Threads of Resilience: How to Have Joy in a Turbulent World

By Charles Chamberlain, Laraine Chamberlain and Jeremy Chamberlain

What if you could be mentally prepared for the next major financial, physical or spiritual difficulty that will strike in your life?

What if teenagers could be emotionally strengthened before the next mass school shooting, terrorist attack or cyber bullying incident?

How would you feel today if you knew you were ready and resilient e

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: May 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9781640859937

Charles Chamberlain

His volatile career in IT sales and business development proved to be a "feast or famine" proposition for Chuck, his wife, and their six children. In addition, he struggled for decades to overcome a childhood history of sexual abuse and bullying. Now, as a healed husband, father, and grandfather, he looks back on a professional and personal life marked by extreme highs and lows; from life as a top 2% wage earner to life as an unemployed, disabled and depressed "victim," and back again. Having survived the kind of pain and suffering felt by so many, he has learned ways to survive and thrive. Now, he is a teacher and lecturer on leadership principles and a certified CJEA (Creative Journal Expressive Arts) practitioner.

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Threads of Resilience

How to Have Joy in a Turbulent World

Charles Chamberlain

Laraine Chamberlain

Jeremy Chamberlain

Threads of Resilience © 2020 A Chamberlain Leadership Group Production.

For more information visit www.chamberlainleadershipgroup.com

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

Published by Author Academy Elite

PO Box 43, Powell, OH 43035

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express written permission from the authors.

Identifiers:

LCCN: 2019916971

ISBN: 978-1-64085-000-2 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-64085-992-0 (hardback)

ISBN: 978-1-64085-993-7 (ebook)

Available in paperback, hardback, e-book, and audiobook

Rope image used on the cover © By Intellectual Reserve, Inc.

All Rights Reserved

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Author Academy Elite, nor does Author Academy Elite vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

www.ThreadsofResilience.com

Acknowledgements

Our deepest appreciation goes to Rozana Kristel Vivas Chamberlain, wife of Jeremy Chamberlain, who has had to put up with we need to work on our book for over three years, including untimely skype calls, weeks of brainstorming and typing, countless conversations, and even international travel.

We also want to thank Jeremy’s siblings, Crystal, Brandi, Tamara, Tiffany, and Charles. Their lives are woven throughout this book and they are true examples of resilience. Each of them has been challenged in unique ways and each has become stronger because of those challenges. We are grateful for their examples.

Contents

INTRODUCTION

Chapter One: The Problem with Happiness

Chapter Two: The ‘Choose Gratitude No Matter What’ Thread

Chapter Three: The ‘Pass it on’ Thread

Chapter Four: The ‘Flow of Abundance’ Thread

Deciding to Trust the Flow

Recognizing Abundance

Trying to Control

Facing the Truth about Abundance

Stepping Out of the Flow by Listening to Others

Flowing with Daily Manna

Chapter Five: The ‘Give Up and Let Go’ Thread

Letting Go of Something Good for Something Better

Letting Go of Something Bad for Something Good

Letting Go of Hurt Through Forgiveness

Letting Go of Control

Chapter Six: The ‘Balance Receiving and Giving’ Thread

Receiving Can Be More Difficult Than Giving

Chapter Seven: The ‘Embrace Uncertainty’ Thread

Chapter Eight: The ‘Beauty of Humor’ Thread

Chapter Nine: The ‘Higher Power’ Thread

Appendix: A Simple CJEA Exercise to Overcome Obstacles

Part 1: Drawing

Part 2: Dialoguing

Part 3: Insights:

Part 4: Meditation

How to Play the Card Game Called 9s

Birth

References

About the Authors

INTRODUCTION

For those who are especially troubled by the uncertain world around them, the authors wrote this book to provide a message of hope. The book is also a guide to modifying behaviors and beliefs in order to thrive by first learning resilience and then finding joy and abundance in a turbulent world.

