Viz comic, P.O.Box 841 Whitley Bay, NE26 9EQ letters@viz.co.uk
Your correspondence to VIZ editor Hampton Doubleday
STAR LETTER
IF THE Multiverse theory is correct, and there is indeed an infinite number of parallel universes, then there must be one in which fish and chips is served the other way round, where you get one massive chip and lots of little tiny fish. Well, I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life! I think I’ll stick with this universe, thank-you very much.
Ben Nunn, Caterham
WHAT’S all this ‘wafer thin ham’ about? Why would it being wafer thin make me want to buy it? I’m not going to say “Yes, I’d love a ham sandwich, but make sure the ham is so thin that I’ll have to put four slices in.” I want a thick slab of ham between the bread. Get your heads out of your arses, supermarkets.
Ken Jenkins, Kings Langley
I THINK it’s a disgrace that the tallest person ever to have topped the UK pop charts is an Italian. DJ Spiller stood at 6’ 9” when Groovejet (If this Ain’t Love) reached number one in 2001. We didn’t leave the EU so that ruddy foreigners could hold the record for the UK’s loftiest chart-topping recording artiste. Are there any Brits reading this who can play an instrument or sing, and – crucially – are 6’ 10” or over? If so, it’s your patriotic duty to release a number one single and bring this record home.
Ellis Dexter, London
SUBJECT to availability goes without saying. Surely you can only have stuff that exists.
Christina Martin, Bexhill-on-Sea
IT IS believed by some that a loved one, angel, or spirit guide may be trying to send you a message of hope or peace if a butterfly lands on you. Following this theory, I can only assume that the butterfly that landed on my half-completed Craptic Crossword was a manifestation of Lucifer. And I wonder what message he was trying to send?
Sweep Lafferty, Reading
somebody commits a murder in the films or on telly, they always dig a six-foot long hole in the woods in order to bury the body. What
