The Shared Spouse

By Julie Cannon

Any pastor's wife knows what it's like to go for days at a time without having a meaningful conversation with her husband. His phone rings all the time. Church members need him, and their needs are very real. Still, sometimes it is hard for the pastor's wife to see him listening intently to other people's problems when she feels neglected. She may

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Baptist Courier
• Release date: Aug 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781940645131

Book preview

The Shared Spouse

A Six-Week Devotional for Ministry Families

By Julie Cannon

The Shared Spouse:

A Six-Week Devotional for Ministry Families

by Julie Cannon

Copyright © 2014

by Julie Cannon

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form

without permission in writing from the author or publisher.

ISBN: 978-1-940645-05-6

CourierPublishing

100 Manly Street

Greenville, South Carolina 29601

Printed in the United StateS of america

Cover design: Candace Rathbone

Book design: Denise Huffman

Introduction

This book is dedicated to every pastor and his family. To everyone who sacrificially gives of their time and talent each week to serve the congregation to which they were called. To the church staff member who is just starting his or her ministry, and to the one who is preparing for retirement.

Why this title? Ministers are easily shared with multiple people. I know you may find this concept bizarre, especially if you are just starting out in your ministry. However, it is possible to go days on end without actually spending time talking with your spouse, while others are talking to them, eating lunch with them and having more conversations with them than you are. My husband Stephen and I have been married for 13 years. His phone rings and vibrates all the time. Sometimes I think it is going to self-destruct from all the calls and texts that come through his line. Lots of times it is people who just need someone to talk to and listen to them. It is not a ministerial need as much as they need a counselor or a friend. Sometimes it is hard to hear and see your spouse intently listening to other people’s problems when you feel neglected and overlooked. In ministry, if you aren’t careful you focus on everyone else’s needs in your congregation while neglecting those of your spouse.

I clearly remember the day that I felt like God was calling me to write this book for families in ministry. I remember having more questions than answers and really had no idea what was in store for me. It was a clear calling, even though I couldn’t map out a plan from point A to point B. Even though I grew up as a preacher’s kid, there have been many ministry moments where I just didn’t understand the plan or purpose for the sleepless nights, depression, or defeat that often accompany ministry. I’ve seen it touch my parents’ lives and, now, frequently my husband and children. I am writing this in hopes that it will provide encouragement and support to you and your family, whether you are beginning your journey or you are nearing the finish line. The Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:6-8: For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for His appearing. Paul clearly knew his course, kept the fundamentals of his faith, and wanted to share with someone else beginning his ministry.

During this journey, God directed me to the book of Jeremiah as the primary book for this Bible study. Jeremiah was a preacher’s kid — a PK. I am sure that if Jeremiah was like most PKs, he fully intended to not serve in any ministry capacity. I distinctly remember telling the Lord that I had no intention of ever marrying a pastor. I didn’t. When Stephen and I married, he was an insurance agent. I am sure that the Lord smiled, knowing ministry was in my near future.

In the book of Jeremiah, we will see throughout this study that the Word of the Lord came to the prophet with a specific call. Jeremiah 1:6 says, ‘Ah, Sovereign Lord,’ I said, ‘I do not know how to speak, I am only a child.’ God answers in verses 7 and 8: But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, I am only a child. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them for I am with you and will rescue you,’ declares the Lord.

What a powerful message to Jeremiah and a powerful message to the modern ministry family. I was in church nine months before I was born, and as God directed me to write this study I questioned him with the same question as Jeremiah did: Why me, Lord? Many other pastors’ wives are so much more seasoned than I. The Lord continued to lay this burden on my heart so much that I would wake up early in the morning, knowing He was telling me to get up, listen to Him, and write as He directed.

We all struggle with our inadequacies, failures and feeling overwrought at times with the pressures associated with ministry and serving others. Balancing that against the pressures of the household, work, children and church can be overwhelming.

Let’s keep in mind Jeremiah 1:8, as the Lord is with us at all times — even those Sundays when we wish for an off day.

