Willing Change

By Jane Collins

This book was written for anyone who wants a better future.

You were born knowing how to accomplish with ease, but with the influence of others you have formed mindsets that limit what you allow yourself to have, do, and be. Willing Change provides a simple and easy to use five- step model that helps you to learn the mindsets that slow you down

• Language: English
• Publisher: Burnstown Publishing House
• Release date: Jul 3, 2015
• ISBN: 9781772570328

Jane Collins

Jane is a native Oklahoman, but calls Texas her home after moving to the lone star state in the 1960’s. Jane retired to the hill country after a career in banking where she writes, designs greeting cards and enjoys the quite life of country living. She has been active in the local communities of Barksdale and Camp Wood and for three years wrote a weekly article in the local newspaper.

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BURNSTOWN PUBLISHING HOUSE

5 Leckie Lane

Burnstown, Ontario K0J 1G0

Telephone [phone]

www.burnstownpublishing.com

ISBN 978-1-77257-032-8

Copyright © Jane Collins 2012

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted in any form or by any means without

the prior written permission of the publisher or,

in case of photocopying or other reprographic copying, a licence

from Access Copyright (Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency),

1 Yonge Street, Suite 1900, Toronto, Ontario, M5E 1E5.

Published in Canada.

Cataloguing data available from Library and Archives Canada.

Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

1 — LIVING THROUGH CHANGE

2 — THE IMPORTANCE OF THOUGHTS

Your original self

The organization of thoughts

Core mindsets

Your rules

Results formula

3 — THE THOUGHT PROCESS

Your mind is like a computer

Mindset influences

You are the programmer

4 — THE INTRODUCTION OF DOUBT

Doubtful language

Doubtful mindsets

5 — PERCEPTION

Reality

Perception is selective

6 — SELF-CONCEPT IS A PERCEPTION

Self-awareness

7 — MODEL FOR CHANGING AND DEVELOPING MINDSETS

The change model

8 — DEVELOP A MINDSET FOR CREATING CHANGE

Expect and embrace change

9 — DEVELOP A MINDSET TO HANDLE UNPLANNED CHANGE

Acceptance

Decision-making

Problem solving

10 — CASE STUDY

Bibliography

About the Author

Dedication

To my children, Tyler and Laura.

Introduction

Is change good or bad? The answer depends on how you look at it. Sometimes we welcome change and other times we dread it. We welcome change when we expect to feel happiness afterwards and dread it when we anticipate unhappiness. The changes in our lives are not the cause of our happiness or unhappiness; they are caused by our expectations and feelings about a particular change. We can feel pleased when our children grow up and leave our homes or we can feel depressed by the empty nest. We can feel elated about a move to a new city or feel terrified. As I hope to show you in this book, how we feel about the changes in our lives is an option dictated by our established mindsets — and mindsets can be changed. By becoming active in choosing how we perceive each change, we can alter our reactions. By selecting the thoughts we have about the goals we set, we can increase our chances of success and produce them in less time.

Maybe like me you are tired of reading self-help books that say how easy it is to make a change. It was not always easy for me. At times it was welcome and at other times just hard work. For the past twenty years, I have studied how to make changes that suit my needs and goals. I want to share with you what I have discovered to work best for me and what I believe can work well for you.

Changing your mind can be the easiest or the most difficult job you will ever take on. In this book, you will learn the basics of making life changes, but I do not promise it will be easy for you. I will tell you, though, it will be so much easier for you when you are ready, willing, and able. I believe you are already able, and you must create the will. If you are ready, continue reading!

The case studies in this book, although based on actual situations and experiences, are fictional.

◊ 1 ◊

LIVING THROUGH CHANGE

George and Ray

George was frantic. The boat he had been slowly paddling down the river was headed for rapids he could hear but not see. He did not have any idea as to how dangerous they might be, but he knew he had no desire to go through them. George had never travelled through any rapids before and he did not intend to make the attempt now. The idea of heading into waters that were unsafe and could set him on an unplanned course scared him. He was angry that no one had told him about the rapids. They were not marked on his map, and, although he never asked his guide about the possibility of rapids, he should have been told. He mentally prepared a letter of complaint to send once he got back home. He checked to make sure his life jacket was secure, turned his boat around, and headed back to safety. However, once he was caught in the current, there was no turning back. He fought with every bit of strength he had, but in the end he went through the rapids, fighting them, resenting them, and wishing his journey would end soon.

