The Tears of Angels

By Bridget P. Walker

Xenia was abandoned in Brooklyn as soon as she was born; forced to endure a solitary upbringing in the care of Mrs. Bailey, a loving worker at her foster home. While distant as a child and teenager, Xenia possessed a deep and profound love for Mrs. Bailey, Who like a loving mother to her let her know no matter what she experiences in life to alw

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReadersMagnet LLC
• Release date: Jan 26, 2019
• ISBN: 9781948864411

Book preview

The Tears of Angels

Copyright © 2018 by Bridget P. Walker

Published in the United States of America

ISBN Paperback: 978-1-948864-40-4

ISBN Hardback: 978-1-948864-73-2

ISBN eBook: 978-1-948864-41-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author except as provided by USA copyright law.

The opinions expressed by the author are not necessarily those of ReadersMagnet, LLC.

ReadersMagnet, LLC

10620 Treena Street, Suite 230 | San Diego, California, 92131 USA

1.619. 354. 2643 | www.readersmagnet.com

Book design copyright © 2018 by ReadersMagnet, LLC. All rights reserved.

Cover design by Ericka Walker

Interior design by Shieldon Watson

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 

Chapter 13 

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17 

Chapter 18 

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

This book is dedicated to parents all over the world

who have suffered the loss of a precious infant or child

due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Character of

The Tears of Angels

from the beginning

Xenia X

The story was based on Xenia’s life. Her real mother abandoned her at the doorstep of a group foster home at birth. She was found by one of the workers who raised her in the group home as if she was her own daughter.

Mrs. Bailey

She is the woman who found Xenia at the doorstep of the group home. She took special care of her as if she was her own daughter. She raised her with very strong spiritual values, provided her with all the love and support that any mother can give her child.

Xenia as a child

With Mrs. Baily and neighbor

Tessa and Bod

Bob is Tessa’s lover and Paul’s best friend

Tessa is Xenias roommate and best friend

Steve and Denise

Steve is Denise husband and Paul’s and Bob military bodies

She was a woman, who was really and angel walking by, when a pregnant woman who was Xenia, a stranger to her walked by, she suddenly turned around after she passed by Xenia, and saw a demon walking side by side with Xenia, with the intention to take her unborn child.

Mrs. Smith She was another woman, also and angel who was placed in Xenias life not only to protect her, but to provide her with knowledge of her spiritual calling/gift and guide her and what needed to be done to do the work chosen to do.

Was an eight-year-old child, who was really an angel place as a student in Xenia’s classroom, to establish a spiritual support and connection with Xenia, because of the great pain and suffering she was going through due to the lost/ death of her beloved baby Alex, her only child and known relative.

To the Reader

The idea to write this book came from a dream I had at sixteen. I wanted to tell my mother the dream as soon as I got up, but she had already left for work. As the day passed by, I realized that the dream was fading away. I got a pencil and paper and started to write it down.

As soon as my mother came home from work, I told her about the dream and that I was afraid. She put her arms around me and told me that she was sorry I had such a dream at my young age, but she said not to think or worry about it. Later that evening, I overheard her telling our next-door neighbor about the dream. She first told her that I saw a baby sleeping in his crib, and strange shadows over the baby’s crib were looking down at him. As they were looking at him, it seemed as if he was having problem breathing and he was gasping for air; suddenly his eyes closed and his body was still as if he was dead. I screamed, and the shadows turned around and looked at me and started coming toward me. I ran screaming and woke up frightened. My mother asked the neighbor if she remembered when my sister died in her crib while she was sleeping. And right after my sister died, there were quite a few more deaths in the area, and everyone in the neighborhood was very concerned. The neighbor reminded Mom about the spiritual bushman who came to town, and every parent with small children started buying spiritual and religious items from him to clean and bless their homes in order to protect their loved ones. She said that whatever he sold the people worked. There were no more babies dying in their sleep.

The neighbor also said that she hoped my mother did not mention to me the way my sister died. My mother told her that she did not. She thought that I was scared enough by the dream.

They talked for a very long time, remembering the old neighborhood and all the strange, unnatural, and terrible things that happened not only in their neighborhood but also all over.

Some of us, because of our faith, don’t want to believe in the forces of evil. Others are afraid and don’t want to associate with anyone or anything that they feel is evil or unnatural. From my own experiences, I can tell you that I have seen enough to make any person’s hair turn white in seconds.

Like me, there are many individuals out there who are born with the special gift to see, feel, and recognize evil. We know that it comes in many form and faces.

The important thing is what you should do about any force of evil when you come across it or when it crosses your path.

