Dew of Heaven: A Story of Hope

By Amanda Cox

Dew of Heaven is the story of one woman's journey of seeking answers, only to discover she already had what she was looking for. It is a story of a restless soul, searching for love, purpose and belonging. And it's a story about the journey from a life of striving to

• Language: English
• Publisher: Finding Space
• Release date: Nov 24, 2020
• ISBN: 9780645025019

Amanda Cox

Amanda Cox is the author of The Edge of Belonging and The Secret Keepers of Old Depot Grocery, both of which were the Christy Award Book of the Year in 2021 and 2022, respectively. She holds a bachelor's degree in Bible and theology and a master's degree in professional counseling, but her first love is communicating through story. Her studies and her interactions with hurting families over a decade have allowed her to create multidimensional characters that connect emotionally with readers. She lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee, with her husband and their three children. Learn more at AmandaCoxWrites.com.

Book preview

Preface

‘I RECALL ALL YOU have done’, writes the psalmist in Psalm 77:11 (NLT). He had been lamenting for ten long verses and suddenly there’s a shift with these six words, ‘I recall all you have done.’

For me, Dew of Heaven is a personal remembrance of all that God has done.

The psalmist continues and poetically describes God’s mighty deeds. He concludes with the revelation, ‘Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty water–a pathway no one knew was there!’ (Psalm 77:19 NLT).

The lamenting changed after his moment of remembrance. This shift nurtured thanksgiving. It powerfully redirected his focus from current circumstances and complaints to joy and gratitude.

Woven within my story are old writings, poetic and prophetic descriptions of how God revealed His pathway to me—one I never knew was there—although not for lack of looking. For so many years, I had searched, read books and asked questions. I sought resources, prayed for answers, and cried out for understanding. Why was it that what I believed wasn’t what I was daily experiencing? Why didn’t God’s promises seem tangible to me? Why didn’t this feel like freedom at all? Was Jesus who I thought He was? Did I even believe? Not to mention, how do you love a God you can’t even see?

Ironically, all that I was looking for, I already had. And as it assures me in Psalm 23:1 (NLT), ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.’

I still love reading books, studying resources and talking with people. The difference is that I no longer search for answers there. These stories, the people and the prayers still encourage and inspire me.

Ultimately, that is my heart for this book, that it would extend hope to anyone whose day-to-day experience feels far from God’s promises. May you discover more of Christ within you. Walk the promised path of life that He leads you on. And if you don’t know Jesus, I hope you experience a taste of Who He is within these pages.

Dew of Heaven is a story. A story of how God revealed answers as He showed me the path. And as the path became clearer, so did a moment by moment way of walking upon it—a path for so long, I never knew was there.

‘So take a new grip with your tired hand and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.’ (Hebrews 12:12-13 NLT).

PART 1

‘Your true identity is as a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it and settled in it, you can live in a world that gives you as much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity. Because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is a child of God that you are sent into the world.’

- Henri J. M. Nouwen

WHEN A SOUL SEARCHES to find its identity and purpose, the last thing considered is rest . Throughout our days we want our lives to matter or to find answers to some of life’s biggest questions like, ‘What on earth am I here for?’ This journey is a road well-travelled and promises to be full of adventure, laughter, tears, joy and the unexpected.

I wonder how many people discover the path of faith-rest. A path flowing with life. A wellspring of living luxurious water that quenches even the driest thirst. A truth that feeds the hungriest soul. A path that is solid underfoot, but as soft as feathers to fall upon. A path that produces joy in surprising spaces and comfort in painful places. A path that requires no effort or striving but takes us to an oasis of peace, a quiet brook of bliss. A path which often beckons a stroll rather than a sprint and offers breathtaking landscapes along the way.

Welcome to my story. A story anchored in my soul-search for love, for purpose and for belonging. It has been a lifelong journey so far and will continue to be. However, there are defining moments that stand out above the rest, and I capture these in the pages that follow. It is not chronological, although I know some might find that the easiest way to read it. It is more spontaneous. It isn’t heroic or full of jaw-dropping events. It is a story of how I was searching for what I already had and how I came to understand that.

Chapter 1

Let’s Begin …

‘… He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need.’

- Acts 17:25 (NLT)

THE DEW OF HEAVEN settles on my quiet soul today.

Enjoying a quiet soul. This is radically new.

My quiet soul is a contrast to our home filled with the laughter of children, loud in the chaos of school holidays. The familiar sounds of a friendly game of table tennis, dogs barking at people walking past, the blue wrens twittering and our washing machine in overdrive.

It makes me smile because I’m reminded at 41 that it hasn’t always been this way. My soul has not always been a peaceful landscape that allows the dew of heaven to fall and settle like it does now.

For most of my life, loud chaos not only filled my external environment, but was also a reflection of the deepest parts of my inner being. Locked far below a vibrant personality and under the surface of an often forced smile, there was a storm of pain, anger, anxiety and confusion. I cringe as I remember how often that storm was active and threatened to erupt, and the damaging results of the occasions when it did. Today I exhale, remembering vividly how hard it was to contain. Holding it back was exhausting, like trying to hold in hot lava.

The storm stemmed as far back as I remember. Its biggest eruption was several years ago and was the beginning of the end of living from internal chaos. Since then, I have been learning to live freely and lightly. From a place of peace and rest and enjoying the offering of each simple moment. I know contentment now, even amid busy family life and a never-ending list of to-dos.

During my reflections today, the distant sound of a harvester in the back paddock captures my attention and my heart stirs. Listening, I can hear the gentle hum of the engine. The machinery banging and the pounding of potato flesh. The harvester tips, tumbling freshly dug seasonal potatoes ready for the brief trip to the factory.

These sounds take me back to a whole other time and to a younger me. I loved potato season, especially the rides in trucks to the factory. Potatoes feel as if they are a part of the fabric of our family. My Mum and my Aunt worked tirelessly on the back of harvesters and arrived