Big Bad Copper

By Anne Lacey

Big Bad Copper is a book for all ages. The book personifies four beautiful felines living in their own feline body; but walking on two paws instead of four. Their world isnt much different than ours. They drive, and live full lives. They go to milk bars, have jobs and marry. The main character Copper has a past and a history of crime, he sold narcotics and in his world its catnip. Copper has an ego and attitude; but his side kick Simba is a sweet caring feline. Cat lovers will adore them and others will enjoy humor, and even shed a tear with them. Copper is a hard headed feline whom you eventually learn to love. Its a good read and will keep your interest until the end.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 8, 2010
• ISBN: 9781456801274

Anne Lacey

I ‘m a woman of 67 years of age, a wife of 40 years, a mother of a 39 year old son, and cat lover. I have four cats, Penelope is a 16 year old Tortoiseshell, Copper is a 12 years old Norwegian Forest , Isis is a 12 year old Tortoiseshell and Chipper is a 5 year old orange Tabby. I have worked most of my life and one day I found my life very empty, something was missing. I had quit school at the end of the sixth grade and went to work. Although, I was happy I suddenly had a desire to return. In 1998 I returned to the adult high school program and worked by day and studied at night. I graduated first in my class and was asked to give the graduation speech. In 2001 I entered Brookdale Community College and in 2005 I graduated with two associate degrees, one in English and the other in Speech. In 2006 I enrolled in New Jersey City University and graduated in 2010 with a Bachelors’ degree in English. Now I’m hoping to put my education to good use and write.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

Copper was a handsome male with long black hair and a white mustache. The girls went wild over him. But the only girl for him was Penelope. She had been arrested on drug charges and was sitting in the county cathouse hoping that Copper would come to save her.

Copper enjoyed having a few drinks, and every night you could find him at the local milk bar having a few. On one particular night while Copper was having a quick milk, two Toms approached him. Can we buy you a milk? asked one Tom.

I drink alone, said Copper.

So he thinks he’s too good to drink with us. What do you think? said one Tom to another. How good are you, Copper?

And with that remark Copper clawed the one Tom in the face.

The party had started, milk spilt all over the floor, turning the milk bar into an instant hockey rink without the sticks and pucks. Screeching meows and howls pierced the room. Copper and the Toms bashed each other in the head, bashed, bashed, bashed so hard they started seeing double and triple of one another. It was two against one, and yet they looked as if they were having a ball.

All of a sudden someone shouted.

Copper! Stop in the name of the law! You are under arrest. It was Sheriff Purina. I’m taking you in for disturbing the peace.

Copper did not want to buy time-shares in prison. He already had warrants out for his arrest in Flea County for hijacking the Nine Lives truck and in Worms County for driving under the influence. He realized that his arrest in Feline County would send him to the big kitty house for at least twenty years. Copper became nervous; his whiskers started to twitch. He smelled trouble. Then he saw an opportunity to escape through an opened window; he leaped out and ran as far as he could.

The Toms were scratching in the litter station when Prosecutor Calico walked in. I heard there was trouble this evening. You boys have been real busy. Y’all made quite a mess at the milk bar. Wanna tell me about it? drawled Calico.

No, replied Tom.

Really. Well, let me lay out the rules for you boys. If you tell me where to find Copper, I might forget about tonight. If you don’t tell us what we want to know, I will assume you are working with him, and I will put you away for the rest of your natural lives. How’s that for a deal? We don’t want you; it’s Copper we want.

We don’t know zilch. He has friends, and they will make sure that some of our nine lives are up. We’re not talking, said one of the Toms.

Tired and hungry, Copper needed a place to hide. He stopped running when he noticed an open Cats ’R Us. He sneaked behind a cluttered litter box display and hid until closing. He called his partner Simba, telling him to get a truck and bring it around the back of Cats ’R Us. Once Simba arrived; they began to load up the truck with scratching posts and a few hundred pounds of pure catnip. Once loaded, they found an old abandoned house near the outskirts of town and settled in for the night.

