A Saucerful of Death: Starlight Cozy Mystery, #1

By Loretta Johns and Sarah Johns

Darren is a United States Space Explorer who finds himself entangled in more than just intergalactic intrigue when he falls for an interstellar beauty. Not only does he have to divert attention from a lovely alien, who hitched a ride on his return capsule, but when a fellow astronaut he clashed with is found dead, he must find a way to clear his own name. Adding to his troubles, he must constantly discourage his best friend and mission team member, Stephen, from aiding and abetting the lovely alien that has began to fall for Darren. 

 

Jeannie's certain that the universe means for her and Darren to be together, why else would her saucer crash into his ship and him take her into his house? He may be trying to fool himself with the fake girlfriend line he tells everyone else, but Jeannie knows better. Jeannie is determined to save him herself and get him to admit his love for her, and thanks to the wonders of TV, she is sure she knows just how to go about it!

 

A romantic cozy especially for lovers of vintage TV comedies!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pahoa Paradise
• Release date: Mar 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393248620

Book preview

1 Darren

I closed the door to General Peterson’s office behind me. Staff Sergeant Morris glanced up from her typing to give me a brief smile which I returned. I hurried out to report to Doctor Bombay as I’d been ordered. I needed to have a fresh blood test done to certify me ready for flight the day after tomorrow. It was admittedly late notice, but then nobody could have possibly have predicted the change of events that led me to this point. I had a feeling China wasn’t going to see things in quite so positive a light, though, when he heard if he hadn’t already.

Hey, I heard you got called into Peterson’s office. Everything okay? my best friend Stephen said, hurrying down the corridor towards me.

Yeah, yeah, I said, waving his concerns away with my hand. China got bumped from the flight and he’s bumped me up to take his place. I gotta go have my blood taken so they can finish signing off on my medical. They’re going to put a rush on it.

Roger whispered and fell into step beside me. Man, old China’s not going to like that. We both nodded to an airman hurrying past with an armful of files. I bet he'll think you dobbed him in to get his place. Everyone knows you wanted a seat on this mission to get your flight hours up for your application before the deadline.

Yeah, well, I have enough hours in but the more I have, especially as mission commander, the better it’ll look. I looked at him morosely. I didn’t, though. Do him in it, I mean. We turned a corner.

Yeah, I didn’t think you did. I mean, you said he wasn't actually drunk, not by the legal definition, anyway.

He wasn’t, I said, turning the handle to enter the clinic. He had several of those disposable breathalyzer kits in his glove box. He’d used one before getting into his car to make sure and then he blew one right there in front of me. He was well below the limit. He just can’t hold his beer, I guess. Anyways, he wrote me a check on the spot for my fence and promised to not drive himself ever again after having so much as one beer. I approached the receptionist desk. Hi, I smiled at the young man behind the desk. I was told to report here for some preflight blood work.

He glanced down at my name tag. Ah, yes, Major Nelson. I just had your file delivered to my desk not even half an hour ago. Dr. Bombay is expecting you. He picked up the phone to ring the doctor in his office.

My lips twitched. I couldn’t help it. Every time I heard the Colonel’s name, I pictured the comical witch doctor from the sixties TV show I watched on reruns as a kid. The real-life Dr. Bombay is nothing like his television counterpart. For one thing, he isn’t a witch. For another, he’s a thin man who has absolutely no sense of humor. He’s the chief medical officer for the program, though, so it’s best to keep him happy. This means answering his often inane questions and listening to him rhapsodize about the joys of camping and hiking far from civilization and agreeing that it sounds just the thing for a planned leave. He’ll then bug you until you either actually visit someplace he deems suitable for a respite or dodge him by hiding out elsewhere.

Ah, Major. You certainly made excellent time getting here. The Colonel came strolling in, a polite smile on his face. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a bad guy. He’s just annoying. Oh, Major Healey. I had no idea you were in need of medical services. Is everything alright?

Oh, I’m fine, Stephen reassured him, running a nervous hand down his tie. I, ah, just ran into Darren in the hallway and accompanied him here while we, ah, discussed the mission we’ll be flying.

Good, good. Have you given more thought about where you’ll be spending your leave once you’re home? If you don’t wish to go far since it’s only for a week, I can recommend a simply delightful spot that Amanda and I went to last year.

Oh, uh, no, I haven’t. In fact, Stephen said hurriedly, That was one of the things I wanted to talk to Darren about, seeing as he’ll have some downtime as well. I thought maybe we could do something fun together.

Well, if you’d like the name of the place, do drop on by. You know where my office is, and of course, the major and I happen to be close neighbors. It has lovely hiking trails and if you really insist on not being in a tent, there’s a campground nearby that rents out restored vintage Airstreams. I must admit I thought they were rather charming. We stayed in one as Amanda’s knee was bothering her and she insisted she couldn’t possibly cope with the tent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to give Major Nelson a check up and send him on to the phlebotomist.

