Delivering Your Future: A Call to Abundant Life in College

By David Morgan

Young adults today feel enormous pressure to get the right grades, participate in the right extracurriculars and gain the right leadership experiences. Simultaneously, they're also pushing for greater independence from their parents and asking bigger questions of the church. College promises answers and fulfillment, but social interactions on ca

• Language: English
• Publisher: Appleton Holdings
• Release date: Sep 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9781735556611

David Morgan

David Morgan is the Phyllis and Richard Duesenberg Professor in Christianity and the Arts, and Professor of Humanities and Art History in Christ College, Valparaiso University. He is author of several books, including Visual Piety (California, 1998) and Protestants and Pictures (1999), and coeditor with Sally M. Promey of The Visual Culture of American Religions (California, 2001).

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Introduction

While efficiency and control are the great aspirations of our society, the loneliness, lack of friendship and intimacy, broken relationships, boredom, feelings of emptiness and depression, and a deep sense of uselessness fill the hearts of millions of people in our success-oriented world.

Henri Nouwen

Long before you ever take a college class, you, like many other American teens, are focused on preparing for college. Teachers and parents seem obsessed with the goal of getting their students into the right schools. Admission to top institutions is fierce: it takes more work and discipline than ever before to be accepted—not to mention a killer cover letter, a couple of glowing recommendations and a dizzying resume of extracurricular activities.

Preparation for college is starting earlier than ever too. If you’re a high school senior, by now you’re probably sick of people asking where you’re planning to go and what your major will be. But even well before senior year, teachers and parents are already talking about college: advising which AP classes to take, which sports will give you the best chance of a scholarship, and the type of GPA you’ll need to be considered at your dream school.

There are countless hours that go into college admission. The mountain of SAT and ACT study guides and endless practice tests you will slowly work your way through. The stomach-churning nerves of test day—knowing your choice of college and potential for scholarships may all come down to a handful of questions. The evenings and weekends spent researching colleges, visiting them, completing applications and writing essays. But then, of course, there’s also the thirteen-plus years of schooling you did to even get to this point. All of it leading to that acceptance letter you’ll get in the mail. The feelings of joy and relief. That thrill of the first day on campus as you move in. All of the sacrifices and all those years of hard work will have finally paid off.

Getting into a school with good brand recognition, setting out on the right career path, making the right connections with those who will open doors, finding and dating that one person who was made for you, participating in campus life and making memories—all of these things and more are what college is all about. The right school and the right academic preparation: these are the only prerequisites necessary for a great time at college and a good life beyond.

Really? When was the last time you stopped to think about all the hopes you have put into college? What about all the unspoken promises that college will makes you happy? Do you really believe the right college can deliver your heart’s desires? How can you have an abundant life in college?

Of course, if you’ve ever attended church—or even Sunday school—you probably already know the answer to this question: college can’t give us the desires of our hearts, because only Jesus can do that. ’However, while we may know deep down that only Jesus satisfies, at the same time our hearts may desperately desire things that are far from Him without even realizing it.

C. S. Lewis illustrates this paradox in his famous series, The Chronicles of Narnia. At the beginning of The Silver Chair, Jill is standing on top of a mountain with the lion, Aslan. Far below is the land of Narnia, where Aslan is sending Jill on an important quest. She is to find the lost son of the King of Narnia and bring him home to his father. Jill accepts the task but asks Aslan how it is to be done. The lion then gives her four signs that will guide her along her journey, as long as she pays close attention. When he’s finished explaining them, he asks Jill to repeat them back. At first, she doesn’t quite remember them, so Aslan has her repeat them over and over and over until finally she remembers them by heart. Then, just before she is about to set out, Aslan gives her one final warning:

Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.1

Although Jill knows every sign by heart, just as Aslan says, when the signs appear before her in Narnia, not only does she have trouble recognizing them, sometimes she misses them altogether. Why is that? As Aslan warned, the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. A strange reality about people is that we can know a truth by heart, yet not recognize it when it’s standing right in front of us. The Pharisees knew by heart every prophecy about the Messiah, yet, when Jesus stood before them in the flesh, they did not recognize Him. This is even more apparent in Luke 7:29–35 just after Jesus encounters John the Baptist’s disciples:

"When they heard [Jesus’ words], all the people—even the tax collectors—agreed that God’s way was right, for they had been baptized by John. But the Pharisees and experts in religious law rejected God’s plan for them, for they had refused John’s baptism.

