The Complete Fourth Season

By Alex Scott

The third out of four collections of short stories written as part of a challenge to write--or at least publish--a story a week for a year. Includes snoring, an interdimensional sword fight, an antique painting, a diner, a doohicky, a street preacher car thief, a martial arts tournament, a fire, a princess, a Frankenstein, a talking asteroid, a legendary guitar, and a return to the world of Thresholds of the Grand Dream.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alex Scott
• Release date: Feb 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005119744

Alex Scott

Alex Scott is a graduate of the University of Tennessee. He currently lives in Chattanooga.

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THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON

by

Alex Scott

© 2021 Alex Scott

All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition.

Portions of this book are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a collection of previously published material. Some portions have been revised since original publication.

Printed in the United States.

First Printing, 2021

ALSO BY ALEX SCOTT

Thresholds of the Grand Dream

Unheard Of

Four Seasons of Short Stories:

The Complete First Season

The Complete Second Season

The Complete Third Season

Short Fiction on Kindle:

A Meeting of Minds

CONTENTS

Introduction

He Snores on the Seashore

Time Cards and Vengeance

The Price of Art

Pest Control

The Doohicky

Getting to the Last Laugh

The Neighborhood Games

Fire

Long Live

The Cadaver: A Tale of the Frankenstein

On the Phone With the Danger Zone

The Indigo Fender of Spectra Q

Thresholds of the Roaming Nightmare

INTRODUCTION

Ray Bradbury recommended writing a story a week for a year, saying that you can’t write fifty-two bad stories in a row. More recently, the cartoonist Anthony Clark put out a series of Bad Comics, small comic strips that weren’t concerned one bit with quality, and turned out to be pretty funny. In 2018, I decided to take up Bradbury’s challenge with Clark’s sensibility, just putting the words on the page and letting the stories speak for themselves.

I burned out in six weeks.

But then I started it up again in July, loosening myself up a little, and modifying it into something closer to musician Jonathan Coulton’s Thing a Week series. He put out fifty-two songs in one year. I figured if I couldn’t write fifty-two stories, I could at least publish them.

So I did. With minimal revisions—mostly for clarity—I put a story on my blog every week, and didn’t stop until I got through fifty-two.

This collection features the stories written from November 2018 through February 2019, and are printed here in the order they were written and originally published.

For prompts, I mostly brainstormed with word-association exercises to develop stories. A few stories deserve a brief comment. Getting to the Last Laugh is inspired by two encounters I had on the same day; I just combined the two. The Neighborhood Games are my gentle parody of dystopian Young Adult fiction. On the Phone With the Danger Zone will make the most sense if you imagine H. Jon Benjamin as the voice of the asteroid. The Indigo Fender of Spectra Q is actually the second story I wrote for this series, and was built out of one of the improv prompts I relied on for those early stories. Finally, Thresholds of the Roaming Nightmare is a mini-sequel to my novel, Thresholds of the Grand Dream.

The illustrations were all drawn in October 2019 as a personal Inktober challenge. They were drawn in Clip Studio Paint. This truly bore fruit, as it forced me to learn some aspects of art (especially linear perspective) that had frustrated me for years. I added these illustrations to the stories on my blog as I went along, and some have been modified a little for this collection.

I hope you enjoy this as well as the other collections. The stories are once again given with minimal revisions. If you like them, be sure to leave a positive review wherever you like to leave positive reviews. If you don’t like them, well, maybe this introduction will explain why.

HE SNORES ON THE SEASHORE

She would have recognized his face anywhere, but out of all the beaches in the world, Rally would never have imagined she’d see him at this one. She pointed him out to her little sister Faye, who was just as big a fan. They both loyally watched him on YouTube, where he went by CodeHalberd, and posted video reviews of 80’s cartoons, as well as the occasional livestream where he played a retro game while answering questions in chat. And he was here with his parents, just like Rally and Faye were. He was only thirteen, a few years younger than Rally, and a few years older than Faye. He had over 400,000 subscribers to his channel, and here he was at the beach, just yards away from two of his biggest fans.

Faye was bouncing up and down on her knees. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. That’s really him! That’s really CodeHalberd! He’s right there!

Think we should go talk to him? Rally said. CodeHalberd was sitting down, opening a can of Sprite. He always drank Sprite on his livestream.

No. No, we can’t. He’ll think we’re weird. An extra layer of pink appeared on Faye’s cheeks. Rally had suspected for a while that her sister had a thing for him.

But think about it, when are we ever going to have this opportunity again? He must have flown all the way across the country to get here.

But… But… What if he thinks I’m ugly?

He will not, Rally said. He seems perfectly nice. It wasn’t like Faye to get so self-conscious. And anyway, CodeHalberd was in middle school. Faye was still a grade-schooler for a few more months. Odds were he’d see her less as a girl and more just a kid, one more adoring fan.

What if he thinks we’re stalkers? Faye said.

She got Rally there. We can just tell the truth. It’s all a coincidence. Surely he’d know there’d be somebody here who recognized him.

To look at him now, sitting with his mother, who looked like pretty much every other heavyset middle-aged Mom in the world, and his father, who was a balding and hairy-backed Dad, one would hardly think he was anybody at all, except a regular kid like the boys and girls around him.

The illusion held until two boys and a girl—the girl being the oldest, closer to CodeHalberd’s age—rushed up to him in a frenzy of excitement. They seemed to be asking for his autograph. CodeHalberd laughed in embarrassment as his mom handed him a Sharpie. He signed the hem of the girl’s t-shirt and added his signature to the boys’ arms. The youngest one asked him, loud enough that Rally and Faye could hear, You wanna come build a sand castle with us?

CodeHalberd’s hand gestures suggested he would, but not just yet. The three ran off, waving back at him with the vigor of a grand flag-waving.

Faye grumbled over her breath. She was staring at that girl with the same harshness as when someone else had a nicer dress or a cooler toy than hers.

Don’t you want his autograph? Rally said.

I don’t have anything for him to sign.

He signed those boys’ arms.

They’re dumb. It’s just gonna wash off.

That’s what selfies are for. Rally snapped her fingers. We’ll take a selfie with him.

Hm. Faye kept staring at him as she picked the green polish off her toenails. You really don’t think he’ll mind?

C’mon, you saw that gallery he posted on Instagram. He’s been in hundreds of selfies. One more’s not gonna hurt.

Maybe…

I’ve got my phone right here. Rally shook her smartphone in front of her sister. Look at me, trying to be the supportive older sister.

While they were thinking about it, CodeHalberd’s parents got up, asking him if he needed anything. They left him alone on their beach towel as he lay down on his side.

Rally tapped Faye’s arm. Come on, now’s our chance. Just think what all your friends are gonna say when you get to middle school.

Mmnnghgh…

Rally waited for a decision, though now she was starting to think she should have dragged Faye over there five minutes ago. Faye had always been kind of shy, but she’d never get anywhere as a teenager if she didn’t allow herself to make a bold decision every once in a while.

A weird grinding noise came from some distance away, like someone trying to start a chainsaw.

Faye finally sprang to her feet. Let’s do this. Her knees were quaking. "It’s