Growing Love

By Mary Gant Bell

While her best friend is planning her future, Nikki is consumed with her past. Old secrets threaten to sabotage Nikki’s future happiness with Dillon, however, when she learns that Theo is still in town. How do you reconcile the sins of the past with your dreams for your future? Does forgiving others for childhood sins require that they remain part of your future? In addition to that, how can Nikki choose between Dillon and Theo without exposing the secrets she had prayed would stay buried forever? Will the people who taught her about how to forgive others be able to forgive her once those secrets are revealed?
Growing Love is book 2 of the Under the Garden Tree series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Feb 14, 2021
• ISBN: 9781716076152

Book preview

Chapter 1

Candy barked happily as Nikki stepped out of her car. Even though she refused to admit this to anyone, she loved that dog. Obviously, the feeling was mutual. Nikki was covered in wet, doggy kisses within minutes of her arrival in the garden.

As Dillon watched his dog greet Nikki, he couldn’t help but feel a tad bit jealous. Nikki would never let him shower her with love like that. Not that he wanted to. Dillon reminded himself that it was nothing more than a purely male reaction to any gorgeous female. It was not Dillon’s personal reaction to Nikki really. Just a guy thing.

Nikki had adopted Candy from the local animal shelter and gifted the mutt to Dillon. His spirits had been low when Tracy, the women he assumed would be his future wife and Nikki’s best friend, was in the hospital. The man had needed a pick-me-up. They had all needed something cheerful as they waited for Tracy to come out of the coma. Candy had definitely put a smile on Dillon’s face. The only problem was that now it was Nikki who put a spring in Candy’s step.

She’s always overjoyed to see you, Dillon stated the obvious. Do you rub hamburger meat on your face before you come to visit?

Nikki laughed with joy. No. She just knows who loves her best. Don’t you, Girl?

Dillon picked up his spade and continued working around the tomatoes. Dillon had moved to Bowerstown last spring. He had been hired by the Chamber of Commerce to implement and oversee a gardening project. The project was designed to teach elementary school children how to grow their own food and how to care for a garden. The long-term goals also included teaching children how to maintain something over a longer period of time than the lifespan of a social media post.

That was how Dillon met Tracy. It all seemed long ago, now. Tracy worked for the Bowerstown Chamber of Commerce and had been assigned as their lead liaison to the garden project. Tracy’s duties included coordinating the efforts of the school district, teachers, Chamber members, and, of course, Dillon. For Dillon, it was love at first sight. For Tracy, it was a business lunch. Except that…

That was all water under the bridge now. These days, Tracy was busy planning her wedding to Paul while Dillon was aerating the soil around the tomato plants. Alone. Unless his traitorous dog, Candy, counted.

Nikki, Tracy’s best friend, had somehow become friends with Dillon while Tracy was in the hospital. She was still not entirely sure how that had happened. As his friend, she could sense that something was bothering him today. Nikki continued to pet Candy as she watched Dillon poke the dirt. She debated about how to approach the situation. Then she decided to dive in. Between Nikki and Dillon, their mantra had always been, The truth always works. Let’s see if that held up today.

What gives, Digger? Nikki prodded gently. You look sad today.

Dillon was on his knees in front of the tomato plant with his back to Nikki. How could she tell he was sad without even seeing his face?

How could a man possibly be sad when he is outside, watching the efforts of his labor grow in the sunshine, while spending time with a mangy mutt and Candy?

You think you are so funny! Nikki playfully dug her knee into his back. Come on, Digger. Take a break. I brought some water infused with raspberries. I see you already have the blanket spread out under the tree. You can sulk there while you tell me all about it.

Nikki made her way to the blanket with Candy fast on her heels. She knew without a doubt that Dillon would join her soon. Men liked to think they were all tough and macho, but the truth was they liked to be coddled as much as the next person.