When Ray came to the same place on the river, he was pleased. He had been moving along at a steady pace, but he wanted to add some excitement to his journey. Since he also had some fears about trying something new, he checked to make sure his life jacket was secure, and then looked for the best way to get through the rapids safely. Instead of turning around and going against the current, he faced the same direction. He was able to avoid the rocks that were in his path and guide his boat safely through.

George’s journey through the rapids was filled with angst. He was fearful and unprepared. When he was faced with the reality of having to go through the rapids, he still fought the current. He was facing the wrong direction as well, making him more susceptible to hitting rocks or being thrown out of the boat. When he made it past the rapids, he wanted someone to pay for what he had just endured. He vowed to make sure that would never happen to him again. Ray navigated as successfully as he could, and although he had some narrow escapes with rocks, he felt satisfied when he completed that part of the trip because he knew he had done it well, and that he could do it again if there were more rapids in the future.

After passing the rapids, Ray looked around and noticed the wildflowers growing on the shore. He had never seen such flowers before and he paddled closer to take a better look. All along the shore as far as he could see were beautiful flowers and trees he had never seen before. In the distance, he saw mountains that astounded him. He was curious and pulled over to get a closer look. Nearer the shore, he saw some people playing baseball, something he had not done since he was thirteen. He got closer and they invited him to come and join them. Ray had had plans when he got into that boat, but it seemed to him they could wait a while as he enjoyed a beautiful sunny summer afternoon with some new friends.

George did not notice the flowers, nor that the people were having fun. He desperately wanted to get back to a point on the river before the rapids. He had been happy there and his plan had been to stay there forever, making it his home, and paddling just enough to avoid being swept away by the current. He could see only one way to get back, and that was to fight the rapids again. Although he wanted to go back, the rapids were not an option he was willing to consider. He asked the people for a map of the area so he could look for another route to return home.

Although the rapids had landed them in pleasant new territory, George still wanted to be at his original home, and could not see the opportunities available for enjoyment. He had no interest in the beautiful flowers and trees, the views, or in the people having fun. To him, there was only one way to be happy, and that was to return home. All he could think about was returning to the place where he felt most comfortable.

When George realized there was no other way to return but the way he had arrived, he decided what he needed was a bigger boat to better equip him to fight the rapids. His boat suddenly seemed inadequate, and he knew he would not have arrived at this position if only he’d had a larger boat in the first place. He thought it would improve his life back at home as well. He could have everything he already had plus a better boat.

Ray enjoyed some time with his new friends, but soon he knew it was time to move on. His original plans had changed as a result of stopping at this spot. His new friends were familiar with the area and gave him many ideas of new places to visit, people to meet, and more fun to have. With great anticipation, Ray was on his way again in search of a life he never imagined he could have.

Instead of making new plans as Ray did, George was still in search of his previous home. He looked to a bigger boat to save him from the situation he was in, and thought all he needed was a better means to fight the current and he could overcome it. Nothing worthwhile comes easily was his motto. Ray was hopeful that he could find a better life than he had; George was sure there was no better life than he had.

As he paddled farther, Ray found another idyllic place along the river. He slowed down and realized there were several islands ready to explore. He now had more choices of stops to make, routes to take, and people to visit, because he ventured farther down the river without knowing what he would find.

George valiantly fought the current in the bigger boat.

As they travelled, George had an expectation that once he returned home, everything would be the same as when he left it. He did not consider that his home was changing while he was away. People he knew were growing, learning, maturing, and some had left. As well, George was changing while he was away. He had a new determination now and a new boat. His friends and family would of course recognize that he had changed and some would be pleased, others not. If George could get back to his home, it would never meet his expectations of being the same as when he left it.

Ray recognized he was a different person now. Handling the rapids gave him a new confidence. He would always expect more and knew he would find a way to get it. He was also in a