Psychology of love (translated)

By Paul C. Jagot

- This edition is unique;
- The translation is completely original and was carried out for the Ale. Mar. SAS;
- All rights reserved.

What this book is about. - The mechanism of organic functions, which constitute the physical expression of love, belongs to physiology. The subject of this book is the study of the psycho-emotional states inherent in all forms and degrees of love; it is the analysis of the different processes by which one being falls in love with another; it is also the analysis, alongside the knowledge of the laws determining love, of the conditions of its duration and dissolution. The most brilliant definition of love can only be applied to a certain number of cases. Every human being, according to the intensity of his sexual instincts, the development of his sensibility and the degree of his intellectual culture, conceives love in a special way, which differs, at least in some degree, from every other conception. And since in the course of existence, tendencies, aspirations, faculties change, the same individual does not love twice in the same way. Speak of love to a person who has the most perfect analogy with your character; you will find that there is in some points a difference of opinion. If we consider Stendhal's physical love, that is to say, the purely animal attraction of sex, and love-abnegation, which he did not speak of, and which I will define in the manner of this author: "To love someone passionately is to annul oneself before his fate, when one knows that he will have a happier existence by marrying another", we will have the two extremes of the progression of love. Many people deny the existence of certain modes of love, especially of love-abnegation: "To love, they say, is above all else; it is the desire to possess the one one whom one loves, to have him or her in one's presence, to live the same life; therefore your definition does not apply to real love; never will a person in love admit to renouncing the beloved; he or she who renounces does not love". Between normal individuals of different sexes there is an attractive force, the determinism of which is revealed by physiology. This instinctive attraction of one gender to another can be specified and intensified in such and such a one - and reciprocally - by reason of certain laws of physical selection of which we are, unbeknownst to ourselves, tributaries. I define, therefore, by the expression physical love, on the one hand, the attraction by virtue of which the two sexes are incited to mate and, on the other, the phenomenon of physiological preference, likely to incline unconsciously one being towards another rather than towards a third - equally young and beautiful. Without dwelling on the identity of the causes of this physiological preference with those of sentimental preference, let us consider the latter as a distinct element of love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anna Ruggieri
• Release date: Jul 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9788892864740

Book preview

CHAPTER I - THE SENSES, THE HEART, THE IDEA

- What this book is about. - The mechanism of organic functions, which constitute the physical expression of love, belongs to physiology. It is not our task to consider it.

The subject of this book is the study of the psycho-emotional states inherent in all forms and degrees of love; it is the analysis of the different processes by which one being falls in love with another; it is also the analysis, alongside the knowledge of the laws determining love, of the conditions of its duration and dissolution.

- Definitions. - The definitions formulated by our predecessors can be divided into three categories:

One seems to consider exclusively the pleasure inherent in sexual intimacy. The most typical in this sense is that of A. de la Salle: Love is egoism in two.

Others regard love as an attraction that is both physical and moral. Chamfort's, for example: Love is the exchange of two sympathies and the contact of two epidermis.

Finally, some thinkers define love as always implying an elevated feeling: Thus Theophilus Gauthier writes: "To give oneself entirely, to keep nothing for oneself, to renounce possession and one's own free will, to place one's will in that of another, to see only with the eyes of the other, to hear only through his ears, to be but one in two bodies, to fuse and confuse one's souls so as not to be able to know whether it is you or the other, to absorb and radiate continually, to be sometimes the moon and sometimes the sun, to see the whole world and all creation in one being, to shift the centre of life, to be ready at every hour for the greatest sacrifices and the most absolute self-denial, to suffer on the breast of your loved one as if it were your own: or prodigy: to become two by giving oneself. That is love!

There is no author capable of encompassing in a short formula all that the word 'to love' can mean. This verb takes on a personal meaning for each of those who conjugate it. The images it evokes, the impressions it evokes are innumerable.

The most ingenious definition of love can only apply to a certain number of cases.

- Love is never identical with itself. Every human being, according to the intensity of his sexual instincts, the development of his sensibility and the degree of his intellectual culture, conceives love in a special way, which differs, at least in some degree, from every other conception.

And since in the course of existence, tendencies, aspirations, faculties change, the same individual does not love twice in the same way.

Talk about love with a person who has the most perfect analogy with your character: you will find that there is some difference of opinion.

If we consider Stendhal's physical love, i.e. the purely animal attraction of sex, and love-abnegation, of which he did not speak, and which I will define in the manner of this author: To love someone passionately is to annul oneself before his fate, when one knows that he will have a happier existence by marrying another, we will have the two extremes of the progression of love. These extremes include an infinity of other terms.

