Set Me Free: Women of Hope Coping with a Pandemic of Despair

By Ph.D. Lilia Salazar

This is a timely book with a timeless message amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Fifteen women shared their stories of fear, grief and helplessness, and how they were set free from their "prison"- this pandemic of despair. Whatever prison you may face, now or in the future, may you find freedom as you relate to these women of faith, courage and hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lilia P Salazar
• Release date: Oct 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781735831602

Book preview

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If each life is a book, then this book is a library featuring God’s story in these women’s lives. Dr. Lil masterfully brought out the richness of each book — how God met these women in their prisons and led them out, toward hope.

Christy E. Jutare

National Director

InterVarsity Christian Fellowship Philippines

Like lustrous pearls displayed against the backdrop of black velvet — such are the stories you will find in this book. God uses the large and small irritants of life to form another layer of Christlike character in us and, as with the COVID-19 pandemic, this can happen against a dark background where He displays His glory in our lives. May you be inspired and encouraged as you read about God’s goodness, faithfulness, and mercy in the lives of His children.

Dr. Reuel Calica

Senior Pastor

Faith Bible Church of Vallejo

Vallejo, California

The COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 is a dark chapter in all of our lives. But we don’t have to stay there because there is hope and a future for those who trust God. The narratives of these women echo this truth as they share their journeys through the COVID-19 season. This book offers a hopeful perspective in the midst of this pandemic.

Margaret Briones Querijero, MD, MSc

Psychiatrist

Hope Mission Health Centre

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Lilia’s writing exudes much-needed hope in today’s rather gloomy and quite desperate climate. This book is a refreshing and uplifting read.

Ramon Rocha III

Director of Publisher Development

Media Associates International (MAI)

I have known Lilia professionally and personally for over 20 years and she has consistently shown herself to be a woman of many talents. Her curiosity and sensitivity drove her professional acumen and success. Her book reflects those same qualities. The stories she tells are insightful, poignant, revelatory, and important. She has revealed the psychological, sociological, emotional, and spiritual impact of the COVID-19 pandemic as seen in the lives of the women in the book. Lilia presents an interesting cross-section of interviewees with compassion, integrity, and inspiration.

Barbara Monnette, MSW, LCSW

Psychotherapist, Private Practice

Retired Clinician, Kaiser Permanente Medical Group

Set Me Free

Women of Hope

Coping with a Pandemic of Despair

Lilia Salazar, Ph.D.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise stated, are from the NIV 2011 version.

Scripture quotations are taken from:

Holy Bible: English Standard Version. ESV®. Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible: New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Holy Bible: New King James Version. NKJV. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible: New Living Translation®. NLT®. Copyright © 1996 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Set Me Free

Women of Hope Coping with a Pandemic of Despair

Copyright © 2020 by LILIA PADILLA SALAZAR

All rights reserved.

eBook ISBN: 978-1-7358316-0-2

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7358316-1-9

Cover design by Danilo Quita

Page design by Aileen D. Barrongo

Photos by Vincent Nigro

Acknowledgments

About 12 years ago, I attended a writing workshop that discussed how to look at one’s life story and reveal God’s glory in it. Although the road toward accomplishing this goal was very challenging, I continued to dream of a time when I would be able to publish a book. But things — family, friends, travel, work, church, ministries — kept me busy. When the COVID-19 lockdown started in March 2020, a path opened up so that I could write this book, my first attempt ever. This was unplanned and unexpected, just like most things during this pandemic. While this work is quite different from the theme of my dream book, the period of reflection I went through gave me the stillness I needed to write a timely book with a timeless message. Our faithful God guided me throughout the whole process and provided the people, time, and wisdom to complete this project.

This book would not have materialized without the support of talented individuals who I am very grateful for.

First of all, I thank the 15 women volunteers from my church, family, and friends groups, who willingly shared their stories of hope in order to inspire others.

My appreciation also goes out to my friends in the writing world who patiently guided me with valuable advice: Ramon Rocha, Nor Gonzales, Nanie Concepcion, Bobbi Monnette, Mary Ann Buggs, Stacy Thurston, and Kathy Guillen.

