No Limits (To a Mother's Love)

By Maria MCDonald Dorden

Without her mothers knowledge, in the midst of post-partum depression and dealing with bi-polar disorder, a young mother travels to Utah and end up relinquishing her parental rights to an adoption agency utilizing illegal adoption practices.

No limit to a Mothers love tells of one grandmothers fight to regain custody of her grandchild.

Dealing with the death of her own mother as well as her daughters emotional issues, Maria Dorden courageously entered into a fight with the adoption agency and the State of Utah. Her courage, determination, and love of her children and grandchildren ultimately lead to triumph.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 30, 2011
• ISBN: 9781469139371

Maria MCDonald Dorden

To every grandmother everywhere who loves her grandchildren Maria A. Dorden was born on June 12, 1961, to parents Ella Mae and Floyd McDonald. She was raised with her four brothers and one sister in a close-knit family. She has four children and seven grandchildren. She is currently a student at Chicago State University studying psychology. She is a certified addiction counselor for over seventeen years. She is married to Minister John Dorden since 1996 and lives in Chicago, Illinois, where the two of them are raising Tamia Hemphill with the help of Carmen and other family members.

Book preview

NO LIMITS

(TO A MOTHER’S LOVE)

MARIA MCDONALD DORDEN

Copyright © 2012 by Maria MCDonald Dorden.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011962868

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4691-3936-4

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4691-3935-7

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4691-3937-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

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www.Xlibris.com

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THIS BOOK WAS written from my memories and the way things happened as I recall this situation, as well as the feeling and emotions that consumed me during this period. They are not meant to be all inclusive of every event that had taken place during this period. There were many people involved and their stories may differ from mine. God bless every one that has supported me in making it through the many court dates, hospitalizations and treatments throughout the years as well as the continued support in raising Tamia. I hope you enjoy reading this one short period of my life.

Respectively Summited,

Maria Dorden

Dedicated to:

To every grandmother everywhere who has;

Even for one moment, experienced the fear of never

seeing their grandchild again.

 ╤

MARIA A. DORDEN was born June 12, 1961 to parents Ella Mae and Floyd McDonald. She was raised with her four brothers and one sister in a very close family. She has four children and seven grandchildren. Maria is currently a student at Chicago State University studying Psychology. She is a certified Addictions Counselor for over seventeen years. Maria is married to Minister John Dorden since 2006 they live in Chicago Illinois where the two of them are raising Tamia with the help of Carmen and other family members.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

IWOULD LIKE to first thank my God for the strength he provided me to complete this work. He is truly a God of second chances and can change any situation in the blink of an eye. I thank my husband, John Dorden, for all his love and support as well as his sacrifice of time taken away from him and the rest of the family while I was completing this work. I thank my attorneys, Bob, Lonny, and John—three men who believed in my story from the very beginning and worked diligently to ensure the safe return of my granddaughter. I thank my pastor, Titus Lee, for encouraging me to trust God and remain faithful to the word of God. One of his favorite sayings is if you take care of God’s business, he will take care of yours. I feel confident in these words today and know that everything that I have been through in life has been to prepare me for this moment. God’s f avor continues to rest upon me and my family. His glory will continue to shine in my life; and everything that I do will be to give him glory, remain faithful, and trust in his word. I thank every grandmother who donated money to the Save Baby Tamia Foundation. I thank Bishop Trotter and Bishop Grant, two great men of God, and the whole Sweet Holy Spirit family, as well as Mr. Sean Howard who supported me even before he knew me. I also thank my church family, Southside Tabernacle, for embracing me from the very beginning. I love each and every one of them with the love that God has blessed me with. I thank my siblings, uncles, aunts, and close friends for the loving support that each of them provided while the whole situation was going on. I know there is no way that I could ever repay their kindness and support. Last but certainly not least, I thank Ms. Mary Mitchell from the Chicago Sun-Times who managed to keep this story in the media.

Presented with much love

Maria A. Dorden

FOREWORD

AN ACT OF love… A statement, a sentiment, an act. So easily misconstrued as something done out of love for someone or something, but knowing human nature, not so easily surmised as selfless, as a real deed of love should be. No acting involved but a deed that has someone else’s best interest at heart.

The human nature, with all of our imperfections, well wishes, misdeeds, and strive for the betterment, can be fickle at best. Sometimes it seems that even through our misguided intentions, we’re making the right decisions. Sometimes we know we’re not. And sometimes, we just don’t know how to. So where is that great divide, of right and wrong, selfishness, selflessness, better or worse that we as the human race, search for everyday? And when is the act, just that, an act?