Dedications

This devotional is dedicated to the following people:

Rev. Sam and Brenda Hammett, my beloved parents

My husband, Stephen, and three children — Natalie, Tyler, and Ruthie Cannon

Dr. Wayne and Anita Dickard

Dr. Bobby and Beverly Morrow

The Parson’s Pantry Ministry, which helps needy ministers and their families.

Since the beginning of the ministry of Parson’s Pantry, the Lord has provided the resources to help more than 500 pastoral families. The theme verse for this ministry is Luke 6:38: Give and it shall be given to you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For the same measure that you met, it shall be given to you again. This ministry is under the wonderful direction of Rev. Ron and Karen Jackson.

Throughout this book, quotes such as those below will be listed as a reminder of the Parson’s Pantry Ministry:

What a blessing your courage, vision and sharing are to me. Thank you for not just thinking of the Lord’s servants, but for lending your hands, love and prayers to help. Your thoughts and prayers are a great comfort to me. To know you think of the widow, so often forgotten, is refreshing. Thank you for the gift from Parson’s Pantry. It will help this month, which is my heavy medicine month. I pray for each of you as you continue this ministry.

— Widow of pastor, Darlington, South Carolina

We received your financial assistance yesterday. Thank you for being God’s answered prayer to us. Throughout this difficult situation in our lives, we tried to cling to God’s promises that he will never leave the righteous forsaken. Thank you for allowing us to see that God really cares and provided our needs through your ministry.

— Student at Columbia International University, Columbia, South Carolina

Words cannot begin to explain what your generous gift means to us. Your gift came just in the time of a great need, and we can only praise God through you. We know God sent you to us special delivery. Thank you again, and God bless you.

— Retired pastor, Windsor, South Carolina

Thank you so much for the way God has used you to bless those of us who are having difficult times. God is so merciful. Thank you for the gift. I recently had knee replacement and I have been out of service for a while. Keep me in your prayers as I do for you and Parson’s Pantry. May God forever bless and keep your ministry strong.

— Pastor in Virginia

Endorsements

Julie Cannon is well qualified to write these studies and helps for the minister’s family because she is the daughter of a pastor and also the wife of a pastor. She understands both from a family and a spouse point of view. Many men are resigning from the ministry, and many families are hurting because of things that happen to them in the ministry. The great truths and wonderful help you will receive from these devotionals will bless you. I know it will strengthen the family of the men of God who faithfully proclaim His Word and serve His people.

— Dr. David Gallamore

Pastor, Rock Springs Baptist Church

Julie Cannon is truly a lady of great faith, strength and character. She lives the Word and models the role of a pastor’s wife with grace and dignity. While serving with Julie on a Baptist church staff, I observed firsthand her love for people and her keen insight into ministry. She is a gifted educator, mother and writer. Julie’s organizational skills are unmatched. I believe that God will use this book to encourage and uplift other women who are struggling to balance the roles of mother, employee, wife and church leader. Julie has a keen insight into how this is done. You will be blessed to read this book.

— Because He Lives!

Dr. Wayne Dickard

Pastor, Siloam Baptist Church

"Julie Cannon has penned a wonderful book entitled ‘The Shared Spouse.’ We hear the voice of experience in every chapter. Julie is a loving and devoted mother to her children, Natalie and Tyler; she is also a dedicated mate to her spouse, Stephen Cannon. In this devotional book, Julie shares experiences that are relevant to every minister and servant of Jesus Christ. Julie gives encouraging principles from God’s eternal Word that are very helpful when servants of our Lord face challenging and difficult times. Couples involved in ministry will be greatly blessed by reading and discussing this book together. It was a joy for me to serve with Julie and Stephen Cannon at East Gaffney Baptist Church in Gaffney, South Carolina. A pastor could not ask for a better couple to serve with in ministry. Julie has a wonderful, loving heart for the Lord’s servants; she grew up in a pastor’s home. Stephen