Your Spiritual Dictionary: To Make Your Life Journey Easier

By Erishka Fridman-Catt

Being human is full-time job that does not always pay well.

While spiritual evolution occurs collectively, personal growth takes place individually.

We are all here on our personal journeys together. As we grow individually, we contribute to collective advancement, and as we evolve collectively, we improve our personal lives.

When you feel stuck, it is natural to think, If only I were somewhere elsethings would be different. If only something in my environment (my partner, my kids, my parents, my job, my home) were different, Id be okay.

The good news is that you are able to craft the life you desire from where you currently are.

For each of us, different ways will work best at different stages of life. When something isnt working for youwhether it is your job, marriage, conflict with friends or children, or your pet just stops listeninga natural reaction is to withdraw or to leave. Sometimes it is the only solution left, and this is exactly what needs to be done. However, this is not always the case, especially if the situation involves children or other loved ones.

There are times when we are simply not happy with where we are in life. And there are times when we see what we want and dont know how to get it.

Your Spiritual Dictionary offers practical tools for resolving issues, dealing with everyday routine situations, transforming daily obstacles in to opportunities for growth, and making the most out of present life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Apr 27, 2015
• ISBN: 9781452528434

Erishka Fridman-Catt

Spiritual health is vital for overall well-being of individuals and collective alike. Erishka is passionate about assisting people with restoring and maintaining their spirit’s health and fitness by embracing one challenge at a time and being in control of life’s situation rather than letting circumstances control their life. Erishka’s personal journey of growth started with meeting her spiritual teacher Megan McMahon. Megan’s input in to evolution of this book from conception through maturing process to being published is unconditionally unlimited. Family’s commitment to delivering challenges for continuing development on daily bases blended well with Megan’s guidance to look within in order to eliminate every obstacle encountered alone the way. Appreciation that all obstacles are selfimposed for the purpose of growth was achieved by learning how to resolve day to day matters. Alone with family’s encouragement and Megan’s inspiration to move forward one day at a time this path has also been influenced by many books about mind and world of spirit, ‘Eckhart Teachings’, ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ and ‘Jan Spiller Astrology’.

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Copyright © 2015 Erishka Fridman-Catt.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-2842-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-2843-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015905595

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/24/2015

Contents

A

Acceptance

-   Accepting what is

-   Self – acceptance

-   Accepting your feelings about present moment

-   Difference between accepting present moment and accepting current situation

Achieving

-   Having everything you want

-   Achieving what you want by tricking your mind

-   Setting goals

-   Filling empty space

Addiction

-   Nuts and bolts of addiction

Anger

-   Dealing with somebody else’s anger

-   Dealing with anger

-   Dealing with children’s anger

Attitude

-   Attitude towards life

-   Attitude towards word ‘Sorry’

-   Making friends with courage

-   Doing what you don’t want to do

-   Withdrawing your talents

-   Art of balance

-   Celebrating Thanksgiving Day

B

Behaviour

-   Self-sabotage

-   Stopping undesired behaviour

-   Changing behaviour

-   Acting on impulse

Beliefs

-   Changing Self-beliefs

-   Having faith

-   The difference between believing and thinking you believe

-   Knowing state of your faith

Body

-   Losing weight when nothing works

-   Body Image

-   Link between postural changes and need for protection

-   Spiritual approach to body’s shape/size

-   Looking beyond body’s weight

Boundaries

-   Setting personal boundaries and respecting those of others

-   Breaking the cycle of being taking advantage of

-   Difference between being taken advantage of and feeling being taken advantage of

-   Taking advantage of yourself

Bullying

-   Dealing with abuse

-   Spiritual approach to bullying

C

Communication

-   Importance of clear communication

Control

-   Letting go of control

-   Forms of control

D

Dreams

-   The difference between dreams and fantasy

-   Differentiating your destiny from fantasy by pursuing your dream

-   Unfulfilled dreams

E

Emotions

-   Feeling overwhelmed with emotion

-   Dealing with emotions

-   Supressed emotions

Every day

-   Being a human

-   Self-work

-   How to keep your word at all times

-   Self-evaluation in relation to others

Evolution

-   Why Some Women Choose to Be Single

-   Solving world’s problems by resolving personal issues

-   Social equality

-   Gender discrimination

-   Understanding selfishness

F

Fear

-   Overcoming fear of success

-   Overcoming fear of love

-   Working with fear

Feelings

-   Feeling hurt by others

-   Feeling sad for no reason

-   Dealing with feeling of sadness

-   Feeling sorry for others

-   Feeling sorry for yourself

-   Dealing with feeling falling behind

-   Being neutral

-   Effects of guilt

Forgiveness

-   Forgiving others

-   Self-forgiveness

-   Unconditional forgiveness is respect for the process of evolution

G

Grief

-   Letting go of grief

-   What is grief?

