A Journey of Hope to Heaven and Back

By Jeanne Enstad

This story is about a stubborn, German workaholic farm girl who qualified for the marathon, but instead conquered the fight of her life through 30 years of surgeries, illnesses, severe pain, job loss, loneliness, financial loss, and divorce, but kept her focus on one thing, her faith through the strength and love of Jesus, and becoming an Overco

• Language: English
• Publisher: Parchment Global Publishing
• Release date: Sep 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781950981533

Book preview

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Copyright © 2021 by Jeanne Enstad.

ISBN: 978-1-950981-52-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-950981-51-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-950981-53-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020915884

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

Tv and Radio Interviews

Global TV Interview in Atlanta Studio at Preach the Word Worldwide Network TV, Books of the Month Show

National Radio Broadcast Interview with Ric Bratton, This week in America:

Global TV Interview live in Atlanta Studio at Preach the Word Worldwide Network TV, CEO Dr. Marilyn Todman

Endorsements

Special guest Jeanne Enstad, shares how she went to Heaven twice, walks in the grace of God with miracle healing and testimony through 28 years of surgeries, illnesses, job loss, divorce, loneliness and $290,000 in medical bills. Because of this amazing story she is a sought-out woman of God. This book reads like a movie.

Dr. Marilyn Todman, CEO of Preach the Word Worldwide Network

What an inspirational testimony of such an amazing story. Author’s faith brings hope amidst trials and tribulations. It’s been life changing for so many people who have read it. It’s a must read, fascinating book. What an honor to interview such a great woman of God and her message to all of us.

This Week in America Radio Broadcast with Mr. Ric Bratton

I had the pleasure of interviewing Jeanne on my podcast and her story absolutely blew me away. She is one of the kindest, most down-to-earth people I’ve ever spoken to, and this book is no different. It goes in-depth about everything -- the brutal pain, the internal conflicts, her two visits to Heaven -- and how she fought through it all. Jeanne’s story will completely transform your views of struggle, hope, and perseverance. One of the most eye-opening stories I’ve had the pleasure of reading!

Tyler O’Shea, Founder of JokerMag.com,

The Home of The Underdog

This book is written with honesty and sincerity to describe the author’s survival of terribly difficult circumstances. Trials and tribulations will come to all of us. Jeanne shares her story of a trusting faith in God to light the way for the rest of us. All this is done with a lighthearted touch of her thoughts and experiences. This book will change lives.

Says Amazon reviewer John C. Swartz

I met Jeanne at the Miami Book Fair signing books. I was amazed when she handed me a book and said that I didn’t have to pay for it. She said that she only wanted people to learn about her encounters with God and her journey of hope to Heaven and back. Her book is a masterpiece. Her story is well written and amazing. She is a walking miracle and her faith in God is strong and powerful. I highly recommend this book to all.

Amazon reviewer Brenda Mohammed, Award winning,

best-selling, multi-genre author of 21 books.

