Poor Pitiful Me An Anthology of Amish Romance

By Missy Langston

Lizzie is a restless Amish woman who eavesdrops on some of her friends talking about going on their Rumspringa. She wants desperately to tag along and do what she has thought about for a long time...leave what she considers to be her stifling Amish community for good...Following through on her plans, Lizzie discovers what some of the elders have known all along...that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trellis Publishing
• Release date: Jun 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201580124

Book preview

POOR PITIFUL ME

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MISSY LANGSTON

table of contents

POOR PITIFUL ME

ROMANCE AT THE AMISH BAKERY

EMMA’S QUIET AMISH TOWN

AMISH COMPLICATIONS

AMISH DILEMMA

ONE TRUE AMISH LOVE

AMISH HARVEST

AMELIA OF THE AMISH

Chapter One

Lizzie Stoltfuz had always seen her older brother, Dan, as more of a parent than a sibling.  He was 13 years older than her and had been deacon of their church ever since he was chosen by lot five years ago.  Now that she had made a big, big decision, she knew that she needed to share it with him first.  He would be the one to dissect her plan into little pieces in his own, methodical way. He would be one to make her second-guess herself. If he couldn’t talk her out of it,  mam and dat’s words would just be noise.

Once they were seated in his study, she blurted it straight out.  I’m going to the city of Lewisburg for my rumschpringa.

Dan blinked.  "No, you’re not.  You can’t afford it.  And anyway, going to movies and eating out in this town is one thing.  That's what I call rumpschpringa.  Leaving home is entirely different."

The English lady I worked for has passed away.  I was at the funeral just the other day.

And what does that have to do with anything?

"She left me a dorm room at Elklane University in Lewisburg.  Apparently, it’s a dorm room that nobody uses because her grandmother was one of the college’s founders and had it reserved for her.  Her will says that I can live there for one year and not pay rent or bills of any kind."

What about food?  And soap and medicine and other necessary things?  You’d still have to earn money and you’re not really qualified for most jobs.  And you don't need to be, Lizzie.  You’ve got a family that loves you.

I’ll find a job serving food.  You know I’m a pretty good cook.  Also, I want to find a church and attend it there.

Lizzie. Dan licked his lips.  He seemed to be searching for the right words. Lewisburg is no place for an Amish girl.  You may be robbed, you may be kidnapped.  People will take advantage of you. If you want to try an English job, just try one around here and live at home. You'll still find it an interesting experience.

Lizzie looked at him with both defiance and sorrow.

I don’t want to live at home.  I want to leave everything behind.

"Why?"

"Because I’m suffocating here.  I need freedom."

That’s a bit dramatic.

No.  You know me, Dan. When I want something, I fight for it.  Remember the Narnia book that was on the banned books list? I got you to read it and remove it from the list.

Bishop Yoder removed it from the list.

On your recommendation.

It didn't have any mythological creatures, which is the reason we banned the other Narnian books.  We disapprove of Greek mythology because - Dan stopped. Why are we arguing about this?  We were talking about your wish to leave.  Do mam and dat treat you so badly?

All I have to look forward to is marrying some nice fellow and then having baby after baby until I’m old and gray.  That ain’t much."

Lizzie. Dan stood.  "I can’t approve of this talk, not as your deacon or your brother.  It is very much. It is the whole meaning of a woman’s life. And what do you have to look forward to in Lewisburg?  Going to a bar every Friday night?  That’s how those people live.  They drink with random strangers, then wake up in the morning somewhere and don’t remember how they got there!"

Lizzie sat silent for a moment, shocked.  She’d never heard her brother speak about these things.  He was scholarly and gentle but had read a bit more than she did and could probably give her some good advice once he got the warnings out of the way.  

I’m not going to drink.  I’m not going to go to bars.  I want to go to the zoo maybe.

"There are small zoos around here!  Lizzie, you’re an innocent, God-fearing girl.  They’ll mistreat you there."

I’ve got to try it for a while.  Now, I came to you so you could help me arrange a cab to take me there. And I wanted to ask what else you could tell me.

You’d need a cell phone if you wanted to live on your own.  This is all going to be expensive and mam and dat are already having a hard time.

I’m not going to ask them for a penny, Lizzie said.  "But I am going to use my savings from teaching last year to get me started."