-   Grieving loss of unfulfilled wish

-   Unhealthy grief

-   Grieving not-happened relationship

-   Grieving your present

Growth

-   Working with change

-   Being good enough

-   Respecting Growth

-   Sharing your news with others

-   Letting go of a grudge

-   Giving to others freely

H

Habit

-   Letting go of a habit

-   Breaking the habit of compulsive shopping

-   Supporting another person through letting go of their habit

Happiness

-   Happiness is a state of mind

-   Being happy in unhappy environment

-   Victim of unhappy

-   Reasons for unhappiness

-   Happy being unhappy

Healing

-   Expanding your heart

-   Link between physical and emotional pain

Help

-   Difference between help and favour

-   Supporting others

-   Kindness and acts of kindness

-   Help yourself through helping others

I

Illness

-   Manifesting illness

-   Signs of depression

-   Treating depression by not treating depression

-   Treating depression with cleaning

-   Letting go of depression

-   Spiritual reasons for getting cancer

I’m feeling

-   Overcoming hardships

-   Understanding feeling of lack

-   Tuning being unlucky in to experiencing lack of luck

-   Creating miracles in your life

-   Finding your passion

-   Becoming your own authority figure

Intentions

-   Cooperation vs. competition

-   Clarity of intentions

-   Intention behind your life’s lesson

J

Journey

-   Life’s journey

-   At the start of a spiritual journey

-   The journey from your head in to the heart

Joy

-   Finding joy

-   Difference between happiness and joy

Judgment

-   Replacing judgment with questioning

-   Difference between observation and judgment

K

Karma

-   Laws of karma

-   Karmic Balance

-   Karmic debt

-   Resolving your karma by forgiveness

L

Life’s lessons

-   Learning your life’s lesson

-   Spiritual balances material

-   Attitude towards negativity

Loss

-   Dealing with Loss

-   Dealing with fear of loss

Love

-   Self-Love

-   Loving unconditionally

-   Cosmic Love

M

Manifestation

-   Manifesting what you want to experience

-   Importance of clarity of your affirmations when manifesting

-   Act as if you already do or have it

-   Choosing your wording for affirmations

Manipulation

-   Dealing with manipulation

-   Manipulation as a form of abuse

Mind

-   Recognising subconscious mind

-   Subconscious beliefs based on cultural norms

-   Mind’s game

-   Working with subconscious mind

Money

-   Attracting money

-   Developing healthy relationship with money

-   Difference between wealth and prosperity

-   Respecting money

-   The irony of money

-   Budgeting your money

-   Money as distraction

-   Money’s primary function

Motivation

-   How to encourage yourself doing what you want

N

Narcissism

-   Turning narcissism in to the lesson in love

New Year

-   Creating abundance from what you have

-   Returning to work in the New Year

-   Achieving recurring goals and resolutions

-   Behaviour oriented goals

-   New Year’s resolutions

-   Preparing to great New Year

O

Observation

-   Learning by observation

-   Learning to observe situation instead of participating in it

P

Parenting

-   Being a Parent

-   Conscious parenting

-   Introducing Concept of Spirituality to Children

-   Children as spiritual parents

-   Becoming a parent

-   Stages of Parenting

-   Surviving your children’s transition to adulthood

-   Making your children feel special

-   Respecting your children as another human being

-   Choosing school

-   Children’s special times

-   Talking with children about karma

-   Happy children create pain free parenting environment

-   Staying home parent

Past

-   Differentiating between effects of your past actions or circumstances having on your present and living in the past or holding on to it

-   How past lives can influence your present

-   Letting go of your past

Pattern

-   Breaking your patterns

-   Working through confusion when breaking a pattern

-   Breaking genetically inherited patterns

-   Identifying family patterns

Perception

-   What is trust?

-   What is freedom?

-   Inner peace comes with peace of mind

-   Importance of perception in creating your reality

-   Conservative views

Positivity

-   Being positive person

-   Difference between changing your negative situation into positive thinking and turning unwanted experience into positive outcome.

-   Bypassing the need to have negative experience in order to have positive one

Power

-   Use of power

-   Dealing with power by addressing insecurities

-   Difference between power and strength

-   Dangers of power

-   Rising up by putting others down

Q

Questions

-   What to do when you don’t know what to do

-   What to do if nothing works out with your wish?

R

Relationships

-   Love-hate relationship

-   Disagreements in relationships

-   Friendship

-   Coping with personal changes of a partner

-   Dysfunctional relationship

-   Evolving as a couple

-   Equality in relationships

-   Relationships with children

-   Self-relations

-   Spiritual relationships

-   What is marriage?

-   Spacial Relationships

-   Cultural clash in relationships

-   Karmic relationships

-   Relationships with others

-   Relationship with your Soul challenger

-   Working on relationship

Resolve

-   Resolving an issue

-   Finding your answer when you can’t get one

-   Solving a problem by addressing the issue

-   Relevance of dreams when resolving an issue

Responsibility

-   Taking responsibility for the privilege of making mistake

-   How to craft the life which you desire

S

Situation

-   What is a life situation?

