The Complete First Season
By Alex Scott
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About this ebook
The first out of four collections of short stories written as part of a challenge to write--or at least publish--a story a week for a year. Includes a World War I trench, a scarecrow, a violinist, airborne blackmail, beer, angry gnomes, computers, runaway faerie kids, a lighthouse, tiny bears, a hostage situation, ice cream, and a vampire suing a werewolf.
Alex Scott
Alex Scott is a graduate of the University of Tennessee. He currently lives in Chattanooga.
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The Complete First Season - Alex Scott
THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON
by
Alex Scott
© 2020 Alex Scott
Smashwords Edition
All rights reserved.
Portions of this book are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a collection of previously published material. Some portions have been revised since original publication.
Printed in the United States.
First Printing, 2020
ALSO BY ALEX SCOTT
Thresholds of the Grand Dream
Unheard Of
CONTENTS
Introduction
Sergeant Fillibrandt's Baseball
Farmer Hal and Merle Go Shopping
The Conductor Took the Wrong Train
Citrus Is In Season
Blackmail at 30,000 Feet
TheJewels of the Chief-Lord
The Lan Party
The Pool Party
A Keeper Worth Keeping
A Mighty Squeak
Eight Hundred
With Sprinkles
Solstice v. Trine, or, The Occurrence at NightshadeCastle
INTRODUCTION
Ray Bradbury recommended writing a story a week for a year, saying that you can't write fifty-two bad stories in a row. More recently, the cartoonist Anthony Clark put out a series of Bad Comics,
small comic strips that weren't concerned one bit with quality, and turned out to be pretty funny. In 2018, I decided to take up Bradbury's challenge with Clark's sensibility, just putting the words on the page and letting the stories speak for themselves.
I burned out in six weeks.
But then I started it up again in July, loosening myself up a little, and modifying it into something closer to musician Jonathan Coulton's Thing a Week
series. He put out fifty-two songs in one year. I figured if I couldn't write fifty-two stories, I could at least publish them.
So I did. With minimal revisions—mostly for clarity—I put a story on my blog every week, and didn't stop until I got through fifty-two.
This collection is a mix of the stories written in January and February 2018 with the stories begun in July and August that same year. When I put them on my blog, I alternated between them until the winter stories ran out. From With Sprinkles
onward, every story is printed in the order they were written, with only a few exceptions.
For prompts, I used the website can-i-get-a.com, which gives suggestions for improv comedians. I mixed and matched various settings, relationships, and keywords, and these stories are what resulted. Before this challenge, I never would have thought I'd write a story about a World War I trench or a lawsuit between a vampire and a werewolf.
The illustrations were all drawn in October 2019 as a personal Inktober challenge. They were drawn in Clip Studio Paint. This truly bore fruit, as it forced me to learn some aspects of art (especially linear perspective) that had frustrated me for years. I added these illustrations to the stories on my blog as I went along, and some have been modified a little for this collection. The illustration for The LAN Party
is completely redrawn.
I hope you enjoy this as well as the other collections. The stories are once again given with minimal revisions. If you like them, be sure to leave a positive review wherever you like to leave positive reviews. If you don't like them, well, maybe this introduction will explain why.
SERGEANT FILLIBRANDT'S BASEBALL
His boots splashed through the mud as the rain poured into the trench. Private First Class Bert Longing had thought he was done with the firing line for another week. He'd already rotated out of there to the support line, and from the support line to the reserve line. He didn't care how much ditch-digging they had for him back at camp, he was always glad to go. All he needed was a ball, but nobody at camp had one. Lance Corporal Fred Guilder followed behind him with the catcher's mitt a buddy in Flanders had relayed to him. Bert had promised everyone on base that as soon as they were rested, they could play some baseball. Freddie said he knew who'd have a baseball, but Bert wouldn't like where he'd have to go to get it.
I'm telling ya, Freddie,
Bert said, this guy better have the ball. He'd better be ready to cough it up.
He stretched his leg over Pvt. Kearney, who was fast asleep, using his haversack as a pillow. Amazing he could sleep, with all the gunfire in the distance, or the stink from the soggy clothes and shitholes around here. Bert could hardly manage a few hours of sleep a day.
And this had better be a good game,
said Freddie, in what he'd told Bert was a Northern accent. Machine gun fire roared from further down the trench. They were almost at the end of the communication line.
Oh, you're gonna love it. It's relaxing, it's exciting, all at the same time. Ever look at the inside of a watch and think, 'man, all those gears working together, that's neat'? That's baseball.
Yes, I've seen it. Saw a game being played in a park once. A little like Cricket.
Nah, it's nothing like Cricket. Cricket's all bludgers and beaters and quaffers and who can follow that? Baseball's just… I dunno, elegant.
I'll take your word for it.
Take my word for it? You'll know once you play.
Something exploded, and Bert ducked before he realized it was almost a mile away. You said the sarge is a baseball nut?
Oh yes, loves the game. Fell in love with it in the States. And he's got a ball he carries with him wherever he goes.
You think he'll let us have it?
Not especially, but I've always got along with him. Can't be that hard to convince.
Freddie patted the back of a Private beside him, who was posted by a peephole in the sandbags.