As usual, Candy decided that the entire blanket was hers and hers alone. She was a fairly large dog, but certainly not as large as the blanket. Nikki laughed at the mutt and shoved her toward the middle. Surely the dog could share a few inches for the humans and still be comfortable.

Dillon approached the shade of the tree to find Candy attempting to reclaim her blanket territory from Nikki. Dillon watched and waited until they were settled.

I guess now I have to decide if I’m going to sit on the dog or sit on your lap. Can you get her to move over and let me sit down, too?

She’s your dog, Digger, Nikki smirked. You are going to have to teach her how to respect you. I thought you liked dogs?

Nikki tugged gently on Candy’s collar. The dog immediately moved over and snuggled against Nikki’s leg. This left plenty of room for Dillon to join them on the blanket. Nikki didn’t have to say a word. One gentle tug and she was obeyed.

How do you do that? I have tried every trick in the dog training manual, and she still acts like I’m invisible to her, Dillon whined.

Maybe it’s a girl thing. I guess I should have adopted a male dog for you. But she was just too stinkin’ cute to not bring home. Isn’t that right, you beautiful girl? Nikki made lovey eyes at Candy. Candy appeared to be in heaven by the nearness of Nikki.

I still think you rub hamburger meat on your face. That’s the only thing I haven’t tried yet. Dillon settled himself on the blanket and grabbed a water from the cooler.

Are you happy with the progress of the plants? Nikki decided for neutral conversation until Dillon was ready to talk about the real source of his foul mood.

Dillon took a long swig from the water bottle. Yes, I am. I’m even more excited about the reaction from the kids. Almost all of them are excited about coming here and learning about plants and foods. There are a few hold-outs, but peer pressure is taking care of that on its own. It’s much easier to teach kids who are excited about what they are learning.

Can I ask you something? This idea wasn’t firmly developed in her mind yet, but Nikki decided another opinion could not hurt.

Dillon turned to look at her and tried to assess her mood. It was unusual for Nikki to hesitate instead of unceremoniously blurting out whatever was in her head. This uncertainty was new for Nikki.

Only if I already know the answer, Dillon reminded her. You know I don’t like to be asked things that don’t make me look radically intelligent.

Sometimes you are such a guy, Nikki sneered.

You say that like it’s a horrible thing, Dillon chuckled and put the empty water bottle back in the cooler. Now ask me your question.

Nikki took a minute to pet the dog. This question was serious to her. She wanted to let the laughter pass before asking.

I’ve been thinking … Nikki started.

Dillon had a quick retort on the tip of his tongue but decided to swallow it. Something serious was on Nikki’s mind. Since he was trying to turn over a new leaf in his relationships, that implied that new behaviors had to be implemented. Gone were the days of turning everything into a joke and avoiding serious conversation at all cost.

On second thought, Nikki continued. I want to talk about what is making you gloomy today. Your comment about the excitement of the kids got me distracted. We came to this dog-covered blanket to knock you out of your funk. Let’s do that first.

How do you know I’m in a funk? You’ve only been here ten minutes. Dillon was curious as well as wanting to dodge the topic.

Am I wrong? Nikki demanded.

Answer the question and stop avoiding the topic at hand. Dillon gave her a look like she often gives him when he is sidestepping something.

The topic at hand, Nikki stated in an aloof tone of voice, "is why you are in a funk, not how I knew it."

Dillon dug a nail file out of his pocket and focused on digging dirt from his finger nails. He thought he knew Nikki fairly well. Even so, he had still not been able to figure out what sort of magician she was to be able to know his moods and control his dog without a word leaving her mouth. He knew her well enough, however, to know that she would not let him leave this blanket without spilling the beans. He might as well get it over with and tell her.

Have you talked to Tracy lately about the wedding plans? Dillon asked in a voice he believed was casual… and unrelated to his current mood.

Nikki wanted to wrap him up in a hug and pat all the worry out of him on the spot.