I’ll wait for you, Stephen told me, tilting his head at some chairs in the waiting room area. I gotta run to the BX before I head home and pick up printer paper so I can print out copies of that report we’re doing. If you want you can come with, and we can grab some chow at the food court. The Taco Bell still has that Original Bell Burger offer on.

That sounded good to me. The deal was the original seventies Bell Burger and a soda for a dollar. Limit of one per customer. Add a taco for another dollar. You could only get the offer on base, too. Sounds good to me, I told him before following the Colonel into the exam room.

He shut the door behind him and waited for me to take my tie off and unbutton my shirt. I placed my cap on the end of the exam bed and slipped off my tie, neatly placing it with my cap. It only took a moment for me to unbutton my shirt, including my cuffs. That left me in my undershirt which he indicated I could leave on.

I can listen to your heart without you taking that off. This is only a formality anyway. You had your flight physical not even three months ago and passed with flying colors.

He listened to my heart, squeezed the life out my arm while checking my blood pressure, and palpated my abdomen. Then he shone a light in my eyes, looked in my ears, felt my neck, looked in my ears…well, you know the drill. He followed all of this up by having me slip off my shoes and stand on the scale for my height and weight.

As long as you don’t have any complaints to report, you’re clear to go, he said scribbling in my chart. Unless your blood work shows a sudden anomaly, that is. I'll be very surprised if it does.

Yeah, me too.

He continued. Get dressed and we’ll go on down the hall for your blood work.

Less than fifteen minutes later the rather attractive redheaded lab tech had sucked out three vials of my blood. Sorry about that, she said, fluttering her lashes at me. She was a cutie, all right. I knew better than to fish in those waters, though. She was enlisted.

It’s alright, you vampires can’t help yourselves, I joked back, rolling down my sleeve and refastening my cuff. Then I was off to rejoin Stephen. There was a retro dinner menu calling my name, and I was starving.

2 Darren

There was nothing like it. The Adventurer IV rocket was built to last and was a far cry from the Jupiter ones back in the early days of the space program. Oh, I still had to strap in and try to hold onto my breakfast while they lit a bomb under our ass to send us flying, but once the initial burn was done and we separated, it was smooth sailing. The Pegasus module would take us all the way to ISS Zeus, in high orbit around the Earth.

Then we’d refill the fuel tanks at the station, they’d give us a little shove to start us off, and we’d maneuver our way into the desired descent trajectory somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. Where we went next depended on who we were running supplies for and if we were bringing any personnel back. This time we were bringing up a load of mail. Not paper letters, mind. That would weigh a ton. No, they were all on memory sticks. Any craft projects and pictures sent to them by family or school kids were on them as well. Pictures they could print out, of course, or view in an electronic picture album or frame. Crafted items they could put in the 3D printer and select the materials to re-render them in, whether plastic, resin, or fiber. We weren’t bringing anyone down with us, so the U.S. Navy was picking us up and bringing us into Hawaii where we’d be debriefed at Wheeler before being released to take a mandatory two week leave.

I turned my head and grinned at my co-pilot, Stephen. Ready to go sip mai tais at the beach and have some Hula Pie at Duke’s?

Yeah, just first let’s get this Roman candle fired off and come back down after searching for alien babes in furry bikinis, he quipped back.

Adventurer IV, this is Mission Control, you’re on air.

Oops. We’d better tone it down a bit before we got too out of hand. There were school kids all over the world listening, not to mention everyone else who was space crazy. Things had died down some after we planted our flag on the moon and the space race ended with a handshake. Then ISS Zeus was conceived and built, followed by the Moon base. I call it a base but it’s really more of an astronomical outpost where Tesla Corp, Virgin, and a bunch of investors are building a high end casino and hotel complex, along with a hanger. Tesla and Virgin jointly licensed some space plane plan or other from back when NASA toyed with the idea of building a reusable space shuttle plane. They were going to build there on the moon and pick up people from a new commercial spaceport section being added onto Zeus. They were going to get them there using an Adventurer IV rocket, but the module the rich tourists would sit in would be more glitzy to look at on the inside and have a few more amenities. They were calling that module version the Unicorn.

Mission Control started us on flipping the various switches, and then it was countdown time. It still thrilled me to hear it, just as it had as a child sitting glued to the TV screen. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, ignition! A great roar and a mighty shake as we shot high into the air, pressing backwards into our gel filled Heinlein couches. Then, suddenly, it all fell away, and we weighed nothing. We waited for the AI to release our Pegasus from the Adventure where its twin would guide it back to its own splashdown recovery for refurbishment and reuse. Releasing module, came her voice.

Thanks, Sam, I told it.

Of course. Now burning for course correction. A pause. Correction achieved. You may now take off your restraints. Gravity plates are activated.

This was one of the cooler things they came up with. It wasn’t real gravity, of course. It was just where table tops and the decking was magnetized so the soles of our boots and log books and stuff could use surfaces as if there was light gravity. Unlike the space station, of course, which used spin to create actual gravity. Just don’t look up when you’re in the