We Should've Never Had Sex!: My Journey in Egypt

By Benjamin Phillip Alexander

Surprisingly enough, while most books written glorify and praise the pleasures of sex. Mr. Alexander explores the darker side of sex. He describes in chronological order, detailed accounts of how he suffer chronic depression and suicide as well as emotional and financial instability as a result of being a sex slave! Very common to most however Ben was living a secret struggle. He had multiple sex partners while practicing and professing christianity. Make no mistake, the events, time, and locations, as well as the pain, shame, torment, depression, are real life accounts. This is the beginning of Bens freedom towards a life style of celibacy and destroying the cycle of sexual bondage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 5, 2007
• ISBN: 9781462828234

Benjamin Phillip Alexander

BENJAMIN P. ALEXANDER IS A LICENSE REAL ESTATE AGENT SPECIALIZING IN TIME SHARE SALES IN THE ORLANDO AREA. MR. ALEXANDER IS THE FOUNDER AND SENIOR ADVISOR OF A CONSULTING BUSINESS WHICH PROVIDES SERVICES IN CREDIT ANALYSIS AND REPAIR AS WELL AS HOME IMPROVEMENTS. HE IS A GRADUATE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL FLORIDA CONSERVATORY THEATRE WITH A BACHELOR OF ARTS DEGREE IN THEATRE WITH A CONCENTRATION IN PERFORMANCE. IN HIS SPARE TIME, HE WEIGHT TRAINS, WRITES, OFFERS FREE CLASSES ON BUDGET /FINANCE AND IS ACTIVE IN MINISTRY. HE PRESENTLY LIVES IN THE METRO ORLANDO AREA

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WE SHOULD’VE NEVER

HAD SEX!

My Journey In Egypt

BENJAMIN PHILLIP ALEXANDER

Copyright © 2007 by Benjamin Phillip Alexander.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

34269

Contents

TRAVEL AGENTS

FIRST TRIP

AMTRAK

NON-STOP

GREYHOUND

NINE STOPS BEFORE HOME

GREYHOUND

TRANSFER FIVE STOPS BEFORE ARRIVAL

GREYHOUND CONTINUED

NEW PASSENGER FIVE STOPS BEFORE ARRIVAL

GREY HOUND CONTINUED

CHANGE DRIVERS FIVE STOPS BEFORE ARRIVAL

THE CONCORD

TO SOON, TOO FAST, TOO QUICK AND TOO MUCH

THE CONCORD CONTINUED

TO SOON, TOO FAST, TOO QUICK AND TOO MUCH MORE COMPANY

TWO-YEAR HIATUS

THE CARRIAGE OF FIDELITY

TWO-YEAR HIATUS

THE CARRIAGE OF FIDELITY REARVIEW MIRROR

TWO-YEAR HIATUS

MINI CRUISE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

TRAVEL AGENTS

IT WAS MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND EVERY ONE WAS DOING EVERYTHING HE OR SHE WAS BIG AND BAD ENOUGH TO DO. I MEAN EVERYTHING! I REMEMBER TALKING TO THIS GIRL WHO AT THE TIME WAS IN THE NINTH GRADE AND IT APPEARED TO ME THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT AND TURN OUT SHE WAS. THAT WAS NOT AS SHOCKING AS SHE TOLD ME THAT WAS HER SECOND CHILD. I SAID TO MYSELF, DAMN! HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU HAD THE FIRST ONE? YOU ARE ONLY THIRTEEN! I WAS SEVENTEEN AT THE TIME AND STILL A VIRGIN. IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND ABOUT WHY I HAD NOT HAD SEX LIKE SO MANY WERE DOING AT THE TIME.

I MEAN PEOPLE WERE SKIPPING CLASS JUST TO GO HAVE SEX. EVERY PERSON I RAN INTO WAS HAVING SEX, AND THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT IT AS IF IT WAS THE LOCAL NEWS. I RECALLED A COMMENT, WHICH WAS MADE BY A LEADER ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM. HE SAID, WE RAN THIS TRAIN ON THIS GIRL. NOW BEING NAÏVE AND UNINVOLVED I HAD NO IDEA WHAT RUNNING A TRAIN MEANT. A TRAIN AS THEY CALLED IT IS WHEN A GROUP OF GUYS TOOK TURNS HAVING SEX WITH ONE GIRL. WOW! THAT’S NOT AS SURPRISING AS WHEN THE GIRLS FOUND OUT WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY ARE ONLY GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ONE GUY AS ARRANGED AND DISCOVERED THAT FIVE OR MORE GUYS WHERE HIDING IN THE CLOSET. TO EMBARRASSED THAT THE OTHERS WHERE WATCHING, AND SO IT WON’T GET OUT THAT SHE SKIPPED CLASS TO HAVE SEX, THEY ALLOW THE GUYS TO TAKE THEIR TURNS HAVING THEIR FREE FOR ALL DURING LUNCH BREAK WELL INTO THE END OF THE DAY. PERSONALLY, I WAS SCARE TO HAVE SEX. I MEAN VERY SCARED! I REMEMBER BEING IN THE TENTH GRADE AND THIS GIRL WHOSE NAME WAS DEBORAH HAWKINS WAS ATTRACTED TO ME. SHE WAS EIGHTEEN, 5’ 8 IN,