-   Being calm in stressful situation

-   Adapting to your situation

-   It just is

-   Moving on from unwanted life situation

Spirituality

-   Being spiritual

-   Fragility of a spirit

-   Concept of spirituality

T

Therapy

-   Choosing your type of therapy

-   What is therapy?

Turning point

-   Turning your life around when nothing seemed to be working

-   Living in Abundance

-   Managing living during transition

U

Unhealthy behaviours

-   Unhealthy attachments

-   Unhealthy motivation and inspiration

V

Valentine’s Day

-   Celebrating Valentine’s Day alone

Voice

-   Allowing children to have a voice

W

Wish

-   Changing behaviour to have what you want

-   5 Step Guide to Always Buying What You Want

-   Owning your wish

-   Dealing with becoming wantaholic

-   Avoiding empty wanting

-   Attracting what you want in life

Work

-   Choosing work

-   Attitude towards your work

-   Self-employment

X

X-factor

-   Pattern of a victim

-   Acting on AHA moment

-   Dealing with ego

-   Using your intuition

Y

Yourself

-   Use of ‘I’

-   Self-issue

-   Selflessness is a form of selfishness

-   Contributors to personality development

Z

Zone

-   Being present

-   Concept of time

Acknowledgement

This page is dedicated to credit Megan McMahan, Erishka’s spiritual teacher and Dictionary’s Godmother for her infinitely unconditional input in to evolution of this book via constant presence throughout the whole process. Megan’s work behind the scenes ranged from support, encouragement and motivation through to consulting on the contents and financing the publishing package.

Grace

Your Spiritual Dictionary is celebration of personal growth. Every individual achievement benefits collective wellbeing and when society goes through shift lives of individuals improves. This is perfect opportunity to extend boundless Gratitude to Everybody for your presence, short or long, in person, via social media or through your work - books, art, music or movies. Deepest Thanks to family Chris, Jake, Pickles, Car and spiritual teacher Megan for unconditional acceptance and love, infinite support and care; to Daisies, Association, Nature and Universe for limitless guidance. Balboa press team for step by step assistance with publishing. Wishing everyone experiences resulting in growth, challenges encouraging learning and opportunities easy to recognise and accommodate.

Benefits of the book

Welcome to Your Spiritual Dictionary. Its primary aim is to assist people with reaching their desired destination by offering practical tools for resolving issues, dealing with everyday routine situations, transforming daily obstacles in to opportunities for growth and making the most out of present life; to help individuals craft the life which they desire by seeing every situation as an opportunity for growth and to invite person to embrace, build and use their inner strength in order to change their outer environment.

Being human is full time job which does not always pay well. This book serves as a guide to people who need help with resolution of a specific issue, looking to improve their overall well-being, self-perception; open to change, ready for self-confrontation and prepared to accept personal responsibility for every situation they encounter. When people open to the view that every situation is self-created for the purpose of growth they appreciate that resolution lies within. With change of their attitude and behaviour the outcome of the situation changes. With change of self-perception outside environment becomes a welcome place to live in.

Your Spiritual Dictionary is beneficial to people’s personal development, understanding of daily routines and resolving specific concerns. Information in the book is relevant to different people and to the same person at various times in their life. It is not written in chapters which gradually take reader from introduction to conclusion; in contrast, just like when people refer to Oxford or Macquarie Dictionary to look up the meaning of a particular word, they can find the tool for their specific need in Spiritual Dictionary which can be read all at once or relevant section/s can be consulted as the need arises. If person chooses to read section applicable to their matter they will naturally be drawn to all beneficial material while looking through the contents page. For instance, person needing assistance with resolving financial situation may read articles in Money section and feel attracted to sections on Work and Patterns. Similarly someone looking to answer a question about relationship may need to consult section on Relationships together with section on Boundaries, Parenting and Karma.

Each section comprises one or more articles addressing particular topic. Some articles offer insights, others suggest exercises and still others create space to provoke different way of thinking about tackling everyday situations while number of articles combine them all, assisting people from diverse backgrounds and on different stages of their evolutionary process to feel at ease with the information provided and inviting persons with more conservative views to benefit from reading the book by leaving out confronting topics whilst entertaining the opportunity to come back to them at a later stage if they choose.

Responsibility

Your Spiritual Dictionary is everyday manual for people who already are or stepping on the path of personal growth/development and looking for tools to improve their daily life and/or to deal with day to day issues as they arise. This book is intended as guide only and is not substitute for therapy.

If you are currently working with therapist or considering engaging one and would like to implement any of the advice provided in this book it is sensible to consult with your therapist or to advise them about your intention. All consequences for your choices and actions are your responsibility. This is true for all of us.

