PopUpPurge™ Release Midlife Clutter & Reclaim Inner Clarity

By Mary Vraa

When you reach the midlife milestone, the kids are grown and on their own. Now you can refocus on where you want to be ... but where is that? Not quite sure?  

Uncover your new direction by harnessing the power of physical decluttering. When you accept that clutter is not just in your closet, you'll realize that it's really the emotions wrapped around your stuff that has you stuck! 

 

The PopUpPurge™ is a soulful guide for the modern midlife woman to retain only what matters now. The actual decluttering technique is fairly basic. Don't expect a magic number of how much to keep or a specific system for how to store things. Instead, it delivers a uniquely powerful approach devoted to releasing the outdated mindset holding you in place. As you sort through your Past to streamline your Present, you will shift into your Future with confidence and clarity! 

 

Decluttering the home is the author's metaphor for figuring out what has us stalled on the sidelines. Written with compassion, wisdom, and light humor, this gem of a book is sweetly sprinkled with images of diverse women and insightful quotes for living lighter with newfound purpose!
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Downsize365
• Release date: Nov 19, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098337063

Book preview

Introduction

I believe we learn and do best with small chunks of information. This is why I introduce decluttering concepts one short chapter at a time. You can digest the chapter’s takeaway and get comfortable with it before moving on. Once you’ve got the basic decluttering steps down, you can get started right away. Then check back in when you get stuck. The tiny lessons along the way provide insights into what slows you down so you can resume your decluttering journey with confidence and clarity.

This is also why we begin with releasing the easy-to-identify clutter. These are things you can look at and decide, on the spot, whether they stay or go. Save the stuff laden with emotional attachments for later in the process. Focus on small areas instead of entire rooms to gain an immediate sense of accomplishment. Now you’ll feel primed to tackle more challenging stuff as you see your space open up.

The PopUpPurge™ Method will then take you behind the scenes to uncover why you have the things you do. It’s never just about the things themselves; it’s about the emotions we’ve wrapped around our things. That’s what makes decluttering difficult! You will contemplate and deconstruct the beliefs that hold you in place with stuff that no longer (or sometimes never) serves you well.

Think about it this way: To someone else, hanging on to a certain item can appear irrational. To you, it makes perfect sense. But how we feel about things can always be ripe for a little shaking up! So, we pause and reflect—we laugh, we cry, or both. We release what we previously didn’t imagine we could. And then, we move on, satisfyingly lighter. Just like our intellect, our emotional mindset also matures with age. Now we are able to accept that what mattered ten, twenty, or even thirty or more years ago may no longer be relevant today.

Throughout your decluttering journey, you’ll pause to capture your thoughts and feelings as you face the stuff that you’ve amassed. Whether it’s a little voice in your head or certain feelings in your heart, getting these out of your body and onto paper does wonders for a mindset reset! If you’ve ever phoned a friend (and who hasn’t?) when you’ve been in crisis mode, this is the same concept, except this time, it’s just you on you … and for your eyes only.

You already know deep down what should stay and what should go. You’re just giving your heart an opportunity to align with your head. The more you practice this freestyle writing, the more clarity you will achieve with decluttering decisions. You will marvel at your newfound confidence.

Identity, Aspiration, Sentiment, and Legacy: these are the four pillars, or value drivers, that determine what will stay and what will go. How we view ourselves, where we want to be, what we treasure, and how we want to be remembered … each one of these factors is examined for a midlife refresh of what matters now. In turn, we reassess what’s in the house.

Then we dive deeper into eight specific emotions that often reinforce the grip on our belongings. Guilt, shame, regret and disappointment, anger and resentment, worry and perfectionism. These are the customary inner critics that influence our decisions. We don’t always recognize these dubious companions because they’ve hung around for so long. By facing them squarely now, we can say good-bye to these outdated mindsets and welcome a new direction with our life path.

Decluttering is a remarkable vehicle for adapting to life’s changes. You can resist the changes that come with the passage of time, but you can’t stop them from happening. So why not embrace what life brings? Appreciate how your life has brought you to this moment. Release what is no longer needed. Then, position yourself for something wonderful to unfold!

If you commit to following along, I am committed to navigating this journey with you!

Welcome to uncovering a better you! I’m so glad you’re here!

Ch. 1: Why Midlife Decluttering?

When you’re preparing to dive into the next chapter of your life, decluttering your home is a fabulous place to start paving the way. After all, when you get to the midlife milestone, who’s still in the house has changed. But there’s usually way too much stuff remaining that is no longer relevant.