In the morning they drove out to see Meow Mix, the only fence they knew. He bought any kind of merchandise without any question and did not care where it came from. Simba and Copper both knew that by now they were wanted in Feline County. It was past ten A.M. and they figured that by now Cats ’R Us would have discovered the robbery. Sheriff Purina would have figured out who committed the crime and the law would be looking for them. They had to get away.

The catnip paid off real good. They needed to get some wheels; they went out to the Johnny Cat car dealer to purchase a car and escape the state of confusion and Feline County.

Wait! shouted Copper as they were leaving Johnny Cat’s in their new Cougar.

Wait for what? screamed Simba.

We can’t leave without Penelope.

Are you plumb loco or just nuts? If we don’t leave now you know what’s going to turn into grass, don’t you? I am not going to jail for some dumb lady feline who sniffs catnip and is dumb enough to get caught.

You’re talking about my girl and, anyway, we need her.

We need her, why?

She has the money to get us out to Catsville where there are farms and so many cats live out that way that three more would never be noticed.

I know you’re crazy, but Copper, this is insane. We will never be able to pull this scheme off and get away with our lives intact. I don’t know about you, Copper, but as for me, I’m working on my ninth life and want to keep it.

Trust me, demanded Copper. I have got you out of jams before and I will get us out of this one too. Simba, are you going to help me or not?

Aw, for Pete’s sake here we go again, whimpered Simba.

Copper had some pure catnip left over. He had planned on making the guards real happy at the cathouse but he had one problem—how to get inside the cathouse to rescue Penelope. Simba, let’s go back to the milk bar.

You can’t be serious about this; you know they are looking for us, so please tell me why in the world would we go back there? Unless you have a death wish and if you do, you are mad as a hatter. I don’t have a death wish. I am too young to die.

We need to get in the cathouse through a back window and the bar provides such a window, snarled Copper.

There’s one in the storage room where the litter station is?

It faces out to the back of the jail. We can use that window and climb out to a tree and get as close as possible, replied Copper.

This is not going to work. Do you really think that no one is going to see or recognize us? Even if we are lucky to get as far as the litter station and someone is in there, what are you going to say? ‘Oh, don’t bother to pick up your pants for us. We are only passing through’ ?

Copper shared some of his friend’s alarm. I have a great idea, he shouted

That’s when I really get scared, when your ears and hair stand up; I know a light went on. Simba sat down and crossed his paws. What?

You know the Fivel Goes West movie? They have some real bad longhaired whisker dudes. The town goes out and brings in hired help. So Fivel goes in and cleans up the town. Copper licked one paw in utter satisfaction.

Where are you going to find Fivel? And if you haven’t noticed, we are the real bad longhaired whisker dudes. Do you really want to have another claw out? Man, are you real sick in the head? Those Toms really banged up your brains for sure, didn’t they?

You’re a real dingbat Simba, a piece of work. I was thinking of contacting Kit Kat. He is very good in disguising himself and not a soul will recognize him.

You hope, Simba sniffed.

With that remark, Copper stopped and called Kit Kat. Kit answered the phone. Copper told him the situation. Kit Kat knew most of it from the Feline County Press, the local paper in town. He told Copper to be at the Cats Scan Parkway, exit 100. He would meet them at midnight.

Copper and Simba had a few hours to spare and they were hungry and tired. They took a slow ride over to Sheppard County, where they felt a little more secure. Knowing that their pictures would be everywhere, they figured another county was the best place to go. It turned out to be a good idea; it would give them more time to relax. They walked into a place called Bones Chow Good Eats. The place was full of smoke but everyone was busy chewing and drinking spring water; they never noticed two criminals. Copper and Simba ordered a few milks and a couple of T-bones. They ate and paid the check. They wanted to keep a low profile, so they left. The time was getting late and off to the exit they went to wait. It was past twelve, and they were getting anxious, but Kit Kat was reliable and so they waited. It was an hour later but finally Kit showed up.

Hello, Copper, said Kit. I’ll do the job but the price is high.

How much is high?

Five bags of catnip, Kit demanded.

It’s a done deal. Copper was not worried, for he knew he had saved that much or more from the last job.

Do you know where I live? asked Kit.

Yes, in Vet County.

