Daring to Share: Deception to Truth

By Diana Reyers

Compelling, jaw-dropping, emotional roller coasters and lessons of love and learning are only some of the words I can think to describe the stories in Diana’s book Daring to Share: Deception to Truth! And yet, even these seem inadequate in a sense. From Thomas’ lessons as a man traveling through unchartered territory to Anne’s

• Language: English
• Publisher: Daringly Mindful
• Release date: Oct 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781999401054

Diana Reyers

Diana Reyers is an Authentic Leadership Global™ Program and Conversation facilitator and the founder of Daring to Share Global.™ As a creative introvert, she learned early in life that the ability to belong without succumbing to external expectations of changing one's inner self was a rare gift only provided to those courageous enough to show up as a reflection of their soul. She had a deep knowing that she did not need to heal but yearned to evolve as her best self, given where she was within her level of personal awareness. She began storytelling as a young child because it provided her with the ability to step into her uniqueness while fighting to fit into a world where extroverts are honoured and introverts are shamed. Through her teen years and well into adulthood, Diana lost herself, and at the age of 49, dug deep to re-introduce herself to her authenticity. Well into her personal work, she discovered the power of conversation and began sharing her story; she found a voice that people listened to while resonating with her stories.Diana used her ability to share her story with her voice and through the written word in order to experience the genuine love that comes from feelings of acceptance and inclusion. By committing to and living in line with her values and beliefs, she felt the inspiring energy of connection and an unconditional sense of belonging. Diana is a Human Advocate passionate about inspiring others to share their truth no matter how uncomfortable it may be. She knows that when we trust our story, we become empowered to share it and a spark of connection is ignited; the magic of storytelling takes us to compassion and empathy, and an amplified feeling of human-kindness is created.

Book preview

by Diana Reyers

Founder of Daring to Share

My life has been filled with many blessings along with challenges that at times I wasn’t sure I would get through. When I was younger I was unable to manage my adversities with decisiveness because I wasn’t aware which thoughts passing through my mind were true and which weren’t. Much of what I eventually committed to believing about myself became perceptions created as a result of what and who I was surrounded by and my interpretation of how they responded to me. Subconsciously, I showed up within deception disguised as truth.

For me, deception is most obvious within what other people say or do. If I have a choice, I prefer these blatant untruths because their transparency allows me to manage them with decisiveness. They appear in front of me, I see their behaviour, I hear their words, I know what is true or false and I confidently make a choice based on what my integrity can tolerate. This often involves a conversation, compassion, and forgiveness on both sides; the telling of and listening to all stories.

The more difficult deception to assess and move through is the one that presents disguised by fear. It is the kind of deception that transpires from not doing or saying what needs to be done or said. By ignoring what is right and just, we deceive ourselves and others by not showing or speaking our truths. We have our version of the story, but how can we be sure it is completely accurate? Out of fear, we also choose to walk away rather than have the difficult conversation that will provide clarification by listening. We’re not telling a lie but we’re also not telling a truth; silence becomes our betrayal.

It becomes betrayal because it creates ambiguity which results in false perceptions all around. No one receives all the pieces of the story and it becomes distorted. People are pushed aside through judgment; stigma and acute disconnection is the end result. Pretending to be anything but the truth creates a world of deceptive fantasy and creates devastating degrees of emotional damage.

I remember when I first realized the degree my truth was compromised when the people closest to me weren’t able to release me from my deceptive existence. I assumed that if I began making decisions based on how I truly felt and guided by my newly discovered values, everyone around me would celebrate and accept my new, yet very real, normal. My reality quickly shifted as their reaction did not feel like acceptance, but rather judgment.

At that time, I was hurt, betrayed and angry. I wondered how anyone could deny me my truth, my authentic way of being and feeling. After moving through some extremely painful years, I realized that I was responsible for their reaction to my new way of being because I never invited the uncomfortable conversation they needed in order to understand who I really am. I didn’t share my story with them or give them the opportunity to listen to it. I also recognized that they carried some of the onus because they never asked me for the details of how I discovered this newfound truth; they never asked me to tell my story.

There is no shame or blame to bear with the absence of awareness or where we land within the degree of wisdom that comes with personal clarity. For either party, we can only do the best we can within the level of personal evolution we have achieved as a result of moving through both our struggles and celebrations; Deception to Truth.

Deception can be viewed as an adversary, but, although difficult to experience, it is also a great teacher. Truth is always my intention; being my truth, speaking my truth and thus, honouring my truth. I deeply feel when I am being deceptive and when I am being deceived; I cannot tolerate either in that I must make both right as soon as they are presented to me. I believe that we can exist in a world that is guided by and honours our individual truths and forgives our deceptions. It’s just going to take some major mindset reframing and a whole lot of practice for our current society to release an atmosphere that breeds the deception of perfectionism while simultaneously embracing the confidence to nurture the truth of imperfection.

