Undefiled

By Raykel Tolson

Liz desires to be married, but she chose a man just like her father who lied, cheated and ultimately left his family. After a year of wishing her ex-boyfriend and father of her son would come back, Liz is devastated to learn he is engaged. Despite the difficult news, Liz is determined to press forward and find true love and eventually marry. &nb

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tolson Publishing
• Release date: Aug 31, 2018
• ISBN: 9781732414013

Book preview

1

Liz and her thirteen-year-old son, Justice, walked into the same two-bedroom home where she grew up in South Central Los Angeles. The outside of the house still looked exactly the way it did when Liz was thirteen, white with green trim and the rose bush in front of the porch. However, Liz made alterations to the interior of the house after she inherited it when her mother died a few years prior. She added a master bathroom, so she wouldn’t have to share a bathroom with Justice, and updated the kitchen cabinets, countertops, and appliances. Liz did not spend much time in the kitchen since she didn’t like to cook. Nevertheless, it was the first room she saw when she walked into the house from the garage, so Liz felt it should be pleasing to her eyes.

Justice, will you get the mail please? Liz asked, before taking her purse and packages to her room.

Justice walked to the front of the house to retrieve the mail, returned, and tossed it on the kitchen counter next to the fruit bowl. He took an apple from the bowl before retreating to his bedroom.

Really, we just ate, Liz complained as she walked back into the kitchen.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Justice took an exaggerated bite of the apple and smiled.

Liz shook her head and smiled. Justice was becoming quick-witted, and Liz didn’t know whether to be impressed or upset. She picked up the mail to see if she had anything other than bills and junk mail. She came to a white square envelope from Atlanta, addressed to her and Justice. Liz opened the envelope. Inside was a postcard that read, Save the Date for the wedding of Brian and Natasha. Liz couldn’t finish reading the card.

Justice! Come here, Liz yelled.

Justice immediately ran into the kitchen with the half-eaten apple in his hand, because his mom rarely yelled at him or for him. What’s wrong?

How long have you known about Natasha? Why didn’t you tell me? Liz grilled.

Dad’s friend, Natasha?

Liz held up the Save the Date card, and answered, She’s more than just a friend. Your dad is marrying her. You were just in Atlanta with your dad for Christmas. You could have warned me, Justice. Liz handed Justice the card, then retreated to her bedroom before releasing unshed tears.

Justice scanned the card, threw it in the trash along with his half-eaten apple, and then followed his mother to her bedroom. Liz flopped onto her bed. Justice stood at the door. Tears were flowing from Liz’s eyes, so she buried her face in her pillow.

Justice spoke softly and apologetically, Ma, Dad introduced Natasha to me as his friend this Christmas. I didn’t think it was that serious. She didn’t spend a lot of time at his house or anything. I had no idea they were getting married. I’m so sorry for not telling you about her.

Okay, Liz whimpered into the pillow.

Justice walked over to Liz and placed his hand on her back. Please don’t cry, Ma.

Lifting her head from the pillow, but not looking at him, Liz responded, I’ll be okay. I just need some time alone.

Justice walked out of the room with his head lowered. He felt awful. He hated to see his mom cry. Justice had been relieved when his dad moved to Atlanta last year because he was tired of his parents arguing and his mother crying. He went into his room and played video games.

Liz cried for a while longer before she got up out of bed to go through her nightly routine.

Justice entered her bathroom while Liz was removing makeup from her face, and looking apologetically at Liz, he said, Ma, I locked up and turned all the lights off. Goodnight.

Liz turned and hugged Justice. He squeezed her tightly. Liz knew he hated that she was hurting.

I’ll be okay, baby. I’m sorry I made you feel like you did something wrong. Liz could feel Justice relax in her arms. She released him from the embrace and said, Goodnight, baby. Don’t forget to say your prayers.

Goodnight, Ma. I’m gonna pray that God sends you a man better than my dad to be your husband, Justice promised before he walked out of the room.

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As Liz wrapped her hair, she studied her reflection in the mirror. All of her life, people had told her that she was pretty, but her self-esteem had taken a beating every time Brian cheated on her. Her blemish-free, light brown skin, honey brown eyes, small nose, and long hair, coupled with her toned size-eight body, was no longer enough to make Liz feel beautiful. For the life of her, Liz did not know why she loved Brian so much. He had constantly lied to her and broken promises to her and Justice. Brian constantly told Liz that he loved her, but she never really felt loved by him.

Liz set the hairbrush down and placed the silk scarf around her head. She walked into her bedroom, knowing that loneliness would smother her if she got into the bed that she and Brian had once shared. Liz had allowed Brian to move into her home after her mother died. Having him in the house kept her from sinking into a deep depression. The two of them had been raising their son together under the same roof which made Liz content. Living together had also seemed to keep Brian from cheating. Liz would have been happier if Brian would’ve married her, but life was comfortable, so she didn’t complain. Brian, getting the job offer in Atlanta, and his decision to move without her had been devastating.