You boys need a place to stay, I can put you up until we get her out, Kit offered.

Thanks, you’re a good pal. So off they went to Vet County.

The boys and Kit stayed up most of the night planning the strategies. Kit was going as a pastor. This identification would get him through the front gate without a problem. It would take a few days to set it up. They had to find a counterfeiter who would supply a clergy identification card. Only one name came up, a sleazy old male named Rover who lived in Sheppard County. Rover was a drooling, greedy canine who never had had any respect for the law

Rover told Kit Kat the ID would be ready in a few days and that he even had a clergy robe for him. Rover was a shady character; he explained to Kit that he only did business at night. He would need at least three days to have it all together. So they had three nights to wait before Kit could pick up the goods. Copper was afraid to hang out for three days in Vet County. He knew Sheriff Purina was out there just waiting for him to make a wrong move.

Don’t sweat it. You and Simba can stay in the house, and I will go get some good stuff to eat, explained Kit.

Great, just don’t forget a few six packs of milk, so we can watch the game, answered Copper.

It was a Sunday night, and the Long Hairs were playing the Short Hairs for the world championship game. They didn’t want to miss it. Kit returned with a few pounds of hamburgers, cat treats, and three six packs of milk. After they ate, they settled down with their treats and milk to enjoy the game. Three days went by very slowly. Copper did not like to stay indoors but dared not to go out. He was starting to feel like some caged animal. After one more day, Rover would have everything ready, and Kit could help save Copper’s girl. Copper hoped that he would have Penelope back safe with him and be able leave on Thursday night. Night was a better time to travel for them, for it would be harder to detect them on the road.

Finally the day arrived when Rover was supposed to get word to Kit. But by midnight they had not heard one word from Rover. This was very upsetting to the three of them. Copper felt time was running out for him. Kit wasn’t that overjoyed about harboring criminals in his home even if he was an outlaw himself. Kit Kat was getting annoyed, so he drove out to see Rover.

Oh, it’s you, Rover snarled.

I was under the impression that you were going to get word to me, said Kit.

We had a bit of a problem. Sheriff Barker was over my place asking all kind of questions. He wanted to know if I knew anything about Copper and Simba or did anyone try to contact me. I told him no. There is a price on their furry heads so I got to thinking, see, you ain’t never told me why y’all needed them things. So do tell, or should I?

Kit thought about it and said, How much for your silence?

It will cost you fifty pounds of IAMS.

IAMS, IAMS what?

Don’t you fur balls know anything? asked Rover. I’m talking Milk Bones.

Where am I going to find all those Milk Bones?

That’s not my problem. It’s yours. Just get them by tomorrow night or I get the Sheriff.

Copper and Simba listened as Kit explained the conversation and the problem.

Oh, I knew something would go wrong; my corns were hurting my paws all day, Simba whimpered.

Shut up and let me think, shouted Copper.

Copper told Kit to take his van, and the three of them would drive out to Alpo County to a warehouse called Milk and More. They would wait until closing for everyone to leave. Then they would find a way inside the door. It was a two and a half hour drive, but by the time they arrived the store began to close. They parked across the street and waited. When Copper was sure all was clear, he pushed a window open and went in to open the garage doors. They pulled the van inside and loaded up fifty pounds or more of Milk Bones, then drove home.

On the way home they stopped to pick up a few pork chops and a couple of six packs of milk. Then they went home for some dinner. They watched the news with anchorman Morris and then went to bed. They really did not get much sleep, for they were worried about Rover. He had a mean streak and a bad attitude. In the past he was known to have swindled and deceived others. They had not concerned themselves about the robbery—it was Milk Bones, and the law wouldn’t link the boys to the crime, not for a while, anyway.

In the morning they called Rover to set up a good time for the exchange to take place, and they agreed after midnight would be good. Copper had a bad feeling, so over a couple of milks the three of them discussed the matter. Kit knew that Copper’s gut feeling was pretty much on the dime; he felt the same way.

Why not get a patsy and send him, said Simba.

A good idea, replied Kit.

What about you, Copper, are you in agreement with us? asked Simba.

Let’s do it, but who are we going to get? answered Copper.

