.

Growing up Steinbeck has been enjoyable and an honor. Laughter has long filled the house as a child, and the house as an adult. A lot of this comes from the ability to laugh at one’s self when circumstances merit. However, I won’t pretend every situation has been funny, as we’ve had our share of sorrow and difficulties along the way like anyone else.

But laughter was fostered in the Steinbeck households.

Some stories here are not unlike stories from any other household, and yet they offer a collection of stories that may indeed differ from other families. It seems there are some weird things that come up for the Steinbecks, but there were also a number of humorous situations created and thus a compilation of some of both them has been made. Not all families want to put their stories in a book. A friend told me I was brave for attempting this, but some family members encouraged it and hopefully won’t regret that. A slight few stories are more poignant than humorous.

For the purposes of including humorous stories, there is a broad interpretation of family tree in this book.

I’m Dan Steinbeck, from Canton, Missouri. My wife Carla is originally from Camp Point, Illinois. We have two children, Andrew and Shannon.

My parents are Dave and JoAnn Steinbeck. Dad died in December 2005. Carla’s parents are Ray and Ellen Scheuermann. Ray died in July 1991.

My sisters are Deanna and Jennifer. Deanna is married to Wayne Schmidt and their two boys are Austin and Avery. Jennifer is married to Mark Pegler and their son is Daniel.

Carla’s siblings were Curt, Sue, Grant, Eric, Leisha, and Sean. Curt died in 2008, Leisha, and her son, Justice, died in 2011).

My grandparents were Gladys Crawford (her husband Francis Crawford died when Mom was just a child) and Elmer and Virginia Steinbeck. Carla’s grandparents were Mattie and Albert Scheuermann and Clayton Charles and Mildred Prior Curtis. All our (Carla and mine) grandparents are gone at the writing of this book.

Dad had one brother, Tom, who died in 1960 in a car accident. His wife Judy Lillard Steinbeck later remarried Harry Hall. Tom and Judy’s children are Tim and Susan. Harry had four boys from a previous marriage.

Mom has a brother and had a sister. The brother, Norman Sonny Crawford is still sharing funny stories at the writing of this book. Mom’s sister Judy Crawford died early in her adulthood of leukemia.

Sonny and his former wife Jane have two children, Curt Crawford and Susan Crawford Feeney.

Dad bought the Canton Press-News and Lewis County Journal in 1968, and merged them five years later to the Press-News Journal. All Dad and Mom’s children and grandchildren worked at least part time there.

I also have been pastor of Southern Baptist Fellowship in Wayland since—of all days—April 1, 2001.

In 1977, Dad’s creation of the of the Golden Eagle Dinner Theater began, and he simultaneously operated both businesses for 20 some years, before the boat Dad tried to sell—and had to repossess twice—fell into disrepair and was later ordered torn down by the City of Canton. In its heyday, there were 10,000 guests each summer that came to the Golden Eagle.

Most of the family attended Culver-Stockton College in Canton. I also traveled a year with the international musical entertainment group of Up with People.

The story accounts will include these generation notations—0-, which will indicate Carla and my generation, our siblings, and cousins;—1 for those of our parents generation,—2 for those of our grandparents generation, and—3 for those of great grandparents generation. A +1 will indicate our children’s generation.

Family members not directly included, not included much, or maybe not at all shouldn’t despair (and might even be relieved.) It doesn’t mean you aren’t loved, I just didn’t know (or forgot) about a story you have. On the other hand, you can laugh at some of us who are included.

While a direct connection to the Steinbeck line will aid in the understanding of the purpose of the stories, it is by no means required. It is my hope that friends of the Steinbecks and extended family will by proxy be part of our family and enjoy the accounts given too.

The included stories are not by any means all of our family stories, and the ones listed aren’t necessarily in chronological order, or of perceived importance.

Please forgive the missing details, obscured by time, incorrect information, or fuzzy memory, but enjoy the circumstances of the Steinbeck and extended families.

The reader will meet many of the people of the tree already introduced in the stories of this book. There are other relatives and friends that will be introduced in the accounts in this book. You the reader will have a general look at the families.

Now check the things that make our family tree full of Nuts, Squirrels and Knotholes.