Many individuals die daily in an act of evil—evil not only done by demons and the evil dead but also by man. Every church that is doing God’s work knows about the different kind of evils out there and how dangerous they are. They know that these evils can hurt someone spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially.

We cannot ignore some of the strange things that hap pen in our communities, churches, homes, businesses, and government, and on our streets—such as accidents, unnecessary crimes, constant killings, and corruption, as well as the number of diseases and hardships that we suffer from, no matter how much we work to make things better. Many of us go to church and pray; we know that some of the things we suffer from are not normal. How can we help ourselves if one spiritual leader does not feel or does not see what we go through?

To all of the so-called preachers and ministers who have claimed they were called by our eternal father, God, to do his work: the Bible is not all about using the gospel of our Lord God to provide funds for big houses and fancy cars, hoping that if you serve him, you will become millionaires. It is about educating all children of God, through Bible studies, about the way to salvation and all the promises that he made—and to be aware that we are all living in spiritual danger, because of all the spiritual evil in our midst done by demons as well as man. What you need to learn and do is how to use the Bible to remove the forces of evil that affect their lives and the lives of their loved ones. That is what our Lord did. Don’t just read and preach the pretty parts in the Bible that address what you can do to get his financial blessings. I believe in Matthew 19:21: Jesus said to the man, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shall have treasure in heaven, and come and follow me. How great is that? Why does it always have to be about financial blessings? He knows all our needs and will bless us accordingly.

All the teaching and preaching about financial blessings more than salvation, remind me I believe of Matthew four when Satan was tempting Jesus.

His blessed journeys were not about money and wealth. They were all about nourishing his followers with salvation, the kingdom of Heaven, and all the wonderful things our heavenly father has prepared for anyone who believes and trusts in him. In fact, throughout all his preaching and teaching, our Lord spent time healing, as well as casting out demons, which are probably part of our daily lives much more today than in the old days. Spiritual evil is openly practiced not only by demons but also by those who serve them every day, through human and animal sacrifices, for wealth, power, and many other things I need not to mention.

As head of a church and a true follower of our Lord, Jesus Christ, every minister knows of the temptations and tribulations that are out there. They know that many of the things out there that are happening daily are not of natural causes. The Bible is packed with information concerning deadly enemies, visible and invisible. Life is sacred; no human being, especially children and teenagers, should become food for demons.

As head of your church, what are you doing to save the lives of your members and their loved ones? What are you doing to protect your communities from spiritual evil? Were you really called to serve by our heavenly father? As I said before, be careful.

Every man of God should know not only how to do God’s talk but also how to do his walk. Are you following in his footsteps? Be careful. If you were truly called, then by now you should have gotten the vision and the message, given not so long ago to all spiritual warriors of God, concerning the new set of demons lining up to target individuals who are serving not in spirit or in truth, but for the financial benefits that comes with it. The guardian spirit of the individual unfaithfulness to God is valuable to them.

I consider myself out, as I am much older now and know that I do not have the energy to continue fighting any kind of spiritual battle or demons. I have been doing it since the age of six, and I am tired and do not have the health or the strength to do so any longer. The Holy Spirit of God came to prepare me, and it took him seven years to do so. I never realized how drained and broken I was spiritually, physically, and mentally. All I know is that I was too tired and did not want to be working in the spiritual world anymore.

I have no choice in the things that our heavenly father lined up for me to do. One of my spiritual sisters warned me not to give up my calling on my own. I did, and I paid highly for it, as I lost every blessing that came with it and at the end almost lost my life. God is merciful and faithful to anyone who serves him. He gave me a second chance by renewing my strength; in fact, he doubles my energy, something that I feel I do not deserve. Now I just sit and wait for him to lead me where he wants me to go and do what he wants me to do.

The saying is that belief can kill and belief can cure.

What do you believe?

Introduction

Living in a group foster home is not something that a child wants to do or likes, but as children we have no choice in the matter. The fact remains that we are in foster homes because our parents, for whatever reason, are not available to provide the care that we needed from them.

Many children are lucky to live with parents and get to know them before going into foster homes. Others are not that lucky; they never get the chance to know who their parents and may never know who they are. I would say that in either case a child is still considered fortunate, because some parents kill their infants at birth or rob them of every chance at life, disposing of them as if they were garbage. The sad thing is that it happens every day all over the world. My story started when I was about to turn eighteen. I planned to leave my foster home to be on my own. I was lucky to graduate early from high school and be prepared to go straight to college, where I was to major in special education.

Leaving the foster home where I spent all my life thanks to Ms. Bailey, gave me a feeling of sadness. She was like a mother to me; she taught me everything I know, and it was because of her that I was in a foster home until I graduated from high school. She did everything she could to keep me as close to her as possible. Many of my little friends were adopted, and some went to live in other foster homes with loving families who take care of foster children.

