Getting Through: A Poetic Journey Through Grief and Loss

By Sandra L. Thibault

Getting Through is a heartfelt collection of poetry that has something everyone can connect with. For anyone who has faced adversity, this book is sure to touch ones heart.

Its about getting through the loss of a loved one or pet, loss of a job or finances, loss of self-worth and confidence. Its about the loss of ones self.

This book is about losing love and finding it again. Its about finding faith and hope again, and learning to enjoy the little things in life and appreciate the blessings were given. Its about finding ones self while getting through.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 4, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465384058

Sandra L. Thibault

SANDRA L. THIBAULT – BIO Sandra lives in New England, in the city of Fall River located in southeastern Massachusetts with her husband and daughter. She was born and raised in Taunton and attended school there. She holds an Associates of Science in Mechanical Engineering and is an alumnus of both BCC and SMU (now UMD). She is a mother of 1 son and 2 daughters and has 4 grandchildren. This is her first published book of poetry and she is currently working on her second book entitled “Inspirations”.

Book preview

Copyright © 2011 by Sandra L. Thibault.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011918780

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4653-8404-1

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4653-8403-4

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4653-8405-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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104158

CONTENTS

DEATH VS. LIFE

GRIEF

LETTING GO

THE STRANGER

THE PATH OF GRIEF

THE MISSING PIECE

NO MORE TEARS

DAY BY DAY

THE DAY THE DAM BROKE

COMING HOME

LOOKING FOR LIFE

IN THE SPAN OF A YEAR

INSOMNIA

PICKING UP THE PIECES

DEATH I HATE YOU

ED IT’S BEEN 1 YEAR

IT’S BEEN 1 YEAR

FEAR OF FEELING

EMPTY

THE LAST MAY DAY

BUILDING WALLS

TOO DEMANDING

ONE STEP AHEAD; THREE STEPS BACK

REJECTED VISIT

NO WAY OUT

LOST CAUSE

ANGEL STEPS

ALL I WANT IS PEACE

UNPREDICTABLE

ASK THEE

A FAITH RENEWED

EYES OF THE SOUL

FLAME FOR PEACE

THE DOVE

SPREAD YOUR WINGS

FORGIVE ME

THE CALLING

PEACE OF THE MOUNTAINS

HE’S THERE

COMPRESSION

REFLECTION

OBSTACLES

FAMILIAR PLACES

THE MOMENT

VISIT WITH AN OLD FRIEND

THE POWER OF TOUCH

THE REVIEW

REJOICE THE RAINS

LOSING MY VOICE

A SPECK OF DUST

MORE THAN WORDS

UNKNOWN CARCASS

A VOICE

STORM BREWING

PUTTING OUT FIRES

MY THERAPIST

THE CALL

DON’T GIVE UP HOPE

GETTING THROUGH

A FISH OUT OF WATER

THE WRONG PATH

HEALING AN INJURED SOUL

CAR TROUBLES

A LITTLE NO

A THIN LAYER OF ICE

THE MISTAKE

WINDS

THE CHILD WITHIN

THE PAST

THE LITTLE GOLDEN BOOK

SOMEWHERE

EVIL HATH NO BOUNDARIES

SEARCHING FOR INNOCENCE

THE ENTRUSTED

LOST

INSIDE THE SNOW GLOBE

ALONE

TO ENJOY THE DANCE

I LONG TO… 

A BABY’S SMILE

KNEADING A PURPOSE

ENJOY THESE MOMENTS

THE TRANSFORMATION

A NOTE OF APPRECIATION

THE SEA

FRESHNESS OF A NEW SEASON

THE FORGOTTEN RAINBOW

A JOB WELL DONE

TRACES OF WINTER

A SENSE OF BELONGING

NATURE’S SYMPHONY

A TREE DIVIDED

CONCEPTION OF SPRING

FALL FESTIVAL

THE VISIT

REMEMBER

IT’S PART OF GETTING THROUGH

THE ROOM OF REFUGE

TO SEE THE LIGHT

WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME

A NEW WAY OF LIFE

Dedication

This book is dedicated to those I love and have lost; my wonderful parents, Edward and Madeline Paiva, my dear grandparents Antone and Mary Paiva and Manuel and Elvira Furtado and my beloved dog Nitro.

This book is also dedicated to my children; my son Omer (O.J.), my daughters Jennifer and Jessica, to my grandchildren; Omer, Colin and Chloe Thibault and Landon Perriera and to my husband Chuck.

Also to my dear therapist and friend Pat Cashmore who encouraged me to share my poetry. And especially to my Uncle Eddy (Elvis) and Aunt Elaine Braga for all their help.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I’d like to acknowledge those that I love so much and that are still with me and helped me "Get Through" my tough times; my uncle Eddie (Elvis) Braga and my aunt Elaine Braga, my cousins Vicky, and Sharon, who were always ready with a helping hand and a friendly smile.

Uncle Eddie, thank you so much for your support and help, and Aunt Elaine who always called and still calls to see how I am doing, thank you both for having helped us financially on our trips back and forth to Boston. Thank you Aunt Elaine for helping me take care of Ma and for the levity and making Ma laugh and all the Ka-ching-Ka-ching times at the casinos. Uncle Eddie thanks for being Ma’s dance partner for all those years, and God be with you both, with your own trials and tribulations. I’d also like to thank their friend Dennis from the 700 Club for praying over Ma, in person and on the telephone.

