My Walk with God

By Milta Velez

Take my life or change it, Milta Velez declared to a God she had just met. With this statement, she challenged God while standing at the altar with a gun in her purse. She grew up in Manhattan at a time when womens liberation was born. She sought her identity in the nightclubs of New York. With five disastrous relationships, she was following in the footsteps of the Samaritan woman when Jesus touched her and saved her life. Tired and desperate, she surrendered to Jesus. During her walk with God, she struggled with the conversion of being a Christian because she didnt believe in miracles, until the day she decided to put Jesus to the test. Her first granted miracle enabled her to purchase her first home without any credit or collateral.

Milta soon discovered that anything is possible in the name of Jesus. And that a dreamer in the hands of God can accomplish great things. Milta sets an example of what one can accomplish when one surrenders their hopelessness to God. Today she owns a travel agency, a restaurant, and the property.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 22, 2007
• ISBN: 9781477166673

Milta Velez

Milta Velez, the author of To Cry in Silence, lives with her husband and youngest son in Allentown, Pennsylvania. She works in her agency selling airline tickets and insurance policies. She owns and manages El Barrio Restaurant in Allentown as well. She is a member of Templo Refugio in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and works with the nursery ministry. She loves to travel and welcomes any opportunity in her travels to be used by God. Correspondence for the author should be addressed to [e-mail]

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Copyright © 2007 by Milta Velez.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2006909518

ISBN 13:         Hardcover                               978-1-4257-4072-6

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4257-4071-9

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CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Chapter 1  First Encounter

Chapter 2  He Touched Me

Chapter 3  The Samaritan Woman

Chapter 4  The Road To Emmaus

Chapter 5  Provision

Chapter 6  I Had A Dream

Chapter 7  To Catch The Fire

Chapter 8  The Tie That Binds

Chapter 9  Synopsis For Life

Chapter 10  A Greater Purpose

Chapter 11  Sign Of The Times

Chapter 12  Manna From Heaven

Afterword

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

In gratitude, I wrote this book. As I glance at my life before I walked through the doors of Templo Refugio, I am in awe. I walked inside Templo Refugio, a small church in the south side of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, with a gun in my purse and a burning desire to die in my heart.

When Pastor Jorge Navedo made the altar call, I went forward and stood at the altar. With my eyes closed, I challenged God. I said, God, if you are real, take my life or change it. Pastor Jorge Navedo placed his hand upon me, and through his hands, God created a chain of events that changed the course of my life. Jesus restored my life and gave me a second chance to live. Thank you, Pastor Jorge and Becky Navedo of Templo Refugio. For once I was blind, but now, I can see.

Special thanks to all my sisters and brothers in Christ at Templo Refugio who welcomed me into their beautiful church, especially Rosa Corado who invited me to church at the precise moment when I needed God the most, she was the messenger that Jesus sent to save me. Thank you, Olga Maldonado, for sending me to my knees, when I was purchasing my home after being evicted from my apartment. My most profound gratitude is to two lovely women, mother and daughter, Evelyn Tokar and Susan Audibert, for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

I want to express my thanks to my husband Mike for his patience and forbearance for the many nights I kept him awake at night while working on my laptop writing this book.

A special thanks to Tommy Tenney for his magnificent revival in church on the move in the year 2002, a revival that touched my heart and brought me closer to God. Without his knowledge, Tommy Tenney encouraged me to write this book. God Chaser made such an impact on me that after every chapter, I fell to my knees and wept.

God Chaser awoke in me a greater passion for the work of God. Since then, I have developed a greater hunger for God and a desire to do God’s will.

Although I had already published a fiction novel entitled To Cry in Silence, Tommy Tenney brought me to the revelation of where God wanted to take me with my writing.

Finally, I want to thank my five gifts from God, my beloved children, Yolanda, Saul, Alexander, Jessica, and Jonathan. May you continue your walk with God with the knowledge that you and your household will be saved.

PROLOGUE

If this were a fiction novel, it would tell a tale of heroes and heroism. History is filled with stories of heroism that transcend time and culture. In the days of giants, the heroes battled giants. In time of war, we have defeated the enemy with weapons of violence. In the war against evil, we must learn to fight with the only weapon that can put an end to our war, the word of God. This story is about my battles won in the name of Jesus.

Satan is an intruder who trespasses through our minds and fires his darts into our hearts. My story is about that kind of war. It is a war that battled evil, weakness, hunger, and poverty with the shield and the armor of God. I am not a preacher, an evangelist, or a prophet; however, I don’t dismiss the fate if someday the Lord summons me in that area. I am someone who never believed in miracles until the day I met Jesus.