Founder of How to Write for Success

Contents

Tv and Radio Interviews

Endorsements

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1  Divine Purpose

Chapter 2  In the Beginning

Chapter 3  Strength

Chapter 4  The Simple Life

Chapter 5  Going to the Operating Room

Chapter 6  Heaven, Our Home

Chapter 7  Going Home

Chapter 8  In the Storm

Chapter 9  Against All Odds

Chapter 10  Peace

Chapter 11  Live by Faith

Chapter 12  All We Need Is Love

Chapter 13  Trusting God in All Things

Chapter 14  New Beginnings

Chapter 15  Journey to Heaven

Chapter 16  The Ultimate Sacrifice

Chapter 17  Knowing God’s Voice

Chapter 18  The New Normal

Chapter 19  My Walk with Christ

Chapter 20  Choosing Hope in the Midst of Pain

Chapter 21  Christ in Me

Chapter 22  Help Me, Lord

Chapter 23  Our Master Calls

Chapter 24  God’s Plan

Chapter 25  Triumph through Failure

Chapter 26  My Time in the Cave

Chapter 27  Encour age One Another

Chapter 28  God’s School of Learning

Chapter 29  Surrender

Chapter 30  Divine Appointments

Chapter 31  Power of Prayer

Chapter 32  Fellowship

Chapter 33  Loneliness

Chapter 34  Sharing God’s Love with Others

Chapter 35  My Darkest Hours

Chapter 36  Forgiveness

Chapter 37  Faithful ‘till the End

Chapter 38  A Season and a Reason

Chapter 39  Love in Action

Chapter 40  Refined by Fire

Chapter 41  Adversity

Chapter 42  God, Our Only Answer

Chapter 43  God’s Blessings

Chapter 44  Understanding God’s Perspective

Chapter 45  The Hope I Live For

Chapter 46  Standing on God’s Word

Chapter 47  God Is Love

Chapter 48  The Joy of My Journey

Chapter 49  Do Not Fear

Chapter 50  The Thorn

Chapter 51  Lockdown

Chapter 52  Saying Goodbye

Chapter 53  Tomorrow

Conclusion

About the Author

Preface

My trials are similar as yours, maybe a few more, and my goal is to guide other’s in discovering their God given gifts to living in complete joy with purpose, perseverance and faith. Seeing beyond our circumstances, is faith in action, and knowing the other side of this is well worth the fight. Our circumstances don’t need to define who we are.

How does a person continue to be joyful in the midst of such trials as, numerous open-heart surgeries, cancer, strokes, Lyme Disease, vascular disease, a head-on collision with an 18-wheeler, always in the operating room, in fighting off the demons of depression with 24 hours of pain and just trying to survive to heal?  Come along with me on my journey of hope to Heaven and back, through my moments of joy, laughter and tears to learn how to conquer Satan over worldly desires.

The Hope and Faith of knowing that this life here on Earth is for only a short time because the best is yet to come. We have a future Eternal Home living with Jesus which is beyond our understanding and our reward for our work done here. Through my experiences of visiting Heaven not just once but twice allows me to describe as best I can of how amazing our Eternal destination is. All of us has an appointment with Death, we will keep. Will it be Heaven or Hell, you choose!

I dedicate this book first and foremost to Jesus Christ, for He is my author. I am His letter, His servant, following His calling. Without Him, this book would not be possible. I also dedicate this book to my three children, Brad, Doug, and Sarah. No child should ever have to endure in a parent’s health what my three have experienced. They are the greatest blessings I’ve been given. To the three of you, thank you for all you’ve done and for being by my side. I love you.

This book is in memory of my mom, Garnet Hammersmith. Her encouragement while she was still here on Earth is what kept me going. She would proof much of my work, and with a smile of her approval I knew I could continue on to the next chapter. Her last words to me while awaiting her final curtain call were Jeanne, finish our book for me. As you well know, Mom, while you are watching now from above, our book is finally finished, and it is in honor of you.

I love you and look forward to seeing you again, mom.

I want to thank my family and friends for their support and encouragement not only during the writing process but the endurance of 28 years of suffering. Also I want to thank all the doctors, nurses, CEO’s of many hospitals and the various staff members for taking care of me including their spiritual support.

I especially want to thank Dr. George, Dr. Bauer, Dr. Baxter and Dr. Steele for all the years of putting up with me.

A special thank you to Dr. Dennis E. Hensley for the tough job of editing my manuscript the first go around. Doc, you are my hero, a great Christian man of God, and excellent author. Thank you for your patience and endurance with me. We both know the many hours of hard work resulting in more red marks than black print. A special thank you to everyone at Parchment Global Publishing, for your advice, encouragement and faith that kept me going, especially Peter Lopez and Jennifer Kasper.

God’s blessed me in every way possible. Thank you, Jesus!

Introduction

I do not claim to be a writer, but our Almighty God is.

This is my story, inspired by the Lord. I’m just His servant, an instrument whom He chose to relay His message through my trials. Matthew 10:20 says, For it will not be you speaking, but the spirit of your Father speaking through you. God is the only reason I am still alive and able to tell you my story. My experiences are not about my strength, but His. On my own, I am just in chaos. Jesus said, I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).

We need to realize that our presence in this world counts. The work we do here on earth is for the purposes of Heaven. Where you’ve been is not as important as where you’re going.

When we readjust our focus so that our decisions align with God’s plans, we discover a joy filled, amazing life always excited and anxious knowing God’s always up to something good!