The dilemma is the result of the human mind’s natural need to self-preserve in order to fulfill our yearning for connection. Somewhere along the line connection has been translated into the creation of the fantasy of acceptance that meets the perception of expectations. Because we are so personally disconnected, we have become attracted to the subconscious conditioning of needing the fantasy of connection created through social media. So wanting to be part of a tribe can move us into the deception that confuses the façade of true connection with a placebo effect of the same. The intention may or may not be there to trick you into a feeling of false belonging, but it is imperative that we take the time to know our truth intimately so we can, ultimately, make our own and righteous choice to decide what is uniquely authentic for each of us without feeling ostracized as a result.

The Daring to Share Movement is about finding the story that feels and is right for you and stepping into it with all that you’ve got. Like I did, it may mean that you discover deceptive chapters written long ago that are now ready to be released to make space for your truth. If this is the case, make sure to share what that truth is with someone willing to listen. Your story is worthy of being heard and it will inspire the understanding of who you are in everyone you share it with. Know that no one’s story is pretty through and through; we all have messy parts and most are uncomfortable to absorb. But, within being uncomfortable comes the awesome awareness that, just as each of our truths are unique and different, we have heaps of deceptive shit to plow through in order to get to and experience our individual beauty of what is real.

What I discovered much later in my life was that the personal story I committed to long ago was not necessarily the one I would have chosen had I known who I am from my soul. I developed an outward personality whose foundation was built on the beliefs of others and the expectations I thought I needed to fulfill. I didn’t know any differently and as I transitioned from childhood to adulthood they eventually created an uneasiness within me that I couldn’t live with anymore.

It presented as a consistent discomfort of living in a lie, but it took me a long time to understand it and find the clarity surrounding why I felt it was necessary to try to fit into a world that I didn’t believe would accept my true self. Early on, it never occurred to me that I could abandon my self-deception, and back then I’m not sure I wanted to because it provided me with the ability to survive in a world that I thought praised something different than who I am from my inner being.

What is important is that I don’t deceive you by telling you that it is easy to move from Deception to Truth. It is not. You will likely experience the loss of those who are not ready to savor your truth just yet, but the trade-off is the commitment to love of self and then the love of others, naysayers and all. There is nothing more freeing than being who you are from your most soulful self; the trade-off, although difficult, is worth the freedom you receive. It is when you share your true self with others that you will experience the gratitude that becomes your aura and inspires others to want what you have. Your story will roll off your tongue with ease because you arrive at accepting yourself with all your imperfections within its narration. It is within this that you effortlessly choose to leave your deception behind and wholeheartedly listen to the stories of others with nothing but compassion and love.

Recognizing that universal truth can be comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time and that both are necessary in order to really embrace your authentic self, will provide the contentment that comes from being fully grateful. I now understand that with every wonderful occurrence, there exists a dual nasty force that keeps me mindful of the balance of good and bad I am granted. It is within these epiphanies that I develop a deep awareness and reach yet another degree of clarity that provides me with the wisdom I need to see and continue to live my truth. This is what authenticity is made of; that expansive awareness of who you are completely void of deception – or at least close to it.

The stories you are about to read will remind you of what reality truly is without the veil of societal positivity expectations that subliminally seduce us both in person and through technology. Although not intentional and likely caused by patterning and programming over time, creating the perception that life should only be a certain way is morally irresponsible and causes great emotional harm to most whose life is far from rosy, including our own. The storytellers in this book made a decision to move beyond who they were and what was created for them, beyond what something or someone else decided they would be. They discovered what they really believed and felt and chose to leave deception behind while welcoming in their truth. Should they have chosen to continue being victims of their trauma, they would have remained within the depth of the deception created so long ago. They are warriors of authenticity; they are telling their stories and they want to listen to yours believing we are all worthy of moving from Deception to Truth.

I encourage you to be Daring to be Heard and Daring to Listen, to make space in your life to have an in-person conversation with someone, anyone. I urge you to share your story with others, to bravely face any fear of losing something or someone while doing so because what is lost will be what you are meant to let go of. Take the time to listen to someone else’s story. If you feel uncomfortable about a perception you have about someone, take a breath, grab some compassion and give them the space to share their story and listen intently; your initial interpretation may be missing some pieces and, as a result, may not be their or your reality. It is time for us to move away from deception and choose to move towards our truth; it is our right and obligation as human beings living on this earth to be Daring to Share.