A

Acceptance

Accepting what is

Sometimes it is very hard to accept present moment as it is. Especially when everything is out of place and not the way you planned it to be; it is only natural to want to be somewhere else, to change what is to what might be or could have been. Different ways can work best for different people as well as for the same person at different times in their life, depending on current circumstances and where person is in the process of their evolution. Some people may find easier to come to terms with what is by accepting laws of karma and their need for personal growth and spiritual evolution. Others may find accepting what is impossible at present time of their life. Either way is fine as long as you are transparent about it and know where you stand in order to find the best possible way for you to move forward from here.

If you choose to accept your present moment as inseparable experience of your evolutionary process you need to realise that you came in to this incarnation to continue on your journey of spiritual evolution, your current life is a step in your overall evolutionary process, and every moment of your life is even smaller step of the whole process. At the end of the process you will be fully evolved spiritual being. Start by accepting this fact. If you are able to accept your process of evolution, then you will be able to accept your choice of incarnation. You then can accept the experiences you chose to have to fulfil your karma, to grow and to pay and receive your karmic debts to the self and others.

After you have seen larger picture, accepting present moment just the way it is for what it is comes naturally, because you reached an understanding that this very moment as it is a small step in the process of your overall evolution. It is the same as wanting to buy a house. Owning a house is your larger vision, and you need to take small steps to get there. You earn money, find a house you wish to purchase, pay deposit and repay your house over a period of time. First you accept the fact that you want to own a house and from that you accept the fact that you have to take smaller steps to pay for it. By accepting that you have to have a job and make monthly repayments you are accepting what is as it is. You know that without it you cannot own a house so you make conscious choice to accept the fact that in this moment you have to work and make repayments. The same happens with accepting of what is on spiritual plane. You cannot be fully evolved spiritual being at end of your evolutionary process if you will not accept the fact that you have to have certain experiences in your life and obey karmic laws in any given moment.

If growth and evolution is not your motivator and you absolutely hate your present situation, whether it is living arrangements, family circumstance or work related issue your best bet is to acknowledge that there are times in everyone’s life when this particular moment cannot be accepted just as it is at this very instance. Despite what you hear, what you read and what you know you just cannot accept what is as is it. And this is OK. Accepting what is as it is requires practice and practice requires time. Good place to start is to accept the fact that you cannot accept your current life situations as it is. By doing this you find peace. Only temporarily, but it is there. And when peace is there you can look for solutions how to improve your life situation from a place of love and not from a place of anger and frustration. Every time you practice these little steps you get closer to the permanent state of peace of mind. Every time you take one more little step you stay there longer. And one day peace of mind will not go away and it will become your permanent state of being. In this state you simply know that what happens in your life is of your creation and if you have created such unpleasant circumstance you had a very good reason for it. You may look for this reason in the process of your growth or you may simply choose to accept your creation, learn from the situation and move on.

Self – acceptance

First step to self- acceptance is to stop looking at the self in relation to others. For as long as you perceive yourself as too nice or not good enough, as caring too much about everyone or as selfish, having too much or not having enough you rate yourself in comparison with other people. If you ask yourself what is enough for you, you would start thinking about it in relation to socially approved quantities and qualities yet if you examine the history you would find that society has been flexible and adaptive to contemporary times; what was too much before is not enough today, attitude which was accepted towards inferior beings earlier is not tolerated by modern social order.

This happens because humanity evolves, individuals grow and collective perception of life changes. People in general have come to believe that mostly everyone is perfect just the way they are yet many individuals find it difficult to accept the selves as they are; individually people think if we are perfect as we are than we have nothing to want and with nothing to want we have nothing to look forward to. This is as close to the end as it gets. It is important to understand that you are spirit, residing in physical form, which means that you ever evolving being; for as long as you incarnate in to physical realm you do so with the purpose of evolution.

Evolution is change. At present you evolved as much as you needed to for reaching this moment and it is perfect for you just as you are perfect for this moment. Nevertheless you don’t stop evolving which means that in the next moment you will be different, grown, with different perception of what is enough and what you will perceive at that moment as perfect will be different from the moment before and from the moment after. As you accept your perfection in the moment you can accept perfection of the moment without judging yourself and knowing that perfection is a matter of self-perception.

Remember that everybody has their own perfect moment and that everyone is working on accepting their own perfection. The only difference is that everyone experiences this event in personal way, based on their perception of themselves and their environment. It is important to respect each other’s process of realising their perfectionism and do not see it as an open invitation to mistreat others by stating mentally or verbally ‘well, this is me! Take it or leave it, I am perfect just the way I am and if you have a problem with it, it is your problem, not mine!’ If you sensed or were pointed out that you display rude or disrespectful behaviour towards others it is best to address the issue from within; treating others tactfully and with kindness is obligation we all have while living as human beings.