Many times I wanted to give up, but God would not let me. Over the last twenty-eight years of my life, I have endured four open- heart surgeries, numerous other surgeries, cancer, strokes, vascular disease, broken relationships, and job losses. I’ve had three to five surgeries a year since 1991. I’ve experienced Heaven twice; the first time was at age thirty-seven during my first open-heart surgery, and the second time was when I had a head-on collision with a semi- truck. There’s no medical reason for me to be alive. Having seen a glimpse of Heaven, I know how wonderful our future can be. I want you to know how peaceful, loving, and beautiful Heaven really is and to experience God’s love with me. This is the hope I live for until the Lord’s return—or my return to Him.

Chapter 1

Divine Purpose

I am simply a sinner, saved by God’s grace and redeeming love, who has gone through extraordinary circumstances and experiences. One day I gave my life to the Lord, and He changed my life forever. Through Him, I am a calm person in the face of chaos. It is my hope that my story inspires you to live each day knowing there is a God who loves you! I surrender every part of myself to Him, while He gradually transforms me through all my sufferings. The good news is that no matter who we are or what journey we are living, God offers this wonderful life-changing opportunity to all of us. We need to surrender our will to His. Put God first in your life, and He will take you places you never thought possible. Life is our classroom with many lessons to learn. All of us are works in progress.

People can change with determination and hard work which is worth it in the end. Major changes to my attitude were required. Suffering and many trials were my companions with no one to turn to but God. Whether I faced the physical pain of screaming through the day or the emotional pain of loneliness, God guided me with strength to endure. You will see that when I decided to do things without Him, I was in my human mode. However, when I decided to go to Him first, in my God mode, the process and results were much better. It’s our human mode that we need to stay away from. Proverbs 16:9 says, In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. God’s plans for us are for our good. He gives us hope because of His great love for us. Jeremiah 29:11 says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord’s plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ God created us for His glory, and life is all about Him, not us.

I have spent too much time in my past wishing life was different or better instead of moving forward. All of that wishing claimed so much of my energy and time that I had nothing left to work toward my future. Stop spending your precious time in the past, and live in the precious moments of each day. Move forward and plan for your future. Philippians 3:13 says, Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. Today is a gift. Live it. See God’s purpose in your pain and His presence in the problems. Isaiah 41:10 says, So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.

Whenever you face any challenge, just say, Through Christ I can do this. I can do all things through Him to enjoy the best life He has for me.

This book has for many years been a clearly defined goal of God’s purpose for my life. We all know the devil loves to put doubt in our minds, and I am no exception. Satan constantly whispers, You’re not a writer; you’re a no-body in this world! When Satan’s suggestions flood my mind, God faithfully reminds me of the truth about the ordinary people in the Bible who did extraordinary things through Him: With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). My story is unique not because of my circumstances but because of my choices in my circumstances. The hope I have in God is because Jesus is in me and my experiences of Heaven.

Each of us has their own unique story. What is your story? John 15:16 says, You did not choose me but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. I wake up each morning thanking Him for the gift of today, even when all my mornings are painful. God has a purpose and a reason for me still being here, just as He does for you. God already knows what He has in store for me today. I live for His glory.

Your circumstances are different than mine, but your purpose is the same! Give God glory.

God has blessed me in many other ways, such as my finances. I’ve been single for almost three decades, and in those years I have paid over $280,000 (out-of-pocket) in medical bills. Every year, I paid at least $11,000 out of pocket. With my income and other expenses, that would be impossible, but with God, all things are possible. Everything I own belongs to Him. Each month I put aside money for contributions and then pay my bills. Looking over my bills, I wonder how I will manage to pay them. I’ve never been late on a bill or referred to a collection agency. Truly, God takes care of our needs.

I am a tough learner, always thinking I can handle things myself. After all, why would I bother God with this or that little problem? Well, guess what? My little problems usually turned into one huge problem. If I would have just surrendered them to God first, I would not have gone through so much stress and heartache. Trials are circumstances for us to apply what Scripture tells us, to practice our faith daily. If we don’t learn the lesson the first time, we’ll be taking the test over and over again until we do.

I’ve learn that thanking God during my trials is difficult but the right thing to do. It’s a true test of our faith. After all, it’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. No matter how bad things are, we have many things to be grateful for. Look at what’s good in your life, and thank God for it. Whatever I suffer, God’s always with me and will see me through.

Jesus was tempted by the devil just as we are. He responded to Satan with Scripture. Jesus never sinned, but because He loved us so much, He chose to suffer and die on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins.