Dillon, Nikki murmured in a quiet and compassionate voice. You will find a wife. One day you will look back and thank God that you did not marry Tracy. If you had married her, you would have missed your future with the real love of your life. All because God has not introduced you to her yet does not mean that she is not out there somewhere.

Once again, Dillon could not figure out how she was able to discern his actual worries from that one simple sentence.

Seriously, Nikki, how do you read my mind?

It’s a gift. Nikki briefly laid her hand on his cheek in a gesture that might have been intimate if they were more than platonic friends.

When Tracy told me in the hospital that she had decided to marry Paul, I honestly felt that it was the right decision for all of us. I was genuinely happy for her and Paul. I don’t understand how I could have felt that way then and feel completely the opposite now that the wedding is getting closer.

Do you think that you were secretly hoping she would change her mind before the wedding? Nikki had wondered the same thing a few times.

I don’t know. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I think I was hoping that I would have met the love of my life by now. For the first time, I’m ready to settle down and buy a baby stroller. When I met Tracy, it seemed as if all the pieces were falling into place. Then the accident impacted my life’s protectory more than anyone else’s … in the long run I mean, Dillon sighed. Now I don’t know where my life is going. I don’t like standing still.

I’m sure that Amy would be willing to help you shop for baby strollers, Nikki suggested.

Dillon raised his eyebrows but kept his mouth shut.

Chapter 2

Amy practically ran into Tracy’s office. Why was this so exciting to her? It was just an office, for heaven sakes. It’s not as if she were going to visit the queen.

She was picking up a member of her tribe for lunch. Her tribe! Amy still could not get over the fact that she now belonged to a tribe. She had girl friends who were not related to her by blood. Amy loved her sister, Brenda, and they were close. This, however, was different. This was Tracy and Nikki. And now they were her friends. Tracy had declared it to be so, and no one had dared to challenge her.

Tracy was on the phone when Amy arrived. Tracy held up a finger indicating for her to wait, so Amy settled into the chair opposite Tracy’s desk. Amy took a moment to observe this part of Tracy’s world. One day, she dreamed, her picture would be on Tracy’s desk right beside the picture of her with Paul. Nikki would probably be in the picture, too, but that didn’t bother Amy. The idea of it made Amy giddy. To the best of her knowledge, she had never been in anyone’s desk picture before.

Tracy hung up the phone and smiled, What has you happy today? You’re practically glowing!

Nothing special. Amy attempted to restrain her enthusiasm, but it was not easy.

Well, I think it is very special to have lunch with girlfriends. Are you ready to go?

Yes! Amy practically jumped out of the chair.

Tracy laughed. Hopefully she would not ruin the rest of Amy’s day. She had invited Amy to lunch so that she could discuss something specific, something that Tracy was fairly certain would devastate Amy. Still, it had to be done. With any luck, Amy would understand and not be wounded by Tracy’s decision. She would know soon enough.

Amy drove but followed Tracy’s directions to the restaurant. Tracy told her it was a new place. Frankly, they could have eaten in a ditch, and Amy would have been overjoyed just to be seen in public with Tracy. Amy had assisted Tracy with her therapy for her broken ankle after her car accident. That was in private, however. Being seen in public with Tracy was another thing all together.

Once they were seated and had ordered their food, Amy scanned the restaurant. She was disappointed. She didn’t see anyone she knew. There was no one who would notice that she was with Tracy Poplar. Amy consoled herself with the idea that it was because Tracy wanted to talk to her about something very private, very confidential, and didn’t want an audience to say it. That had to be the reason.

The other reason why Amy was disappointed was because Tracy was acting serious and formal. There was something about her demeanor that did not suggest best friends at lunch. It was more like you are fired vibes coming from Tracy’s side of the table.

How is your ankle feeling? Amy settled for safe ground. Can you feel the change in the weather in the joint? Some people say they can feel the change in barometric pressure after breaking a bone so close to the joint like you did. I always wondered if that was true or not. I’ve never broken a bone, so I don’t have any first-hand experience with that.