Charles and Laraine Chamberlain facilitate leadership training, personal growth, and emotional healing workshops internationally. Their son, Jeremy, is a deep-thinking young father who has found ways to strengthen his own mental health. His concerns for his children are typical of parents worldwide. Their conversations in this book about finding consistency in this difficult world highlight the fact that as parents, Charles and Laraine have made many mistakes, but the lessons learned from those mistakes are valuable to others.

As the following conversations unfold, Jeremy realizes the uniqueness of this interaction with his parents. At times in their lives, children often assume their parents know what to do in any situation. Becoming a parent himself, Jeremy now knows just how much parenthood involves constant learning and growing. With this understanding, he was able to talk with his parents on a different level.

In their weeks-long discussion of some disturbing events, they exchange varying perspectives on the same difficult challenges. Jeremy and his parents agree that when people say, "I’m surviving, but just by a thread, or I’m just hanging on by a thread, they are unwittingly uncovering a key to survival during turbulent times. Moreover, by adding even more threads" and being conscious and systematic about using them, it is possible to not only survive, but thrive and have joy in the process.

Join this conversation between a grown son and his parents—an honest dialogue that includes some unanticipated elements; some of which are not easy for them to discuss. As you read, be alert to surprising truths about the threads that mean the difference between mental, emotional, physical, financial or spiritual destruction and thriving with joy in a world filled with violence and upheaval.

Chapter One

The Problem with Happiness

A dust covered, almost ghost-like boy sits quietly in the back of an ambulance, the victim of a destructive airstrike on his Syrian home. He reaches up to touch his bloody forehead, then stares at the red stain on his tiny fingers. The camera catches the shock in his dark, penetrating eyes as they peer through the blood and grime on his face. In Washington DC, protesters turn violent, running through a business district, swinging baseball bats, kicking large windows until they collapse, and throwing rocks and debris at random targets. In Paris, coordinated surprise attacks using bombs and machine guns kill or wound hundreds. In America, frightened school children are herded from their classrooms by police officers as fellow students shoot their way through the hallways. In another school, bullies taunt one student into committing suicide. Videos from Jeremy’s social media feed that day were typically poignant. Victims’ lives are changed forever, based on their choice to simply attend a soccer game, eat at a certain restaurant, stroll the streets, or attend school.

Jeremy put his phone down.

While his wife was getting the little ones ready for bed, he had taken a few moments to scroll through his news feed. With the phone off, the abrupt silence was pierced only by the mental echoing of voices: news stories and live footage from everyday people calmly, but seriously, presenting the troubles of the day. He sat back on the sofa, waiting for the reverberations in his mind to die down. After a long, deep breath, he let the air out slowly. Closing his eyes, he pictured little Juliana and her new brother, Joaquin.

Jeremy was a stay-at-home dad. He loved taking care of the kids while Rozana went off to her job as an engineer for a major airline. His days tending two-and-a-half-year-old Juliana and three-month-old Joaquin were happy, but full of challenges too. In addition to his full-time work as a dad, he occasionally had a few moments to satisfy his entrepreneurial spirit creating passive income with network marketing and researching opportunities in real estate.

Sporadic, childish giggles floated from the bedroom on the other side of the house, bringing a smile to Jeremy’s face. But in the relative quiet of the family room, his thoughts turned again to more serious matters. He looked up to the ceiling, then closed his eyes again as he remembered an odd, random experience. It was when his dad, years before, had told him about how he had joined a search party for a missing girl.

In his mind, he held a quiet conversation with himself:

What was it my dad said? It was something about hoping the girl’s parents could feel joy and abundance. It seemed so incongruent with what a parent would normally feel if their precious child was missing. How could someone feel joyful when their life is falling apart?

Joy? So many in the world are barely in survival mode! How is joy possible? How many people have I heard say, We’re just hanging by a thread? Just this weekend, there were scared schoolchildren who reacted to a recent mass killing at a school by marching in protest, with signs saying, Am I next? What was my dad talking about? Is it really possible to experience joy even while going through ugly things?