God has never once abandoned me even though there were times I abandoned Him. Do not be like me. Go directly into your God mode, not your human mode. Life is much easier when we’re in His will. Whether I was going through big or small problems, when I turned to God, He provided everything I needed. God knew from the very beginning I would be a tough cookie to crack, so He sent me back to Heaven a second time. He already knew I would endure years of pain and that by experiencing Heaven I would learn to focus on what’s really important in life. My journey has not been easy, but I know my purpose and reason for living: He is my reason. My life is a witness of God’s great love for us.

Reading the Bible and meditating on His Word gradually changed me. I read the Bible from front to back twice, but it never had much meaning or impact until I went to God. One day after reading the Bible, I sat back to relax, closed my eyes, and asked the Holy Spirit of God to explain what I’d just read and how that Scripture applied to my life. Meditating on God’s Word helps me understand it. The more I understand His Word, the more I understand my purpose here and how I am to live out my life. He takes us where we are and guides us to where we need to be.

Life makes sense now. Jesus is my best friend and brings real joy to my life. He forgives and loves me unconditionally. It’s my greatest privilege to know Him. Anyone can be blessed with this special privilege if they will take the opportunity to know Him and ask Him to come into their life. John 3:16 says, For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Every day, I work at being more like Him.

Chapter 2

In the Beginning

I (Genesis 1:1). As you continue to read the book of Genesis in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, you will see it has many beginnings. The beginning I want to talk about is the beginning of man and woman—you and me. Some of us have great beginnings, and others have not-so-great beginnings. No matter what our beginnings are, we each have the same Creator. God made each of us for His glory. Before we were born, God knew us and the plan He had in mind for each of us. For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). Verse 16 goes on to say, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. He’s our Creator, the author of life from beginning to end.

It is that middle part of our journey—our ordained days from birth to death—that makes us who we are. How we deal with our circumstances, the choices we make, is what builds our character. Each of us has been blessed with our own unique, God-given talents and abilities. Our journey depends on how and if we use those gifts. He knows everything about us, including the number of hairs on our heads and the life we will go through: Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered (Luke 12:7).

My beginning starts on Friday, March 30, 1956, at 4:15 p.m. at Bellevue Hospital in Bellevue, Ohio, with Clarence and Garnet Hammersmith. My parents were farmers. They brought me home and introduced me to my two older sisters, Diane and Kathy. Five years later, God blessed us with my brother, Bob. Five more years passed and God blessed our family with my brother, Steve. Yep, you got it. I have two older sisters and two younger brothers, which puts me as the middle child. That’s the way God planned it. He knew I would be the third of three girls and be a tomboy! My ancestors were German and very hard workers. Bellevue, Ohio, is small-town America, where families raise their children up to work hard, be honest, and value integrity. We never locked our doors. Strangers were always welcome in our home and considered friends we just hadn’t met yet. We butchered our own meat, milked cows for our usage, tended a garden for our fruits and vegetables, raised chickens for eggs, and made our own butter. I would love to go back and relive just some of those moments.

Growing up on our small dairy and grain farm in north western Ohio, our days usually started at 4 a.m. milking cows. The family farm was originally owned by my great grandfather, then my grandfather, and later sold to my dad. My grandmother lived on the farm right next door; she and my grandfather were childhood, lifelong friends who grew up and married each other!

They grew up with work horses. They walked along a wagon pulled by two horses, separated the corn from the husk, threw it in the wagon, then took it to the corn crib to dry. Some of the corn was sold and the rest used to feed the animals. The cobs were used to fire up the stove to heat their house. They used horses to plant corn, soybeans, and wheat as well. This is where my grandpa got the idea that horses are useless if they’re not working in the fields.

Grandma sold eggs that bought groceries and spending money for miscellaneous things, while the milk and crops paid for the rest of the bills. Grandma would trade thirty dozen eggs for groceries at a market in Sandusky, where they would go shopping every Saturday.

There were two big days out of the year that all the farm kids took off from school: butchering and harvesting days. All the neighbors and children got together to butcher pigs, steers, and chickens. Once the animals were killed, they would hang the meat in the old garage.

After the beef was hung a few weeks, they took it to the summer kitchen to be cut into various parts, such as hamburger and steak. Then they’d wrap each piece, marking the type of meat on its package. Some went to their freezer, and the rest went to town for storing in a locker.

