The Water Is Always Deeper in the Deep End: Lessons Learned

By William L. Hawkins Jr.

The Water Is Always Deeper at the Deep End

is an easy to read

collection of lessons I have learned over time that are directly related

to my attitude towards situations I have faced in my life.

I refer to these lessons as Deep Water because thats exactly how

I felt; like I was in deep water just trying to survive.

Many of those times were very painful, very anxious and very uncertain.

These lessons come primarily from people whose paths I have

had the privilege of crossing.

Theyre not only my experiences but the experiences of others as

well. I am in a constant pursuit of wisdom and character development

and believe this pursuit lifelong.

I believe I can always stand to grow wiser and my character be

further developed. I believe this constant pursuit can only help me in

my future endeavors and hopefully help you in yours.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 18, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477110232

William L. Hawkins Jr.

William L. Hawkins, Jr., was born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. He joined the United States Air Force in 1984 and retired from active duty in 2007. William credits his parents and the Air Force with providing him a firm foundation and healthy outlook on life. His parents, along with the Air Force, taught him the importance of responsibility and accountability from a very young age. The lessons he has learned have proved invaluable and continue to help him and others who come in contact with him. He sees these lessons as gifts he’s received and believes gifts have much more meaning when they are shared with others. And now he would like to share them with you.

Book preview

The Water Is Always Deeper In The Deep End

LESSONS LEARNED

William L. Hawkins, Jr.

Copyright © 2012 by Copyright © 2012 by

ISBN: Softcover 978-1-4771-1022-5

Ebook 978-1-4771-1023-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Contents

Prelude

Lesson 1

Lesson 2

Lesson 3

Lesson 4

Lesson 5

Lesson 6

Lesson 7

Lesson 8

Lesson 9

Lesson 10

Lesson 11

Lesson 12

Lesson 13

Lesson 14

Lesson 15

Lesson 16

Lesson 17

Lesson 18

Lesson 19

Lesson 20

Lesson 21

Lesson 22

Lesson 23

Lesson 24

Lesson 25

Lesson 26

Final Thoughts

In Loving Memory

Of

Ermer SisHumphrey

Ednora Hudgies

Jerome Lundy

Charles Chief Lundy

Ruth Hudgies

Air Force Captain Vivian Elmo

Kenneth Blinky Walker

Gone but not forgotten

Prelude

Growing up in Cincinnati, one of the things neighborhood children did in the summer was go to the community pool. The pool opened at eight in the morning and closed at eight at night. Some of us would stay all day. As you can imagine, childhood obesity wasn’t a problem for us.

I never took swimming lessons. I just jumped in and imitated the people who knew how to swim. Eventually, I became pretty good at it, so good that a lifeguard asked me if I would like join the swim team. I had never even heard of a swim team, but I said yes anyway. Lo and behold, I took second place in my first swim competition. My parents still have the ribbon. Not bad for a kid who had no idea what swimming competitively was all about.

Like most swimming pools, there was a shallow and a deep end. There were signs posted everywhere warning swimmers of the deep end. In spite of the signs, there were still kids who tried to swim in the deep end. My guess is they were either over-confident or maybe the rest of us just made it look easy. Every day, though, swimmers would find themselves in trouble in the deep end. A lifeguard or one of us seasoned swimmer would have to come to their rescue. We were all used to it, and it even made us feel heroic.

In the vernacular, deep water refers to trouble in life. The Water Is Always Deeper in the Deep End is a metaphor for some of the decisions I’ve made in my life. Sometimes, I was in situations where I wasn’t sure how I got there. There were also times when I put myself in a situation or allowed others to put me in a situation. Some situations were due to my ignorance and lack of experience, but others were due to my pride, arrogance and defiance. There were times I believed I didn’t have a choice in the matter. More often, though, I did have a choice. I realize now it wasn’t options I lacked, but courage. I learned that making good choices takes not only insight, it also takes courage and in some cases, lots of both.

The Water Is Always Deeper in the Deep End is a collection of lessons I have learned as they relate to my attitude toward situations I have faced in my life. I refer to some lessons as deep water because that’s exactly how I felt, like I was in the deep end of the pool trying to keep my head above water. I recall many of those times as being painful, anxious and uncertain.

I’m not implying that risks in life are not good. I guess it all depends on the risk. I’ve learned that taking risks doesn’t always mean recklessness. I no longer believe risk has to mean do or die. There are some risks that mean do……or simply do something else. Life doesn’t always have to be all or nothing. For where I am in my life now, every effort will always have something at the end of it, either a reward or consequence. No matter the outcome, there’s always a lesson to be learned.

The lessons I’m going to share with you aren’t in any special order, and one isn’t more important to me than another. It’s not a complete list because I learn new things all the time. I don’t claim to know everything or claim to be smarter than anyone else. My intent is to pass along to you what was passed to me.

