Viz Magazine

SLEEPWALK ON THE WILD SIDE!

A 52-year-old East Yorkshire man this week told of how his told of how a little-understood medical affliction has RUINED his entire life. Because most nights for the last 17 years, unfortunate REGGIE DOORSTOP of Driffield has gone SLEEPWALKING.

Tragic Reg has lost his home and his marriage, and ended up thousands of pounds out of pocket due to his tendency to get up and wander around during the ‘slow wave’ stage of his sleep cycle. And it’s only the fact that he has never had a job since leaving school that has stopped his chronic affliction costing him his employment too.

“My somnambulism has made my life a living NIGHTMARE,” says Reg, adding: “You should use that as the sub-headline bit for this article. That’s a good line, that is. And put the last word in capitals.”

“Every time I go for a ruddy kip, I know I’ll wake up to find myself doing something immoral, unethical or downright illegal. And it’s through no fault of my own,” tearful Reggie adds, taking a lengthy draught from a medicinal 2 litre bottle of white cider.

“I mean, I’m literally asleep, so how can it be my fault? And put ‘can it’ in italics, so my desperation really comes across on the page.”

Speaking exclusively to , Reggie hopes that by laying bare the true horror of his parasomnia, he will raise awareness not just of this terrible condition, but also of his recently launched GoFundMe page where big-hearted readers can donate money to ease his

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