On Rabbits, Holes, and Shivs

By David Anthony Brown

In Albion's Trial—an MMO game where players plug their brains directly into the server—members of the Rabid Squirrels Guild work together as friends to find the best loot, defeat the toughest monsters, and brave the darkest dungeons.

 

Ormusen and Kalati hunt the Dire White Rabbit. The pesky, rare monster runs... but what awaits down the bunny hole? Adventure, absurd encounters, and sexual innuendo abound as the two friends dive head first into trouble!

 

If you enjoy gamer lit with a heavy dose of naughty humor, be sure to read On Rabbits, Holes, and Shivs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hermit Muse Publishing
• Release date: Mar 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393182832

Book preview

1

The jungle was a cool place. Not only was it big and shady, and full of fun monsters Ormusen could one-shot from the shrubbery. The Varanga Jungle had it’s surprises, too.

Giant anacondas. Dire rats. Werespiders. Lizardmen.

Also, the Varanga lacked the extreme humidity of a real jungle. Ormusen was glad to not need to pull his undies out of his crack every few seconds. Sure, he had to carry water and food with him, but the minus five percent dehydration penalty was more of an annoyance than a game breaker.

The place stank like a real jungle though. Tree rot and undergrowth. Decaying animals. Giant mushrooms.

Okay, Ormusen wasn’t sure what a giant mushroom really smelled like, but the bitter skunk odor was a nice touch, if a tad overdone. The game designers had outdone themselves with the Varanga.

He crouched low to the ground, pulling one side of his handlebar mustache, and examined the footprints. A small set of feet, widely spaced apart. His tracking skill told him small mammal, maybe fox. Not much to go on, especially since he hadn’t put as many points in tracking as he should have.

But even so, it was plain as the yellow sun above the canopy that there were no steel-plated bootprints anywhere nearby.

Ormusen just had to find Kalati. He had whispered to her that he was coming to find her, and asked permission to enter her instance. She had granted it, with nothing more than a smiley emoticon.

Kalati enjoyed killing the Varanga monsters alone, for reasons unknown to Ormusen. He got lost regularly here, though his hunter skills came in handy when the entire group depended on him, oddly enough.

The nearby bushes moved, the ferns rustling and waving as if blown from a gust of wind. The jungle didn’t have any wind, as evidenced by the sweat on his brow (again, thankfully not on other places).

Ormusen raised his rifle, clicking a shell into place. He checked his belt, too, feeling the smooth ivory handle of his dagger. There was only one thing he disliked about this region.