Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

By Elsabe Smit

Do you tend to make snap judgments about others and jump to conclusions? Do you blame people for the experiences you have? Have you noticed how people radiate their strong emotions and wondered if you do the same? Elsabe Smit explains how our emotions cloud our judgement and get us into trouble. This book is not about blame or guilt, or other time-wasting uses of energy. The book is about explaining how we can manage and use our emotions in our favour. Imagine being in charge of every situation because you are in a space of calmness and in control.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 24, 2020
• ISBN: 9781716306860

Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known international coach, facilitator, author, and public speaker that uses her clairvoyant and intuitive skills in her daily life to assist all of those that she comes into contact with, in her professional life.She has an MBA (Master Business Administration), a MA in Industrial Psychology, and extensive experience as a Business Analyst. Using all her knowledge, skills and competencies, Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives.Elsabe Smit was born and raised in South Africa and has lived in Ireland, South Africa and the UK since 2000.After years of facing numerous personal challenges, involving her relationship with her drug- and alcohol-addicted mother, living with and getting divorced from an abusive husband, being a single mother, being a mistress for a period of time, and then facing unemployment, she one day realized that she had been given the amazing gift of intuition and clairvoyance.Using her newly discovered gifts, she then rediscovered herself. She learned that all her past experiences, "good" and "bad", were only steppingstones on her life's blueprint towards loving and accepting herself.Having always having had a keen interest in human behavior, this discovery took her on a different path, adding the study of life, death and spirituality to her interests. During that journey she explored NLP and embraced Quantum Physics. Elsabe studied some of the world's best acknowledged researchers and gurus in the fields of relationships, health and business.During her professional life Elsabe's career included lecturing at a South African University, being a Human Resources Manager various companies and being a freelance business analyst.In between the various permanent positions and contracts, she developed her reputation as a sought-after author, speaker, facilitator, coach and mentor.As an author, some of her books are today still in use as prescribed textbooks for university and college students in South Africa. Other books have been published and are available on your favorite e-book site, and some books have been published as e-books which she shares as free gifts.As a speaker, facilitator and trainer she has presented numerous programmes to groups ranging from a dozen to hundreds of people. The subject matter has been as varied and interesting as her life.As a mentor, she coached and mentored small business owners, blue-chip executives and employees covering a myriad of professions, employment levels and industries.Don't forget her contribution to the world of psychics. She's been on various radio and TV shows with international audiences. In addition, Elsabe has done thousands of personal psychic readings for people from all walks of life located in various countries - including one for a death row inmate in a US prison.Throughout her life Elsabe has been passionately focused on identifying the nuances that make a difference in people lives, the why's of birth, life and death - and now it's your turn to tap into the vast wealth of knowledge and experiences that she has gained during her lifetime, so that like Elsabe ...YOU can also Discover yourself and Love YOUR Life.

Book preview

Improve Your Emotional Intelligence:

The Spiritual Development of Your Emotions

The Enlightenment Series Volume 2

Elsabe Smit

ISBN: 978-1-716-30686-0

Published by Elsabe Smit

Copyright 2021 Elsabe Smit

Visit my website at http://www.ElsabeSmit.com

This book is available in print at most online retailers.

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. I am not associated with any product or vendor in this book.

Cover: Terri Radcliffe at www.brandrepublica.com

Contents

1 A Bad Hair Day

2 A Shattered Relationship

3 Vegan Friends

4 Can we Heal the World with Love?

5 Heard the One About the Elephant and the Ant?

6 Hold Your Horses

7 Watch Your Thoughts

8 How to Apportion Blame

9 Changing First and Second Impressions

10 Closing the Chapter on Bullies

11 The Spiritual Purpose of Telling Lies

12 Inner Conflict and Outer Tension

13 Ever Lasting Peace?  I Think Not

14 What Do People Say About You?

15 Hold Your Own Memories

16 Please Make Me Happy

17 Newsflash: Ups and Downs Happen

18 The Moment of Forgiveness

19 What to Do with Photographs and Old Memories

20 Promises and Deliveries

21 I Now Declare You …

22 How Long Should Marriage Vows Last?

23 On Mistresses and Morals

24 Bigamy Does Not Undermine the Institution of Marriage

25 Letting Go of a Relationship

26 How Can You Do This to Me?

27 Love and Marriage

28 Unhappy Families Are a Blessing

29 I Need a Divorce - and Quickly

30 You Cannot Make Anyone Love You

31 Beware of a Family Without Differences

32 How Do You Bond with Your Loved Ones?

33 A Sense of Belonging

34 Murder, Yes; Divorce, Never

35 Dealing with the Death of a Partner

36 Letting Go of Resentment

37 Getting Divorced - Without the Paperwork

38 Marrying into a Dream

39 Can You Trust Your Intuition in a Relationship?

40 Moving on From the Wrong Relationship

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Throughout the book, there are times when you are required to pause and reflect. Make notes, answer the question or complete the exercise.