Although we may think we know what’s right or wrong, hindsight they say, is 20/20, and as parents, parental figures, role models, and guardians, we think we may know, but just like what this life is destined to do, it’s a learning process for us as well, and one that, we may seem to fail, in the individual moment, until hindsight allows us one more day, week, months or years, for us to see, that we didn’t. It’s mostly rooted in fear, because fear, while checking the angry spirit, causes confusion. While making and shaping decisions for the ones we’re privileged to care for, fear is constant, no matter how many victories we’ve amassed, which leads us to surrender. Not surrendering to the moment as in quit, or becoming passive or weak, but in the spiritual context, meaning that we are willing to accept the spirit of love is active, and strong. Whether or not we can see it working, or even understand how it works, a direct correlation to faith.

Seeing in the years I’ve grown up, and the continuing years I’m growing, more out than up, faith, surrenders, and love seems to be the most prevalent lesson at the center of our lives, and these very same sentiments are what prompted this amazing journey, Tamia’s amazing quest, to be exactly where the most high wants her, the love that so many of us have for her. The faith that it took for us to persevere and the surrendering to what we know to be righteous. A steadily moving force, rooted in courage, perseverance, and grace, not to mention mercy. A journey that could be taken, time and time again, for multiple friends, family and strangers alike, had it not been for the misdeeds, fear, and uncertainty, by one mother, without the blessings of hindsight. It’s amazing, how we are almost trained, and fully admonished, to not make mistakes. But who of us actually succeed? Doesn’t it figure, the bigger mistake we make, the better chance to break out and shape a real life. Benjamin Franklin discovering electricity by almost killing himself with a kite and key, Christopher Columbus sailing toward disaster at the end of the world, remember the world was supposed to be flat. Or real discovering comes from chaos from going to places that look wrong, stupid, and foolish. But, utilizing the faith we have, the love we aspire, and the surrendering necessary to fuel those decisions into the most positive outcome possible, my niece, Tamia, is proof positive of the failures that paved our path, to one of life’s greatest discoveries. Hope for the future!

Submitted by

Antwan Pittman

CHAPTER ONE

The Birth: September 10, 2004

WOW! IT’S FRIDAY, the end of a long week working with troubled youths. Although I love my job as a case manager for minors; at times, the problems attached to the young can be stressful and challenging—even to the ones that have the passion for it. I’m not really sure why God pointed me in this direction, having raised my four children all being adults now. Not all responsible adults, but adults just the same.

My cell phone rang with a number I could not recognize.

Hello.

Hi, Mom, this is Carmen. I’m at the hospital. Can you come right now?

Now I don’t get off of work for another thirty minutes.

Please, Mom. I’m in pain, and I need you to come right now.

Carmen, the youngest of my four children. I love her to death. She is my twin: she looks like me, talks like me, and in my younger days, acts like me. She has the attitude like most twenty-year—olds. I’m the most important person on the earth and nothing matters except me. When I need something, nothing else matters; stop what you are doing and attend to my needs.

Now don’t get me wrong. Carmen is smart, pretty, and can take care of herself in most instances. She is also spoiled and gets what she wants all the time.

My response was Carmen, what is going on?

Mom, I’m in labor. I’m at Ingalls Hospital in Harvey, and I have Mario with me. Please come right now. Oh, it hurts so bad, Mom. I need you now.

OK, OK. I will be right there as soon as my relief gets here.

Now it is two forty in the afternoon. She has me under the impression that she is ready to deliver right now, and if I don’t get there in a hurry, I will miss everything. Ten minutes later, I receive a call from the nurse from Ingalls. Ms. McDonald this is the nurse from Ingalls Hospital.

We have your daughter here in Labor and Delivery. She asked if we would call you to come and be with her while she is having her baby. Well, right now, she is about two centimeters dilated, so she will be here for a while.

I assure you that I will be there as soon as I get off of work.

Now, it was time to call my significant other John to let him know how our Friday evening of rest and relaxation will have to be cancelled for now. We both work two jobs and savor having a Friday night alone with no one ringing the doorbell or the telephone. I know he will understand; he always does. This man has been so patient with me and the madness my children bring to our lives sometimes.

Hi, honey, how are you? You know, I just got a call from Carmen. She is in labor. She is currently at Ingalls Hospital in Harvey. I don’t know why she went to Ingalls. She had to call the ambulance to take her to the hospital. She had Mario with her.

Why does she have Mario?

"I don’t know. Belinda was gone to take care of some business when Carmen went into labor. She went to her neighbor’s house to call the ambulance, and that is where they took her and Mario. I think I will be leaving work early and going over to the hospital since she says that she is scared to be by