Caught with My Pants Down

By Carol Kleffner Petesch

Often we are placed in a situation for which we are not prepared. I found myself in that reality with no contingency plan in place. Not only did I lack the coping skills to handle it, but I also resented the fact that it did not fit into the perfect little world that I had envisioned. Little did I fully appreciate it at the time, but the most valued treasures are those that are obtained through great struggle. It is by the struggles I endured and the effort I put forth that I gained the wisdom to sift the chaff from the wheat.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 18, 2006
• ISBN: 9781465329561

Carol Kleffner Petesch

Carol learned early in her life how to cope with adversity. Those early values and coping skills made it possible for her to face Multiple Sclerosis that came in the prime of her life. She has chosen to laugh instead of cry at some of the experiences that she has encountered. Though she has had to change directions she was able to find a way of incorporating them into her life and adapting it to them. Much of this cook was written by using the erasure end of a pencil to tap the keys of the computer.

Book preview

Caught with My Pants Down

Carol Kleffner Petesch

Copyright © 2006 by Carol Kleffner Petesch.

Library of Congress Control Number:      2006903889

ISBN:      Hardcover      1-4257-1396-3

Softcover       1-4257-1395-5

ISBN:      ebk      978-1-4653-2956-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in

any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

34201

Contents

Prologue

Caught with My Pants Down

Come, Meet Our Family

The Place We Called Home

Our Quest for Knowledge

A Rude Awakening

Our Education Continues

Meeting the Man of My Dreams

Is It Too Late To Change My Mind?

Soaring to New Heights

Exploring New Territories

Bavaria a Favorite

A Baby or a Kuku Clock

Back to the Lower Forty-Eight

Ambiguous Symptoms

An Alaskan Adventure

From One Extreme to Another

On A Roll

Was It Fame or Infamy?

Back to Ground Zero

Friend or Foe

The Paper Trail

‘You Gave Me a Mountain’

Caregivers: the True Heroes

I Wouldn’t Change a Thing

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my mother

with her undaunted courage, tenacity and formidable wisdom.

A special thank you to brother Ora and Brenda

who helped with its writing,

and all the friends and family

who encouraged me to write it.

Prologue

Without fun and laughter, I could not have made it through the day. From childhood to the present I have made it a part of my very being. My siblings and I had the good fortune of having a mother with a marvelous sense of humor. It was a coping mechanism that would carry us through some very difficult and sometimes tragic situations. With all the adversity and problems she encountered in her own life, she could have easily given in to bitterness and resentment, but she courageously and calmly faced each new tribulation, went on and brought joy to so many lives. She was a role model, and consummate model of what every mother should be. I wished to be more like her and to have some of her nurturing instincts, sense of fun and creativity. She succumbed to the ravages of cancer in 1973. I still miss her and feel her presence and guidance to this day. When I encounter a difficult situation, I can ask myself, How would she have handled this? and work out an answer or a workable solution as she would have done.

We found out growing up that making games of the unpleasant tasks in life made them easier. Even in times of great sorrow, due to the loss of a loved one, we’d dredge up a good memory of that person to soothe our broken spirits. By seeking yet another solution when the first one didn’t work out as we had anticipated, we learned to cope. The undaunted spirit to search for another solution when the original did not succeed expanded our ingenuity. Though the solution wasn’t always conventional, we eventually found one that worked! All that our parents taught me the life-changing experiences I learned along the way and my ability to find something humorous in each situation have all contributed to making me who I am today.

Dad also had a great influence on our lives, as he was more adventuresome than Mom. Tired from all the chores, from working in the field and then taking care of the animals and chickens in the evening, he’d head for the old rocker. It didn’t take long before his lap was filled with kids, as we sat and listened to The Lone Ranger, Fibber McGee and Molly or The Shadow on the old battery operated radio. He also joined in many of our games, slid down our snow tunnels and always checked them for safety before we were allowed to enter. Being a gifted carpenter, he made us beautiful play furniture complete with a hutch, table and chairs when he couldn’t afford to buy them. He’d go out on the ice with us and go ice-skating. He was even more of a disciplinarian than Mom and taught us early the value of work ethics. We were indeed, very fortunate. We never questioned that we were greatly loved by both parents. He was a good businessman and made our small farm and ranch a success and a haven.