I am blessed to have worked with competent professionals: my editor Michellan Sarile-Alagao, my typesetter and illustrator, Aileen Barrongo, and my creative artist friend, Dan Quita.

I am also grateful to my husband, Vincent Nigro, who tirelessly listened to me during my highs and lows as I wrote this book.

Finally, all the glory goes to our Lord Jesus Christ. This, my first book, affirms Him as the God of Hope who fills us with joy and peace.

Foreword

Crisis hits people differently. But no matter where they start, women, in particular, are called to cope. How have women survived — and even thrived — during the global pandemic? This is Lilia Salazar’s discovery.

In this book, she has corralled diverse stories from her own wide-ranging personal conversations and friendships. For some women, the crisis has been about love; for others it has been about money or travel, and of course, for many it has been about health. Some agonize, some tremble, some belly-laugh with relief. The dreams, plans, decisive actions, and courageous resets of various women come to life in these stories. Above all, these women vibrate with vitality when they sense that God is with them. Read this book and meet real people who are shining through the dangers of our time.

Miriam Adeney, Ph.D.

Associate Professor of World Christian Studies, Seattle Pacific University

Author, Kingdom Without Borders: The Untold Story of Global Christianity

Introduction

A Sorrowful Storyteller

I cry aloud to the LORD;

I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

I pour out before him my complaint;

before him I tell my trouble.

…

Set me free from my prison…

Psalm 142:1–2, 7a

Trapped. Stuck. Confined. Isolated. It’s almost as if we were put in a prison when we had to undergo community quarantine due to the COVID-19 pandemic this survival year of 2020. Shelter-in-place (or SIP) was ordered in many areas. So we all stayed at home.

Most of us thought that a powerful and rich country like ours would be spared. But this virus is no respecter of people or places. Asia and Europe were affected, followed by North America. Slowly, the virus spread: country by country, state by state in the US, and county by county in my state, California. Fear was contagious as well, spreading from one person to another, from one woman to another woman.

Everything closed down — offices, gyms, and restaurants. Only grocery stores, gas stations, pharmacies, and hospitals remained open. It felt so empty everywhere. The freeways had very few cars, an unlikely scene in our state of 40 million people. Not a lot of people went outside. Only essential jobs and trips were allowed. I was blessed to be able to work from home, as were some friends and family members. But many people were less fortunate and lost their jobs. It got scary. There was a stock market decline, with stocks going down every day. The economy was collapsing. Fear and anxiety could be felt everywhere. Even worse, people kept getting infected and many were dying. The virus had its own mind and traveled fast.

It was during this lockdown that women in my church and other ministry groups started telling me their COVID-19 stories. Most of us knew each other quite well even before we started our support groups. We shared the same beliefs and values. We were (and still are) friends and sisters in the Lord. I also began hearing similar stories from family members and friends from afar. We all felt trapped and scared. But we found hope in God.

Stories of fear, disappointment, anger, loneliness, distress, anxiety — I hear these every day as a people helper. I have been a psychologist for almost 25 years. My reward is the trust given to me by people who are willing to share their life stories and the opportunity to instill hope — and eventually effect change — in my clients. But there was something different about the stories told to me during this time by friends and family. We related to each other on deeper levels. We shared similar fears.

We experienced collective trauma. Trauma is defined as an emotional response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event. In the case of the COVID-19 pandemic, this event affected everyone in many ways: cognitive, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. This pandemic-related trauma is not a one-time event; it is ongoing and will continue even after the virus is controlled.

We all longed for identical things; the things we lost. Our oneness was reinforced, our weaknesses highlighted. Mortality and frailty became more real to us.

The 15 women in this book went through various challenges. Some women talked about their fear and anxiety, like the fearful frontliner or the anxious COVID-19 patient. Others lamented the loss and grief they went through, such as the resentful working wife, the brokenhearted mom, and the lonely grandmother. Some women were moved with compassion but felt helpless while seeing the needs of people around them, such as the anguished educator and the alarmed helper. However, all their stories ended with faith and hope. Although these women openly shared their stories, I have used pseudonyms for confidentiality purposes.

We journeyed together in our COVID Cave. As we