These lessons come primarily from people whose paths I have had the privilege of crossing. I don’t know if the philosophies or perspectives originated with these particular individuals, but they are the ones who told them to me. These are not only my experiences but the experiences of others as well. I am in a constant pursuit of wisdom and character development and believe this pursuit is a lifelong one. I believe I can always grow wiser, and my character can be further developed. I honestly believe this pursuit can only help me in what lies ahead.

I often believed I was the only one in the world whose life was being challenged or who was going through something. I felt like I was the only one having to deal with what I was dealing with. In time, however, I realized that, when it comes to being challenged, no one is alone. No one holds the patent on a tough time. There’s plenty of that to go around. What I find interesting is how people can have the same challenges, but their perspective and problem-solving ranges from very effective to completely ineffective. I’ve been on both sides of this fence. I know there are things I cannot change and have no control over. But I also realize I can control my attitude. I can change my attitude any time I’d like toward any situation, and the better my attitude the more effectively I can address my problems.

My main inspiration for writing comes from years of conversation and interaction with people from very diverse backgrounds. Their backgrounds include differences in age, race, color, sex, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, as well as cultural and political perspectives. Just when you’re ready to lump everyone together, you realize just how individualized people really are. I’ve been told on many occasions that I should consider sharing what I have learned with others. I’m told that my perspective may help other people. Well, here it is; but first, the back story…….

In April 2010, I ran into a friend of mine, Air Force Col. Gerald Curry. I hadn’t seen him in more than 20 years. I don’t believe our meeting was chance. I believe it was deliberate and purposeful because we serve the same God.

He was just as I remembered him, polished, fit, soft-spoken and encouraging. We talked for quite a while. Twenty years is a long time to catch up on in a few hours, but the conversation went as if the decades hadn’t passed at all. Coincidentally, he also suggested that I write down some of my experiences and ideas. He told me I had his full support, and therefore, I had no excuse for not writing. He was right. I had no excuses. I can’t thank him enough for the encouraging spark that lit the fire under me to get to work on this.

At the risk of sounding overly humble, I have never considered myself unique or exceptional, I really don’t. I’ve always believed my life was just as ordinary as anyone else’s life that is considered ordinary. Everyone can’t be an actor, rock star, politician, doctor or lawyer, but everyone can be something positive. Everyone has something to offer in this life, and it can all start with simple encouragement and learning to believe in oneself.

Speaking of encouragement, some years ago I tested for promotion and missed it by just a couple of points. Just as I was about to feel sorry for myself, my friend Fred BFD Drummond really encouraged me. Ten percent of the people in this world are above average, and ten percent are below average, he said. The rest of us are just average, and there’s nothing wrong with being average. I don’t know if Fred’s numbers are accurate, but I sure felt better after he told me that. I believe his point was there really is room for everyone but some of us just have to try harder than others. I believe everyone has something to offer this life. Sometimes, the hard part is finding out what that something is.

You may be familiar with the quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, If I can help just one person, then my living has not been in vain. When I first heard this, I was very young. I thought the idea of helping just one person wasn’t being very helpful. Now that I am older, I understand what he meant. I know it can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. My interpretation is that I can help just one person or many people, one cause or many causes. I believe the point is to help wherever and whenever I can and wherever and whenever I should. I also believe if you want to add value to your life, help someone, or even better, help as many people as you can, if for no other reason than they need your help. My intent is to follow Dr. King’s words. It is also my belief that my living is not in vain.

As a retired member of the United States Air Force, I have attended more retirement ceremonies than I can count. I have witnessed time and time again retirees acknowledge certain people over the course of their careers. They always seem to start the same way. They tell the audience how much they have learned from people they have encountered. At the same time, they never really seem to say exactly what it is they learned. I’m not sure if this is just the right thing to say, or if it’s just political correctness, but I often wondered if they were being sincere. You may not believe this, but sometimes I’d really like to know exactly what it is they learned. My thinking was, whatever it is they learned may help me, or someone else.

Another purpose for me writing these thoughts down is to share some of my lessons learned because they have helped me so much and continue to help me navigate my way, not only in my personal life but in my professional life as well. Maybe some of these lessons may even help you. These writings are based on my life and are from my life, my experiences and my perspective. My readers may have different experiences. I’m careful not to tell others how they should live their life or what they should or should not do with their life. I encourage you to draw your own conclusions about what I have to say. I’m simply sharing my experiences and perspectives with you.

I believe the best way to present this information is to break it down into individual lessons. The idea is for me to tell you the lesson and then give you my interpretation. Again, I encourage you to draw your own conclusions because you will find as many interpretations