I never wanted to leave Ms. Bailey. I remember when she was dying; she requested that they bring me to see her. She looked into my eyes and said to me, "I’m leaving you, my child, but you are not alone. It took a lot for me to get you out of that world of sadness you were in as a child. You were so unhappy because we could not give you any information about your parents. I told you that I was the one who found you on the doorstep. There was no information, just a naked, little newborn girl. I took a piece of paper and wrote a name on it: Xenia. And that is why you have that name. I could not put down a last name.

I called for you just to see you one more time before I die, because I want you to remember everything I taught you, especially the prayers. No matter what you are going through in life, always pray and you will find all the answers you need. I was a foster child too. I never knew who my parents were, and I too was tormented. But I found a friend who told me that I was never alone. From the moment I was born until now, God has been with me. I’m telling you this because he is here by my side with a beautiful smile; he has come to take me home. I want to thank you for being such a very special part of my life.

"I’m turning him over to you so that he can take care of you, the same way he took care of me while I’ve been alive. He made my life worth living and gave me the strength to overcome every obstacle that life put in my path. He will do the same for you. Just keep him by your side and call on him at all times to thank him, to praise and glorify him, because it is at all times that you need him, not only when you are in trouble.

Don’t worry about where you came from or who you belong to; he is your beginning and your end. He is all you need. Let not your heart be troubled; the road is long and narrow, but if you trust him, even in sorrow you will find joy. Remember him, my child. He is your Lord and Savior.

Those were her last words before she gently took a deep breath and closed her eyes with my hands in hers. I cried and cried for days and weeks. I still cry from time to time when I remember her. I sometimes feel alone, but then I remember her words.

As I was getting ready to leave the only home I had ever known, her words would be my guide throughout my life, because she was like a mother to me. If that was how it feels to have a mother, then I did not really miss out on anything. She was the best, and I was blessed to have someone like her in my life to teach me and, most of all, show me how easy it is to love.

Chapter 1

..M y graduation was on a Saturday. I could not believe that I did it: work and college at the same time. Those prayers surely worked out for me. There were times when I felt that I was not going to make it, but I hung in there. I wished Ms. Bailey had been there to share it with me, but wherever she was, I knew that she was proud of me.

I was really going to miss New York, and I hoped I didn’t regret moving to Virginia. I was told that life there was not as easy as it was for people in New York.

I was thinking about the city of Portsmouth, where I found my teaching job. The board of education in Portsmouth was the first one to respond to all the resumes I sent out. As Ms. Bailey used to say, pray on it and let it happen. My plans were to go to Virginia after graduation for the interview, check out the area for a place to live, and that would be that.

My new job would enable me to make a fresh start in a new home with everything new. I could afford to have a real life like everyone else. It was hard not having anyone to count on in emergencies; I had to sacrifice a lot just to get to this day. Everyone thought that I was a bit strange because I never wanted to go to parties or take part in any kind of activities, not even dating.

I could not live the kind of life that people wanted me to live—one in which I could have fun and enjoy myself with everyone around me—because I was on a mission. I had to build some kind of foundation for myself so I could be someone and have something to fall back on. We don’t know the future; all we can do is prepare for it—especially someone with my kind of background. I had to rely on the system for everything I needed in my life as an infant, a child, and a teenager. I stopped by the home to thank everyone and to say goodbye. It had been six years since I last visited there, and most of the people I knew had transferred to other locations. When I looked at all the kids, I wondered how I made it so long there if I was as depressed and sad as they looked. I just sat there looking at them, crying in my heart as I thought how lucky I was. Ms. Bailey made a difference in my life. I hoped that there was someone like her there to take care of those kids just like she took care of me.

My graduation day finally approached, and I was just about ready. I was sure Ms. Bailey would have found great pleasure in walking into the auditorium with me. I knew she would do that as an angel. As soon as the day dawned, I was eager to experience graduation and all the hope it offered for a new life.

Xenia, are you ready? Tessa, asked. Just a minute, I answered.

Hurry! They’re here, she urged. They?

Yes, Bob met up with two old friends from the military. They’re here on business. He wanted to go out with them, but I asked him to bring them with him when he takes us to graduation. They can hang out later.

Okay, I’m ready, I told her. You look good, girl. Thanks, Tessa.

When we got into the car, Bob introduced us to his friends, Paul and Steve.

The ceremony was really nice, and I was very happy that Tessa, Bob, and his friends accompanied me. I would have felt very alone otherwise, especially when I looked around and saw so many family members and friends laughing, hugging, kissing, and congratulating all the other graduates.