To what can I compare the people of this generation? Jesus asked. "How can I describe them? They are like children playing a game in the public square. They complain to their friends, ‘We played wedding songs, and you didn’t dance, so we played funeral songs, and you didn’t weep.’

For John the Baptist didn’t spend his time eating bread or drinking wine, and you say, ‘He’s possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’ But wisdom is shown to be right by the lives of those who follow it (nlt).

The leaders of the day rejected John’s non-conventional approach to proclaiming the coming of Christ. You can imagine their thoughts—who is this maverick who lives in the desert and proclaims outrageous and insulting ideas? When Jesus came, He put Himself right in the middle of their culture—reaching those who were ostracized and overlooked. Then the leaders wondered why the son of God would associate himself with these groups instead of their own pious circles.

The end of high school and the beginning of college are often like the high of being on a mountain top. Everything is laid out before you. The air is clean and your mind is clear. College is the quest you’ve been preparing for your whole life. Your parents, pastors, and teachers have taught you all the skills you need for the journey ahead. But the problem is that as you descend from the mountain top, the air will thicken and, if you do not take care, your mind will become confused. That’s because, at college, things will begin to look different than they did at home. Like Jill, the signs you expected to see will not look as you expected them to. This, in short, is the problem of college.

I hope you don’t think I’m being melodramatic or some kind of a college killjoy. I had some amazing experiences in college. It was a time of growth and fun, full of many people and memories that will remain with me the rest of my life. I met my wife in college and learned many of the essential skills necessary for me to run many of the businesses I do today. I owe a lot to my time in college. I also have three boys now, all of whom I hope will one day go to college as well. This book is not about discouraging anyone from attending college, nor is it trying to make you feel less excitement about it. It’s about the unrealistic expectations we place on our time there. Students do it. Parents do it. Even the church sometimes does it. Whether we realize it or not, we are relying on college to make us happy. College is a great time, but if we rely on it to fill a need that only God can fill, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

This book is for young adults on the path to college or at college who might have it all together on the surface, but who secretly wonder what the point is. You know that colleges are selling you a product like anyone else. You’re probably aware of the percentage of students who graduate, begin work, then abandon their profession within a few years. Again, people assume that college will make them happy, but often don’t realize that it has failed to do so until after it’s over. If these sentiments resonate with you, then know that I was one of you as well. If I’m honest with myself, sometimes I still am.

When I headed off to college, I was convinced I had life all figured out. I got into a top-twenty school, developed a system for making straight A’s and did not have a hard time finding dates on the weekends. I believed in God, worked out on a regular basis and generally did what I was supposed to do. My plan was to: (1) stay at the top of my class, (2) get a stellar consulting job, (3) work long hours for the first few years after college, and (4) get into a top-tier business school so I could build my own company and become an entrepreneur. If you had asked me about depression or loneliness or struggling with meaninglessness at eighteen, I would have told you something like those things aren’t real or you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. But then, that was before the bottom fell out of my life during my junior year of college. What happened? What made a young adult who had a lot of momentum stop in his tracks?

My story is not nearly as uncommon as you might think. Studies show that depression, psychological disorders and even suicide rates are all on the rise in American colleges.2 This trend can be seen in other places too. In 2018, the British government created a new ministerial position—equivalent to a presidentially appointed post, like the Secretary of State—to tackle the rising epidemic of depression in the UK. This position was titled the Minister for Loneliness, and immediately many leading news outlets picked up the story with its grim implications for our lives today.3

Feelings of desperation and meaninglessness affect millions of students in thousands of locations across our country and our world—young adults today are feeling more isolated and alone than ever before. Most of us probably don’t need figures from the Minister for Loneliness to tell us that this is true: many of us have seen it firsthand. Here are three recent examples from my own life:

An accomplished business leader, philanthropist, and a good friend told me that his daughter, who had been an honor roll student in high school, was struggling with her transition to college. He and his wife had tried their best to do everything the right way with her, but they couldn’t find a way to the heart of the problem or to offer any real hope and encouragement. Despite getting into her first choice school with a bright future ahead, the daughter was struggling with feelings of inadequacy and depression.