I continue to have a good productive life though it has been complicated by having Multiple Sclerosis. It was diagnosed in 1969 when I was 31 years old but I likely had it two years prior to that. My early background prepared me to cope with these changes in my life. As time went on the exacerbations, (episodes of increased symptoms) my condition deteriorated. As I write this book I am in secondary progressive MS and have been in a wheelchair since 1983.

In this book I tell you of my background before MS, and what life was like for me then. In part III, symptoms of MS start to emerge, and my life starts to change, though gradually. By sharing my story I hope that others will see how optimism and a can-do attitude can make the best of a difficult experience. The cover picture of me accidentally mooning in my wheelchair has become my logo because it sums up: You can always make adjustments in your life to accommodate your limitations and by adding humor to the situations you encounter make them more manageable.

Caught with My Pants Down

Often we are placed in a situation for which we are not prepared. I found myself in that reality with no contingency plan in place. Not only did I lack the coping skills to handle it, but I also resented the fact that it did not fit into the perfect little world that I had envisioned. Little did I fully appreciate it at the time, but the most valued treasures are those that are obtained through great struggle. It is by the struggles I endured and the effort I put forth that I gained the wisdom to sift the chaff from the wheat.

I learned compassion and empathy for those who experienced similar crosses. It took a lifetime of living and experiencing both losses and gains to fully appreciate my abundant blessings. I have learned not only from my own experiences, but also from those of others. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at age 31 in 1969. This was my test.

Not everything in life is a bed of roses. A deep and abiding faith sustains me. Family and friends give me courage and tenacity to fight on. I didn’t learn to cope overnight but after a lifetime of trials and errors. Some worked, some didn’t! I too had to go through the unpredictability of my future, the sorrow of something lost, Why me (self pity), anger and despair, and finally a resignation to do the very best I could with the capabilities I had left.

I continue to be very appreciative of my husband Gary, our attentive and caring three daughters and my support system. I appreciate greatly the blessing of being able to stay at home with familiar surroundings and great care. It enables me to be as constructive as I can. I look forward to each new day with eager anticipation and to the blessings it may hold.

Travel this journey with me, encountering obstacles, overcoming or accommodating them and marvel at the most influential people in my life and a milieu of a lifetime of experiences.

Come, Meet Our Family

Photo_01.jpg

Joe Kleffner weds Clara Goo

May 18, 1934

Our mother, Clara Goo, was the youngest of the four girls and had four brothers. Her father came to this country from Poland, (a heritage that I treasure and get in on jokes that I wouldn’t otherwise have) and settled with his family in the Wane area several miles from the small town of Belt to work in the coalmines. He lost his wife, Bernice when Mom was four years old. He kept the family together by hiring housekeepers and eventually married again. That union produced the youngest brother.

Mom was used to hard work as she worked at the Urseline Academy for room and board in order to get through high school. Upon graduation from high school she worked for her eldest brother Ed, on the family homestead near Belt. She would have liked to go to college to become a teacher but did not have the financial means to accomplish that dream. Love came along and interrupted that plan.

Little did she know how much her teaching would benefit those of us who had her as a mother, a 4-H leader and a representative to the Student Council? Her wisdom and knowledge made ever expanding ripples on our lakes of life. She was very nurturing and a consummate mother.

She stood only 5 feet tall. But to me she always seemed much taller. She adored babies, the younger the better. She loved to rock and cuddles them to her bosom and always had room, on her comfortable lap.

Our father, Joe Kleffner, was of German decent. He was the eldest of ten children so learned responsibility early in his life. He was sent to an orphanage when he was six years old in order to get a Catholic education as his mother was very religious. He was bewildered, as he spoke only German and didn’t know why he was sent to an orphanage when all of his siblings were able to stay home. He was somewhat placated when his second brother joined him under the same circumstances.

He was a strong and sturdy man, also used to hard labor and long days. He could be gruff and cranky at times but loved us unconditionally and could be loving, tender and devoted. Unfortunately, he never knew how much he was appreciated. He was very ambitious and self motivated and never shied away from hard work. He was a good businessman. He worked as a farm/ranch hand for a local farmer in the area. In 1934, they were married. After buying the old homestead I don’t remember him not having a project until his health gave out when he was in his 80s. He was constantly remodeling and making improvements to the property and kept the little farm well groomed. They left the ranch when Mom was in the final stages of cancer and they moved to Belt, Mt some 8 miles away.