Dan winced.  Lizzie, please, please, at least try the ordinary things teenagers do during rumschpringa first.  You might find that it’s enough for you to quell your restlessness.

I’ve already made up my mind. Lizzie met his gaze, trying to hide her own fear. I am doing it, Dan.

Dan studied her a moment, then sighed heavily.  Promise me that when you want to come home, you will.  Even if its earlier than you thought.  

I promise.

____________________________________

A week later, Lizzie found herself in her room at Elklane University, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror.

Last night, she had still been home with her parents in Lancaster county.  She had eaten dinner with her family, then had closed the door to her room and cried for an hour.  It was the fear, the hope, the excitement all mixed in together, and with all of that, the knowledge that she needed to get away.  Mam and dat didn’t know everything.  She had her own reasons for going.  Even Dan didn’t know them.  She loved Dan and trusted him but this was not something he could help with.  She needed to go.

The secretary at Elklane University was puzzled about why Lizzie was there at all if she wasn't going to study at the school. But the letter she had sent a few days earlier from her late client’s lawyer was clear enough. She gave her the key card to her room and reminded her about the rules on campus.  No drugs and no alcohol, no pets and definitely no children.

I’m only nineteen years old, Lizzie had said, puzzled.

Last year, we had a student trying to bring up a baby in her dorm room. But we had to ask her to move off campus.  These rooms are just not set up for that kind of living.

Was she married?  Lizzie wondered.  She reminded herself that out here things were different.

Now, that she was settled in, she realized she was physically exhausted after walking with her suitcase from the campus entrance.  Exhausted, drained and lonely.

Sighing, she tried to turn on her brand new flip phone so she could call Dan.  But she could not figure out what to do once she entered the numbers.  Was there a button you pushed after that?  Was it the red one or the green one?

She could hear the chatter out in the hall but hesitated.  English girls...would they make fun of her dress?  Offer her alcohol?  How could she trust them?

There was bound to be a nice person in any crowd.

Lizzie stepped out and approached a girl with purple highlights in her long dark hair.  Would you show me how to use this phone?

The other girl talking to her, stared, open-mouthed.  

The dark haired girl examined the phone.  "A flip phone.  I’ve nearly forgotten how to use these.  She showed the button to Lizzie.  Have you just settled in?"

I’m not a student. Suddenly, explaining everything felt much too complicated.  I think I’ll go to bed.

Do you want to come in my room for a second? the girl asked.  I have some extra shampoo and things to give you, they put them in the rooms at the beginning of each semester as a welcome.  And you’ve missed the beginning cause you’ve arrived a month later. She smiled.  I’m Corina.

Hesitantly, Lizzie stepped in. Corina’s dorm room was cluttered with items, half of which Lizzie couldn’t even name.

Corina began to collect and place various items into a plastic bag.  You’re going to have to explain who you are sooner or later.

I’m Amish.  I lived in Lancaster.  

Why’d you come all this way?

I spent the last two years taking care of an elderly lady every weekend.  It was my part-time job. Then she passed away and left me this dorm room to live in.  Apparently, she had always owned it because he grandmother was one of the founders of the college and specified that a room should be set aside for her.  So now I’m here and I’m trying to get a job.

Corina frowned.  That doesn’t really explain why you left home.

Lizzie shrugged.  I had my reasons.

Corina’s eyebrows went up.  Hmmm, she said.  Well, don’t be a stranger.  I’m sort of weird but I’m friendly. Knock on my door anytime.  And if you ever need a computer, I have a laptop you can use.

Lizzie was going to say that she didn’t need a computer but, after all, in this new environment, who knew what she might need.  She muttered a thanks and went back to her room.

Before bed, she whispered a quick prayer to God.  She thanked him for her safe trip.  She thanked him for the kindness of Corina. And she prayed that she could forgive a certain someone for treating her very badly a long time ago.  

She prayed but did not feel like her prayer was being answered.

____________________________________________________

For three days, Lizzie wandered the streets around Elklane, stopping in at coffee and sandwich shops and asking them if they had any positions open.  It became clear very soon that she needed to put down an address, and since the school was her address, Lizzie started saying that she was a student at Elklane, simply to avoid complicating things.

