How to Teach Boys to be Fair to Girls: DEI Parent Guidebooks

By Trish Allison

All books in the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Parent Guidebooks series are written for parents (and caregivers) of elementary school kids. This guidebook focuses on gender equality for boys by providing practical ideas and instructions for teaching boys how to be fair to girls. You'll find step-by-step guidance for:  
 

- Explaining false gender stereotypes
- Teaching consent at his level so he remembers
- Nurturing his social skills
- Creating a gender-equal environment at home
- Learning how to talk so kids will listen

 

Please note: New children's books and (some) school curriculums about diversity and inclusion are appearing daily, which is fantastic news! But there's a gap that needs filling. To help kids really absorb the values they're learning, parents need practical ideas and instructions for incorporating those values into daily life at home.

• Language: English
• Publisher: DEI for Parents
• Release date: Apr 25, 2024
• ISBN: 9781393392033

Trish Allison

Raising two children in a non-traditional family gives Trish a unique perspective on the importance of teaching kids that everyone deserves kindness and respect.  She combined her experience as a parent, her career as a technical writer, countless hours of child psychology research, a degree in English from U.C. Berkeley, and a long-ignored passion to write something meaningful -- into a collection of DEI parenting guidebooks.  The goal of the guidebooks is not to brainwash children into a 'socialist' way of thinking, but to simply, honestly, and at an appropriate age-level, discuss and respond to children's curiosity about contemporary cultural issues.

Book preview

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Introduction

What we grow up learning and experiencing affects us our entire lives, impacts how we think and behave, and informs our ingrained decision-making skills.

If parents can raise an entire generation of boys with a more accurate understanding of girls' potential, we can really move the gender-justice needle in a lot of areas.

The most effective way to move the needle is to ensure that the values our boys are observing at home enforce concepts like equality and empathy, not outdated gender stereotypes.

The way you talk to your partner, divide family chores, even small things like who empties the dishwasher - make lasting impressions on how your boy considers gender justice.

It takes time to acquire a habit and parents need to be patient with their children. Keep repeating these habits every day so the child inculcates it more promptly. Sometimes, parents are not aware what habits they should teach their children.¹

Yes, he's influenced by his peers and his teachers at school, but ultimately, the values that he'll carry with him throughout his life are learned at home.

This guidebook provides practical tips for driving home (pun intended!) some of the pillars of a sustainable gender-equality foundation.

By nurturing his emotional IQ, fostering his empathy skills, explaining false gender stereotypes, providing him with positive male role models, and staying close to him as he grows, you can give your boy what he needs to become a confident, empathic person and an exceptional man.

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you're reading this guidebook:

The tips are written for parents of boys in elementary school but there’s a wide spectrum of maturity at every age. Some 6-year-olds are mature way beyond their years and some 10-year-olds are learning at a different pace than their peers. That said, feel free to adjust tip content to fit your boy's stage of development.

None of the steps are intended to be completed on a single, dictatorial occasion. The intent is to communicate the values described in this guidebook on a casual basis over a period of time.

Tips apply to all combinations of the modern family.

The chapters themselves are not organized in a straight line. That is, they're intended as a non-linear collection of building blocks to increase boys’ gender-equality awareness. For example, you might need to help your boy find a suitable male role model (later chapter) before you're ready to explain 'consent' (early chapter). That's perfectly fine. There's no prescribed order.

The content inside each chapter is linear; the step-by-step instructions are meant to be read in order. For example, when you're helping your boy understand consent, so he remembers, it's crucial that you review basic respect together before you discuss boundaries.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for raising equality-minded kids, this guidebook provides suggestions for scenarios that you can tailor to fit your own situation. The ultimate goal is to help you raise compassionate, non-biased, successful humans.

Many of the tips assume that you and your boy already share a fairly solid foundation of mutual communication. The tips are doable without this foundation, but they'll be much harder to implement successfully without it.

Kids learn much more efficiently when they feel like they've arrived at a concept on their own instead of believing something because that's what they've been told to believe. Help your boy reach his own conclusions by providing 'breadcrumbs' that lead him to discover values using his own reasoning skills. For example, instead of telling your boy he needs to be more sensitive to the needs of others, use the suggestions in the ‘How to Cultivate Empathy’ chapter to lead him toward ‘discovering’ his own empathy skills.

It's so important to praise kids when they do something positive. Be specific with your praise and look your boy in the eyes. Your