Dan Steinbeck

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

THIS PROJECT IS a result of encouraging and indulgent family members who allowed personal interviews and the writing of their stories for the general public to read. I am grateful for my family and their permission to share these.

There are many family members included, but especially my wife Carla, our children Andrew and Shannon, my mom JoAnn Steinbeck, my sisters Deanna Schmidt and Jennifer Pegler, and their families.

In addition to personal stories, some accounts as noted were taken from Dad’s Endeavors, some life chronicles, found on his computer after his death, and his military humor booklet Gee-Eyeing Europe. Also, some information came from a collection of some quotes of Carla and my children and Deanna and Wayne’s boys compiled by Jennifer.

This project also would not have been possible without the abilities and blessings of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and I sincerely hope Jesus is an active part of your life. If not, let’s talk about this, as this relationship is necessary to give life meaning.

CHAPTER 1

Mom and Dad

Unexpected Company (Generation -1)

WHEN THE DAVE Steinbeck family moved from the Canton Missouri city limits to the farm in 1968, Highway 61 was a major two-lane highway that went by our house until the 1970’s when old Highway 61 became Route B/Business 61. The new highway 61 was relocated a few miles west of the Steinbeck home.

Occasionally, someone had car trouble, and needed to call for help. One night, Mom and Dad were getting ready to go out for the evening. Dad was in the small bathroom downstairs shaving. There was a knock at the front door. Two teenagers were there and said they had car trouble.

Mom directed them to the kitchen phone. One of them called for help. The other stood by, and then whispered something to the one on the phone. The teen on the phone covered the mouthpiece of the phone and said to Mom He’s sick.

Mom directed the ailing man to the bathroom, hollered Dave, he’s sick. Dad, caught unexpectedly in the small bathroom, quickly stopped mid-shave and stepped into the tub, and the sick guest voided his stomach contents in the nearby toilet.

Soon, the awkward moment passed, and the teens waited for a friend to get them. Mom, not wanting to leave us kids alone immediately, set up a card table saying, The Berry’s will be here any moment. Mom and Dad were going out, not having company in, especially not having an ill teenage stranger.

The help came and they all soon left. When they had pulled away from the highway shoulder, the ruse of the card table was taken down, and Dad and Mom had their otherwise uneventful evening out, and a story to tell to others.

The Ladder of the Law (Generations -1 and 0)

Dad didn’t always use common sense on some projects.

Once, he was painting the upper story on the rural Steinbeck house near Canton. He had made money one summer while in college painting people’s houses and barns, so he had experience.

His extension ladder wasn’t quite long enough, so he backed a station wagon up the slight incline at the front of the house. The tailgate was lowered (like a pick-up truck tailgate). Dad put the ladder on the tailgate and leaned the top of the ladder near the top of the hose.

Unaware of just how precarious was the ladder’s positioning, I sat on the tailgate to talk with Dad.

Although I was a preteen without a lot of mass on the body, my sitting down was a scary moment for Dad. The gingerly-set ladder moved unfavorably, and came close to putting another law of motion into practice. Dad knew how he approached this predicament could depend on how he would descend—with the moving ladder, without the ladder, or safely stepping down the ladder.

Dad said gently, but with an air of panic in his voice, Dan, could you very slowly get off the tailgate of the car. I did, and the ladder adjusted. Dad soon climbed safely down, relieved to have survived the close call.

I’m sure the sweat on his shirt that day was not from the heat alone. He later secured scaffolding to finish the project and avoid other close calls.

Fun with a make-believe lady

(Three stories, generation -1)

• Dad and his then 14-year cousin Gail (Kern) Barker went with Dad to downtown St. Louis to pick up a manikin decades ago from another St. Louis suburb. (Who knows why.)

He carried the manikin out. Gail thought he’d cover her with a blanket or something, but he didn’t. He propped up the manikin in the back seat with one foot slightly out the window, and one arm casually thrown over the backseat. Gail said, I’m surprised he forgot to put a cigarette in her mouth.

While Gail was embarrassed to have the manikin hanging out of the car, Dad thoroughly enjoyed the reactions of people they passed.

