Swiping Over 40: A Mature Woman's Guide To Online Dating in a Fast Food World: Dating in a Fast Food World

By Kathlyn Heim

Swiping Over 40: A Mature Woman's Guide To Dating In A Fast Food World is a "he said, she said" book that explores the internet dating process step-by-step for mature women who are either actively involved in or considering internet dating. Written by online dating veteran Kathlyn Heim, this guide to online dating at an older age comica

• Language: English
• Publisher: Swiping Over 40
• Release date: Nov 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9781735751610

Book preview

TESTIMONIALS

I am a 69 year old woman and back on the dating scene. Dating sure has changed since I was young. Thank you, thank you, thank you Kathlyn! I would have given up on finding my match without your book, Swiping Over 40. This book has guided me through every dating situation imaginable."

- Pat, 69

I have read more books about finding a man than I choose to admit. The advice provided from both a woman and a man makes this book unique. Kathlyn is open and honest with a great sense of humor that is reflected in her writing. Swiping Over 40 is my go to guide’ for online dating."

- Lisa, 55

Your advice is on point all of the time! I'm a divorced woman who's new to dating, I've learned a lot about mistakes to avoid and signs to look for. You talk about everything from how to create an online profile, when to have sex, and how to recognize an unhealthy man.

- Chelsea, 45

"What can I say. I read your book. I used the advice of you and your ‘man’ friends, and I found my soulmate. Thank you Kathlyn (and friends)!

- Heather, 48

CONTRIBUTORS

I would like to give a special thanks to JR Robertson, and all of my friends, former dates, and ex-boyfriends who have shared their personal dating experiences with me. Without you, and the contribution of your experiences, I would not have written this book. Thank you for your part in making my journey more memorable. I love you all.

And to credit for the creation of the cover of this book, I want to thank to Polina Tankilevitch, who so graciously submits her photography to Pexels for free use by independent creators like me everywhere. See more of her beautiful work at www.ptankilevitch.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1. How To Stand Out In A Profile As Serious Chapter 2. What Pics To Post/Not Post and Send/Not Send (if requested) Chapter 3. His Online Profile - How To Recognize When a Fellow Online Dater Is Not Serious Chapter 4. Who Messages First Chapter 5. Asking For A Phone Number Chapter 6. Who Texts First

Chapter 7. Who Calls First

Chapter 8. When To Meet In-Person Chapter 9. Background Check Chapter 10. How To Approach The First Date Chapter 11. Planning

Chapter 12. Ghosting

Chapter 13. Should We Meet In A Public Place?

Chapter 14. Where To Go

Chapter 15. What to Wear

Chapter 16. Alcohol And Dating Chapter 17. What To Do When He Doesn’t Look Like His Photos Chapter 18. What To Talk About (Not Talk About) Chapter 19. How Long Should A First Date Last?

Chapter 20. How To End A Date Early Chapter 21. Who Pays?

Chapter 22. The First Kiss

Chapter 23. When He Goes Online Right After Your Date Chapter 24. The Second Date Chapter 25. Sex

Chapter 26. Should I Let Him Know Where I Live?

Chapter 28. He Asked You For Money Chapter 29. Social Media

Chapter 30. Get The Junk Out Of Your Trunk Chapter 31. Introducing Your New Beau To Your Children and Family Chapter 32. A Sticky Situation Chapter 33. He Cancelled Our Date Chapter 34. Long-Distance Dating Chapter 35. Sex

Chapter 36. Safety First

Chapter 37. The Serial Dater Chapter 38. The Internet Dating Addict Chapter 39. The Stalker

Chapter 40. The Catfish

Chapter 41. The Married Guy Chapter 42. The Player

Chapter 43. The Narcissist

Chapter 44. The Sociopath

Chapter 45. Man vs. Boy

INTRODUCTION

With nearly 50 million online daters, it is not a surprise that these books have become increasingly popular with both women and men. In the past, we had books such as The Rules and The Rules 2 that provided a set of rules to follow in order to navigate the dating process and finally meet Mr. Right.

Well, folks, it's time to burn those book. The rules have changed. Internet dating has a whole new set of rules.

Swiping Over 40: Dating In A Fast Food World was written for women of all ages who are either actively involved in, or considering dating via the internet.

Dating in the dark ages, as our parents knew it, no longer exists. Gone are the days when two people meet and embark on the relationship journey. Gone are the days when a man asks for a number, calls the woman, plans a date, picks her up at her home, pays for the date, and asks you out for date #2! Gone are the days when two people find each other and commit to dating only each other and see where it leads.

In today's world of online dating, the process may look more like this: you like each other’s profile, send a message via the site, agree to meet in a public place, you go dutch on the check, you go home, and you see he is online now! More than likely, the first date will also be your last date.

With this shift in the dating paradigm comes a whole new set of guidelines, or rules. What exactly are those rules, and how do we learn them? Many books have been written in relation to dating, and even online dating. Although informative, the books were all written for a specific gender, by the same gender.

This book is unique in that it includes new rules from both a woman and a man’s perspective. Although quite humorous and a fun, easy read, Dating In A Fast Food World was written with two main points in mind: safety and finding the perfect match!

Statistics show that greater than 50% of Americans lie on their profile. Over 60% are already either married or involved in a relationship, and 35% have sex on the first meet (80% unprotected). One in ten profiles are fake. One in ten sex offenders are on a dating site, and online predators commit 16,000 abductions, 100 murders, and thousands of rapes a year.

Author Kathlyn Heim is a former Los Angeles Police Officer, Detective, and Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. She brings a plethora of knowledge to her readers designed to keep readers safe while finding true love. Heim addresses topics such as how to recognize a stalker or a predator. She also provides safety advice in areas such as when to let someone know where you live, getting into a car, and date-rape drugs.

The subtitle, Dating In a Fast Food World, comically compares dating via the internet with fast food dining. Fortunately, because there are literally thousands of dating prospects at the click of a button, we have choices. Perhaps too many choices. Like 31 flavors, one can choose mint chip today, bing-cherry tomorrow, and rainbow sherbet the following day.

Unfortunately, with the increasing prevalence of online dating, many have adopted what Heim refers to as the more mentality. When people become dissatisfied with a minute detail they observe in another, they move on. Why? Because they can! Like fast food restaurants, daters want it, and they want it now! If they don’t get instant results, don’t get what they want immediately, or if they lose the taste for what is currently on the table, they move on. There is always more.

This more mentality makes it difficult for those involved to navigate the dating process. How does one even begin to master this foreign process? Questions arise such as, How do I create an online profile that will attract the type of men I am seeking? What should I wear and where should we go on a first date? The list goes on.

Swiping Over 40: Dating In A Fast Food World guides the reader through the internet dating process step-by-step. Heim provides sound advice based on not only years of personal experience, but the experience of others, even the experience of her exes. She shares intimate details of her personal dating successes and failures. Heim provides a woman's perspective of each topic, while her exes provide the perspective from a man's point of view.

The book begins taking the reader through Heim’s personal story, making the decision to embark on the unchartered territory of internet dating.

PRELUDE

It was 2012. My marriage of nearly 17 years had ended. I was sitting alone on the couch in