Ladies Listen Up!: Straight Talk on Men, Sex, Money, Career, Family and Loving Relationships

By Stephanie Rockey

Stephanie Rockey is the founder of True Life Partners, a personal introduction and search company in the Washington, D.C. area. After interviewing several hundred men and women, she found that most working adults were achieving what they wanted in the world of work, but could not seem to establish a loving relationship. What was far more disconcerting, however, was the realization that most women are entirely confused about how men think and what men really want in a relationship. Understanding this is essential in establishing the beginning bonds of trust that can grow into a solid, long-term, committed relationship. Womenit is not just about you. You cannot simply dictate demands: I want this and I want that. I have a list of attributes that I require in a man and if he doesnt get a checkmark in every box, he just isnt good enough for me. Relationships are about not only love and companionship, but also communication and compromise. Whether or not you believe this, let me be the first to tell you that you are not perfect. Men are not perfect either and you can simply not hold them to the impossibly high standards that 90% of women seem to have!

There are many self-help relationship books out there, however, none seems to apply in todays society; and, none really covers all stages of a relationship. After setting many clients on the right track to establishing a successful relationship, I can tell you that this book will give you guidance on not only what you are doing wrong, but also how to make positive changes that will lead to a successful life and relationship. You will discover further insights into how to achieve a happy, healthy, successful life, and long-term loving relationship.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 10, 2009
• ISBN: 9781449002176

Stephanie Rockey

Stephanie Rockey, is the founder and president of True Life Partners, a personal introduction and search company, and Rockey & Rockwell, Inc., a marketing, advertising, interactive and public relations agency in Vienna, Virginia. After hundreds of client interviews, it was apparent to her that a gap existed between the fantasy world of what women believe they need and want in a man versus, what in fact, is the reality with men. This issue was consistent in virtually all client interviews. She used this information to straighten out, with straight talk, womens confusing misperceptions about how to communicate with a man, and establish a loving and long-term relationship. Ms. Rockey graduated with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Journalism and Public Communications from St. Thomas University in St. Paul, Minnesota. She has traveled internationally, enjoys gourmet cooking and watching NFL football.

Book preview

Ladies

Listen Up!

Straight talk on men, sex, money, career, family and loving relationships

Stephanie Rockey

US%26UK%20Logo%20B%26W_new.ai

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2009 Stephanie Rockey, Inc. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 8/5/2009

ISBN: 978-1-4490-0217-6 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-0216-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-0215-2 (hc)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Cover Design: Carmen Ferraro

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

Dedication 

To my loving daughter, Megan, who brings continuous joy into my life and has since the day I was blessed with her birth. I love her with all my heart; and, I pray to God daily for her safety, health, and lifelong future happiness

with a loving husband.

Acknowledgments 

This book became an increasing challenge because my intentions were to provide the readers with clarity, truth, and nothing but straight talk on issues that have a serious and direct impact on their day-to-day lives. To accomplish this goal, I needed and received tremendous love and support from my daughter, Megan, and my true-life partner, Greg. From beginning to end, God gave me the inspiration and strength to complete this task. Special gratitude for my Godparents, Uncle Clarence, and his wife Agnes, also weighs heavy in my heart; and, I deeply appreciate their constant encouragement, guidance, and love.

Introduction

In April 2007, I started a personal introduction and search company. I live in the Washington, DC metropolitan area; and, are surrounded by professional, smart, successful, attractive people who have achieved everything they want in the world of work, but cannot seem to establish a loving relationship. I myself knew how difficult it was to meet that special someone when so much of our lives focus on careers, so I wanted to help these people find their life partners.

After two years and several hundred interviews with clients, I realized that most women in search of true love are entirely confused about how men think and what men really want. Understanding this is essential in establishing the beginning bonds of trust that can grow into a solid, long-term, committed relationship.

Women—it is not just about you. You cannot simply dictate demands: I want this and I want that. I have a list of attributes that I require in a man and if he doesn’t get a checkmark in every box, he just isn’t good enough for me. Relationships are about not only love and companionship, but also communication and compromise. Whether or not you believe this, let me be the first to tell you that you are not perfect. Men are not perfect either and you can simply not hold them to the impossibly high standards that 90% of women seem to have!

I know there are many self-help relationship books out there—I myself have read some of them. However, none seems to apply in today’s society; and, none really covers all stages of a relationship. After interviewing hundreds of men and women, and setting many on the right track to establishing a successful relationship, I can tell you that this book will give you guidance on not only what you are doing wrong, but also how to make positive changes that will lead to a successful life and relationship.

• Married men will not divorce their wives for you…and even if they do, you still do not want them, because they will cheat again…on you!

• Communicating with men is different than communicating with women…gossiping will make him run faster than you can run your mouth. Should this form of communication be part of your workday as well, you will miss promotion after promotion; you must stop it!

• Lying…to yourself or someone else…should never be a form of communication. (Hard to believe I have to tell you this, but you could not imagine how many people need to hear that statement.)

• It is great that you have a successful career, but you should never brag about your income or judge a man by his income.

• Some women have been in abusive relationships…you must accept the past and learn to love yourself before you can have a successful relationship. You will be able to do this!

• If you are in relationship, and you are not communicating verbally and sexually, you will not be in the relationship for the long-term.

• God should be in your life and relationship or it will not succeed.

To learn more, read each chapter. Here you will discover further insights into how to achieve a happy, communicative, successful life, and long-term loving relationship.

1 

About Men

Sometimes you find yourself asking so many questions about the man you went on a date with or the man you recently met. Will he call me? Does he like me? Does he think I am pretty? Should I call him? If he does call, should I play hard to get? You have received so much advice from books, friends, family, and others. So, whom do you listen? The answer is you. How many people, books and advice columns do you have to hear and read before you settle down a bit and really listen to you? Each one of us has instincts. And yes, men do too! Put aside the expectations that you have for yourself, and the expectations that your family and society have dictated, and start listening to what your own instincts are telling you.

First, let’s establish some basic facts about men. They are quite simple. Men are human, and have essentially the same basic needs as women. Their priorities are in a different order than women’s, so it is a matter of recognizing this, and working with that fact. Now, we all know that men need to work. It is still a man’s world, and women are a part of it. Even though women have come a long way, and live much improved lives from earlier times, we still have to recognize that the basic need of a man is to be the household breadwinner. Whether it is only for himself or for his family, it is the common denominator for a man to feel that he is able to perform a skill, and be compensated for the work done. One of the primary ways that men achieve self-esteem is through their work. Along with working comes compensation. Some lines of work produce more money than others, but the bottom line is—no matter the profession or industry—if a man is not working, his self-esteem is hindered, and the chances of that man being happy, loving, confident, and a suitable life partner are pretty close to zero. Understand that men, in general, need to, and must establish a skill or profession to feel good about themselves. All females have to be supportive of this fact.

We all begin our quest of self-discovery in our adult lives by determining what it is that we are going to do to make a living. Simultaneously, while determining the way to make a living, we have other basic needs. For men, it is again quite simple—female companionship. Just as a man determines what his skill or profession will be, he determines what kind of female with whom he can: have a conversation, laugh and have fun, enjoy sexual intimacy, and receive support in his career efforts. That is really it—the bottom line. These aspects of what a man needs are simple. Once a female complicates any of the four aspects, the pursuit, courtship or relationship will end—guaranteed!

The question: Why does it have to be this way? The answer is that—it just is! Like in any sporting event, the game has rules and when broken, there are penalties. So, despite how independent and self-sufficient women feel and believe they are in today’s society, the traditional and basic male needs remain