Matt Houska: Ability Not Disability

By Janice Credit Houska

Matt's story begins where For the Love of Matthew leaves off. Matt is seventeen at the beginning of the book, and ends when he is twenty-six years old.

You will follow Matt's journey through the remainder of his high school years and into the work force. You will be there as he becomes a well sought after musician and as his talent grows from playing the piano, harmonica, guitar and xylophone to mastering the saxophone, drums and consantina.

You will feel the anguish that follows when he loses his beloved grandfather, two aunts and several favorite pets.

You will feel the frustration when his speech diminishes and although many things are done to help, little changes. In spite of this problem, he manages to hold down two jobs and perform his music in many venues.

Matthew awards and tributes will astound you as he grows in his abilities to work and become a celebrated member of society.

When Matt is ready to go out on his own, there is much drama that goes along with making that decision and what Matt as well as his parents go through to overcome feelings of sadness and loneliness and turn those feelings into gratification and deep pride.

Matt Houska, Ability Not Disability takes the reader through what are possibly the most difficult times in a person's lifethe time of dependence to a state of independence.

"The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, is in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent."
Erich Fromm

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 19, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469139128

Janice Credit Houska

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Book preview

Copyright © 2012 by Janice Credit Houska.

Library of Congress Control Number:          2011962860

ISBN:                      Hardcover                      978-1-4691-3911-1

                                 Softcover                      978-1-4691-3910-4

     Ebook                            978-1-4691-3912-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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106093

Contents

PREFACE

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 34

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 39

CHAPTER 40

CHAPTER 41

CHAPTER 42

CHAPTER 43

CHAPTER 44

EPILOGUE

This book is dedicated to all of the families

who have been blessed with a child with Down syndrome.

PREFACE

BABAY%20MATH%201985%20preface.jpg

Baby Matthew 1985

Matthew Joseph Houska was born on August 21, 1985, and when he was just one day old, we were told that he may have Down syndrome.

It took six weeks before the tests came back positive. Ron and I were devastated with the diagnosis, and at that point, it was difficult to imagine what our son’s future held.

Throughout his early years, I drew from my teaching experience and implemented what methods I could to teach Matthew basic concepts such as colors, numbers, letters, shapes, and I used numerous techniques to teach him how to read. He picked everything up quickly, and he really enjoyed learning new things. He read his first word when he was three, and by the time he was in first grade, he was further in his reading than many of his classmates.

When he was ten years old, he began to show an interest in playing the piano.

I tried to find a piano teacher for Matthew, but they would all say the same thing: I wouldn’t know how to teach a child with Down syndrome.

Frustrated but not defeated, I decided to teach him myself and did so for three years before I found a piano teacher willing to work with him.

Throughout the years, he has become a proficient piano player, performing at many venues. He plays both by reading notes and by ear, which is amazing since he has a considerable hearing loss.

My first book For the Love of Matthew, Growing Up with Down Syndrome, begins with Matthew’s birth and continues through his first seventeen years.

For the past nine years, I have met so many people who have related their stories to me and thanked me for writing Matthew’s story. I am so glad that so many have found it helpful. I wanted other parents and families to find encouragement and support within its pages, the kind I was unable to find in 1985.

So much has happened since he was seventeen that I decided it was time to tell the next chapter in Matthew’s life. It is here in Matt Houska: Ability Not Disability.

God’s blessings to you and your children,

CHAPTER 1

ALFRED%20CReDiT%201916-2002%20chapter%201.jpg

My Dad

Alfred Credit 5/11/1916-11/25/2002

It was November 25, 2002, and a bitter North Dakota wind bit at our faces as Matt and I walked cautiously over the thin sheet of ice that was forming on the sidewalk leading up to the Sunset Nursing Home. My dad had lived here for the past three years. Always healthy, it was Alzheimer’s that was taking him away from us.

Matthew, now seventeen, had spent many days at the nursing home visiting his grandpa. He also visited the other residents at the facility and soon knew their spouses names, ages, birthdays, and license plates numbers.

On Sunday afternoons, Matt would play the piano in the dining room while people sang along to the old favorites he would play for them.

Dad listened proudly whenever Matt would play as he always believed in his abilities. Even through the cloud of Alzheimer’s, he would tell me, He’s going to be all right.

We were greeted warmly by the staff, and Matt was sure to greet each of the residents we met along the lengthy hallway on our way to my dad’s room.

It was a warm room filled with things we hoped would help him remember his family: There were photos of his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, photos of him and my mom in happier days. There was a golf statue and a golf ball with which he shot a hole in one. There were paintings on the wall, which he had painted throughout the years, and his favorite easy chair from home.

I hugged my mom tight and asked her how she was doing. She said she was okay. When Matt saw his Uncle Larry he went to him with a smile. Larry lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma and had arrived a few days earlier. He is my only sibling so with such a small family it is comforting to have us all together. Unfortunately, Ron was working nights at Marvin Windows, so he wasn’t there this particular evening.

My dad had been bedridden for several weeks, and now he had slipped into a coma.

I had told Matt that Grandpa was very tired, and that he wasn’t doing very well. It was difficult for me to prepare him for losing his grandfather when I wasn’t prepared myself.

Hi, Grandpa, Matt said as he approached the bed.

When he did not get a response, he said,

Grandpa’s sleeping.

The resident cat at the nursing home was snuggled close to my dad so Matt quickly turned his attention to the sleeping kitty.

While holding my dad’s hand, I noticed an unusual paleness, and I was alarmed by it. I didn’t know what it meant, but it frightened me. I ran down the hall and told a nurse that something was wrong. She hurried in and took his blood pressure, which failed to register.

She took us aside and said, He’s dying.

Mom draped herself over him, cried softly, and held on tight as if she were trying to prevent him from leaving her.

We all talked to him and told him how very much we loved him. We knew the angels were waiting to take him home, and it was so hard to say good-bye.

Like he had done so many times before, Matthew hugged him and said, I love you, Grandpa,

The nurse came closer and said she needed to check his pulse. Matthew hovered in the doorway with wide-eyed fear. He looked up at me and saw tears in my eyes. I hugged him tight while trying to quell my own fears.

Placing the stethoscope over my dad’s heart, she only heard a deadly stillness.

There was no struggle; nothing but a quiet serenity as he gently drifted away from us into paradise.

I’m sorry, she said compassionately.

Matt, hearing that his grandpa had died, cried with the rest of us. I looked at Matt and knew his heart was breaking. I held him tight and wished I could take away the pain.

Then he looked at me with such concern and asked, Is he with Grandma Valerie?

I nodded and gave him a hug.

We lost Ron’s mother, Valerie, in 1997, and it was a devastating loss for Matthew. He was inconsolable for days and couldn’t sleep for weeks. Ever since her death, whenever Matt would hear of someone dying, his first question was if they were with Grandma Valerie. It seemed to give him comfort that people were all together in heaven, and from then on, it helped him deal with death.

Dad’s memorial service was held at the Sunset Nursing Home chapel, the day after Thanksgiving 2002.

I spoke about my dad, who had always been my hero, as I went back to my childhood and remembered the lessons he taught me about living a good, honest life.

Ron gave a heartwarming talk about his father-in-law, who he said was the wisest man he had ever known. He added humorous anecdotes, like the time he taught Ron how to golf saying, I’m going to show you how to golf but since I’m left handed and you are not, it probably won’t work but we will give it a shot,

Matthew played the keyboard at the memorial service. He played Amazing Grace, Blessed Assurance, and Holy God, We Praise Thy Name. It was so emotional for me to see him sadly striking each chord