Stop babbling, Amy. You’re babbling.

Tracy laughed with ease. Yes, some days I can feel the change coming. It’s not a painful feeling though, which is a relief. It just feels tight. Tight is a fitting way to describe it, I suppose.

Hopefully, that won’t last forever. Or it might be a nice thing for it to last forever. Then you could always have a way to plan around the weather for outdoor events. Are you planning to have an outdoor wedding?

Amy was anxious to talk about Tracy’s wedding. She wanted to be a bridesmaid very badly, but Tracy had not asked her yet. Amy knew without a doubt that Nikki would be the maid of honor, so that position was out of the question for Amy to fill. Plus, Amy and Tracy had not been friends for all that long. It’s one thing for Tracy to add a member to her tribe without much thought, but selecting her maid of honor was more serious. Still, Amy was sure she would be a bridesmaid.

It’s funny. Tracy slowly took a sip of water and carefully returned the glass to its coaster. I always anticipated that it would be exciting to plan my wedding. Picking out the flowers, creating the perfect menu, and all the other details that go into such a special day.

You make it sound like you are not enjoying it. Isn’t it everything you dreamed it would be? Amy was shocked.

No. Quite frankly, it is not. Some parts of it have become a royal pain the t-bone.

I’ve never heard that expression before. Amy wasn’t sure what to say next. This is not at all the way she had dreamed this conversation would go.

Tracy laughed, It’s something Nikki and I say so that we don’t have to swear like sailors on shore leave.

Oh, Amy sighed. Apparently, she had a new tribal language to learn. Where could she buy that textbook to study?

The waitress arrived with their food, and Amy was concerned that the conversation would shift away from wedding talk. Amy was so convinced that Tracy was going to ask her to be a bridesmaid that she did not want to risk a shift in the conversation just because of food.

After the waitress left, Amy was determined to keep Tracy focused.

At least one thing about the wedding is easy to do … selecting your bridesmaids. Amy prayed this was not too forward and waited for Tracy to respond.

Amy waited as Tracy picked at her food. Tracy poured the salad dressing with more concentration than Amy felt the task deserved. She wondered if this was how Tracy remained thin and fit, being this focused on her food. Amy tried not to read too much into her friend’s silence, but she was anxious to continue the conversation. Amy longed to be a bridesmaid. She had never had a close female friend before, and her only sister, Brenda, was not married.

Tracy finally put her salad dressing decanter down and mumbled, Actually, Amy, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.

Amy noticed Tracy fidgeting uncomfortably. It didn’t make sense that Tracy would be nervous about asking such a simple question. Surely, Tracy knew that Amy would say yes. How could Tracy not know that?

Amy waited.

You would think that selecting bridesmaids would be the easiest thing in the world. I always assumed I knew exactly who they would be. But now…. Tracy concentrated on repositioning the napkin on her lap.

What’s the problem, Tracy? Amy started to sweat.

Tracy cleared her throat and decided to take the plunge. There was no easy way to say this. Especially to Amy, who was very eager to be included.

Nikki will be my maid of honor, and I have decided to not have any other bridesmaids. Just Nikki.

Amy was sure she had stopped breathing. She would not have been surprised to learn that her heart had actually skipped a beat.

Not even me? Amy could not help herself. The disappointment was huge.

Tracy smiled the saddest smile and pouted, I’m sorry, Amy. I know you are disappointed. I am, too.

Then make me a bridesmaid. It was Tracy’s wedding after all. She could do whatever she wanted. Apparently, Tracy didn’t want to. That stung more than Amy wanted to admit, even to herself.

Amy tried to eat her food but couldn’t. When Amy put down her fork in defeat, Tracy tried to explain.

I really want a small wedding. That, however, quickly became impossible since Paul’s parents know everyone from here to kingdom come. It feels like if I add too many bridesmaids on top of all those guests, my dream of an intimate wedding disappears.

Amy was not comforted.