Accepting your feelings about present moment

Generally the need to accept something generated from resisting something. People usually resist things or situations which they don’t want. However, diverse range of experiences is often necessary before people can differentiate between wanted and unwanted. As accepting unwanted is difficult different ways may work best for different people in different situations. It is often assumed that by accepting what is, person has to accept situation, event, another person etc. which leaves emotions generated by the situation, event or person’s behaviour or attitude neglected. When accepting situation doesn’t work no matter how hard you try to come to terms with it there may be something else you need to accept before that. Most often it is emotion behind the situation. When identifying your emotion look for how this present moment makes you feel; you may feel angry, frustrated, hurt, guilty, ashamed, in love, lonely or else. When you worked out how you feel about this present moment you need ask yourself why this situation makes you feel the way it does.

Are you in love with somebody who is currently in a relationship or simply doesn’t share your feelings? Are you angry because someone got promoted at work before you? Do you feel guilty because you betrayed your loved one feeling? Do you feel lonely and hurt because you can’t have your way all the time in a relationship? These are the ‘how’ you feel about your present situation. ‘Why’ is usually more difficult to detect because it calls for self-transparency. Although ‘why’ is very different for everyone due to many individual factors, general underlying theme is self-issues with most common being low self-worth, lack of self-confidence, feeling unworthy and personal failure. Like with every other issue it is best to address it at its root. When you know why you feel how you feel in present moment about present situation you can start working on eliminating the cause and consequently the issue.

Whilst it is beneficial to deal with the root of the issue, you need to uncover few layers to get to the bottom. For this to work you need to accept your feeling/s about your present moment. There is no point in denying that you feel hurt as a result of somebody else’s behaviour. Hurt won’t go away until you address the why part of hurt, i.e. why somebody else’s behaviour hurt your feelings or why do you feel hurt or sad or betrayed due to somebody else’s actions. For example, you may feel lonely if you are single because you do not feel emotionally safe or financially secure on your own; if you don’t address issues of safety and security you may develop fear of being single which traditionally leads to feeling desperate to have a partner. Consequently your judgment will be misguided and you can attract ‘wrong’ person who might take advantage of your situation and use it for their own benefit. As they will sense your fear of being alone they can threaten to leave you every time they don’t get their way and as a result you may end up with being in abusive relationship, emotionally, physically or both. You may feel betrayed by the person you thought loved you and cared for you the same way you did, and you may perceive the overall situation as your personal failure because of your clouded judgment due to desperation created by fear. To avoid finding yourself in a similar situation it is best to learn self-transparency and address every issue, no matter how insignificant it may seem at its root and by finding your involvement and your personal lesson in every situation.

Difference between accepting present moment and accepting current situation

Accepting present moment is not the same as accepting your current situation. Although both involve acceptance, one is about not rejecting it by wishing it to be different and the other is about realising that this is what is at this moment in time and it will take work on your part to change. While present moment is all it is at this moment, current situation can be comprised of many present moments. The more moments you learn to accept the easier it will become to accept your situation and work out ways to be content with it and learn your lesson from it so you can move on.

Wishing for your situation to be different is different from wishing your present moment to be something else. Whilst you can act on your wish in relation to your current situation you cannot do anything about having your present moment any different. If for example you are at work but wish you were at the beach your wish is pointless; you are not at the beach and are at work and right now it is how it is. You can concentrate on doing your work to finish it quicker and get to the beach in the afternoon or if you work set hours you can concentrate on doing your work well so you don’t need to stay back or come on a weekend to fix mistakes you have made due to not paying attention to your task while keep wanting to be at the beach. If on the other hand, you don’t like the situation which happened to be working every day instead of going to the beach every day you are in charge of changing it; you can take 3 or 4 weeks off work and go to the beach every day; if it is not beach season in your part of the world you can organise vacation in the place where going to the beach is currently the option. By the time you will get bored of being at the beach every day your break from work will happen to be over and you will gladly resume your duties knowing that when the urge comes next time around you will know how to handle it.

To accept your present moment you need to realise that it is already happening and you can’t change it right now, it is similar to the past which has already happened. You do however have a choice to make your next present moment different. If you find yourself arguing right now you can stop and your next moment will become argument free. If you took wrong turn or missed your exit of a highway and as a result driving in the different direction you can feel frustration or anger at this moment yet there is nothing you can do right now except to look for a way to turn around and start driving in the direction you need. This action will calm you and change your next moment, as a result your feeling of frustration may transform to the one of peace because you still will have plenty of time to reach your destination as scheduled or because you will realise later that it was part of the plan and you learned something valuable.

Accepting situation is different in that it involves more than just one moment. If you find yourself in challenging situation with your partner or child or friend you need to come to terms with the situation and then decide which action to take to resolve it. For example you may find that your loved one has just been diagnosed with fatal illness or have been involved in a car accident and is severely injured. You may know that there is nothing you can do about it now yet it takes time to accept. Only when you come to terms with the situation as a fact which has already happened and accept it as your current reality which requires your attention, you will be in a position to think of the best way about approaching your loved one or to find courage to talk to the doctor and you would take it from there. It may mean some dramatic changes in your daily routine or finding extra money to cover medical expenses and attending to other unexpected affairs.

