LET THE HEALER IN

By Helen Aigbe-Joseph

Let the Healer In looks at the many faces of grief and loss with its challenges and the inevitable seasons of recovery. It looks at God’s comfort in times of despair, depression and hardships and reminds us that we are never alone.  It provides us the hope not just to cope with grief but to overcome grief.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kingdom Publishers
• Release date: Jan 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781913247256

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Let the Healer In

Copyright © Helen Aigbe – Joseph

All rights reserved. No part of this book

may be reproduced in any form by photocopying or

any electronic or mechanical means, including information

storage or retrieve systems, without permission in writing

from boththe copyright owner and the publisher of the book.

The right of Helen Aigbe - Joseph to be identified as

the author of this work has been asserted by her

in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and

Patents Act 1988 and any subsequent amendments thereto.

A catalogue record for this book

is available from the British Library.

All scripture quotations have been taken from the

New King James Version.

(Copyright© 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.)

New International Version®,

(Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society)

and KJV.

ISBN: 978-1-913247-03-4

1st Edition by Kingdom Publishers

Kingdom Publishers

London, UK

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to the many who are expecting the glorious hope of overcoming grief and loss, in particular widows and widowers, in memory of Mr. Price E. Dafiaghor, my loving brother.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I am truly grateful to my husband and friend, Reverend Kingsley Aigbe-Joseph, whose outstanding support is beyond comprehension.

I also thank our daughters—Stephanie, Salome, and Daisy—the Father's priceless gifts to us. Your support and prayers have made this book possible.

Thank you to Rose Efih, my amazing sister whose unconditional love has helped me and continues to do so. To Jummy, my personal intercessor and to Pastor Gideon Reuben and the Britwell Baptist Church for their prayers and support.

Special thanks go to Vanessa, my niece, for her contribution and to our wonderful mother, Mrs. Susannah Dafiaghor for her ceaseless prayers.

I thank Blessing, Nonto, Magnus, and Lynette for showing me firsthand how the Lord transforms His saints from one degree of glory to another.

I also thank Patti and Jackie; mamas close to my heart. I appreciate greatly my publisher, editor, and their staff,

and of course, everyone whose lives have touched me and the ministry to widows and the bereaved.

My heartfelt thanks go to Helga Taylor and to Reverends Janice McVeigh-Flores and Gerry Flores for endorsing this book.

Thank you also to Teresa Davies, my prayer partner, with whom I have shared and grown.

Father, with my every gratitude, I thank You for giving me the privilege of carrying something of Your heart and the honour of sharing it by Your Spirit with Your saints and the many who You will to read this book.

ENDORSEMENT

It was my honour to be asked and has been my privilege to write the Endorsement to this book, a book for our time. It highlights the importance of the ministry to widows possibly forgotten by some Christians and churches, just as it was forgotten in the early Church, as written about in the Book of Acts (see Acts 6:1-6)

This book is innovative and biblically challenging. I particularly admire Helen's depth of scriptural understanding and her application of the Scriptures to the practical ministry and care of widows. It has a deeply empathic approach, incorporating known patterns of grieving, the mourning process, and person-centred pastoral skills. Helen encourages the carer to offer a safe and supportive relationship through good listening skills while recognising the limits of such a role and encouraging appropriate referral if that would be helpful.

There are many valuable, useful and practical suggestions to carers and widows alike. I particularly resonate with her meditative approach and suggestions. The spiritual dimension undergirds every page, while her understanding of how mourning and grieving may affect our prayer life and walk with God, brings the reader a sense of peace.

Helen points the widow towards hope and offers a way through the process of mourning and grief. This book is a modern-day challenge to churches, pastors, and deacons. It begs us to ask ourselves the questions: How are our widows being cared for in our church today, and is the Lord pleased with us?

I commend this book to you.

Helga Talor

ACCREDITED COUNSELLOR, TRAINER, SUPERVISOR AND COUNSELLOR MANAGER UNITED CHURCHES OF HEALING MINISTRIES HUDDERSFIELD, UNITED KINGDOM

I highly recommend this book to you. It is well written and stirs us to not just speak about it, but demonstrate the Love of the Lord and the importance of caring for one another.

A few years ago, both of us suffered great pain, grief and loss when we suddenly and unexpectedly, became widow and widower when our late spouses went home to Glory after unfortunately, both experienced cancer.