Mom grew up very similar, except she lived in southern Ohio. She grew up with eleven siblings during tough times. Her dad owned a saw mill, which kept him from home most of the time. Because my mom was one of the youngest, some of her siblings had already left home and had their own lives by the time she was in grade school.

Her family worked very hard, raising turkeys and chickens, milking cows, gardening, and taking care of the work horses. She walked to school every day, one mile each way. Her family went to church every Sunday. She took the horses to the creek each day for water. She earned money babysitting so she could go to the five-and-ten store for candy.

At the age of fifteen, my mom had to make the tough decision to leave her parents and siblings to move four hours away if she wanted to finish school beyond the eighth grade. She moved in with her older sister and brother in-law, but she still missed her parents and other siblings.

One Saturday she heard a truck come into the drive during the early hours of the morning. She rushed to the window to see that it was her dad sitting on top of a load of wood. She hurriedly got dressed and ran out the door arms wide open to hug him.

She got very homesick for her family over the next few years. But little did she know that visit with her father would be her last. He passed away from a heart attack not long after. She graduated from high school and went right to work. That’s where she met my dad.

I learned to be strong through difficult times. Strength through Christ carried my grandparents, parents, me, and now my three children through life. I love you, O Lord, my strength (Psalm 18:1). Regardless of my circumstances, I am renewed each day by the strength of Christ through the Holy Spirit; Christ is in me.

My grandparents and parents were morning people because of the required chores. Farming is especially hard work, milking cows by hand so early in the morning. There was always something that needed attending. When I was a young girl, pulling weeds and picking up rocks in the fields were daily chores, and pitching a lot of manure by hand was certainly not one of my favorite jobs to do! When I grew a little older as a young teenager, raking and baling hay in ninety-degree heat was routine, and lifting heavy equipment to do a job, as much as any man, was normal. And, oh yes, from the age of five, I did love driving my grandpa’s 1948 Ford tractor!

After chores, I loved going to my grandparents’ house to sit on their antique hall tree chair in their entryway. It was passed down through the generations, and someday I hoped it would be mine. That special hall tree made me feel like a little princess sitting on my own special throne in the mornings while waiting for one of Grandma’s delicious breakfasts. My grandma was the best cook in the world! It was always worth getting up at 4 a.m. to help Dad and then experience her cooking. The aroma traveling all the way to the barn of fresh- brewed coffee and the smells of bacon, eggs, and homemade pecan rolls every morning was heavenly. We always ate breakfast in their sun kitchen, a little room off the kitchen. Grandpa had a habit of cooling his coffee by pouring it in his saucer, then sipping it from the saucer. Grandma would say to him, You ol’ fool, what kind of manners is she learning from you? It was fun to watch them. We collected eggs from the chicken coop, then washed and weighed all the eggs before putting them in crates each morning for the egg truck to pick them up. Soon after the egg truck left, another truck would come by to pick up milk from the cooler in the milk house. Sometimes, when the milk truck arrived, I ran as fast as I could to the cooler to hide the hose the milk man used to transfer milk from the cooler. He always knew it was me. He was a good guy.

My dad was a comical guy who liked singing to the cows. While he was milking cows, he would squirt milk at all the kittens in the barn, as well as me! Dad was fun to be around. I loved the container on top of the milk cooler where my dad kept Nestlé chocolate. Family and friends were welcome to go into the cooler of the milk house and mix up some fresh, cold chocolate milk.

Grandma was the one who taught me how to cook and bake. She taught me her secret pie crust recipe using oil instead of water to mix the other ingredients. When my sisters and I stayed overnight, my grandpa would come by to say goodnight in his pajamas, wearing his long stocking cap. We thought it was funny, but as we got older we realized how awesome it was. We made some wonderful family memories growing up on the farm. As my grandparents got older, they moved off the farm to town, in a house owned by my great- grandparents. That left their farmhouse available, so my family moved in, as that was tradition in those days.

We didn’t have much money, but everyone received one pair of shoes each year when school started. New clothes were not a priority to me, but to my sisters, well, that was a different story. They loved to dress up. I thought they were crazy! We girls shared our clothes when we were young because we were about the same size, except for one minor problem. My oldest sister was much shorter than me. I had to lengthen everything to wear it, while she had to shorten our clothes.

My sisters’ chores included helping clean house and make meals. I didn’t like doing household chores. I loved the outside, working with Dad and Grandpa. My mom would say, Jeanne, you are going to be one of the worst housekeepers around, but I didn’t care. I did have to help with the dishes and do some cooking—not my favorite chores to do!