Many people deny the existence of certain modes of love, especially love-abnegation: 'To love, they say, is above all else; it is the desire to possess the one one you love, to have him or her in your presence, to live the same life; therefore your definition does not apply to real love; never will a person in love admit to renouncing the beloved; he or she who renounces does not love'.

Now, if I admit love-abnegation, it is from experience: I have observed different cases of it. I have, of course, tried, before concluding, to know whether the sacrifice allowed masks a less noble motive.

In one of my observations, voluntary renunciation cost the life of its hero, a man in the full vigour of age, well endowed in every respect. A few months after the marriage of the one he loved, he was found dead a few steps from the house of his love. His hand was creased on the photograph of the young woman. He had died as a result of a ruptured aneurysm.

In psychology, it is certainly good to become acquainted with the theories, but one must only conclude according to the facts.

When I speak of the above case and someone retorts: 'Love is this and not that', I invite my interlocutor to caution: the meaning of the term love cannot be limited. The only admissible generalisation is the connection of sexual attraction with such and such a sentimental gradation.

The formula for any kind of love is an equation comprising several factors, each of varying strength.

I shall therefore begin my exposition of my conception of love psychology by sketching a brief outline of these factors, these elements of love.

- The three main elements of love. - Between normal individuals of different sexes there exists an attractive force, the determinism of which is revealed by physiology. This instinctive attraction of one sex towards the other may be specified and intensified in such and such a one towards such and such a one towards the other, by reason of certain laws of physical selection of which we are, unknowingly, tributaries. If we are dealing with primitive beings, in whom animality constantly dominates, whose feelings are rudimentary and intellectuality embryonic, the formation of couples is exclusively determined by the laws of instinct.

I define, therefore, by the expression physical love, on the one hand, the attraction by virtue of which the two sexes are incited to copulate, and, on the other, the phenomenon of physiological preference, which is liable to incline one being unconsciously towards another rather than towards a third - equally young and beautiful. Without dwelling on the identity of the causes of this physiological preference with those of sentimental preference, let us consider the latter as a distinct element of love. Whether it is a question, as the adherents of monist dogma claim, of two versions, one elementary, the other complex, of the same phenomenon, matters little, since one observes - outside of all sexuality, even virtual sexuality - profound sympathies and sublime devotions. There are individualities whose feelings have a far more powerful vehemence than the instincts themselves. Affection - 'instinct of the heart', says Peladan, - can perfectly direct the senses, just as voluptuousness often develops the sensitivity of the heart and that of the spirit.

The tyranny of sexual functions is more imperious and more precise in men than in women. However, a man can love a woman sentimentally - even without possessing her - with such intensity that he feels no desire for another. The sentimental element, therefore, is likely to predominate over the physical element.

A third element presents itself to the observer: it is the idea, the cerebral synchronism. The similarity of the degree of culture, the identity of points of view, principles, artistic or scientific receptivity, intellectual temperament, in a word, creates a powerful affinity, which plays a decisive part in the factors of love. How many adventures have begun with an exchange of ideas!

Like the sentimental element, cerebral synchronism can predominate in certain loves. For many beings, this synchronism is the first condition for a powerful movement of the heart and for a voluptuous exchange.

Love, says Decrespe, if it is love, consists of simple animal need. This sentence is too absolute. Let us admit that the virtuality of the desire to possess exists from the beginning; that this desire precedes, even, in the subconscious state, the sentimental inclination, let it be so; at a given moment this desire will perhaps manifest itself imperiously, but it will not necessarily be so at the beginning. We will say, indeed, that love may exist for months, for years, without the tendency to sexual solution being very intense: the sentimental element and the cerebral element are sufficient for a long time by themselves in certain individualities. In such cases, sexuality, though latent, must nevertheless be regarded as the fundamental element.

CHAPTER II - MODE OF THE SEXUAL INSTINCT

- 1. Sexual attraction. - From the lowest degree of the ontological scale to the most refined man, the solicitation of the sexual function is felt. The healthy, normal individual feels from puberty a force of attraction for the opposite sex, and exerts on this sex a similar attraction. We must not believe in the absolute despotism of the sexual instinct. The determinism of sexual

Reviews for Psychology of love (translated)

[shosh1025 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Some of the analytical acrobatics were engagingly impressive- but it was so cis and heteronormative it looked like it was written in 1981.

*for this reason I did not get much further than the opening of chapter 2, so maybe it gets better