Strange Stranger Strangest: The another-est collection of quirky tales

By Martii Maclean

This third collection of quirky short stories goes to strange places just beyond the here and now. Come travelling to these peculiar worlds where mermaids can ride bicycles on their birthdays, and drive-movies still exist but not everyone gets to leave the drive-in when the movie finishes. Visit the school where something very weird and dangerou

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kooky Cat Books
• Release date: Jan 18, 2020
• ISBN: 9780987644237

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Published by Kooky Cat Books 2020

Copyright © 2019 Martii Maclean

www.martiimaclean.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission from both the copyright owner and publisher.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.

Book cover design and formatting services by the SelfpublishingLab.com

First edition 2020

ISBN 978-0-9876442-2-0 (pbk)

ISBN 978-0-9876442-3-7 (e-bk)

For Trevor and Minerva,

thank you

for adventuring with me

as I explore strange and unanticipated terrains.

Contents

Go On…Take a Bite

Happy Birthday

Cat-Bot

Naughty or Nice

Drive-in

Time for a Holiday

Swims Like a Fish

Here, Ducky-Ducky

Go On…Take a Bite

The wooden bench was rough and splintery. My purple jeans were catching on the tiny jags of wood as I squirmed and turned, looking at all the kids walking past, who were looking past me and around me for a place to sit. I watched, hopeful, but I knew they wouldn’t sit next to me to eat lunch, not because of the splintery seat but because that was the way Mandy liked it. So I sat alone, every day.

I took a bite of my apple and wriggled, trying to look calm as I chewed. My fidgeting made my jeans snag on the splintery seat again.

Chew—chew—chew.

Everything went quiet. I could smell Mandy’s perfume, sweet, flowery, wafting around from behind me. All eyes were turned in my direction, waiting to see what would happen. Everyone knew something would happen. It always did.

I waited. My face got hot and the heat crept out over my skin. My hand was sweaty. My clammy fingers slipped across the shiny skin of my apple. I gripped it tighter, made myself take another bite.

Chew—chew—chew.

There was a spark of pain. My head was tugged backwards as Mandy pulled my hair. I ignored her. I took a breath, let it out slowly, and the pain faded. I put down my sweaty apple on the rough wood. Then I stood up and slowly turned.

Mandy stepped up close, leaning over the seat towards me. Her breath smelt like cupcake. She always smelt the same — flowers and cupcake, and she always came to bully me, every lunchtime. I’d tried all kinds of things to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t, so today I was going to do something she would never expect.

‘Hi Mandy.’ I stepped around the splintery seat and stood extra close to her. I tilted my head and smiled a huge smile at her. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’ I put my arm around her shoulder. ‘I saved you a seat … come on, sit here, next to me.’ I nudged her down onto the splintery bench. ‘Here, have my other apple.’ I shoved my lunchbox at her with another enthusiastic smile. ‘We can share lunch, like BFFs.’ I squeaked out a fake giggle and leaned my head on her shoulder.

She pulled away and stared at me. She just sat there, almost like she was frozen. My face stretched into a huge smile, but mostly I was smiling at myself. I pulled the apple out of my lunchbox and pushed it into her hand.

She stayed frozen and looked from me to the apple and back again. I supposed she couldn’t figure out what to do next. It was hard to fight with someone who wouldn’t fight back. Sure, Mandy would be confused because her bullying wasn’t making me look scared. That was why I’d decided to try something new.

‘Go on, take a bite.’ I took her hands in mine, squeezed them around the apple and lifted the shiny fruit to her lip-glossy lips. She croaked, but no real words came out. Then she bit into the apple, and I smiled a lot more. I had to try really hard not to laugh. I really wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh a lot, because I knew … that I’d licked that apple. I’d licked that apple all over, a lot.

I didn’t think Mandy would have any trouble having a fight with me if she knew that I’d licked the apple she’d just bitten into. I’d never been able to stop her picking on me before, but now I had my secret revenge.

I scrunched in really close next to her and gave her a friendly nudge. ‘Tasty, isn’t it?’ I took a big bite of my own apple and hoped that having my mouth full would stop me laughing.

Chew—chew—chew.

‘I’ll bring you another apple just like that one tomorrow, now that we’re BFFs.’

Happy Birthday

Meg walked up the beach, watching the last of the storm clouds blow out to sea. That was when she saw the girl. Yes, it was definitely a girl, lying on the sand at the far end of the beach. Meg’s heart jolted. Her feet decided to turn her around, they were getting ready to run away from this girl who was lying so still after the storm. Meg wanted to follow the advice her feet were giving her and run to get help, but she also wanted to know, she wanted to see, so she kept on walking.

The sound of talk and laughter drifted along the sand from behind Meg. She turned and looked at the kids sitting outside the shops, way down near the jetty at the far end of the beach. She was the only one that had walked this far up the beach after the storm. It was just Meg