Jeremy had been thinking a great deal about ways to live a happy life, and how to teach those ways to his children. What his dad had said a few years before seemed preposterous, especially in light of the most recent violence and dangers. Feeling acute anxiety about his world, his mind wandered back to his own childhood, afraid of the world as he then knew it.

Living in an earthquake zone, his parents decided one evening to teach him and his five siblings what to do if an earthquake should occur. All had gone well until Jeremy, the youngest of six, started to panic. He had suddenly become paralyzed with fear of earthquakes, and no reassurances from mom and dad would help. For a few days, he had been afraid to leave the house and became withdrawn and tearful.

Decades later, he often wondered how he could teach his children resilience; to feel safe, secure, and even joyful during the mental, social, financial, emotional, and violent earthquakes of their time. His mind formed questions that cried out for comforting answers.

The world is changing so fast and there is so much misery! If it is possible to have joy and true abundance during hard times—even scary times, how can I do it, and what can I teach my children about it? Are we resilient enough to recover from these seemingly inevitable problems? The word my dad used—abundance—is so overused as a catch-all term for a dream life, but what is true abundance anyway? Is it the answer?

Jeremy’s mom and dad had just arrived from Beijing, China, taking a break from teaching and lecturing at various schools and organizations there. They planned to stay with Jeremy and Rozana in the Atlanta area for a few weeks before traveling across the country, visiting each of their children and grandchildren. Eventually, they would make their way back to China.

Jeremy had been upstairs preparing the bathroom for his parents’ stay. Seeing that they had found places for their suitcases and were settling into their room, he started back down the stairs just as his dad emerged from the bedroom and followed him to the living room.

Jeremy’s dad, Chuck, was a tall man in his early sixties with a medium build and dark brown eyes. Hi, Jeremy, I think we’ve done enough unpacking for now, he said from behind as both men descended the stairs.

Watching his dad sit slowly on the sofa next to him, Jeremy was reminded of the fact that he had inherited most of his genes from his mother’s side of the family. They were a shorter, fairer-skinned people, with reddish hair and blue or green eyes. Jeremy reached up to his chin to pull on the red hairs of his long beard.

Dad, if you need anything else, let me know. The bathroom towels are there for you and Mom to use.

Chuck gazed around the family room, settling on one corner of the room where paintings and photographs of well-known European landmarks covered the walls nearest to a pool table--mementos of Jeremy’s trips with Rozana, his Venezuelan-born wife. The sofa was part of a cozy configuration of furniture forming a semicircle around the television. Colorful building blocks and toys on the floor were clues that an active toddler ruled that area of the house.

As if on cue, a pajama-clad toddler walked into the room. Juliana looked like a beautiful little Spanish princess with long wavy hair and black buttons for eyes. She entered and sat down on the edge of the sofa, smiling at her grandpa. Rozana walked in behind her, carrying little Joaquin. She handed the baby to his grandpa who immediately started bouncing the boy on his knee. Juliana laughed at her brother as he went up and down. Joaquin was quite simply a cherub with long feathery red hair that looked as if it existed in zero gravity, refusing to settle onto his head.

After a few moments, Jeremy reached out to Joaquin. The boy responded and quickly settled into his arms. With the baby against his chest, Jeremy’s beard blended with the boy’s hair, giving it the look of an odd wig. After a few minutes he said goodnight and sent the kids with Rozana to be tucked into their beds.

Now that the kids are off to bed, maybe I can ask my dad about that experience, years ago, when he had helped find that missing girl.

With one hand stroking his beard, he asked, Dad, remember when you went out looking for that girl a few years back? I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. Can you tell me again how you felt that day?

Thinking deeply, Chuck looked up and said, "There was a fourteen-year-old girl with a 100 percent school attendance record, but one day she failed to show up at school after walking out the door for her routine 10-minute walk to the junior high school. I remember it was quite