Or you may be unhappy in your relationship or with your current job but at this time in your life you can’t leave either of them. Your first step is to come to terms with the situation taking place in your life at present. Your second step is to look in to possibilities and draft plan of action. If it is a relationship which you can’t leave, write down why/s. You may have committed to taking care of your ill partner or you may have financial reasons, it may be that you have children and don’t want to separate from your partner so your children don’t straggle with the fact that their parents don’t live together any longer. Sometimes you are not happy and nothing really holds you there yet you have been together for a long time and you just don’t know how to live without your partner. This is most likely karmic reason and while you are together you learn your karmic lesson, addressing your issues and breaking your patterns which your partner and your unhappiness bring up to the surface.

If it is the job you are not happy with your next step is to look for alternative which may be different job or re-education or starting your own business.

If it is caring for your ill partner you can talk to them, explain your situation and negotiate hiring help which will free up some time and energy for you. If your reasons are material, work out compromise which can work for both of you until you can support yourself financially. When children are involved finding solution is always more difficult yet with both partners being open to compromise arrangements can be made to suit everyone concern. You may both live separate lives while staying under the same roof with respect to your children’s well-being. It is important to note that when you are working on accepting your current situation you will be accepting many present moments and every moment can differ from others. Do not confuse accepting your moment with accepting the whole situation. You may be happy with the turn which overall situation is taking yet you may feel very agitated with your partner or boss at any given moment or even with yourself for not being able to accept what is and it can be the other way around, you may be unhappy with the whole situation yet feel content with being able to accept your present moment.

Achieving

Having everything you want

Many people are taught to value self-worth in comparison to others from their early years. On one hand they are told not to complain about their lot because there are people out there who would love to have at least some of they’ve got and on the other hand they are told to work harder, physically or mentally or both to achieve more and better because there is always somebody out there who is better off. This upbringing offers mixed messages and the mind grows up being very confused. It never knows when to complain and when to be grateful; when person has enough and somebody out there doesn’t and when person doesn’t have enough because somebody out there has more.

With gaining spiritual maturity collectively we have better understanding that before we become physical beings we are spirit and as far as spirit is concerned everyone is equal. Nobody is better or worse than somebody else. From spirit’s point of view we are all the same, just as both our arms are the same for the physical body; right arm is not better or worse than the left. And if due to fashion a person wears shirt with one sleeve, it would not make the arm covered by the sleeve any better or worse than the arm which is not covered. It is similar for the spirit. What is fashion for physical body are experiences and lessons for the spirit. At different points in life people need to possess certain material things in order to have related emotional experiences to assist with personal growth and spiritual evolution. Everyone has what they need at every point in their development and nobody wants more than they meant to have to fulfil their experiences.

When you stop comparing yourself to others you start to concentrate on what you need in order to have required experiences, learn lessons and have what you meant to have. As long as you are realistic about what you can achieve, everything is possible. Just because one person has something, it doesn’t mean that the other is missing out, and the other person doesn’t miss out because somebody else has more. Universe has enough resources for everyone to have what they need; all you need to do is to realise that in order to have something you need to do something. Often people can see what they want, but don’t know how to get it. Instead of finding ways to accomplish their goals they compare themselves to others who seem in front or behind them in life. This mindset encourages adopting behaviour of a victim and feeling sorry for the self which results in feeling low self-worth.

When people feel low self-worth their self-confidence decreases. They lack healthy boundaries and engage in unhealthy behaviours; while some may choose to stay at home complaining that they can’t find work which pays enough to make their time worthwhile instead of upskilling themselves and get better payed job, others may prefer to sit on a couch watching TV and eating food high in saturated fat, sugar and salt while complaining about being overweight instead of finding tools for losing weight and feeling comfortable in their body. People who are socialised from an early age in to believing that everything happening to them is somebody else’s fault (because somebody has less or someone has more, some are better while others are worse off) people grow up with the incorrect mindset that their personal issues are not theirs. And they ‘rightly’ assume that if somebody else created their problem then somebody else should fix it.

When people take responsibility for their lives they can see that their problems are theirs, nobody gave it to them and nobody will do anything to fix it, they can also see that what they perceive as problems in reality are experiences which need to be had. These experiences have nothing to do with anyone else, although other people may be part of the whole situation because they either teach or learn a lesson from it. When you are ready to take full responsibility for your life, needs and want you can stop comparing yourself to others and refrain from holding others responsible for what you don’t have. Regardless of whether you look up to someone or down at somebody, you blame them, if only subconsciously for what you don’t have but could have had. For example, if you think that you should not complain about the car which you are currently driving because somebody else out there doesn’t even have a car to drive, all you really say is: I want a better car, but I shouldn’t complain because somebody else would die for the opportunity to have my car. And the reason you want a better car is because you see somebody else drive a car more luxurious than yours.

