An Exercise In Death: Starlight Cozy Mystery, #2

By Loretta Johns and Sarah Johns

After Darren begs Jeannie to try to fit in more with the locals, she's thrilled when a flyer comes though the door. She can make new friends, keep fit, and learn all about healthy meals at the same time! But when Dua Twist is found dead in the aerobics room, Jeannie realizes that not everyone is as friendly as they should be. The question is, can Jeannie figure out what Dua Twist did to make someone hate her so much? If she can figure it out, she might fit in better herself and catch a murderer. She's sure she can do it, after all, she's solved one case already! Besides, Amelia does it all the time in Ragamuffin and Mrs. Queen and Jeannie has never missed an episode.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pahoa Paradise
• Release date: Mar 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393197980

Book preview

1 Jeannie

I was pouting. I knew it and didn’t care. Darren had laughed at me before work this morning.

Look, you’ve come a long way since you first arrived, but you still don’t fit in. Once your interactions with me and Stephen level out a bit more, I’ll show you how to use the bus and you can start venturing out. You can go do a bit of shopping on your own then, hmm? Visit your pal at the Starlight and have coffee even. .But right now, dressed as you are, people will just look at you and wonder what the heck is up. Darren picked up his uniform cap. Okay, I’ve got to go now, or I’ll be late. Why don’t you go for a swim in the pool today? Then he opened the door and left, ending the conversation.

I looked at myself in the full-length mirror inside the walk-in wardrobe. There was absolutely nothing amiss with the way I was dressed. I’d copied one of Rhoda’s adorable outfits exactly, right down to the colorful scarf she’d worn on her head in yesterday’s episode. I sniffed. Obviously, Darren knew next to nothing about women’s fashion. Nothing at all. I looked great. Filled with a sense of satisfaction, I walked into the kitchen, deciding to indulge myself in one of the treats Stephen had brought over the evening before- a new coffee for me to try. So thoughtful! 

I opened the can and spooned the required amount into the machine then filled the reservoir before turning it onto brew. That done, I opened the cabinet and took out the largest mug I could find. I hoped it was large enough. Because you deserve a hefty cup, I reminded myself, remembering the magazine ad Stephen had carefully torn out from somewhere to go along with the gift. He’d suggested I frame it and hang it in the kitchen, along with other coffee ads as I found them. I thought that a marvelous idea and planned to carefully comb through magazines to look for more. Minutes later, I was sat outside by the pool, enjoying the sunshine while sipping my coffee, admiring the way the light sparkled on the swimming pool water.

I thought I saw you over there, called a masculine voice. 

I turned to find Arthur peering over the fence.

Oh, hi! I said, waving. 

My gardener planted up my flower beds yesterday in anticipation of tonight’s dinner party. There are a few trays leftover, would you like to have them? They’d look very pretty planted along the front, beside the path, he said.

Talk about brightening my day! Just the other morning during my after-breakfast TV break, I’d watched Sam plant flowers in her own garden, though hers had wilted. I’d have to be careful to not let the same thing happen. I’d love to have them! I chirped happily.

Good, good. Do you have a trowel and things?

Trowel?

Never mind, you can use a large metal spoon to dig the hole. How about I bring them on over and show you what to do?

Sure, I replied. Would you like a coffee.?

Perhaps afterwards, he said, running his eyes along my figure as I stood up. The poor dear was probably worried I’d mess up my nice outfit. I’ll meet you out front in a minute. I just need to fetch them.

I took another sip of my coffee. It was a shame really that I’d not have time to finish it. No matter. I’d made an entire pot. The burner would keep it warm until Arthur and I finished and then we could each have a cup. A pretty path and a lovely coffee morning, this was shaping up to be a great morning!

It’s a win/win, really, I told myself aloud, carrying my still quarter full mug into the kitchen and sitting it onto the counter. As I made my way to the front door, I saw Arthur pushing a bright green wheelbarrow filled with sunny orange and yellow blooms. I opened the door and exclaimed, Why those are lovely! What kind are they?

African marigolds, Arthur replied. They help repel pests as well as look pretty.

I beamed. Daren would love these. I was sure of it. And if I don’t fit in so well, why did Arthur think to include me in the anti-pest beautification ritual? Hmmm? 

I found a trowel by them, Arthur pointed out. The gardener must have forgotten it.

It still has the tags on it I said, touching the paper tag hanging from the hole in the handle by a piece of garden twine. You’ll make certain he gets this back after, won’t you?

Arthur blinked at me. Err, yes, of course. We’re just borrowing it.

Great. I’d hate for a hard-working person too be deprived of their tools of the trade. I was happy to discover Arthur felt the same way. He really was a nice man. Darren shouldn’t hold his preferring to eat lunch at hotels instead of cafes or at home against him. 

Arthur’s help turned out to be him sitting on the porch steps while I knelt down and dug holes with the hand trowel where he suggested. Once the flowers were planted, he handed me the plastic stakes that had been in the containers. These will tell you how much to water and feed them, he said. 

Yes! Now they won’t wilt like Sam’s!