Mine is just another of the millions of stories that can be shared throughout the millions of congregations by Christian people each day, Christians who fought their own private battles and became the victor. Christians like Abraham, who wandered into the desert starved, thirsty, lost, and confused, but had the courage to flee from Egypt.

My story is not unique because during my walk with God, I have encountered many people who have a story of heroism to tell. The only difference between their story and mine is that Jesus has allowed me to share my story with you.

There is a vast difference between my present life and my past. In fact, when I gaze upon my past, I feel as if I’m seeing a stranger. During my life, I fought many battles in which mostly I was defeated. I lived my life in a world of chaos, always wondering the reason for my birth and why God had chosen me to suffer in this world.

If you are a Christian and your life has changed drastically since the day Jesus touched you, then you can relate to this book. But if you haven’t met Jesus, or if you are a Christian who is still at war or seeking miracles in your life only to find that they merely pass you by, then this book is especially for you.

As long as there has been Christians, there have been testimonies about miracles, blessings, battles, and victories won.

All my life, I wondered if God was real and why he never revealed himself to me when I cried for help. It seemed that whenever I cried the loudest, he turned his face from me. I became even more confused when one day I read, (Footprints in the Sand). This is a poem that tells a tale of a young man’s dream.

In his dream, the man was walking along the beach with the Lord. Suddenly, across the sky flashed memories of his life. For each scene in his life, he noticed that there were two sets of footprints in the sand. One was his; the other, the Lord’s. It troubled the young man when he remembered the hardest part of his life, because during that period, he saw only one set of footprints. He asked Jesus why he allowed all those bad things to befall him. Jesus replied to him.

My son, the reason you see only one set of prints in the worst moments of your life is because during that time, I carried you.

When I cried out to God, I never felt carried; actually, I believed God never even heard me. I began to think that he didn’t care. Until the day I entered Templo Refugio.

I strolled into this church one day when I was fighting the worst battle of my life. It was a war between life and death. I walked into the church with a gun in my purse and a burning desire to die in my heart. I feel the heat of that desire even now as I write. I know now that if God had not carried me into that church that day, I would be writing these pages of my soul in the confines of a jail cell, or I would be six feet under.

CHAPTER 1

FIRST ENCOUNTER

I was raised in New York City, I was born in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, but my life began the day I entered Templo Refugio. It was in this church that I was born again. Templo Refugio is a small church on the south side of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, where I relocated from New York fifteen years earlier. Templo Refugio means Temple of Refuge, and that is precisely what it is, a temple of refuge for all the weary and tired of living.

Since then, the original congregation has relocated, but the original site stands tall and proud, erected on a high level ground surrounded by a small plush green lawn. The building housed only two hundred people at a time, but all who passed by and gazed at its structure, although small, felt the impact of its blessings.

In any given summer day, as you drove by with your windows open, you could hear the chorus of angels as the members of the congregation sang and praised the Lord. Through its windows drifted the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. But it wasn’t the singing that caught your attention the most, or the edifice of the building and/or the construction of the framework, but the fact that these people sounded happy. It seemed as if they were living in a world all their own and that nothing of the outside world could harm them.

At the time, I lived in an apartment complex for the low income nearby and passed the beautiful church every day, on my way to work. As I drove by in my car, I often wondered why these people were so happy when the world around them, including mine, was falling apart. Not by coincidence I believe, I went to work at a travel agency and met a girl named Rosa Corado. She was a member of Templo Refugio for many years. She spoke to me about Jesus as if she really knew him. She said he was a powerful Prince of Peace. She said that in his presence hearts were healed, and that if I needed healing, I should visit her church. At first I hesitated because I was raised a Catholic. I even went to Catholic school. But in order to remain in the school, its students were forced to visit the church every Sunday. Every Sunday, although my parents themselves never went, they sent me and my three sisters off to church.

I learned plenty about God in Catholic school through its books, but the only thing I remember about the church sermons was falling asleep and waking up when it was over. All my life, I had heard many wonderful things about this powerful God, but I had never experienced anything marvelous firsthand. Rosa claimed to talk to God, and she was convinced that he spoke back. But the strange part of it was that somehow I believed her.

Rosa was at least ten years younger than me and very friendly. The few Christians in my life I had met were religious fanatics. They behaved as if they were better than the rest of the world, but their actions reflected what was in their hearts.

Rosa was different. Her sincerity and simple manners drew me. The Christians I knew crossed the street whenever they saw a drug addict or a drunk coming their way, and when their friends and families didn’t convert, they simply disowned them. I learned from Rosa that Jesus loved all mankind, both the sinners and the sin-free.

