Alphabetically Alliterative Collection of Corny Compositions

By Bernice Zakin

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 29, 2010
• ISBN: 9781453579008

Bernice Zakin

Bernice Zakin is a retired interior designer who has always had literary ambitions. She has now written 8 books which include 2 books of light verse, 4 books of fairly humorous essays, one memoir and one travel book. This current publication is an additional collection of humorous essays. Bernice lives on Long Island, New York as well as Palm Beach, Florida and can be reached via email at [e-mail].

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Copyright © 2010 by Bernice Zakin.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2010913906

ISBN:   Hardcover   978-1-4535-7899-5

ISBN:   Softcover   978-1-4535-7898-8

ISBN:   Ebook   978-1-4535-7900-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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86935

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

HOW IT ALL STARTED

A

B

C 1

C 2

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

DEDICATION

Always to the memory of my late husband Albert Zakin

To my children Nancy and Jeff, and Barbie and Ken

All my grandchildren: Lizzie and Jon, Carly and Peter, Andy and Dana, David and Susan, Kenny and Alison and Debbie and Michael

Finally my great grandchildren: 13 in number and who are not to be slighted but are too numerous to name individually

(I do know their names however!)

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

To Elise Alarimo, indispensable and a major help to me throughout the entire production of this book. Thank you, Thank you!!

To XLibris for doing their job with such dedication once again

HOW IT ALL STARTED

How many of you have ever given a thought to the letter Z. I’m sure you know it comes at the end of the alphabet and is known as the 26th letter but it also has much more significance.

It is truly unique, although much maligned. As for instance, very few stationary stores will stock the letter Z on anything. Handkerchiefs ignore the Z’s, and articles of clothing that come alphabetized never have Z’s.

Children whose last name starts with a Z are relegated to the last row in school rooms, where they can hardly see the blackboard and mostly have to wear glasses.

Very often if a Z starts a surname the person having it is the last one to be called when it comes to selections of any kind.

Z people are almost like lepers, they are isolated and hardly ever mentioned like other letters, such as Do You Know Your ABC’s or Mind Your P’s and Q’s or she has the Big C or even just G Whiz or L ementary My Dear Watson.

Also people who speak New Yorkese will say dese, dems and dose using the letter D instead of TH—and we believe taxi drivers are most guilty of Dis.

Of course we must mention the F letter which is equally condemned, it is allowed in motion pictures, but not on TV or in newspapers, especially if it has three particular letters next to it. However F is certainly more prevalent than Z’s.

H is used instead of an expletive such as what the H are you doing and next comes I which is the ego letter. Most people repeat that letter many times a day, they say I did this, "I love