VERY SILKY DARK SKIN, SHORT BLACK HAIR, WIDE HIPS, SLANTED EYES, A BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND OBVIOUSLY INFATUATED WITH ME. EVERY TIME I LOOKED UP, SHE WAS THERE. WE FREQUENTLY KISSED BETWEEN CLASSES. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHY? I WAS AN UNPOPULAR UNDER CLASSMEN, WHY WOULD SHE BE INTERESTED IN ME? NOW A CERTAIN PART OF ME ENJOYED THE ATTENTION, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE OLDER GUYS SAW US TOGETHER. HOWEVER, I NEVER KNEW HOW TO RESPOND TO HER. I FELT VERY POWERLESS. I NEVER KNEW WHAT TO SAY TO HER OR WHAT TO DO. I HAD NO IDEA TO WHAT WAS RIGHT OR WRONG. TOTALLY CLUELESS! ONE DAY AFTER SCHOOL, SHE INVITES ME TO WALK HOME WITH HER, AND I DID. JUST OFF SCHOOL GROUNDS, SHE SAYS NO ONE WAS HOME AND WANTED ME TO COME OVER.

I FREAKED OUT! MY STOMACH FELT TIGHT, MY HEAD FELT LIGHT, I SAID, WAIT I NEED TO GO BACK TO THE SCHOOL. SHE ASKED, WHY? I SAID, MY FRIEND NEEDS ME, WE HAVE SOMETHING WE HAVE TO DO. I TURNED AROUND AND STARTED WALKING AWAY, VERY QUICKLY!

I NEVER TOLD ANY ONE BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE CALLED ME PUNK, OR SISSY, SO I KEPT QUIET. SHE NEVER ASKED ME AGAIN. I WAS NEVER SO NERVOUS IN MY LIFE! I NEVER WANTED TO HAVE SEX, NEVER! I WAS TOO AFRAID OF A DISEASE, OR GETTING SOMEONE PREGNANT! MOREOVER, I SAID, THAT’S FOR ADULTS! HOWEVER ALL THAT CHANGED TOWARDS CHRISTMAS OF MY SENIOR YEAR.

FIRST TRIP

IT WAS THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS OF 1987. I WAS POPULAR THEN! LATER ON I WOULD BECOME PROM KING AND MOST HUMOROUS IN THE SENIOR CLASS. I HAD WRITTEN SONGS AND PERFORMED IN TALENT SHOWS. I WAS EVEN INVITED TO PERFORM AT ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLE SCHOOL TALENT SHOWS AS A GUEST. WOW! UNBELIEVABLE AT SEVENTEEN! I WAS ON TOP OF THE WORLD. I WAS INVITED TO EVERY PARTY; ACTUALLY,

IT WAS NOT A PARTY UNLESS I WAS INVITED. I WAS KNOWN FOR MY JOKES, MY SONGS, BUT MOST OF ALL I WAS A DANCE MACHINE! BOY DID I LOVE TO DANCE. I EVEN PERFORMED A SONG ENTITLED MR. BIG STUFF FOR THREE NIGHTS TO A CROWD OF MORE THAN FIVE HUNDRED PEOPLE EACH NIGHT! THE FOLLOWING YEAR,

I HAD PERFORMED IN A LARGE POPULAR NIGHT CLUB! THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WERE THERE! THE PERFORMANCE WAS BROADCASTED LIVE OVER THE RADIO! YES, BABY! WHAT COULD BE BETTER! WELL, I DID NOT REALLY HAVE A GIRL FRIEND. AS POPULAR AS I WAS,

