F*CK CAREGIVING: A Practical Approach to Find the Joy in your Journey

By Nicole Y Hawkins

Have you ever felt like saying F*CK CAREGIVING? As a caregiver for three different people, I know what it feels to have resentment, fear, anger, frustration, and question why your life has changed instantly. Do we love our loved ones? Absolutely. Would we do anything to ma

• Language: English
• Publisher: iamPHOENIX Publishing
• Release date: Jul 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9780578952277

Book preview

F*CK

CAREGIVING

A Practical Approach to Find the Joy in Your Journey

Nicole Y. Hawkins

Nicole Y Hawkins. © 2021

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means- whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic- without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-0-578-95227-7

Printed in the United States of America

Cover Design: Damascus Media

Editor: Ethleen Sawyerr of Speak Write Play and

Tara Tadlock

For more information about the book and the author, please visit:

www.fckcaregivingthebook.com

www.iamPHOENIXpublishing.com

This book is dedicated to my husband, LaBaron. Without your ultimate gift of unconditional sacrificial love, this book would not be possible. You are the epitome of an exceptional partner and best friend. Thank you for loving me through every evolution of my soul.

To our two girls, Jordyn and Baylie; thank you for teaching me the art of selfless love. Thank you all for co-creating with me in this lifetime.

This book is also dedicated to the millions of caregivers in this world. Understand that this lesson will teach your many life lessons. Perspectives are made to be changed. Know your power. You got this.

All of the proceeds from this book will be given to National Caregiving Foundation. For more information, please visit, www.caregivingfoundation.org.

Table of Contents

Introduction

One: The Ugly Truth About Being a Caregiver

Two: Understanding the Deeper Meaning of Caregiving

Three: Recognize that Your Feelings are Valid

Four: Embrace Your Journey

Five: Self-management

Six: Effective Time Management

Seven: Think Ahead

Eight: Finding the Joy

Epilogue

About the Author

Introduction

Greetings! I want to first take this time to personally say thank you for purchasing this book. I am truly honored and grateful to you for allowing me to share my truth about my caregiving journey in hopes of assisting you through the difficult, yet rewarding, caregiving path that life has placed you on. By the end of this book, I hope you will have a better understanding of the ability and power you hold within you to overcome the many emotions you will inevitably experience as you traverse through the process while your loved one fights through theirs. This book will ultimately help you find a greater connection to your loved one while finding the joy in the caregiving journey.

If you’ve picked up this book, then I know it’s because you are experiencing some confusion and possibly judging yourself because of the raw emotions you are feeling while moving through your caregiving journey. I don’t claim to know it all, but I do know how difficult it is to set your entire self (mind, body, and soul) aside to take care of a loved one who’s going through a life-altering event. I also know the feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration that come with the process. You might even try to suppress those feelings because you don’t want to be viewed as selfish for having them or be judged because of them. I experienced all of these and more.

At this moment, you feel afraid, exhausted (mentally, emotionally, and physically), hurt, and like life is just weighing you down. You may feel like you are drowning. At the same time, you feel a sense of empathy, compassion, and love as you assist your loved one. You are searching for answers and solutions to those feelings and concerns that are boggling your mind. A lot of people think that caregiving is all rainbows and unicorns. But, in fact, it’s hard work that, for the most part, is done with little to no pay or is completely involuntary. Dealing with the raw emotions of such a noble yet complicated experience can create significant amounts of negative energy in the body.

Through this book, I am here to remind you that you can find the good in your journey. Yes, caregiving is one of those hard battles where you truly want to say, "F*CK CAREGIVING, but, if you reach deep down inside of yourself to find a good feeling each day, balance the ego, and let the flow of life carry you through, you’ll understand that life is full of moments that you will never get back. I want to share a great foundational map to help you through, but it is truly up to you to really put these practical approaches to use. You must decide to embrace this journey as best as you can and agree not to judge yourself while going through it because it is not an easy task to take on. By following the practical approaches outlined in this book, you will get through this journey as you have with all of life’s adversities that were presented to you on your life’s journey.

Here’s a little bit about me. I’ve been a caregiver for three of my loved ones. In total, I have 20 years of caregiving experience. It initiated with my grandmother first, where my grandfather, my husband, and I tagged team her care, our daughter second where my husband and I shared the caregiving journey together, and recently my husband where I solely took on the role as caregiver.

Throughout my caregiving journey, I lost sight of myself each and every time. But during my most recent caregiving experience, I allowed my emotions to get the best of me and began to view my experience as a burden. I was frustrated and angry—at the world and at God. I was envious of friends and family because they were able to move through their lives with fun and laughter while we had a monster to deal with. At times, I combatted depression, experienced feeling drained and burned out, and asked why on several occasions. This most recent journey with my husband affected me to the point where I lost weight and my blood pressure became an issue from all the worry and anxiety. As a caregiver, I’m sure you have had similar emotions as well.

I want you to understand that your feelings and emotions are valid. With the practical approaches that I share with you in this book, I am going to help you recognize what I call the Caregiver’s Grief and assist you with finding joy in the journey and bringing peace