Yet, when you start to dig in, oh my! Here come the memories … the feelings … and you get stuck. Do any of these decluttering buts sound familiar?

Be assured you are not alone with these thoughts! Everything you see and touch in your home has meaning for you. Deciding what to keep and what to let go of from a well-lived life can feel overwhelming. If you have the space to hang on to things, it’s often easier to default to, I’ll do this another day.

But when will that day come? For many, it comes much later in life and with a very short deadline. I know this firsthand. When I founded a small business helping Seniors downsize and transition to an older adult community, I was struck with the universal difficulty of letting things go. I saw folks start with the best of intentions and then slip into indecision and sadness. Seeing this time and time again was my light bulb moment—we need to start the process sooner! And this was when I shifted my focus from Seniors to Midlife Women.

When you’re over 40, you’ve likely experienced one or more of the following life events:

•Your kids are grown and (almost) on their own.

•There was a change in a relationship due to death, divorce, or remarriage.

•There was a serious health issue.

•There was a shift in your career due to an industry contraction or retirement.

Regardless whether the change is welcome or not, it’s still an adjustment to head in a new direction. One chapter has ended and it’s time to write a new one. And when that happens, letting go of what you won’t need or use anymore makes sense. There’s stale, heavy energy associated with excess clutter. Even if it’s hidden in drawers, cabinets, or behind closed doors, it permeates our lives. It holds us in place or even in the past. Releasing clutter is what allows us to make space for fresh, light energy … to invite the possibilities that are ahead of us. Why not embrace what will lift us up?

What’s the worst that can happen when you don’t declutter now? You may need to do it under duress, when you can no longer live independently. Your adult children or hired professionals may need to do it for you. Your personal belongings may not be distributed as you would envision. In other words, you won’t have control over what happens. Who doesn’t want to be in charge of their own narrative?

So, let’s start now! It’s powerful how an activity as simple as physical decluttering will provide mental and emotional uncluttering as well. The reason is this: It’s an opportunity to review where you’ve been, what has mattered to you, and who has figured largely in your life. It helps reframe where you want to head next. This is your opportunity to decide what matters now.

In Sweden, decluttering is a national practice known as döstädning or death clearing. Trust me, it’s not as morbid as it sounds! On the contrary, it’s a very mindful and proactive daily practice adopted when one turns fifty. In fact, it’s not just for the individual’s benefit. It’s also a process that will respectfully free up your grieving family and friends from having to figure out what to do with your stuff when you’re gone. After all, no one possibly wants or needs all of your stuff. And some of your things are deeply private and for your eyes only, right? So, if you agree with these principles, then midlife decluttering is your ticket to clarity in your next life chapter and beyond!

Spoiler alert: there is no magical method to getting it done. The key to decluttering is keeping the process short and simple. Do it regularly. Do it often. You will need to identify your unique reasons for why you’re doing it, and you will also need to acknowledge why you have clung to the things you own. Without honest self-reflection, it’s simply not going to get done. But know that I’m going to break it down into a sequence of steps to get you on your way, and when you get stalled, I’ll talk you through how to get unstuck. You will not be alone! Yet, at any time, if you would prefer one-on-one support, just reach out to me for my coaching services: http://www.shiftyourstories.com/popuppurge/. I’m here for you!

Shall we begin?

Let’s start with a definition. Turn the page!

Ch. 2: What Is Clutter?

This is critical to know! How will you know what to purge if you’re uncertain what clutter means?

To be clear, everyone has different ideas about what items to keep or how many duplicates make sense. We are all unique! Certainly, use your heart with your space-clearing decisions, but temper that with your head … with being realistic and honest with yourself. And don’t forget to include personal safety in your sorting decisions. For example, if you can’t remove things from a closet or shelf without things tipping over or falling on top of you, I’d say that’s too much stuff in your space!

Here’s a basic definition that encompasses all of these points:

Clutter is anything you don’t need, use, or want anymore.

— Mary V

Let’s chew on this with some real-life examples:

✓It’s trash (broken, out-of-date, worn out, expired).

✓There is no room for it now (or in the space you’re moving to).

✓You never use it or look for it.

✓You don’t really like it.

✓It’s not your style.

✓It doesn’t flatter, fit, or feel good.

✓You have too many duplicates.

✓It was an impulse buy that is now just taking up space.

✓You’re keeping it for someday or just in case.