Sometimes when people don’t know what to do, they start thinking that if only everyone would have everything the same nobody would be disadvantaged. However it will not be the case. We have what we need at certain times of our lives so we can grow. We are here to learn that we are all one. If our right arm doesn’t have a reason to be jealous of our left arm, then one person doesn’t have a reason to be jealous of another. When we stop looking for what they have and what we don’t and start looking for ways how we can assist each other in personal growth, we will evolve as a collective. And as we move up collectively, material lives of individuals will automatically improve.

Achieving what you want by tricking your mind

Knowing what to do is different from knowing how to do it. Even having plan of action may not bring clarity about how you will proceed with what you are planning to do. You may have seen your doctor recently and were told that you have to give up smoking or lose weight in order to prevent further development of your health condition so it won’t become a fatal illness. Or you may have talked to your bank manager about getting financial advice in relation to keeping your accounts in order and you were told that you have to cut your spending and start depositing some money in to savings account to earn interest. Your doctor may referred you to a dietician and personal trainer and your bank manager may have calculated your budget for you, only none of them actually told how you can do it. You may have tried giving up smoking and losing weight for a while and you may have calculated and recalculated your monthly or weekly budget multiple times; you have used reward system and you have seen therapist who told you to work through self-issues yet no matter what you do you are back where you started.

Often it is due to programming of your mind that you do not deserve better. Simply telling yourself that you now believe differently will not change your current circumstance. If your mind is pre-programmed that losing weight or living healthy is not for you it is difficult to convince it otherwise. Similarly if you are genetically pre-programed to believe that financial struggle is your fate then no matter how much you cut your spending you will find yourself behind with meeting your re-payments. When what you know doesn’t work for you try to do something different. Trick your mind and get around it in creative way. If losing weight doesn’t work stop losing weight and start re-shaping your body. Do not worry about which size clothes you will fit because it is automatically associated with losing weight and your mind will go in to rebellious mode. Instead find a picture with a body shape you like and visualise yourself having that body shape. Avoid using familiar words when referring to your body so your mind doesn’t get suspicious.

If you are working with finances instead of budgeting start managing your money. Instead of thinking about paying off your debts quickly so you can go on holidays or how you can get another loan to buy new car, think about saving money for your holiday and making cash purchases from now on. Visualise yourself doing it and again avoid habitual language to keep your mind at rest. Obviously you cannot succeed in saving money or making large cash purchases while you have debts so it is only natural that you have to find a way to settle your financial affairs. Giving up smoking or other addiction may seem more difficult yet possible. Because you are dealing with addition give your mind something to want, you may want to get ‘addicted’ to learning about healthy eating and complement it with exercise program. Instead of using patches and reading books about how to give up smoking to give your mind chance to protest eat carrot when you feel like lighting up a cigarette. It will take a while to get through it so while you are busy chowing carrot read a book about healthy eating. Choose recipes you want to try and rather than smoking while you walk to the shop to get your groceries jog on a way there and think about how you are going to cook your meal on a way back. It is very common to pay attention to what to do and neglect the how to do it. Concentrating on how will bring desired results with less stress and often sooner.

Setting goals

New Year is commonly recognised as a good time to set goals. The air is filled with excitement, new ideas and hopes. It is easy to overcommit especially if you are not experienced goal setter and achiever and it is as easy to announce yourself as failure and get disappointed with yourself if you didn’t complete your last year’s goals. New Year is not always the best time for everyone to set goals and resolutions. You can accomplish better results if you are rational, clear and realistic about what is possible for you to achieve given your current circumstances.

If you are a beginner in setting goals and resolutions or you feel overenthusiastic during holiday season you may consider setting your goals at different times. For example, you may write in your diary or personal journal on New Year’s Day that your New Year’s resolution is to set realistic achievable goals being rational about it and to leave it at that. For your actual goals choose start of a financial year for financial goals and start of your personal karmic year on your birthday for personal goals, thanksgiving is good time to set socially oriented goals. Decide on your goals the day before or on the day of the start of the year for any particular goal/s.

If your goal is related to saving certain percentage of your income, making large purchase or paying off your debts financial year is perfect timing for such goals. If your goals involve self-work, relationships, reshaping of your body, starting a course or taking up a hobby it is of personal nature and is best situated for your personal New Year. Thanksgiving is a good time to set goals of social nature, e.g. to go out more to meet new people, get involved in some charity work or to volunteer your time at your child’s school or community organisation.