Kit gave it a lot of thought and said, We need someone who is fast and can smell danger. We will need a car that can’t be traced.

Good idea, and where do you think you will find super cat? asked Simba.

How about the next best thing—a canine? Kit suggested. He’ll fit in with them. Perhaps with some luck he will get the goods as well. He lives in the State of Friskies in Tabby County. His name is Max Bull.

You don’t mean Senator Bull’s son? replied Copper, his eyes narrowing.

I sure do, said Kit. He owes me big time. Way back when we were just kids Max had too much to drink—that milk can do you in when you are young and not a feline. I sobered him up, made him drink water so his dad wouldn’t find out. His dad was running for senator; a drunken son would have not looked too good in the feline early edition of the Press.

Kit called Max and had a long discussion over the details. Max agreed to catch the next plane out of Friskies. He then would go to the Johnny Cat dealer, rent a car, drive over to Alpo County, and watch for any kind of set up.

Around seven hours later Max arrived and rented a car under a false name. He parked one block over and waited. He did not have to wait very long. Two hours later several police cars pulled around back of Rover’s house, but to Max’s surprise, Rover came out in pawcuffs.

Max felt a little relieved that he would not have to deal with Rover. Rover was gone for a while; Max decided he was going to look around and perhaps try to get inside. He hoped with some luck he might sniff out the robe and clergy identification card. He looked around the property, saw that it was clear, went to the front door, and knocked. He wanted to be sure that there was no one around and proceeded to slip through an open window. Once Max was in, he started to search everywhere.

He opened a closet door, went through all the hanging clothing, checked coat pockets. He found nothing. Taking down all the boxes from the shelves, he looked through them, still finding nothing. Max started to close the closet door when he noticed a big green box sitting on the closet floor. He pulled it out and opened the box. When he looked inside he found a preacher’s black robe. The most important part was still missing, the identification. Max looked everywhere, emptied all the drawers, reached under furniture, and came up with nothing. He was getting ready to leave when he looked up and noticed a small envelope taped to the ceiling. Climbing on a chair he reached up and pulled down the envelope. He opened it. Yee-haw, now that’s sweeter than milk! I found it! Found it! He sang all the way to the car.

A few hours later he arrived in Vet County and knocked on Kit’s door.

Max, it’s good to see you, come on in. I just put some T-bone steaks on the fire. Go grab a cold milk from the refrigerator. I think you know Copper and Simba? said Kit.

Only what I read in the papers. I’m real pleased to meet you. You really have been busy boys lately, growled Max, looking at the expressions on Copper and Simba’s faces. He noticed their hair was standing up. Oh, you two have nothing to fear from me. I’m not a hundred percent clean either, or I wouldn’t be here. I believe in live and let live. You know what I’m saying?

You bet. We feel the same way, replied Copper, extending a paw.

They ate and enjoyed a game of Go Fish. It became late so Max stayed the night. The next morning Max left; Copper gave him as many boxes of Milk Bones as he could carry. They still had many boxes of Bones left. Kit took the remainder of the boxes and dropped them off at an obedience school for dogs. Max was on the plane back to the State of Friskies and Tabby County.

It had been more than a week since they tried to put this plan in action. Now there was work to be done. So that afternoon they worked on their plans to try and figure out how they would get Penelope out of the cathouse.

They needed a soft gym bag; fortunately Simba had one in back of the car. Kit took the bag and punched holes for breathing. Now they were just about ready.

The next morning was a Wednesday, and it was visiting day. That’s what Kit had wanted. It would be a busy day with felines, buses, and cars. Kit checked out the robe and ironed out the wrinkles. Then he went to get his black dress shoes, for everything had to look authentic. He looked at the identification and it read: Pastor Tails, Holy Cat Fancy Church. He knew he would be searched, so he took the bag and put in candy, a prayer book, and some clean clothes. He told Copper to meet him at the Cats Scan Parkway, exit 100. Kit knew that the part he was portraying would need time. A good minister would take time with anyone one who wanted to pray.

Kit Kat got in his car and drove off to the cathouse. Around 2 p.m., Pastor Tails walked up to the gate.