Along Came the Kids

Photo_02.jpg

Gathering on the couch

I was preceded in the pecking order, by sister, Bernice (born in 1935) and brother, John (born in 1937) and followed by brother, Ora (born in 1939) all within a five-year period.

Bernice, being the eldest, was the most nurturing child of the four of us. She preferred housework to working outside. Timid by nature she needed family or friends around her. She was and continues to be very organized. She was The Keeper of the Keys and kept the family heirloom history.

John was sturdy, strong (like our father) and was always up for an adventure. He was shy and unassuming around people he did not know. Hunting and fishing and working out of doors appealed to him.

Both spring solstice and my birthday arrived on the 21st of March, 1938. I can remember little about that day, but Dad referred often to the late spring snowstorm that occurred that year. He was prevented from going to Great Falls for 10 days, (our nearest town with a hospital) to welcome Mom and me home as the drifting snow made the county roads impassible. My birth did not make the headlines, nor was it newsworthy to anyone outside the family, but the big snowstorm that year, heralded my arrival. I had to wait to meet my brother and sister and to see the ranch I was to call home for the next 22 years.

I was mischievous, (or just plain ornery) and a tomboy through and through. When our uncle Leo worked in the fields for our dad he would always tease and aggravate us. I took as much of it as I could and bided my time. When he lay down to take a brief nap, I took a piece of kindling from the coal bucket and whacked him over his head. I was a constant irritation for Ora. He was sick so often from hay fever, asthma and its complications, so couldn’t join in our games. Ora was a darling little blond boy (the only one of the four us to be blond), quiet and made up solo games when we were not his companions.

Photo_03.jpg

Tough times for Ora

It was an idyllic childhood filled with great fun, childish pranks and imaginative games. Though we lived with modest means we had each other as companions and sparring partners and parents that showered us with love and attention. Times were lean for us country folks but our childhood was golden.

Ora was imaginative and always liked a challenge. He was the most studious and graduated as a Chemical engineer. He showed these traits early, making and setting off a rocket when he was in high school.

Very early in life we paired off to pursue our various interests. I was a genuine tomboy and became very close to John as we shared the same interests: trapping gophers, fishing, catching frogs, mice or insects, hunting for ground hogs (marmots), hiking, swimming and building things. Bernice and Ora would play house together, while Ora would pull her in the little two-wheeled cart.

We were fiercely loyal and presented a united front when in public. This prompted the comment, My, how beautifully the children get along! I don’t know how you do it? Mom managed to keep a straight face and did not disclose that it wasn’t always that peaceful at home.

I must admit to having an antagonistic relationship with brother Ora. As a child he was plagued with allergies, eczema, and asthma so he spent many days down. But, I wanted to be where the action and activity were. Because Ora was not always included in our games, he created imaginary friends. They were called ‘Brownies’ and were his constant playmates. He built them elaborate roadways with over-passes and tunnels. Ignoring all the laborious hours he spent on them, I’d pretend that I was an earthquake or some other kind of disastrous catastrophe and I’d ‘inadvertently’ stumble through and trample them to the ground.

Always gracious Ora shared everything with the Brownies. I would trick him out of his share of the treats, like cake decorating sprinkles Mom carefully counted out so that each of us would get an equal number. I’d ask if he was going to be generous with his Brownies and offer to deliver the snacks to them. When out of his sight, I’d of course eat them myself.

When Ora and I were getting along we constructed houses of bricks made of clay that we had discovered by the creek. We used tiny pieces of wood as the roofs. They were furnished with moss for rugs and furnished with clay creations like tables, chairs and couches. Some had more than one room depending upon distractions that lured us into more enticing activities.

We learned responsibility by doing chores, raising pets and by everyone working together collectively to finish our chores so we had more free time to ‘play’. By living on the ranch/farm, being isolated and away from close neighbors, it made the bond between us that much closer. We didn’t always get along, however, as is typical of siblings, and thus had our fair share of fights, disagreements and scrapes, which were mostly verbal. These squabbles never lasted long and we’d soon be working together on another great adventure. What we didn’t have in material