Knob

By Russell Helms

Oh, what a wonderful e-mail! Decline of the able-bodied greeter. Carefully hidden among the potatoes. Hot pear. Tooth strikes sink. My child is pretty. Is that your thatch? U.S.S. Pajama Bottom. Ectopic fantasy. Cat refuses to swallow hair, dies young. Save all Teds. The birthday party across the street functions without us, apparently

• Language: English
• Publisher: sij books
• Release date: Aug 22, 2017
• ISBN: 9781943661190

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KNOB

KNOB

Russell Helms

copyright ©, 2017, Russell Helms

first edition

sij books

www.sijbooks.com

Please inquire for rights and reproduction.

Cover image: Adobe Stock images

Death is hard,

candy. Most animals eat the placenta. She lost thirty pounds on a diet of tendons and ligaments. Goddamn you is not a suggestion. The hydrogen bomb is difficult to conceal in pastry. If you can’t get rid of the tapeworm, at least try to work with him. There is no such thing as a good tongue lashing. The sickness unto death is fairly obvious. The smog over Los Angeles, is, in fact, a blessing from God.

Decaffeinated tea is a poor substitute for liquid nitrogen. Murder, on trains, is to be expected. When preparing ape, discard the feet and hands. The virus has many secrets but tells no lies. The Lord may be my shepherd, but I still want a new computer.

The waddling yellow parrot seemed distracted by the eclipse. After the high-speed train derailed, several bystanders were heard to mutter. Vanilla pudding goes with just about anything. Twelve times a minute, five minutes go by. Those people are waving at the airplane. Hard yellow pimples and drool complete the package and the epileptic boy was friendly but unreliable and retired steel workers fidget with bagels and the time of death was determined to coincide with the moment of decapitation and many years ago biscuits were never frozen. It would be nice if I knew better.

Loud cursing neither distracts nor agitates the venomous cobra. The brain is inherently moist. After losing several games, the hockey team abandoned their glue sticks. Marooned, eating cherries. The tapeworm is not standard. The divine medium: Jesus was a C-student.

Cough drops prevent cough drops. I joined a gang of locusts, but failed to stomach their ideas. A box inside a box is not a box. The triangles in my brain annoy the squares. In a distant galaxy, there is no milk, only milk powder. I can see over the next mountain because it is behind me. Never cross your eyes when approaching the speed of light. The blood made her teeth seem whiter.

In the town of Scissors there is no hair, no paper, only stones. Lick my yellow teeth. Oligarchy on toast. I am surrounded by skin. A candle cannot wax. The eye of the bass is upon you. Hurricane Catatonia left a wake of silence. The rat lives in the sewer by choice, begging the question of poverty. Picking peaches with one leg. Broken monkeys, more bananas. Crabs on my scabs. Swollen ankles for breakfast. Mules nodding in Tennessee.

No matter how hard I chewed, the gum remained the same. Seraphim or succubae? Eating apples in a coal mine. On becoming a grain of sand, I no longer saw the sky. A penny saved never says thank you. Strawberries and bream.

I blew out the candle then blew out my brains—I am lighting the candle. The mall in Rome, Georgia, wasn’t built in a day. Into the mail Strom Thurmond fell. Perhaps one day when we stand in line for air there will be less television.

A harelip can, in fact, reach Cuba. Candlesticks of gold lead to murder. I have yet to want to strike a child and kick a dog instead. Far out is best out. Amway products. My skin is alive with hair! The horny priest ravaged his bishopric. Bare not false teeth against thy neighbor. Crucified with Tourette syndrome. In order to be unglued, first, one must come unglued.

Wow and Zowie have a cat, Ethelbert. Dru keeps his social skills in a brown paper bag. The bag is very small, as big as an apple. Unemployment rates are low and that’s okay as long as there’s room for me. My head belongs to many people. Most of them wear black and gray, except for the one in a coma who wears a thin white gown. It’s a crazy world said the psychiatrist orbiting the earth in a yellow canoe.

I use a tiny German torque wrench to tighten the screws in my glasses. I peeled a yield