Then I started looking at the list of friends I wanted to be bridesmaids, and it was so long. When I tried to skim it down to something more manageable, I could hear the disappointment of every friend I eliminated. There was no one I could remove without hurting their feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone. How do I explain how I chose one friend over the other?

Tracy assessed Amy’s mood while the waitress refilled their water glasses. This was not going well. Tracy sincerely wanted this lunch to end with Amy being comfortable with her decision.

After the waitress left, Amy tried to look at Tracy but could not do it. She was wounded. There was no pretending otherwise.

Amy, I’m sorry. I agonized over the decision for days. Finally, Paul suggested that to keep things simple, we limit our bridal party to one couple. So that is what we are going to do. Maid of honor and best man. Small and intimate. Like I always dreamed my wedding would be.

Amy continued to sit as quietly as a cat about to pounce on a mouse. Tracy searched for the words to heal her agony, but nothing came to mind.

Finally, Tracy reached her limit with Amy’s reaction. The people involved in her wedding should be excited about the day for Tracy and Paul, not for themselves. Amy was new at the whole idea of having girlfriends. Perhaps it was time for Tracy to teach her how it was done.

Amy, remember when I was in a coma and everyone talked about how I was a people pleaser? Remember how some people worried that I would decide on my husband based on what everyone else wanted from me?

Amy nodded but was still unable to get a word past the lump in her throat.

"Well, I’m desperately trying to learn how to make myself happy. For the first time in my life, I’m making decisions based on what I want my life to be. I want an intimate wedding, Amy, so that is what I am going to have. If you cannot support that decision, if your disappointment about not wearing an expensive dress you will never wear again is more important to you than my happiness on my wedding day, then I’m sorry. I want people involved in my day that are focused on my pleasure. One day of my life … my wedding day… is going to be about making myself happy and not everyone else. If you cannot understand that, then you can be as disappointed as you want. That’s your choice."

Amy decided it was time to put on her big girl panties and speak.

I have to be honest. I am extremely disappointed.

Tracy nodded and gave her a gloomy smile that did not reach her eyes. Amy did get points in Tracy’s mind for being honest and admitting that much.

I have never been married, so I don’t know what it's like to plan a wedding. I’ve never had many girlfriends. Everyone I know could fit in the restroom of this place and still have room to move around.

Amy sipped her water and tried to breathe. By the time we finish dessert, I’ll be past my disappointment and be happy for you. OK?

It’s a deal, Tracy agreed. She did not normally eat dessert at lunch. Today would have to be an exception. It was one small thing that she could give her friend.

Amy, on the other hand, wondered if she could order two.

Chapter 3

Brenda was dying to hear every juicy detail. She was also optimistic that her unspoken prediction would not come true. Amy had such high hopes about her new friendship with Tracy and Nikki. Brenda’s concern was that it was all temporary and inconsequential to Tracy.

Amy drove Tracy back to her office and decided to called Brenda from the car. She was not convinced that she should, however. Amy was not prepared to hear Brenda say, I told you so. Tracy said she was not a bridesmaid. That was not the same thing as being kicked out of the tribe. Amy was still part of the tribe.

When Brenda answered the phone, she immediately asked, What color are the bridesmaid dresses?

Since I’m not going to be a bridesmaid, I didn’t think to ask. Amy allowed her anger to blast through the phone.

Amy heard Brenda’s heavy sigh and pleaded, Don’t say it, Brenda. Please don’t say it right now.

I’m sorry, Amy. Brenda tried to sound comforting. I know how much you wanted this.

Yeah, well, I guess the only time you get what you want is when you want what others are willing to give you.

Well, you wanted to be a member of their tribe, and they gave you that, Brenda pointed out.

Don’t you think we should change the name and not use the word ‘tribe’ anymore? Amy asked.

Why?

"I don’t know. It seems to me that too many people could be offended by that word. I am sure Tracy would not want to offend anyone. I think we need to come up with another