Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age

By Dina Alexander, Melody Bergman and Jenny Webb

Parenting in the digital age has never been tougher. It seems the world is changing around us at an ever-increasing speed with new technology, massive amounts of information, and new dangers lurking everywhere--especially online.

At school and in our communities our kids are talking about BIG topics and they have questions. Whe

• Language: English
• Publisher: Educate and Empower Kids
• Release date: Apr 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9781733658577

Dina Alexander

Dina Alexander is the founder and CEO of Educate and Empower Kids (educateempowerkids.org), an organization determined to strengthen families by teaching digital citizenship, media literacy, and healthy sexuality education-including education about the dangers of online porn. She is the creator of Noah's New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good, Petra's Power to See: A Media Literacy Adventure, How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography and the 30 Days of Sex Talks and 30 Days to a Stronger Child programs. She received her master's degree in recreation therapy from the University of Utah and her bachelors from Brigham Young University. She is an amazing mom and loves spending time with her husband and three kids.

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TECHNOLOGY

We have created a world full of technology and every human is affected by its power and influence—especially kids! Each time we text, send an email, post on social media, interact with others in a game, or create a new piece of technology, we create ripples.

All of our actions online and in real life create ripples (small waves of change) around us.

The topics in this section provide a great opportunity to talk about the enormous power and responsibility each of us hold within our smartphones and other tech we use. Use the following questions and activities to discuss the great potential available in technology and how we can practice healthy tech boundaries.

1. USING TECHNOLOGY FOR GOOD

We can create amazing ripples (small waves of change) when we use technology for good. This idea is often referred to as positive digital citizenship—using tech to enhance your family, school, and community through tolerance, kindness, authenticity, and ingenuity.

Examples of using tech for good include: posting an uplifting quote, complimenting someone on social media or in a text, cheering someone up with a joke or funny meme, creating a petition on a website like change.​org to help make a difference in your community, sharing useful, true information online, standing up for someone who is being treated poorly, using an app or online forum to organize local people to volunteer to serve others, or starting an online movement to bring awareness to an important issue.

However you choose to use technology, make sure you are the same person online, offline, and everywhere in between, whether you think someone is watching or not.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

What are some things you can do with a smartphone, tablet, or computer?

What can you learn, teach others, and create?

What are some ways we can help and uplift others and create positive ripples with technology?

Are you the same person online that you are in real life?

Technology has made it easier to reach out to presidents, senators, mayors, favorite authors, experts, celebrities, and other influential people through email or social media. Who would you like to connect with and why?

Websites, forums, and social media make it possible to connect with organizations and people who care about the same things you might care about (animals, sports, the environment, assisting refugees, etc.).

What groups and individuals would you like to join or learn more about?

Technology is powerful! How can you change the world using technology?

ACTIVITIES

Post Something Positive

Set a goal to use your smartphone to lift and build up others. Create a plan that will help you to remember to text or post positive, uplifting comments to friends and family members on a daily basis.

Petition for Change

Create a petition on change​.org to create a crosswalk for a busy street, add a playground to a park, eliminate plastic bags in your local community, or any other project you feel will create positive change in your local community.

Commit to Stand Up

Learn how to stop online bullying on beca​useof​you.org. Make a commitment to be a good digital citizen, and stand up for the victim if you see someone being mistreated online.

CITATIONS/RESOURCES

Alexander, D. (2017). Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good. (J. Webb, M. Warner, and T. Mattsson, eds.). Rising Parent Media.

Educate and Empower Kids. (n.d.). Lesson: Using Technology for Good. Retrieved from https​://educate​empower​kids​.org​/wp​-content​/uploads​/2016​/09​/Techno​logy​For​Good_​Lesson​Plan.​pdf.

Farrin, F. and M. Bergman. (n.d.). 10 Ways Kids Can Use Technology for Good. Retrieved from https​://educate​empower​kids​.org​/4381-2/.

Hawks, H. (n.d.). 5 Ways Kids Can Use Smartphones for Good. Retrieved from https​://educate​empower​kids​.org​/5​-ways​-kids-can-use-smartphones-good/.

2. SCREENS EVERYWHERE

Media messages are very powerful and we are surrounded by them. On every screen we look at, we are engaging with a type of media whether it is a movie, an app, a book, a website, a video game, or an online advertisement.

Because we spend so much time with phones, laptops, and other devices, it is vital that we understand the messages we are consuming and set firm, realistic boundaries about how much time we spend with screens.

Even when we are doing useful, necessary tasks with screens like homework, research, reading the news, emailing, etc., we should be aware of how the hours of screen time are affecting us.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

When we are in front of a screen, especially our phones, are we being deliberate and intentional with our actions or are we bored, finding it easy to fill up time by simply scrolling through a feed?

Are you able to complete a job or finish a homework assignment without checking your phone several times?

What is a healthy amount of time to spend in front of a screen each day?

What is an appropriate age for kids to receive a smartphone?

If you have a phone, what are some things you use it for?

What are some ways your siblings and parents use their phones?

How much texting or posting on social media in one day is too much?

Do you have device free time? For example, do you put phones and tablets away at dinner time?

Much of our screen time is media-based—this includes social media like Facebook or Instagram.

How does media affect our choices or shape our beliefs, political views, and attitudes?

Can you recognize the signs in yourself that most people exhibit when spending too much time on screens (irritability, withdrawal, lack of attention, problems with impulse control)?

STAYING SAFE

With technology being easily accessible to kids through smartphones, tablets, and computers, they are also easily exposed to violence, sexual imagery, and online predators.

Is your family having open conversations about online safety and some of the dangers encountered on the internet?

Predators will always go where kids are, and today, kids are online.

How can we protect ourselves, our kids, and our personal information from predators? How else do we stay safe online?

GAMING

Kids and adults spend a lot of time playing video games on smartphones, tablets, and computers.

Can lessons be learned while gaming?

Is there value in construction-based games like Minecraft?

Can gaming together with siblings or family members build family relationships?

Is gaming a positive coping skill (a way to relax or process stress)?

ACTIVITY

Break It Down

Media’s messages can be deconstructed. This means we can break apart their elements to determine the real message. This can be done with ads, TV shows, YouTube videos, or basically anything you can find on a screen!

Look at an advertisement (an online ad, or an ad from a magazine) together and ask the following questions:

What methods were used in this ad to get our attention? Why was this ad made?

What is the overall message? What is the underlying or hidden message?

How does this advertisement make you feel?

CITATIONS/RESOURCES

Alexander, D. (2017). Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using