Tomorrow I search for a new bed and mattress, Liz said aloud to herself. Then she took a pillow, grabbed the throw that lay at the foot of her bed, and went into the living room. She sat on the couch and reached for the remote to turn on the 43-inch television that was mounted on the living room wall. Liz turned the sound down low and flipped through channels until she landed on HGTV, but watching the newlywed couple looking for a home to buy made her cry herself to sleep.

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Liz woke up feeling sore from sleeping on the couch, so she decided to skip church. She just lay on the couch, wondering why she had chosen to love a man just like her father. Her mother had endured her father’s cheating until it resulted in a baby outside of their marriage. Liz’s father left their home when she was a freshman in high school, and she hadn’t seen him since that day. He attempted to call and see Liz, but she took her mother’s side and wanted nothing to do with her father. Liz stopped attending Allen family functions, so she would not run into her father. She only remained close to her cousin, Denise, who was her best friend growing up.

Liz received a card from her father when her mother died. He offered his condolences and asked for her forgiveness. Liz had stored the card in a box with the other cards she had received, and refused to call, as he requested. Now, Liz found herself in the same lonely predicament as her mother, who died at sixty, having never remarried or opened her heart to another man. Liz did not want that to be the story of her life.

Liz’s cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She didn’t want to answer but saw that it was Mama Edna. Liz met Edna Harden when she joined Grace Church a couple of years ago. Liz shared with Edna that her mother had recently died of a heart attack, and Edna stepped in as a surrogate mother to Liz.

Hello, Mama Edna, Liz greeted.

Where are you? Edna asked. I didn’t see you at church.

I don’t feel well, so I decided to stay home, Liz explained.

What’s the matter, you catching that cold I have?

No, ma’am. My body is achy from sleeping on the couch.

Since you’re not contagious, I expect you and Justice for Sunday dinner. We’re eating at two o’clock. Okay, Edna commanded.

Okay, Liz repeated before disconnecting the phone.

There was no arguing with Mama Edna. The first Sunday the two met, Edna had invited Liz and Justice to have Sunday dinner with her and her family. Edna introduced Liz to her youngest son, Ed, his wife Kara, and their children, Ed Jr and Nevaeh. Liz and Kara discovered they were sorority sisters, and soon became fast friends. Liz and Justice had been a part of the Harden family ever since having Sunday dinner with them.

2

Liz and Kara sat at the kitchen counter while Edna finished preparing dinner. Liz loved spending time in Edna’s home because it was so warm and welcoming, decorated in gold, brown and red hues. Her home wasn’t huge or decorated expensively, but it was full of love and peace. Unfortunately, today, the house hadn’t worked its magic on Liz yet, and she still felt miserable.

Liz looked from Edna to Kara, and blurted, Brian is getting married.

And are we sad about it? Edna asked.

I’m sad about it, Liz responded.

Okay, then we’re sad, but tell me why, Edna said as she cut the vegetables for the salad.

Liz looked at Edna, dumbfounded, and a few tears slipped from her eyes before she responded. What’s wrong with me? Brian and I were together for thirteen years, and we have a son. Not once did he even hint that he wanted to marry me, but now he is marrying someone he met no more than one year ago. I’m sad, mad, hurt, disgusted, and devastated.

Edna walked over to Liz and wrapped her arms around her. Liz cried on Edna’s shoulders.

Wait, back up! Kara interjected. How did you find out he was getting married?

Liz and Edna released one another from the hug. Edna pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of her apron and handed it to Liz. Liz wiped her face before answering, I got a Save the Date card yesterday.

What an asshole! There was no reason for him to send you that card. Kara insisted angrily. Everybody needed a friend like Kara, Liz thought. Kara was always ready to fight for her friends.

I guess he sent it because he wants Justice to attend the wedding, Liz guessed, but now she wondered why it was addressed to both of them. Brian could not possibly want her at his wedding.

I’m sure he does, but he could have called Justice. Girl, he sent the postcard to hurt you. And it worked, didn’t it?

Liz nodded her head and willed herself not to start crying again. Kara put her hand on top of Liz’s hand.

Edna shook her head in disgust, and admitted, I never liked him. He didn’t deserve you, baby. You are much better off without him. As far as I’m concerned, you dodged a bullet. Remember what Pastor taught us, rejection is just God’s way of redirecting us to better. So, let’s make today the last time we cry over Brian. Edna coughed, covering her mouth with her arm.

I know I’m probably better off without Brian. If he loved me, he never would have left.