She Just Disappeared: A Mother's Faith Journey to Find Her Child

By DENISE Hollingsworth

At the close of her sophomore year of college, Denise Hollingsworth’s daughter disappeared from her university campus with no forwarding address. For ten long years, Hollingsworth grieved the absence of a child, not knowing if she was still alive as the years passed.

This interactive nonfiction does more than detail the author’

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phoenix Ministries, LLC
• Release date: Nov 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781733991919

Book preview

Prologue

This story arose from the shambles of my emotional self, restored and resurrected, when a child lost was returned. There was indeed suffering over this journey, but I drew lessons from my experience, and my thoughts will be shared generously. Your backdrop will be a consistent, driving series of questions: Dear God, where is my daughter? Will I ever see her again? Will my faith in God survive this ordeal?

This journey of faith is shared because God knows there are people who need encouragement during their struggles with life’s challenges. As you wrestle with personal adversities, you might be questioning God and His ultimate plan in the context of the current crisis. Or perhaps you are working hard to reconcile conflicting perspectives on allowing God’s will to prevail versus fervently beseeching God to grant your precise wish. Regardless of your approach, encouragement from another who has weathered some turbulent winds of life can offer solace and perhaps insight on faith. With God’s blessing, this story aims to provide support for you as well as opportunities for related reflection.

I otherwise have no overwhelming need to share this pain, my spiritual struggles, or confidential information. Quite the contrary. My practice is to allow matters closer to my heart to linger in the shadows. Protected. That resistance to self-disclosure, however, undermines the more pressing need to follow God’s design. And I believe that it is God’s design that I share this emotionally complex story with you. It is my hope that you will feel the ebbs and flows of this ordeal and understand my struggle with my faith as I tried to survive each heart-wrenching day that I longed for my missing child. And through this, may you find the courage and faith to work through your own challenges.

So in this moment, I take your hand, and we will walk together along my path. We will stop at reflection points along the way, allowing for moments of contemplation. Try to hear my voice as I attempt to engage you in gentle conversation.

Our time together may be peppered with pain. As we travel, should a wave of overwhelming darkness suck away your very breath, should sadness threaten your will to continue, know that God is there. You feel alone, but you are not alone.

Now, let’s begin.

1

Why Job?

Sometimes we find ourselves in sad, dark places, wondering just how a crisis came upon us so suddenly. Yesterday was just an ordinary day, but today the same life has become unrecognizable. We see no easy solution to our predicament, and we may feel overwhelmingly alone. I found myself in this darkness some years ago when my daughter disappeared.

When she left without a trace, I felt a dense shroud of hopelessness fall over me; a shroud so heavy and powerful that only the Almighty could lift it. But this deference did not always come easily. Without question, my submission to God’s will was a struggle as you will realize as we travel along my darkened path. But know that the book of Job graciously gave me glimpses of light on faith and patience. Guidance from Job will also illuminate our journey throughout my walk with you.

You may be intimately aware of the biblical account of Job’s saga. For those less familiar, the book of Job is an Old Testament account of a God-fearing man who was successful in all aspects of his life when measured by conventional standards. He had a large family, substantial material possessions, and notable status. He was known as a man of God, yet his life had a period of troubling personal loss, unsettling questions of unjustifiable punishment, as well as heated inquiries around God’s presence during personal strife.

The Bible refers to Job in the following manner:

He had seven sons and three daughters,

and he owned seven thousand sheep,

three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of

oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a

large number of servants. He was the greatest

man among all the people of the East.

(Job 1:2–3, New International Version [NIV])

It is unclear whether his greatness was attributed to his wealth or his faithfulness to God. Although I believe that his greatness could be attributed to both aspects of his life, the author of the book of Job does not elaborate on this point. We must simply accept the absolute statement that he was the greatest man in the East.

During a conversation between God and Satan, God asked Satan if he knew of Job, proudly holding Job out as beyond reproach.

T here is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. (Job 1:8, NIV)

Satan replied to the Lord:

D oes Job fear God for nothing? Satan replied. Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face. (Job 1:9–11, NIV)

And the Lord’s response to Satan:

"V ery well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord. (Job 1:12, NIV)

With those words, Satan was given permission to proceed according to his discretion, the only limitation being not to afflict Job’s body.

Job lost all his possessions. More tragically, however, Job lost his children after that fateful conversation between God and Satan. This account is written in such a cursory and sudden fashion that I always feel a bit of a jolt whenever I read this passage:

Amessenger came to Job and said, The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, and the Sabeans attacked and made off with them. . .