I STILL HAD NOT HAD SEX OR BARELY KISSED A GIRL. I STARTED TO QUESTION MY MASCULINITY AND BECAME CURIOUS. I MET THIS ONE GIRL WHO’S NAME WAS CALLED NIKKI OWES. NIKKI WAS SOMEONE I NEVER CONSIDERED HAVING SEX WITH. ONE REASON, SHE SEEMED TO ABOUT AS NERVOUS AND CLUELESS AS I WAS. I MEAN WHEN WE ATTEMPTED TO KISS IT FELT LIKE TWO WOOD PECKERS TRYING TO KISS. IN ADDITION, SOME WAY SOME HOW I BELIEVED WE WERE RELATED SO NOTHING HAPPEN. THEN I MET LAKOTA WOODS. NOW LAKOTA WAS NOT ATTRACTIVE AT ALL. I MEAN TALL AND SHAPELESS, KNOT KNEED, CHICKEN LEGS, AND COKE BOTTLE EYE GLASSES. I SIT BACK NOW AND TELL MY SELF, DAMN YOU WERE DESPERATE!!! WELL LAKOTA WAS IN COMMUNITY COLLEGE WHILE I WAS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WE HAD TALKED SEVERAL TIMES OVER THE PHONE AND ONE EVENING SHE INVITED OVER HER HOUSE. I HAD NO CAR AT THE TIME SO I CAUGHT THE CITY BUS. I ARRIVED AT HER HOUSE ABOUT AN HOUR LATER, AND I WAS IMPRESSED. SHE HAD A BEAUTIFUL HOME, WELL RATHER HER PARENTS. SHE INTRODUCED ME TO HER PARENTS, SHE GAVE ME A TOUR OF THE HOUSE, AND I EVENTUALLY ENDED UP IN WHAT WAS THE FAMILY ROOM ON THE SOFA. I AM UNSURE HOW WE GOT THERE BUT AFTER JUST A FEW WORDS ABOUT SCHOOL AND HER PLANS FOR THE FUTURE WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT SEX. SHE SAID WE COULD NOT DO ANYTHING BECAUSE HER PARENTS WERE HOME. I UNDERSTOOD AND I STARTED WATCHING TV.

IT STARTED GETTING LATE AND AGAIN SEX CAME UP.

SHE SAID, DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT MY MOUTH ON IT?

I SAID, YES. I UNZIPPED MY PANTS AND SHE LOWERED

HER HEAD AND GAVE ME HEAD OR ATTEMPTED TO PERFORM ORAL SEX. SCARED, ONLY AFTER TWO STOKES SHE RAISED HER HEAD AND SAID PLEASE DO NOT TELL ANYONE I DID THAT ESPECIALLY MY SISTER. I SAID,

I WON’T. I GOT UP SHE WALKED WITH ME TO THE BUS STOP WHERE WE TALKED ABOUT NOTHING. SHE WAS SO BORING. AS THE BUS APPROACHED, SHE WANTED TO KISS AND I WAS VERY AFRAID. HELL, YOUR MOUTH WAS JUST ON MY PENIS AND YOU WANT TO KISS. I THOUGHT YUCK HOW GROSS! NEVERTHELESS, I DID, THEN I GOT ON THE BUS AND I WENT HOME. THE NEXT WEEK I BORROWED MY STEP FATHERS’ CAR AND WENT TO SEE HER. THIS TIME I TOLD HER I DIDN’T HAVE MONEY FOR A HOTEL, AND WE KNEW WE COULDN’T DO IT IN HER PARENTS HOUSE SO I CONVINCED TO DRIVE TO THE PARK WITH ME WHERE WE COULD HAVE SEX IN THE BACK SEAT. SHE SAID, THE PARK COULD BE DANGEROUS. THEREFORE, WE STAYED IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE. SHE GOT IN THE BACK SEAT AND

I FOLLOWED AFTER HER. SHE PULLED OFF HER PANTS UNTIL THEY WERE AROUND ONE OF HER ANKLES. WITH A CONDOM IN MY HAND, I ATTEMPTED TO PUT IT ON AND WITH CAREFUL ANTICIPATION CONTINUED TOWARDS WHERE I THOUGHT WAS THE AREA OF PENETRATION.

I HAD THE MOST DIFFICULT TIME GETTING INSIDE HER.