The manikin was brought back to St. Louis when Dad made a visit to Aunt Kathryn and Uncle Pete’s house. Some mutual friends, including a talkative Tootsie were coming to visit. Dad ‘dressed’ the woman in some of Gail’s clothes, and put her (the manikin) on the couch, facing the back.

When the guests arrived, they were told to be quiet because ‘Gail’ was sleeping. Dad’s cousin Jim Kern and Dad kept the ruse up for 10 minutes, until the real Gail came down the stairs. Suddenly a confused Tootsie was speechless.

• When my parents bought the farm three miles south of Canton, there were several sheds and an outhouse. We never used the outhouse, except for convenient storage of a manikin. When company came, Dad delighted in showing the property, including the outhouse. Curious guests peeked in the outhouse and got a surprise—a mock lady sitting there.

• After Dad’s passing, one Mt. Sterling area friend talked about how a rec room had been set up in Grandma and Grandpa Steinbeck’s basement, complete with an upright piano.

When people played the piano and would hit a certain key, a manikin’s leg would pop from the top of the piano.

What? Your piano doesn’t do this?

(It’s not immediately known if these manikins were the same as others mentioned in stories in this book).

Seduction? (or Was Dad hit on?) (Generation -1)

There was a thrift store Sisters of Charity in Qunicy, Illinois which Mom and Dad frequented. Thrift stores were good way to kill a day. There likely wasn’t much really needed by my folks, but Dad was always looking for some prop or costume for a show at the Golden Eagle Showboat. Dad either didn’t remember or was intentionally being funny, calling the store Sisters of Perpetual Misery.

Once at the Sisters of Perpetual Misery, Mom was looking at things in another part of the store, and one of the workers, an older, and perhaps slightly addled woman, Hilda, waited on Dad.

She approached Dad and said something along the lines of Do you like to take your clothes off when you get home?

How does one possibly answer this one? Hilda apparently meant nothing by it, although that’s not what we told Dad, who was much younger than Hilda. (We tried to make Hilda a cougar).

Hilda wasn’t a Cougar (that we know of). Instead, she was just trying to sell a smoking jacket, a fancy, informal robe. She just had a curious delivery spiel.

Moving at the speed of slow (Generation -1)

In 1957 Mom and Dad and my aunt and uncle Judy and Tom Steinbeck went to Florida. On one end of the trip in someplace believed to be in Suwanee, Georgia, they had a meal in a restaurant.

A black waiter came to them, shuffling his feet ever so slowly. After bringing the drinks they had ordered, he asked if they were ready to order. Each person in the party ordered, the waiter dutifully nodded. After all had ordered, he said he’d have to go back and get his pencil and his order pad, and shuffled slowly off and they had to repeat everything to him when he got back.

Mom said Dad and Tom about got us kicked out of the restaurant, with insulting commentary and they nicknamed the ever-so-slow waiter Rasmusen.

Making too good an impression (Generation -1)

Dad often had unusual projects going on. For reasons since forgotten, Dad decided to make a plaster cast of Mom’s face. He put soda straws in her nose so she could breathe and applied the plaster of Pairs to Mom’s face.

Mom was giggling while Dad applied the plaster, but the sight of this disturbed Jennifer, who was about age 3. When the plaster was dry, he gingerly removed it and made a rubber cast of it. He used a flesh colored wax to make duplicate faces. To cool the concoction, the gel face was set in the refrigerator crisper.

Grandma (Virginia) Steinbeck was visiting and upon opening the refrigerator, let out a blood-curdling scream, finding the face while getting an iced drink.

While it was not Mom or Dad’s intention, as soon as they heard the scream, both immediately knew what Grandma had found. Mom and Dad enjoyed a good laugh. Grandma did think it was funny.

Unsinkable (Generation -1)

We had a small Cub Cadet riding lawn mower on the farm. Gradually, we three kids learned to drive it. Until then, Dad did the mowing.

We had a small pond, which probably wasn’t eight feet deep. The reason we had the pond in the first place, was Dad thought the farmstead needed a pond, although it was not used for any known agriculture or aesthetic purpose nor positioned where anyone could see it’s beauty. In later years, we let it dry up.

The Cub Cadet had recently come back from the repair shop. Dad was mowing the pond bank and his foot slipped off the