Congratulations! Paul saluted. Thanks, Paul.

Congratulations from us too, said Tessa. Thanks to all of you for attending.

It was my pleasure, Paul said, smiling. I’m so glad it’s over with, I said.

Now where do we go from here? asked Bob.

If Xenia or any of you don’t mind, said Paul, I would like us to go out and celebrate.

That’s a great idea, said Tessa. I should have thought of it.

Paul asked me to choose a place for us to go, but since I didn’t go to many places, I didn’t know what to suggest. Well, Tessa, you know all the good spots in town, Bob said. Okay, downtown Manhattan it is then, Tessa told Bob as he shifted into gear.

What did you major in, Xenia? Paul asked. Special education, I said.

Special education, Steve interrupted. I had a special ed. teacher for quite a while.

Where is she now, Steve? asked Bob. I believe you still need her.

Everyone burst out laughing at Bob’s remark. You are not funny, Bob, said Steve.

That’s nice, Xenia, said Paul. Are you going to look for a school to work in this fall?

I did already, I replied.

You didn’t tell me about that, Xenia, said Tessa.

I just got the letter yesterday, Tessa. The board of ed. in Virginia wrote me, I said.

Virginia, Bob replied. Paul is from Virginia.

I am, Paul said. Virginia is a large place. Do you know exactly what city?

Paul told me that was where he lived, and that although some parts of Portsmouth used to be bad, it had changed a lot because of the new developments all around. There are better communities now, and life there is much nicer, he said. Regardless of what anyone said, he liked living in Portsmouth. It was not any different from any other city. People there, like everywhere else, tried to live and work together. There were always good events in Portsmouth, and there were nice places where you could go to relax after a hard day at work and enjoy yourself any day of the week.

Are you originally from Portsmouth? I asked. No, he said. I’m from Florida, but I work there. Are you in the military? I queried.

Yes, I am. When are you planning to move to Virginia? he asked.

I have to check in at the school in two weeks, but I need to go there before that to look for a place to live.

Paul handed me his business card. Call me when you get there. I have a friend in real estate; he should be able to find you a place, said Paul.

Thank you.

Finally we arrived at the restaurant Tessa had chosen for my graduation celebration. It was a lovely place with plants and flowers, candles on the tables, and music playing. The hostess escorted us to our table.

Xenia, come with me to the restroom, Tessa said.

She quickly walked away from the table. Those guys cannot stop looking at you, she said with a girlish giggle.

Is that so? I asked. Not interested.

Girl, you’ve got to find someone, Tessa insisted. These men are very handsome and have good-paying jobs.

First I have to find myself.

What you mean by that? Tessa asked. Are you lost? I don’t want to get into that right now, I said.

I don’t know, girl. You are such a mystery, said Tessa. I’ve lived with you four years, and I know nothing about you, except that you are one of the kindest and sweetest persons I have ever shared a place with. I don’t see any friends come to visit you or even a family member. It’s like you are alone in the world. You never want to go anywhere. You have no kind of excitement in your life. You are really unique. Are those tears in your eyes? I’m sorry.

It’s nothing to do with you, Tessa, I said. I’m just happy that I graduated.

Tessa and I returned to our table, and when the waitress came to take our order, Bob asked her to bring the best champagne in the house to toast my success.

The waitress brought a chilled bottle of champagne and uncorked it. Paul made the first toast as we all touched each other’s glasses. The best to you, Xenia; may all your dreams come true.

Good luck with the move to Virginia, and good luck with your new job, added Steve.

Thank you all so much for making this day so special for me, I said.

Paul left the table and returned a while later with a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses tied with a beautiful bow. He presented them to me.

Wow, what beautiful roses! I exclaimed. I immediately walked away from the table.

What happened? asked Paul. Did I do something wrong? Why did she leave?

Tessa offered to check up on me, and when she found me, I apologized to her. This is the first time anyone has given me roses.

And you run, Xenia? she asked, stunned. Paul thought he did something wrong. Now get yourself together.

When we returned to the table, I apologized to Paul and thanked him for the beautiful roses. They are the first ones I’ve ever received, and I did not know how to react.

I’m glad that I’m the first person to give such beautiful roses to such a beautiful rose, said Paul.

Steve excused himself to go outside and smoke a cigarette, and both of his friends went with him. They sat on a bench outside the restaurant. Steve and Bob lit up their cigarettes, and Paul asked Bob for a cigarette.

You don’t smoke, Paul, said Bob.

I know, Bob. Who is that girl? asked Paul.

"I don’t know.