When looking for a new job, think about your intentions. If your reason is purely financial include it with financial year goals; if the aim is to do something more meaningful, to add purpose to what you do while being paid well for it your birthday is a better time. Although general preference is to enjoy work while making money to pay bills and support chosen life style, at certain times people do not have this opportunity; they may have financial situation which requires fixing. At this point person simply needs to make money, as much as they can which may put enjoyment of their job on hold. People might have to do works they do not like or might be required to work very long hours or commit to several jobs for some time to get back on track financially.

Setting goals at different times also helps with re-evaluation because you only need to concentrate on one area. It is best not to wait till the end of your year and check in on monthly bases to see how you are doing, especially if you just started setting and achieving goals. If at the end of the year you realise that you were not able to accomplish what you have planned, instead of feeling upset and judging yourself see what you can learn from it. Did you overcommit? Or did you overestimate your ability or desire to have or do something? Remember that feeling disappointed leads to creating self-issues which will need to be addressed later; learning on the other hand guides you to be creative and opens your mind to possibilities of doing something different.

If you were successful in accomplishing your goals increase it or modify them for next year. For example, if you made large purchase you can plan to have finances available to maintain it. If it is a car, put money aside for repairs, service and petrol/gas. This way when you visit your mechanic or fill up the tank for the first time you will not need to go without food for a week. If you bought a block of land you can plan to build your dream house. If your purchase was a rundown house at a good price your goal may be to renovate it and if you bought brand-new house sensible goal would be to continue saving money to maintain your property so it keeps its original condition. If your accomplished goal was resolving self-issue, start working on a deeper one. If you attracted the right partner for you make your next goal to grow individually and as a couple by supporting each other. If you enjoyed your involvement with charity organisation you may want to become an organiser of some events next year.

If you were not as successful as planed in achieving your goals and your choice is to learn to do it differently say to yourself it was your trial year and you are going to make some changes and remodify your goals. For example, you can make your large purchase smaller or less expensive or you might consider paying your debts first and put aside lesser amount every pay check. If you still looking for the perfect partner do more self-reflection to see which behaviours and attitudes need changing in order for you to attract the right person in to your life. If you overcommitted socially you may re- think your commitments and only get involved in one charity or on less regular bases or you may decide that charity work is not your cup of tea. This is ok; when your time is right something will come your way and you will contribute to the society. When you sort out your finances you may decide that you prefer to make financial contribution instead of volunteering your time.

After setting goals for a few years you may decide to take a break and just let life to take you with it. This is ok too, just make sure that everything you need is under control, job, finances, relationship and health and you are ready to have your quiet year or two free of setting goals, achievements, competitions, meeting expectations etc. You may decide to travel, to live in the bush or in a country or a farm or you may continue to go to work, come home, relax and spend time with family and friends. Mixing goals oriented and goals free years is important for having balanced life.

Filling empty space

People who were brought up in controlling unloving or uncaring environment usually feel that they missing something in life; for some this something can be material and for others it is emotional while for still others it may be combination of both. When people feel presence of unfulfilled desire from early years of life they look for somebody else to fill it for them. Whilst they are correct in their thinking that somebody else, i.e. their parents or other caregivers created this emptiness during their childhood it is important to realise that nobody else can fix it for them except them. Emptiness is hard to fill for the reasons that nobody knows where the bottom of this hole is and without bottom there is no top. If you feel that you want to fill in your empty hole, start from establishing the bottom side of it; the bottom side is your realisation that although actions or inactions of others created this hole you will take responsibility for filling it. Your top side is when you ‘have and don’t want’ instead of ‘want but don’t have’. As you now know the size of your hole you can start filling it in. Write in the note pad what is missing from your life at present; it can be toys, chocolate, certain foods or it can be going on holidays, having family time, or it can be feeling loved and cared for or it can be having no siblings and feeling lonely due to being the only child in the family. Or it can be something else.

If you missed out on having toys and feel that it is a silly idea for an adult, find what makes you feel as excited as if you were child and make it your toy; it can be a car, a house, a surfboard or you may decide to create and build a garden. No matter what it is give it to yourself and let excitement you want to come in; take your car for a purposeless ride every day or every weekend, go surfing every morning before work as you have no care in the world, create garden of your dream with toy tools if you need to, bake biscuits for your neighbours and jump with joy. Do it until you don’t want to do it anymore and then do it for a little longer so you feel the ‘have and don’t want’ part and you are not afraid to lose this feeling.

If you are filling in the emptiness of not being loved and cared for write down all the things you wished your parents did to make you feel loved and cared for and start doing it. In winter heat up your towel for when you get out of the shower and place your pyjamas on the heater, do the same with the clothes you wear in the morning so you feel cosy getting out of bed during winter, make yourself hot chocolate instead of coffee and cook pancakes every Sunday, eat them straight from the fry pan and feel full before you finish cooking. During summer, jump in to the pool or go for a swim in the sea at the nearest beach to cool off and then buy yourself an ice-cream and a milkshake. Take yourself out shopping and for meals out; tell yourself ‘I love you, you are