I DID NOT KNOW WHETHER IT WAS THAT SHE HAD NOT HAD ANY IN ALONG TIME, I WAS TOO ANXIOUS OR BOTH. IT WAS PROBABLY FEAR IN BOTH OF US. HELL, HERE WE ARE TRYING TO HAVE SEX IN THE BACK SEAT OF A 1978 BUICK THAT WAS PARKED IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE, BETTER YET HER DRIVEWAY! VERY RISKY, BUT AT THAT POINT I DID NOT CARE! I WAS TIRED OF KNOWING I HAD NOT HAD SEX! SIX MONTHS BEFORE GRADATION, I FELT I WILL BE THE ONLY VIRGIN IN THE CLASS. AFTER A FAILED ATTEMPT, SHE FINALLY TOLD ME TO STOP, I DID. WE GOT OUT OF THE CAR AND I WENT HOME VERY FRUSTRATED! SHE NEVER ASKED ME WHETHER I WAS A VIRGIN OR NOT. I COULD ONLY IMAGINE WHAT SHE WAS THINKING THAT NIGHT. SO HERE IT WAS COUPLE OF DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS AND MY MOM AND STEP DAD WENT OUT OF TOWN AND LEFT MY BROTHER AND I HOME. LAKOTA CAME OVER, I DID NOT WASTE ANYTIME AND I FELT VERY RELAXED. HERE IT IS MY PARENTS ARE GONE, WILL NOT RETURN FOR A FEW MORE DAYS AND IT WAS A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY. I ESCORTED HER TO MY BEDROOM WHERE SHE STARTED TAKING OFF HER PANTS. I GRABBED A CONDOM, SHE LAID ACROSS THE BED,

I SEPARATED HER LEGS AS FAR AS THEY COULD GO, GRABBED MY PENIS AND PLACE IT INSIDE HER. I WAS FINALLY IN! FOR SOME REASON IT SEEMED FAST, ALMOST TO FAST. I DID NOT CUM OR HAVE AN ORGASM. BEFORE I KNEW IT, HER PANTS WERE BACK ON AND SHE WAS LEAVING. AFTER THAT WE NEVER TRIED AGAIN, BUT FOR SOME REASON SHE FELT LIKE SHE WAS MY GIRL FRIEND. THE COMMUNICATION FIZZLED OUT AND AS MUCH AS I TRIED, I COULD NOT GET RID OF HER ANNOYING PHONE CALLS. I LOST SOMETHING THAT DAY THAT I WILL LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE TO REGRET! I WILL SHARE THAT

IN CHAPTERS LATER.

AMTRAK

NON-STOP

IT IS NOW SPRING OF 1988, FIVE AND HALF MONTHS BEFORE GRADATION AND I WAS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR GUYS IN SCHOOL. HERE IT WAS GETTING CLOSE TO PROM AND I REALLY DID NOT HAVE ANY ONE TO TAKE. I TRULY WAS NOT GOING TO TAKE LAKOTA. ARE YOU KIDDING? THE ALL STAR LINEBACKER APPROACHED ME ABOUT JOINING THE FOOTBALL TEAM, I LAUGHED INSIDE. FIRST, I DID NOT TRUST THE COACH AND SECONDLY I WAS MORE POPULAR THAN HALF THE FOOTBALL TEAM PUT TOGETHER! PLEASE! SO I STAYED AFTER SCHOOL ENTERTAINING EVERYONE AND THERE WAS A GIRL THAT EVERY TIME I LOOKED AROUND SHE WAS THERE. ALMOST LIKE A LOST PUPPY. HER NAME WAS TANIA WILSON. TANIA HAD A VERY CUTE FACE AND THAT IS ALL SHE HAD. NO I TAKE THAT BACK; SHE HAD LONG, BLACK, BEAUTIFUL HAIR. SHE WAS IN THE NINTH GRADE AND APPARENTLY WAS EXTREMELY INFATUATED WITH ME! IT SEEM WHERE EVER I WAS SHE WANTED TO BE.

THIS WAS A REAL TURN OFF, BUT I LATER TOOK TO ALL THE ATTENTION SHE WAS GIVING ME. ONE AFTERNOON WE KISSED AND IT FELT AS IF I WAS KISSING A WOMAN.

I LATER WOULD COME TO DISCOVER THAT TANIA HAD SEX WITH AN OLDER MAN WELL BEFORE ME AND FAR MORE EXPERIENCE. BOY, I WAS BEHIND! ONE AFTERNOON AT SCHOOL I TOLD TANIA I WANTED TO HAVE SEX. SHE AGREED AND I LEAD HER TO THIS AREA IN THE SCHOOL THAT WAS UNOCCUPIED BY ANYONE. ALL MY FEAR WAS GONE. I HAD NO CONDOM NO NOTHING. IT