Thank you to my Aunt Josephine Fostin, who was always there making meals, and running errands, doing a lot of the dirty work and showed me how to care for Ma. Thank you for cutting Ma’s hair when she was losing it and for making those beautiful scarves for her to wear when she lost it all. Thank you for all your support and visits (especially for taking the T just to be there in Boston with me).

To my dear sister-in-law Denise Paiva who was like another daughter to Ma and a sister to me, and for making Ma’s special Portuguese soup. Thank you Denise; for being there for Ma and us, and for being there right until the end. Thank you so much for your support and the thinking of you cards and the calls, and to her sister Debbie Stefanik who came with her to visit and put a smile on Ma’s face.

And to Troy Paiva my nephew and to my grandchildren O.J., Colin, and Chloe Thibault, Landon Perriera and my children Jennifer, Jessica and O.J., for visiting Naunnie, even though her eyes were closed and she was silent, she heard you all and she was happy you were there. A special thank you goes to my daughter Jessica for understanding why I spent so much time away from home to take care of Ma (Naunnie). I love you Angel, and I’m so proud of you. I know Naun and Grampa are proud too. I’d like to thank my husband Chuck (Omer), for taking over my duties allowing me to take care of Ma.

And to my brothers who all endure the same pain and were there with me and are still trying to get through; Scott (Edward) Paiva who was there through thick and thin at both the hospitals and at home. Ma and Dad would be so proud of you, becoming the patriarch of the family, and keeping the family holiday traditions alive. David Paiva who opened the bible and led a prayer over Ma when the priest wasn’t there for Ma’s last rites, thank you Dave for being so strong, and also for the poems you wrote for Ma and Dad. Wayne Paiva for retrieving some of the poetry I lost on the computer. And thank you so much, for all the great work you did on putting our pictures and music together on a CD for the funeral home and for making us our own copies. Ma and Dad would be really proud of the way it turned out. Thank you all for being there, all of us together with Ma, the way she wanted it.

And to my son O.J. and his fiancée Kim McDonald, who made a beautiful floral piece for the funeral. It was a replica of a slot machine with Mom’s picture in the prize box. It was lovely. Naunnie would have loved it.

I’d also like to acknowledge my aunt Geraldine Wilbur who has always been like a second mother to me. She is now battling Alzheimers Disease and was the inspiration for "Somewhere".

I’d also like to thank the Santos family (Ernie, Mary-Lou, Jesse, and Michelle) the owners of Dunk’n Munch and the staff; Gail, Debbie, Allie, and Dave who let me sit for what sometimes seemed like hours drinking coffee and writing. Thank you for the wonderful job you all did catering after Ma’s funeral, and the extra mile you put into it in delivering and setting up, easing some of my stress. Everything was excellent.

My dear friend Bernadette Cabral, thank you for being there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to or someone to just sit and have a coffee with.

I would also like to thank all the staff of the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Brigham and Womens Hospital, also to St. Annes and Hudnar Oncology staff. You were all very understanding and caring. I miss you all. You were my extended family that last year and a half.

A special thank you goes to Dr. David Jackman and Dr. Jonathan Carlson of Dana Farber for giving us extra time with Ma. Thanks to your help and of course, God’s grace, she was able to get to know her latest great-grandchild; Landon Perriera (son of Jennifer and Josh Perriera) who brought many smiles to her face in the short time they had together.

I’d also like to acknowledge the staff at Spinnaker Veterinary Clinic and at Bridgewater Veterinary Hospital for the care that they gave to Nitro. And to the extreme commitment from the doctors at Bridgewater Vets for searching all the hospitals in New England for Nitro’s medicine, thanks to you, he lived for eight more years. And to the staff at Angel View Memorial for the special and tender care and handling of Nitro and to the viewing service and the attentive care they gave to us. They truly understand that our pets are our family. And also to Arnie and Watson Costello from Watson’s Senior Pet Supplies for the Bottoms-Up Leash. Thanks to that leash, Nitro was able to get up and down the stairs and do his duty with ease and pride, before we got it, we were having to consider putting him down, and that’s something I am so glad we didn’t have to do. He passed on his own, when he was ready. I must also acknowledge Forever Paws Animal Shelter where we adopted Nitro and to Joyce Pissonault for making it happen.

A special acknowledgement to the woman I first shared my thoughts and poetry with, the woman who gave me the encouragement to go ahead and publish my poetry; my wonderful therapist who listens to my inner most feelings and thoughts throughout my grief process; Patricia Cashmore.

Last but not least, I’d like to acknowledge and thank Chuelsia De Carvalho author of SECRETS OF THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM for referring me to the Xlibris Corporation for the publication of this book. And to the staff at Xlibris, thank you.

PREFACE

This collection of poetry began as a journal that the author started after the death of her mother. She poured her innermost thoughts and feelings onto paper to help her get through this tough time in her life and shared them with her grief therapist. Her therapist was impressed with Sandra’s poetry, and suggested that she get them published and share them to help others in "Getting Through". Her