A colleague, a young mom in her early thirties, provided a second example, when she shared how she went through a period in college when she didn’t know which way was up. All the motivation and structure that had propelled her through high school seemed to evaporate after the newness of college wore off.  She struggled to find motivation or to believe that her future would come together in the way she hoped. As she reflected back on that dark period, she described the approach her friends took to try to help her. One friend attempted to help with some quick advice and formulaic solutions. Although she respected this friend, she felt guilty and ashamed after her time with her. It did little to help her find purpose and meaning. Another friend spent long hours with her and got in the trenches with her—patiently listening and being available to hear what was going on inside her head and heart. She laughed casually when she gave these examples, but then turned suddenly serious, her gaze becoming very focused. Looking back, I honestly cannot believe how dark my thoughts got at the time. I don’t know where my life would have been without that friend. Thankfully her friend helped re-orient her, but many college students do not find such a person. They struggle internally, resisting the urge to let others know they don’t have it all together—to let someone into their deepest thoughts and feelings.

Days later, a ministry leader—with twenty years of experience building deep relationships with high school students—shared about how hard it was for him to reach that same level of depth with his own kids. He and his wife had modeled faith their whole lives, but there was just something about spiritual advice coming from parents that made it difficult for their kids to accept anymore.

After hearing these stories, I realized I wasn’t alone in my experience of college as a dark and difficult time. Many people who lead accomplished and purposeful lives after college, good people—even strong Christians—went through periods in their lives, often in college, when they struggled with the same questions. They had to take the time to go through the valley, to search the depths and ask the hard questions, before they could come out on the other side and feel like they were on solid footing.

My hope for you in reading this book is that it will resonate deeply with some of the hopes you have for college as well as your dreams beyond it. College does not have to be a hard time for you, but if you are relying on it to make you happy—to fulfill the desires of your heart—then you are destined for disappointment and difficulty, like I was.

My hope is that my educational and business experience can help you, the Christian leaders of tomorrow, to identify some of the struggles that might be ahead. Whatever type of college institution you aspire to, I’ve probably experienced something similar: rigorous Ivy League / top 20 environments (Dartmouth and Vanderbilt), a Big Ten School (Indiana University), and a conservative Christian environment (Dallas Theological Seminary). God has provided some incredible ministry experiences, as well, from working in human resources with Chuck Swindoll’s ministry (Insight for Living), engaging with Young Life on local and regional boards, being involved with Kanakuk Kamps and leading junior high and high school groups. Vocationally, too, I’ve experienced my share: I was an executive in the tenth largest private homebuilding company, worked as a consultant for a Fortune 100 company and have also started, acquired and grown more than a dozen companies. Through sharing my stories and what God has done in my life, I hope you will be better prepared to face the challenges you will certainly face in your own life, whether in college or in your career.

This book, therefore, has three primary parts. The first is about the common hopes and aspirations students have for college. We will explore areas that, on the surface, might seem like good things but can easily lead to problems or sin, if handled carelessly. Some of the truths we will explore may seem basic to those who have grown up in the church, yet Satan has used the same playbook for generations to pull us off track and separate us from God’s abundant love and mercy. Just because you know the answers, don’t assume these idols and false gods will look like you expect them to at college. The signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there.

In the second part, we will explore grounded principles you can cultivate and actionable strategies to avoid the pitfalls of college. These are hard lessons I learned that I hope will help you avoid some of the same mistakes. The final section of the book pulls all of these principles together in practical tools and strategies to find grounding and purpose as you seek to live abundantly through the college years.

While ultimately we rely on God’s work in our lives, it is also important that you are not naïve about what you’re going to encounter. The challenges are real and the stakes are high, but God promises He will be with you and that He is big enough for any obstacle you may face in high school, college, or beyond. "No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let