Oh, did your friend lose her flowers?

Yes, but she fixed them.

Well, if you have any trouble, maybe you can ring her for some advice.

I looked at him, feeling puzzled. He obviously did not know who Sam was. I shrugged. Surely if I needed advice, my ‘how-to-make-my-home-and-garden-better’ magazine would have the answers, or I could ask Darren.

Coffee? I asked Arthur, not wishing to embarrass him by pointing out his ignorance.

I best not. It’s nearly lunch time now, he said, glancing at his watch, and I promised someone I’d meet them for lunch at the Doubletree. I need to go shower and change in a hurry if I’m to make it.

Oh. Well, more coffee for me! I said, hiding my disappointment at the loss of my social activity with cheer.

Best water these flowers first.

Yep! I answered, waving good-bye as I bounded up the steps. I had to find a watering can or something I could use as one.

2 Darren

Maybe Stephen was right, I thought to myself. At lunch, I’d told my best friend about that morning’s conversation with Jeannie. Instead of agreeing with me, he gave me it to me straight. Roger had whistled and looked at me askance before telling me I needed to let Jeannie find out some things on her own.

Odd fashioned dress sense aside, she isn’t too out there. One just has to look at the weirdos I have living next door for her to look normal. 

Now that I was back home, it was time to make things right with her. I went inside the house, stopping to stare at Jeannie sitting with her hands immersed into two bowls. Hey. You all right? I asked.

Jeannie turned a frustrated look towards me.

No, after planting those flowers out front, I washed the dirt off my hands and noticed my nails looked raggedy. So, I cleaned them using the nail brush in the bathroom, but my hands still didn’t look pretty. My nail polish looked even worse, in fact. You said I need to fit in more, so I don’t want to morph to fix them. Then I remembered what Madge said and we have Dawn dishwashing soap, so I-

I closed my eyes, knowing what would come next. Poured some into the bowls and soaked your hands. Only all you got was soapy hands.

Yes! Is this not the right kind of Dawn? she asked, crestfallen.

Um, how about this? I was talking to Stephen about you getting out more. So, how about I leave fifteen minutes early tomorrow and drop you off downtown. You can see if a manicure place has a walk-in appointment available, get your hair done, have some lunch, maybe buy yourself an outfit. I’ll give you my card and call my bank to let them know it’s okay. I’ll even give you a quarter so you can call my office when you’re all done, and I’ll come pick you up.

Jeannie jumped up, nearly dumping over both bowls. Yes! That’s wonderful! she cried, flinging her arms around my neck.

Careful, you’re getting us both super soapy.

She let me go, looking stricken. Oh! Sorry. Her face brightened once more. Did you see the flowers I planted out font?

Why don’t you go rinse the soap off your hands, and you can tell me all about it while we make dinner. I took out some pork chops to defrost last night.

I saw them in the bottom of the refrigerator, Jeannie said. I left them there, thinking you must have taken them out of the freezer on purpose.

I did. I’m going to show you how to make breaded pork chops and stuffing. You can pick whatever vegetable you want to go with it.

"Too bad we don’t have any Veg-All. Then we could have all of the best kinds at once without any fuss or work, and it only takes nineteen seconds to serve.

I closed his eyes briefly. No way could I let Jeannie loose in a grocery store to do our main food shop any time soon. She’d buy whatever she’d seen ads for, and who knew if any of it would go together to make an actual meal.

Well, we don’t. How about you look in the freezer? I suggested.

Jeannie ran into the kitchen, eager to rinse the dish soap off of her hands. I heard the faucet run, then stop, followed by the sound of the freezer being opened.

I’ll just go change out of my uniform while you decide, I called out to her, peering out through the blinds to look at the flowers I’d failed to notice. Those look nice out there. I’ll stop at Home and Garden Friday after work and pick up some edging and mulch to finish it off.

Okay! she called back cheerily.

I smiled as I removed my jacket and began to unbutton my shirt. Jeannie really was a sweet girl.

If only she were human, I mused, and not for the first time.

Lately the thought had been crossing my mind more and more. I emptied my trouser pockets, placing my wallet and keys on the nightstand on my side of the bed. No way did I want to have replace my ID card again like I had to just last week after Jeannie put my wallet through the wash.

I can’t make her human, though. I can, however, make her appear to be. To be an American even. All I have to do is get in touch with Martin and meet up with the guy he mentioned. I can at least ask how much for the service, right? That won’t obligate us in any way. Just a simple inquiry.

I sat down and untied my shoes before pulling them off. I was down to just my boxers when the door flew open.

Ho ho ho! Green Giant! Let’s have niblets! Jeannie crowed, thrusting a bag towards me.

Yep, that sounds great, hun, I told her., laughing at her antics. Her joy really was infectious. When and if her people came to take her back home, I was going to miss her something fierce. Read what it says on the back about how to cook it, and go do everything it says except to turn on the stove, okay?

Okay! Jeannie bounced back out the door. I snorted. She really was adorable, I thought as I pulled on a pair of shorts. A light blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt followed, and then