Was she already committing a sin by lying?  She didn’t see how it could be helped.

Finally, she was hired at a pizza place to roll dough, sprinkle cheese on the pizza pies and clean tables after the guests leave. The manager asked to see her social security card, then nodded knowingly when she told him she didn’t have one.

We’ll pay you in cash, he’d said and Lizzie nodded, wondering why he looked so secretive.

Chapter Two

In the following month, Lizzie bought modern-looking clothes at thrift stores and learned to eat Chinese, Mexican and Jamaican food in the shops around Elklane. She worked 7 hours a day. In her free time, she went to the college library and read.  

Corina knocked on her door every couple of nights.  Come watch a movie in my room, she said, but Lizzie didn’t want to hang out in a room full of college girls.  They were loud.  They were boisterous.  They wore bright makeup, sometimes they cursed, and Lizzie just could not get comfortable around them.

She tried to explain this to Corina once and Corina slapped herself on the forehead.  I should have known you’d feel like that.  She looked concerned.  "But see, it’s no good for a girl to be so isolated.  You want to just meet for lunch, one on one?  Hell, I won’t use slang around you.  She caught Lizzie’s startled look.  Sorry."

They met at a Starbucks around the corner of Elklane.

So, Corina said.  What’s it like living away from the Amish?  Is it hard?

Lizzie wasn’t sure how to explain. "There’s a lot I don’t know.  Like movie references.  And using the internet. But people are still people.  And I’m still me.  I like making pizza just as I always liked cooking back home.  I like making people full and comfortable."

But don’t they have all these charming cafes that advertise Amish cooking in your area?

Yah, they do.

Then, why go all the way to Lewisburg?

Lizzie focused on her coffee.  She couldn’t explain.

Corina sighed.  I’m not trying to be nosy. But I would give anything to be Amish like you, to have a nice, complete family all together and not fragmented and all over the place.

What do you mean?

My parents are divorced and live in different parts of Pennsylvania.  My brother lives all the way in New York City.  Me, I’m divorced, just like my parents.  We’re all in bits and pieces.

Lizzie wondered how it was possible to get married and divorced by age twenty-one. Back at home, such circumstances have been seen as a tragedy.  But Corina didn’t act like a victim.  She was cheerful and embraced life as well as anyone could.

Life isn’t easy for anyone, Lizzie pointed out.

It can hardly be that bad if you have a family and a home to go to.

I don’t feel...I don’t feel safe at home right now, Lizzie admitted.  Some stuff happened.

Corina’s eyes softened. Poor kid.  You’ve got to come to church with me this Sunday.  My brother’s visiting this weekend, the three of us could go somewhere.

Lizzie could not understand why Corina would choose to invite her.  She knew she was quiet and modest, not particularly entertaining.  Corina was frequently surrounded by groups of girls.  They had study groups and poetry slams.  Yet, when she had been given precious time to spend with her brother, she invited Lizzie to come along.

She could only call it kindness.

Chapter Three

Corina’s brother Andrew was tall with curly dark hair.  After a brief conversation with Lizzie, he let his eyes show his disbelief.

"Do you mean you haven’t watched a full movie even once since you’ve moved to Lewisburg?"

I’ve watched some short videos on Youtube through Corina’s laptop, Lizzie said quietly.  Was this so important?

They were sitting in Corina’s room at about 9 PM Friday night.  Andrew had arrived an hour prior.

Andrew shook his head at Corina.  I’m disappointed in you.

Corina threw a pillow at him.  Oh, please.

"Show her Les Mis, the live-action film.   We’ve got to start somewhere."

Corina frowned.  I don’t know.  What about all those prostitutes?

It’s not portrayed as a good thing, is it?  Andrew reached out and patted Lizzie on the shoulder jovially.  "You’ll like Les Mis.  Don’t worry, it’s not actually in French."

Actually, I’ve read about half of the novel, Lizzie said.  They only had the first half available at my local library back home.  A volume this thick.

That’s great. Andrew went on to ask her about life among the Amish, what she’d read, what she had learned as a child in school.  He was just as friendly and curious as Corina, but the way his eyes kept going to her long blond hair made Lizzie self-conscious. She wondered if he was very much older than she was.  

Finally, she dared to ask a question of her