However, that was not the end but rather a brand new beginning. God, in His infinite grace and mercy, brought us together, and we fell in love, got married and are about to celebrate our first Wedding Anniversary, this month!

We have just begun to step out in Ministry again, and although it is still the same Vision; that of a '5-fold equipping' Ministry especially focussed on the Apostolic and Prophetic, the Lord gave us a new name and instructed us just to demonstrate His Love to a lost and hurting people!

We re-named our Ministry: XTREME LOVE!

Through our experiences though, the greatest thing we had to endure was loneliness. It was excruciating. However, as we both allowed God to come and gradually heal our hearts, we were able to move on.

God wants to take us beyond the place we find ourselves in and move us on, into His eternal Plans and purposes for our lives, so we can fulfil our ultimate destiny. But we do need to Let go and Let God.

In the words of a Worship song we sing entitled: I Could Sing of Your Love Forever:

Over the mountains and the sea, Your River runs with love for me, And I will open up my heart, and let the Healer set me free.

It's about opening up our broken hearts and letting God heal us. The more we are healed, the more we can release healing to others.

Isaiah 61.v.1-3:

1: The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me, to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.

2: to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

3: and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty, instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair.

This book says it all really.

Rev. Janice McVeigh-Flores and Gerry Flores

XTREME LOVE

Rise up and come

Away Men in Grief

The Broken Hearted

Through the Eyes of a Teenager

Grief and Mourning

Loss of Identity and Grief

Hope and Redemption

A Special Group in the House

It's a Family Affair

The Unsung Army At The City Gate

The Hurting Mother

Shedding the Past

Conclusion

All Bible quotes are from the New King James Bible (©1982 Thomas Nelson) unless otherwise specified

PREFACE

This is a book of hope, consolation, and most of all, overcoming pain, hurt, and bereavement. It looks at the different types of bereavement we face and the changes that come with the transitions from our winter season to our springtime. Also this book covers the varied aspects of loss, and there are a number of chapters dedicated to care and support for the widows in the Body of Christ.

There is a group in the Body of Christ that needs some degree of care and recognition in the church besides the orphans. Whether it is secular counselling, psychotherapy, pastoral counselling, or Christian counselling of any kind for bereavement, separation, or any sort of loss, I believe the group most in need of it is the widows. I hope you agree.

I have carried a burden to plead the cause of widows in the church for almost ten years. As a result, the plea in this book is not aimed at professionals who have learned the art or skills of care, but at individuals, the Church, Christian organisations, and even those outside of church whose desire it is to give comfort through listening, visiting, and practical help to the bereaved and the hurting.

This book is also aimed at anyone dealing with and overcoming depression, grief and loss of identity. It deals with grief and worship, shedding the past, and coming into your new season. It is a book of God's comfort in times of bereavement, family hardship, difficult marriages, divorce, job and loss of income, loss of relationships or friendships, and church splits through betrayal and other loss of any kind.

There is a lost art of care in the Body of Christ as it was practiced in the early church (see Acts 6:1-7) This is one of the three commandments given to the Gentile churches by the apostle James and the elders in Jerusalem.

In this book, there is a brief look at the definition of grief and mourning and the place of mourning. I offer suggested ways the bereaved can overcome bereavement. We shall also look at some suggested ways a family member, a friend, or a neighbour can help the bereaved and ways a local church or Christian organization can provide the much-needed support framework that a widow or a hurting person needs. We avoid blanket service and instead target the individual needs of a widow or the hurting.

This book is a voice-driven vehicle with the aim that it will serve as a tool to re-awaken the Body of Christ to our responsibility first to the silent community—the widows in the Body of Christ—and then beyond. It is also a book that offers support to anybody who is reaching for the glorious hope of overcoming the pain of loss and grief of any kind.

This is by no means a counselling tool, but a book that encourages you to visit the widows and the orphans and anyone who is hurting in their time of affliction, for that is pure religion indeed. (See James 1:27.)

Chapter ONE

Rise Up and Come Away

The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he stands behind our wall; he is looking through the windows, gazing through the lattice. My beloved spoke, and said to me: Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away! (Song of Solomon 2:8-13)

I lay in the hospital bed and a lady leaned over me with a gentle whisper in my ear.

We can't get your baby to breathe, she