1 A Bad Hair Day

When we wake up in the morning, we all look like a version of the devil in the children’s bible, with hair standing in all directions.  We then choose how to approach the day, and if we make the wrong choice, we have a ‘bad hair day’.  Is that fair on our hair?  And some young people (and people who want to believe they are still young) spend a fortune on hair gel and cultivating that porcupine look that the rest of us try to get rid of before we leave the house.

We all feel less than great at times.  Of course, there is the ‘bad hair day’, which friends can commiserate with because, like you, they know this is nothing serious.  It really is a cry for a friend to go with you to buy another pair of shoes or a pint of beer, whichever way you are inclined. You recognize these people because one talks all the time and the other one only says knowingly I know . . .  Isn’t it just . . .  I know . . . Of course, not . . . and so on.  We all need that from time to time.  I have a client who only calls me about twice a year.  When she calls, I know it is so that I can listen to her tales and tell her she is a great person.

Then there are the days when we simply choose to feel like whining about things, especially the weather and the government.  (Why on earth does everyone the world over have such an obsession with the weather?)  When we choose to have a miserable day, the worst we can encounter is someone who is radiant with happiness, because it somehow tells us we are wrong, and that makes our day worse.

When was the last time you woke up out of sorts and your day just got worse?  How did you manage it?

Of course, we can consciously choose to change our mood.  It does take some effort, like finding your direction again when you get lost in a city you do not know.  You can continue to just drive until you leave the city, and then retrace your steps to get to your destination, or you can focus on driving to the end of the one-way street, and then use your inner compass to go into the right direction and be on your way again.

If you feel like whining and complaining but choose to rather jump up and down, do a few war cries and take a few deep breaths, you will immediately pop out of the whining mood, because you will simply have too much energy to hang your shoulders and your face.  You may get a few funny looks in the office, but at least you will feel much better for the rest of the day – and get a laugh out of other whining people which will make them feel better.  Try it – it works. 

Of course, laughing also raises your vibrations. It does not matter whether it is a giggle by yourself or a deep laugh that comes from your stomach. 

You do not need to laugh at a good joke.  All you need to do is laugh and notice how your emotions change.  There are companies that have tried this – a laughing session to start the day – and it improved their productivity. 

They did not allow any jokes – at some point you could either run out of jokes or offend someone - and people’s sense of humour differ anyway.  Laughing works all the time if you want to raise the energy in a room, and it is contagious.

There is also the darkness that we experience after an incident, like a divorce or an accident.  Some people experience it and then decide to move on (this takes time, but we all have our incidents and it is possible to accept them as part of our life path and then move on). 

How do you define yourself?  If you are not happy with your answer, how can you change that definition and then be happy with the person you see in the mirror?

Other people define themselves in terms of that incident for the rest of their lives, and often join organizations that make them feel like traitors if they choose to move on.  I am referring to organizations that help people recover from alcoholism or rape or losing a child and so on.  I am sure they initially do good work, but the survival of the organization depends on having dedicated members – people who choose to relive their experiences for a long time rather than integrate the experiences and get on with their lives.

If you are simply having a bad hair day, trust me, nothing beats retail therapy.  Just don’t buy any clothes when you are in such a mood, because when you feel better and you see what you have spent your money on, you will get yourself into a mother of a depression.

2 A Shattered Relationship

There are few life events that are as life-shattering as ending a long-term relationship, whether it is a divorce or widowhood or a decision to part ways without any contractual ties.

Dealing with the practical arrangements, for example a funeral, dividing property or settling for child maintenance, and the paperwork related to the split, are often the easy parts.  However, even these actions can add to the immense turmoil of emotions that suddenly explode when a beloved partner is no longer there for you.

If the partner was not necessarily beloved and there is the additional trauma of an abusive relationship that has suddenly ended, it is no wonder that some people become unable to function and do even the simplest things.

Many recently single people are at first unaware of the immense anger that they radiate. They like to believe that their friends avoid them because the friends do not understand or no longer want them as friends. 

Have you ever felt or noticed this anger about a separation?

But consider this: have you ever been introduced to a person and immediately felt - for no good reason - that you do not want to be in the presence of this person?  Have you ever seen someone for example on television – a person that you have never even met – and had a similar reaction to this stranger?  This is an intuitive and illogical response that is often later justified (at least in your own mind) when you receive more information about the person.

People tend to intuitively have a similar response to grieving people.  I say similar, because when you meet a person that is shattered by grief and struggling to keep themselves together for even the simplest task, you do not necessarily dislike them – on the contrary. 

You rather feel their immense pain and confusion of the grieving person at an unconscious level.  You also intuitively observe the aura of the grieving person – and you do this regardless of your belief that you are not able to ‘see’ auras.

How do you normally deal with grief – your own or someone else’s?

If you have had similar experiences in the past and managed to work through your own experiences, you will be able to respond intuitively in your own way.  You will be able to acknowledge and neutralize some of the anger