Being raised in the Lower East Side in Manhattan, in a time where everywhere you turn, people were talking about freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom of the press. I grew up pretty strong minded. I knew what I wanted, and I knew what I believed in, and I believed in all that convenient stuff. But I couldn’t understand what kind of God wanted you to turn your back on your family and friends simply because they didn’t share your beliefs.

Rosa made friends with the needy and the sinners as well. She didn’t shun you, just because you weren’t a Christian. I sensed that she was someone special. I wanted what she had. She carried her problems in a jovial sense of calm almost as if she had an invisible shield to protect her from the problems of this world. She gave me the impression that she could accomplish almost anything she wanted in the name of Jesus.

So while my world was falling apart, my friend Rosa was a rock. She had an inner peace that I had never sensed in anyone. I felt an instant liking toward her and knew that she would never criticize me nor divulge any of my secrets so I began to trust her.

It was clear to me that my friend Rosa knew something I didn’t, and I wanted the knowledge she possessed. But unfortunately, the things of God aren’t that easy. Our relationship with God is intimate. You cannot acquire it through a friend or a relative. Salvation is individual.

For a long time, Rosa became a shoulder to cry on. I poured my heart to her in the hopes that she had some divine message from above, but after comforting me with her wisdom and mysticism, all she did was invite me to church. Of course, I never went. Instead, I insulted her by expressing my negative opinion about Christian people.

It is your choice, she said, All you have to do is sit at the back, and when you feel like leaving, you can leave. That sounded easy enough, but I knew from past experience how Christian people behaved. Once they grab a hold of you, they never let you go. I wasn’t prepared to be converted, especially since I had a bad experience with a church in the past.

A friend of mine had invited me to visit her church. During the sermon, not a hair stirred on my head. But when the sermon ended, they made an altar call. They said that if anyone needed a prayer, he can come forward. Well who doesn’t need a prayer? I went forward. As I stood in front of the altar to receive the prayer, the pastor placed his hand on my head. While he was praying for me, a woman stood beside me. She asked me if I wanted to accept God as my savior. I reminded her that I was there for a prayer. How could I accept someone I didn’t even know? After glaring at me as if I had blasphemed, she whispered something discomforting in my ear.

I believe this church isn’t for you, she said.

I walked back to my seat feeling worse than ever. A sense of guilt and worthlessness came over me that prevented me from stepping inside a church again.

Perhaps if they had just prayed for me and let me be, I would have returned, and all my yesterdays would be in neat little packages.

The day I entered Templo Refugio was the day that I died and someone else was saved. Someone reckless, lost and in bondage, a woman living in fear, running from one relationship to the next trying to find happiness while it eluded her. I had no sense of direction. I was addicted to chaos.

As a child, I was rebellious, always doing the opposite of what my parents wanted me to do; as a grown-up, I lived in fear, doubts, and worries for the future. I blamed most of my misfortune first on God then on my mother. At the age of five, she sent me to live with my father and my stepmother in New York.

I felt betrayed by the person I loved the most, and I carried my anger relentlessly. I used it as a shield to protect me from the outside forces of the world. Anger became my friend throughout my childhood, my teenage years, and most of my adult life. I was convinced that on the night that I was born, a dark shadow crossed the star that was meant to shine my future.

For some of us, the age of three, twelve, and fifteen come full of joyful memories, memories of playing with dolls, inviting our friends to celebrate our birthdays, and playing tea time with them. For others, it was learning to play the piano or practicing baking a cake while Mother stood by and watched. But for some of us, these memories bring us close to tragic events in our lives. My mother was the entire focus of my life, and then one day, she was gone. Unwillingly, on her way out, she deposited a seed of confusion, hate, and distrust. I had never been able to rid myself of until the day that Jesus touched me.

The power of love

Mothers have the God-given potential to change their children’s destiny. A mother can make those tender years full of blessings or turn them into a curse. A mother can pour onto their children the love of God and, without manipulating, show them firsthand what the love of Jesus can accomplish in their lives.

Perhaps you can never leave behind the damage and the pain that was caused to you as a child, but you can assure yourself that you don’t pass them on to your children. Your children never need to live the burden that you were forced to live. Based on your own experience, you can overcome the evil for blessings in the life of your child.

You can teach your child the love of God by constantly hugging your child, praying with them, and teaching them about the word of God. The Lord’s message, somehow, finds its way into their heart. You can help them seek good friends. You can teach them the consequences of bad actions and the blessings of