Diana Reyers, Founder of Daring to Share

DECEPTION TO TRUTH

INTRODUCING KELLY SWEET

By Diana Reyers

Kelly Sweet is that person who makes all her decisions from a place deep within her heart…..always. Four years ago I asked Kelly if she wanted to share a story in the first Daring to Share book. She did! Then she didn’t. She wanted to , but she waivered. And, there was a very good reason; she just wasn’t ready. It is very clear to both of us now why the time wasn’t right because back then, the ending to this particular story hadn’t played out yet.

I’m thrilled that Kelly waited several years to share her journey with her boy. It is one that will pull on your heartstrings while you simultaneously cheer her on. I was in tears when I read the first draft because I couldn’t imagine going through the challenges she did while advocating for her child. I felt blessed that I hadn’t but saddened that she had.

Kelly is a warrior mom. And rightfully so given what she faced and who she was fighting for. But, even more incredible is how she never gave up and became a Warrior of Love. When you meet Kelly, you become absorbed in her calm and loving way of showing up. She consciously creates balance within her state of being by mindfully recalibrating when things don’t quite feel right. This lady will not compromise her integrity when it comes to supporting herself, as well as, her family to live beyond just emotional survival.

You are about to experience Kelly’s Story of moving from Deception to Truth and how she discovered the feeling of Love

Deception to Truth

LOVE

By Kelly Sweet

Kelly’s Story

There I was, a snotty heap on the hallway floor outside my boy’s bedroom door after another failed attempt to discipline him into compliance. I was completely and utterly exhausted and out of ideas. I wondered why he couldn’t be like the other kids and why we had to fight about everything all of the time. Holy hell, why did this have to be so damn hard? Why?

I was exhausted from what seemed like nonstop fighting, not only with my boy but with my man as well. I felt like I was fighting so many things and I simply didn’t have the capacity to hold a thought for more than a few seconds. I was tapped out.

Thinking back, all I remember about that moment in the hallway was my little voice beginning to speak the words, I want peace. At that moment, I wanted peace so badly that I was willing to drop everything I was fighting so hard against. I no longer cared about being right or that Daniel be compliant to my parental demands. Screw the countless meetings with teachers and what they thought I should do with my boy. Screw everything and everybody who thought they knew better about how I should be handling him. I was too tired to care anymore. It was very clear that my way of handling things wasn’t working and I yearned for peace.

Somewhere within all of that, I consciously chose to accept my boy unconditionally for exactly who he is. It was in that moment of experiencing true unconditional love when I received the first taste of the peace I was longing for. I distinctly remember feeling my energy shift when I chose love over the need to be in control. Simply by declaring my desire for peace, I actually felt more peaceful. That’s around the time when my journey went from being outward to being inward.

That day while sitting on the floor in the hallway, my sweet boy was on the other side of the door tucked away in a dark corner of his closet trying to calm his precious self down. When I went in and found him, I pulled him into my arms and through my tears told him how sorry I was to cause him so much pain and sadness. I promised I would try harder to be a better mom. I felt like a huge asshole for listening to people’s advice about how I should discipline him out of it. I wondered, Where was my voice?

It’s hard to explain but in a short space of time after deciding to choose peace I started getting clear hits of intuition. I remember thinking, This little boy needs me, he truly needs me. The gravity of that deep knowing really fell into place for me. It was no longer about managing him. Unbeknownst to me, I had just shifted from operating from my head to my heart. It became a deep soulful knowing and the gravity of it impacted me greatly. This was bigger than just misbehavior.

It suddenly became clear that Dan’s road was going to be a bumpy one and it was time for me to get my shit together. If I was going to help him navigate his path and not make it all about me, I needed to be the best version of myself. What? Who said that? I didn’t recognize this Kelly; this was not a familiar way for me to think. This gal was not in the habit of being this self-aware.

My new-found convictions carried momentum long enough for me to find my way to some self-help books. My girlfriend gifted me a copy of Wayne Dyer’s Your Erroneous Zones and I became hooked on his teachings straight away. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to grasp these new concepts he presented. Not only did I understand them, but I put them into practice immediately. I easily related what he said to my own life and for the first time, I saw my misguided thinking. I was fascinated by what I was learning. Shortly after this, I looked at myself and asked, Who the hell are you anyway? And then, for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to know. It turns out I had a voracious curiosity to answer this question.

Dan is my second child but also one of three. He has an older sister, Jenna and a second older stepsister, Krissy. Daniel came into this world in a great hurry. I barely had time to reach the hospital bed before he made his appearance in two excruciating pushes! My boy arrived so quickly that he didn’t have the opportunity for the natural contractions to clear his lungs of fluid, So when he arrived, he didn’t take his first breath for two to three minutes. It was a frantic scene for several minutes but thankfully he found his way.

Months before Dan was born, we