Life Is One Big Circle

By Alren Buhay

I was born in Saudi Arabia and grew up in the Philippines. My family and I came to Canada in 2002. I was living a normal life but it was changed when they diagnosed me with schizophrenia and psychosis back in 2010. Destiny brought me to different paths up and down. Mostly down. Until after I got out the second time from a mental hospital and fro

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alren Buhay
• Release date: Sep 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781777356019

Book preview

1

Cuckoo's Nest BC

People in white are pulling me on a stretcher out of the lobby of a hospital. They have my whole body tightly strapped. I am drowsy, and my head foggy. They put me inside an ambulance. The big paramedic at the back of the ambulance watching me is talking to me, but I could not understand what he was saying. I can sense we are driving away from the hospital. I think they are kidnapping me. I looked through the backdoor window and saw a U-Haul truck behind us that I think my family stole to rescue.

The big paramedic tells the ambulance driver to slow down. I look through the window and see we stopped in front of a big house. I can't understand what's going on. Suddenly I am in a living room where a short Spanish kid and a tall white kid wearing different hospital pajamas than me asking me questions, I could not understand.

A nice lady wearing a dress comes to me with an ID card around her neck. She walks me to a room and writes down my first name on the chalkboard beside the door. I go inside to find a bed, two half cabinets, and a washroom with an angled shaped door.

I thought the room belongs to another person I had to fight. I sat down on the bed and realized the two hospital pajamas pants I'm wearing had been heavily soiled. My head tells me that I will have to run outside naked to survive this place. So, I took off all my clothes and quickly ran out of the room naked with my eyes closed. I was chasing the Spanish kid on the stretcher being move by the paramedics on their way to the exit. I thought that I had become an angel, and no one could see me. Then the guards had grabbed me and walk me back to the room. While on the way, I see a black kid standing outside his room across mine, laughing a lot.

I wake up groggy in the attic. The room had pink and yellow wooden walls and a triangle ceiling on the top. I thought this was a kid's jail. I tried to look at the tinted glass window in the middle of the wall. I start to realize that the MotherNurse in C2 found out that I was not an adult yet and had suffered much. Hence, they move me to another facility and are looking for me because the ambulance took me to a safe house after while sedated, I blurt out to them that I was manhandled a lot in C2.

I did not see anyone I start to think I was in heaven. I pondered if I was really in heaven. I bumped my head a couple of times to the tinted glass window. I thought I would pass through when no one was watching me like an Angel. I keep thinking they were putting me to the test. I then realized I was now inside my dad's head for a lesson, and whatever I do inside would affect his body.

I wonder if people knew where I was. My head is telling me that everyone was looking for me. I bring them to me using my psychic powers through the window. I would pull everyone looking for me with energy from my body, and they were coming in a hurry.

I did not know who brought my food. I look at the mess they thought was for me to eat, and I was crazy about the place. I think the pink ice cream had a fly on top of it, and I felt I was given horse meat. I suddenly throw them on the walls hard.

I woke up in a small cell with concrete walls. Beside me is a metal toilet and a tiny metal sink at the top, one big white camera on top, and a metal door. I am worried. I am drowsy and sleepy. I wonder where I am looking up lying flat on a mattress with the words PICU all over it.

I screamed at the room that I wanted to see my mom and dad. I punch and kick that hard door hard. Different women nurses would come by and check me out. They stand in front of the rectangular see-through thick glass window of the metal door, and I sit by the mattress. I cry hard that I want to see them. My head was wet. I screamed how much I love to see my dad, and I heard a bang on the door a couple of times. I knew it was my dad coming by to see me and ask for forgiveness but was being denied entrance at the door. I am getting crazy and crazier as time goes on. I hear a loud engine that was my dad and uncle J trying to get me out there by running the motorcycle through the wall. I now think I'm actually inside my dad's stomach. Later my head tells me that if I do not press the objects on the ceilings in a correct sequence, my brother would not be born. He will come out of the vent to help me if I hit the sequence. I got a secret message that the people that turned into spirits that night I had the whole earth reset were in another room of the facility using the big white camera as a test for my every movement. They want to dissect how I move. I felt that everybody on earth is now watching me through the camera, like what I do is a movie.

In my mind, my parents were going to separate. I would not be born if I do not press the right sequence on the ceiling, so I jump from on top of the toilet seat and sucker punch that plastic cover on top, and it did not break. That's when NurseCat first showed up by the door to tell me to behave, and I yell that I wanted a lawyer to him, and he left.

I had no clue of the time. I was mad and had a premonition that the other staff from the other facility I created trouble within C2 Emergency will come by at night to finish me. I flush my patient information bracelet down the toilet. I did not sleep they were putting the light directed towards me. I kept losing hope but felt less in danger inside than when I was in C2 Emergency.

I had the delusional that my mom could see what I was going through and that I need to wash my magical eye. I dipped my whole face inside the toilet full of my piss. I did not want to do it. I think that it will cancel the link from the burn. Afterward, I splashed my face with the milk from the tray. I want to hide my connection with my mom. I did not like her to see me struggle. I could hear my yaya's name again and again. The nanny that took care of me when I was a child when my parents work outside the country. I hear that she will take care of me from now on.

I hid under the wool cover and was getting insane. I think with my mind