Sneaky Tricks For Snagging Dates And Meeting People

By John Harold McCoy

Here's a zinger for you. A guy's best source of information on meeting girls and getting dates is his mom. She's a girl and knows how girls want to be met, treated, messed with, etc. - and - she's the only girl you're ever going to know who'll tell you the truth—unslanted towards a personal agenda—about anything.

On the other hand, a girl's worst source of information on meeting guys and getting dates is her dad. Common sense: 'cause dad don't want no guys sniffing around his baby.

In the following pages, Uncle John presents the most efficient ways to get somebody of the opposite sex to mess with you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Harold McCoy
• Release date: Aug 7, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466084056

John Harold McCoy

I live in St. Petersburg, Florida. I love it here. There are dolphins in the bay and parrots in the palm trees. There are miles of beautiful gulf beaches teaming with luscious young snow bunnies, and cool, dark bars where you can guzzle margarita's while hiding from the mid-day sun.I write, read, eat, drink and sleep... and kick George (ill-tempered mutt) for crapping in the house. The four wives have all run off somewhere so I don't have to take out the garbage till I'm good and ready, and the kids find me boring and stay away - till they need something.I'm quite happy.

Book preview

Sneaky Tricks

The opposite sex and how to snare one

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By John Harold McCoy

Published by John Harold McCoy at Smashwords

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Copyright 2010 John Harold McCoy

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work

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Chapter One

THE OPPOSITE SEX AND HOW TO SNAG ONE

But first, a few very important things you should know about how it all began.

In the beginning, God said, Adam, I gave you that really nifty penis to use, not sit around and stare at all day. Now, get out there and poke something.

Adam replied, Up yours, dude. These animals get really pissed when I try that stuff, and I'm not getting my ass clawed all to hell just so you can watch.

God thought for a moment. How about I create you a bitch?

Cool, said Adam. You make it; I'll poke it.

So, God created Eve and said, Adam, this is Eve.

To which Adam exclaimed, Wow! Look at those tits.

At this, Eve uttered a disgusted Harrumph, turned on her heels, and stomped off to another part of the garden.

God, sensing trouble, hurried after her, and catching up asked, Jesus, Eve. Why are you being such a twit?

Eve replied, Who's Jesus?

God said, Never mind. What I'm concerned about is you copping an attitude just because Adam appreciates a nice rack.

Eve began to cry.

Christ, Eve, said God. Stop with the waterworks.

Eve sobbed, "Who's Christ?

Never mind, yelled God, getting a little flustered. Look. Here's the deal. It's the beginning, right? This is the time I create stuff, so I created, well, you know… all the stuff. When it was all done I decided to put something alive in this snazzy garden I'd thrown together. So, I created a penis cause I thought it would be fun to watch it poke at things. I put it here in the garden, but it just lay there on the ground doing nothing. So I put some legs on it so it could get around, but it kept bumping into things, so I stuck a brain on top to show it where to go. That worked fine, and I named it Adam. Your job is to let it poke at you once in a while. Now, is that asking too much?

Still sobbing, Eve asked, But why is it such a pig, and how about a little romance?

Number one, replied God, it's not a pig, it's a penis. Number two, well, sorry, but I didn't add any romance to it, only that poking instinct. That's really all it is, just a penis with a brain to point it towards something to poke at.

Pondering her options, Eve demanded, Okay, I'll let it poke at me occasionally, but you have to let me run the world.

God said, Uh, that'll be a little tough since it's bigger than you. But wait, I've got an idea. I'll put something really cool on you like... oh, I don't know... I'll think of something—something that will pretty much guarantee things will always go your way. How's that?

Eve, now assured she would always be in control of the world and anxious to get started, agreed, then walked back to where Adam was waiting and said, Hi there big boy! Gee, have you been working out?

So, after all was said and done, everything worked out just fine. God's happy, Eve's happy and Adam thinks he's happy.

ON THE OTHER HAND - THE ALTERNATIVE

In the beginning, God