Good afternoon, Pastor, said the guard. I have never seen you here before.

You are correct, answered Kit. I arrived just last week to serve a new congregation and feel that I was called to spend time with distressed felines that have no visitors.

Please, Pastor, go right in and have the bag ready and opened at the door. Kit went to the door where another guard checked the bag out. The guard let him in. Kit walked around, smiling at the felines. He had seen Penelope once before, but it had been a while ago. Kit hoped he would remember her. He stopped to speak with other felines, so it would not look like he paid attention to just one. He looked over to one corner of the room and noticed a beautiful brown and gold tortoiseshell feline sitting alone and crying.

Walking up to her he said, May I sit down?

Yes, said the feline.

What is your name and why are you crying, my child?

Penelope is my name. I am so lonely. I have been waiting for the one I love. His name is Copper. I guess he doesn’t love me anymore. I really can’t blame him. Who would want to come to a dump like this?

You are very wrong about him. That’s why I’m here.

You know Copper? she asked.

Yes, Penelope, I do. You must listen to me very carefully. I am not a pastor. I am surprised you don’t recognize . . .

I do now, she interrupted. You’re Kit Kat, Copper’s friend.

That’s right. Copper sent me here to rescue and bring you back to him. It’s important that you do exactly as I tell you.

I will.

Good, let us start with you not being so happy. Go back to being sad.

How are you going to get me out?

When they call visiting hours over, there will be a lot of visitors starting to leave. You will jump in the gym bag. Understand what I am saying?

Yes.

There was another hour to go before visiting hours were over. Kit told her to sit and wait, for he was going to saunter around and talk to the other felines. He didn’t want to look suspicious by spending too much time with one prisoner. However, Penelope was feeling very frightened, and as much as she wanted to get out she was afraid of something going wrong. Her sentence was up in six months; she knew getting caught escaping would only add more time to her sentence. She watched Kit as he walked around. He looked calm, cool, and very much in control.

Then the whistle went off, and the announcement was made that visiting hours would be over in ten minutes. Penelope’s heart started to race, her nose became warm, she felt her body weaken and her throat felt like it was closing. Penelope started to feel a cold sweat come over her. It was time. Kit came over to Penelope as if to say goodbye. He made out as though he was praying with her but watched the situation around him. He was waiting for a diversion, a mass of felines at the gate, so the guards would be watching everyone leave and take their eyes off of him.

Suddenly, all the visitors were saying goodbye. All the guards were busy at the front gate. Kit told Penelope to jump in the bag. She did. Kit told her to hide under the clothes. She did. Kit told her not to make a sound. She didn’t. He picked up the gym bag and started to head for the front gate. He really wasn’t nervous but still he was concerned. What if they take a head count before he got through the front gate? Or perhaps they wanted to dump out the bag, to check it again? Kit finally went through the front door; now only the gate was left. As Kit approached, the guard asked, Well, Pastor Tails, how was your first visit here?

It went well; I met some nice females that I think I can help. I will be back again. Have a good day.

And the same to you, Pastor.

Once out of the gate, Kit walked at a steady pace. He could feel eyes watching him. If he walked faster he was afraid they would ask questions that he would not want to answer. He opened the car door. He put the bag in the back seat. It remained closed for the rest of the trip. He drove straight to Cats Scan Parkway to meet Copper and Simba, stopping only at the milk bar litter station to ditch his disguise.

He walked out from the station and sat at the bar. He felt a little relieved that the plan had gone well up to now. His nerves started to calm. He was hoping the worst was over. As he sat at the bar enjoying his cold milk, Kit heard the alert siren go off at the tower. This was warning the town of an escape that had taken place. Kit knew all major roads would be closed. He slowly walked out from the bar, keeping a low profile. Then he drove to the first phone that he saw, hoping Copper was still home.

Simba picked up the phone, and Kit told him they had to change roads.

Do you know the old abandoned highway?

The one they replaced with the parkway?

Yes, that’s the one, replied Kit. It’s almost 6 p.m. and dark, meet me at seven near the swamp.

