Funny Stories About Pain

By Audenzia

The beautiful Marie de Salle drinks, smokes, and engages in sadomasochism to exorcise the demons of her past. She dates the immature TJ because he'll never hurt her like her father did, but leaves him for the as-troubled-as-she-is Drew because Drew is willing to play the sadist to her masochist. This is a dark, depraved, story that answers the question of "What happens when two fucked up people fall in love with each other?" Graphic imagery of an interracial heterosexual couple engaging in sadomasochism. Includes descriptions of vagainal, oral, and anal sex. Contains scenes of sexual humiliation. For grown and sexy readers 18+

• Language: English
• Publisher: Audenzia
• Release date: Feb 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9780463386118

Audenzia

Audenzia means “one who is fearless, one who dares”. Where I come from, it’s still taboo for a woman to enjoy sex, still taboo for a woman to speak freely about her desires. I was born somebody else, but I became Audenzia, daring and fearless, when I decided to own my sexuality, enjoy my sex life, and speak openly about my desires.I'm Sicilian by birth but currently live in New York City. I'm bisexual. I first wrote naughty, fetishy stories to entertain friends and amuse myself at school. By day, I lead a boring existence as a translator, but by night, I'm here to entertain you with sexually charged stories. My stories will feature:-straight girls;-bisexual women;-lesbians;-non-white characters;-plus-size/ women;-gender non-conforming women;-transwomen.-exotic flavors of womanhood

Book preview

Funny Stories About Pain

By Audenzia

Copyright ©️ Audenzia, 2021

Cover Design by Audenzia

All rights reserved. Neither this book nor any portion thereof may be

reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express consent

of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotation in a book review.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names,

characters, businesses, places, events, & incidents in the book are either

the product of the author’s imagination or are being used in a fictitious

manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual

Events, is purely coincidental.

New in Town(Drew)

Good evening, everybody, I said, standing at the front of the small Brooklyn coffee house, my name is Drew and I’m new in town. I’m originally from a place called Colorado Springs...does anybody in here know where that is.... Of course not, you’re a bunch of Brooklyn hipsters who’ve probably never been west of New Jersey, am I right? The small crowd laughed a little. The fact that I’m new in town isn’t the funny part, I insisted, the funny part is the more I stay here, and I’ve been here six months...the more I stay here, the more I realize I probably don’t belong in this city. Look at me, I gestured to myself, I’m a six-foot-two white guy. Out in Colorado, I look like everybody else. Here I look like a cop, I paused as they started to warm up to me and laugh a little more, I’ve been living in Harlem and I look like a white racist cop. D’you know how difficult it is to try to buy drugs from black drug dealers in Harlem when you look like the racist white cop that killed their friends? Now they roared with laughter. Finally. So, I don’t fit in uptown. I don’t fit in with the stock brokers and hedge fund masters of the fuckin’ universe in midtown and downtown. I’m too old to fit in with the hipsters out here in Park Slope. No offense, I said, after a pause, I don’t fit in with the Italians and the Albanians in their Cavaricci jeans and gelled hair. Now they were roaring with laughter. And, I said, if that’s not enough, I got evicted from my sublet. A small matter of me not having rent money in a timely manner. I got kicked out tonight, as they kept laughing, so I’m new in town, I don’t belong here, and I’m homeless. But despite all that, I’m happy my pain is entertaining all of you, I looked at TJ over all their heads, he gave me the light, did you just light me, Teej? I saw him nod, so I said, anyways like I said, my name is Drew, and even though I feel like an alien in this neighborhood, you guys’ve been great tonight, and I’m happy to be here with all of you.

There were three other people on after me, and at the end of the show I helped TJ break down the room.

So, are you really lookin for a place to stay? he asked me. I nodded. Then why don’t you come crash out with me, he said, my guest, not my tenant.

I’m straight, man, I said, no offense.

Me too, he said, my girlfriend and I have a two bedroom. You gotta go somewhere until you find another situation.

Seriously? He nodded. Thanks, man, I promise you I won’t be in your spare room forever.

It’s cool, he said, my girl’s a great cook, she keeps the place immaculate.

We got on the R train and rode it out to Bay Ridge, where TJ lives. His place is a fifth-floor walkup on Shore