You could find me most days out in the fields picking up rocks, pulling weeds, or baling hay or straw. I was a healthy girl growing up, with the exception of having rheumatic fever at the age of twelve. I learned to be a true workaholic at an early age. In the summer, if we were not baling hay, I would paint barns—big forty-five–foot barns. I did fall off the ladder a few times and once fell down a sixty-foot elevator grain leg and survived!

I could be stubborn when it came to Dad hiring anyone else to help on the farm. One time, during baling season, Dad hired some high- school boys to help unload bales from the wagon to put in the loft of the barn. Believe me when I say that I was not a happy camper. After all, he and I did just fine by ourselves. To prove to him we didn’t need any help, I bet the boys he hired I could out work all of them put together. They put the bales of hay on an auger that transported the bales up, and I stacked them in the loft by myself. All four of them were giving it their all until my dad showed up. They were laughing and enjoying the whole scene until my dad said, What in the world is going on here?

I said, Dad, don’t be mad at them. It was my idea. There was no time for explanations; the boys were long gone running down the road before Dad could even turn around and fire them! Needless to say, my dad was not pleased with me, either. For the rest of the season, I had to unload the wagon and stack them in the loft myself. Lesson learned.

Animals were part of our farm experience, and sometimes they felt like family. I had a riding horse growing up, which Dad called the old plug. One evening our sows were having baby pigs. The mother could not handle nine baby piglets. Knowing the runts would eventually die, I took each one and put them in a box. With a total of eight tiny piglets, I decided to raise them in my bedroom, which I shared with both my sisters. One day, while I was in school, my mom came upstairs and found them. When I got off the bus that day, I ran to my bedroom to find that they were gone. My mom screamed, Jeanne, where did these baby pigs come from? Get them out of here right now! I couldn’t figure why she yelled at me first and not my sisters. Obviously, she did not approve of my new roommates, so I took them back to the barn to raise.

The pigs grew to full size, and one day my dad said, Jeanne, it’s time to take your pigs to a new home. Of course I believed him! After all, my dad was always right. So, after loading all eight of my pigs in the truck and making sure they were secure, away we went to Routh’s House. While dad was in the office waiting for the check, I ventured around the building to check things out. When I found out they were butchering pigs, I ran quickly back to the office to tell Dad that we needed to load my pigs back up. Dad, this is not a home for my pigs. They lied to you. They kill them here. As we drove out, I noticed the sign said, Routh’s Packing House. Needless to say, we left with only a check, not my friends. This was my first lesson on butchering. I didn’t like this part of farming. I had to learn the tough way what going to the market meant.

Back to God I went, and this time I was really mad. When we arrived home, my grandparents explained that God made them for food and this was the circle of life. That was a tough lesson for a child of eight. It seems like no matter how old we are, life lessons are always tough until we go to God. As I look back on my life, God was shaping me, molding me for His plan to prepare me for my future.

My family never talked about having a personal relationship with God, but we were brought up to go to church every Sunday. We were told to be honest, to respect our parents and those in authority, and of course, to work hard. Every Sunday was always a day of worship. My grandparents especially had a strong belief of not working on Sundays. After church, we always went to my grandparents’ house for a home-cooked meal and a game of croquet or horseshoes. I was taught how to have fun with the simple things in life and how to manage a budget on a small income. God knew everything I was learning while growing up would help me as an adult.

When my grandparents went to Heaven, I felt lost without them. I still loved the farm, but something changed once they were no longer there. The traditions with them were forever gone.

I grew up in the Lutheran church. Clapping of hands was never done during our praise and worship part of the church service. We did have our rituals and creeds, but they were always sober with a quiet manner. Joyful worship and praising the Lord with great enthusiasm wasn’t on the program. When we went to church, it seemed at times like some sort of duty or obligation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about our Lutheran traditions because every church and religion has its own traditions and way of worshiping God. I’m just saying that I never experienced the Holy Spirit lifting me up with joy and excitement until later in life. In my heart, I knew something was lacking: the feeling of some kind of overwhelming inner joy.

I wanted more than just rules and rituals. I needed a more personal, real relationship with my Lord. I know He’s everywhere and wants us to know Him because He loves us. He’s powerful and all knowing.

I am sure that as you