That should work, said Simba. Now all four felines were anxious. Penelope wanted out of the bag, for her kidneys were about to explode. She was hungry, thirsty, and scared. Penelope had heard the siren and knew it sounded for her.

Kit wanted this ordeal to be over. He wanted his house back to himself. Kit had been a bachelor all his life; he wanted to return to his simple quiet life. Copper and Simba wanted this whole thing over as well. The longer they stayed in Feline County, the more dangerous it got, and they could be captured.

Copper turned to Simba and said, You know if we can get out of this alive, I think I’m going to get married. I’m getting too old for this criminal life. I am tired of running and getting chased from county to county.

Simba looked at Copper and laughed.

What’s so funny? Copper snarled.

You are. I would rather have Sheriff Purina chase me than some dumb female. When you get married, you do all the chasing.

How’s that? remarked Copper.

Simple. Penelope will scream and rave. You will chase the kittens, Simba laughed again.

Perhaps I’ll think about it a little longer, grinned Copper, twitching his whiskers. They scampered to the car laughing and started out for the swamp. Kit was already there and waiting for them. Copper held out his paw to shake with Kit. How can I ever repay this debt that I owe you? asked Copper

By not getting caught. Now get out of here. I hate long goodbyes.

Simba thanked him for everything; Penelope kissed Kit with tears in her eyes.

They got into the car with Simba at the wheel and Copper holding his precious Penelope in his arms once more. They turned, waved to Kit and drove out of Feline County. They were heading for the State of Catsville and a new life.

CHAPTER 2

Bad Boys Go Under

Copper and Simba along with Penelope remained in hiding for the next five years. They were outlaws with a $50,000 reward for their capture hanging over their heads. They had been residing on a small farm in the State of Catsville. Copper and Penelope married the previous year; Simba had married a feline named Isis just six weeks ago. They tried to keep a low profile for they were wanted for hijacking, robbery, breaking, and entering, and escaping from the cathouse, among other offenses. Times were hard, but they were happy enough and free. They had planned to stay that way. But one day someone knocked on their door. The fear from their past was about to enter their lives.

Who can that be? Not a soul knows we are here, cried Penelope.

Somebody does, said Isis.

Who knows we are here? yelled Simba.

"Well now, I have a great idea! We could play Let’s Make A Deal. Or bid on door number one or an open window. Another alternative is open door number one to see who is behind it," smirked Copper being his own sarcastic self.

The knock came again.

What are you all staring at? Do I have to do everything? Nothing has changed much in five years. Simba, you are still a dingbat. With that same smirk on his face, Copper went to answer the door.

May I help you? asked Copper.

I don’t think so, but we can help you, declared a beautiful red haired feline.

Copper started to laugh and replied, Do I look like I need help? Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying. So have a nice day—elsewhere.

Not so fast, said a middle aged canine who had just come up the steps. Let us introduce ourselves. I’m Lieutenant Mackenzie, and this is my partner, Sergeant Dancer. We are from the F.C.I. Feline and Canine Investigations. Could we have a word with you? We know who you are. We know Simba and Penelope as well. May we speak with all of you?

Copper was very surprised and asked, How did you find us?

We have known where you been hiding for twelve weeks. We have been watching you all this time. Simba, do you remember the night you went to the milk bar alone? You began speaking to Isis and then you started to date her. She came and told us about you and how we could find all of you. We used this opportunity to plant Isis undercover, so we could keep everyone under surveillance. Simba, you made a mistake. Isis is one of us. The one thing we didn’t count on was you two falling in love and running off to get married. She is an agent, explained Agent Dancer.

Oh, that’s just beautiful, wonderful, exquisite, leave it to Simba to screw everything up, shouted Copper. He glared at Simba. I can’t trust you for one minute. The night I don’t go out to babysit and watch what you are doing, you get into trouble. How could you bring this dumb broad into my home, and an agent of the law? What kind of idiot are you?

Now just you wait a minute, I remember a time you almost got us killed over a dumb broad. I’m not the one married to a jailbird, countered Simba, his voice quivering.

"Are you calling Penelope a jailbird as in convict? He is calling Penelope a jailbird. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. A jailbird! Well, maybe that’s true, but Penelope doesn’t ever need